Ridiculous News of the Day

[240B]

A MAN TRIED TO ROB A BANK AFTER PAYING $500 TO A WIZARD TO MAKE HIM INVISIBLE



Never trust strangers. That is something most of us were taught by our parents or guardians at an early stage of our life, especially if the stranger says he is a sorcerer who can turn you invisible whilst you rob a bank!

Unfortunately, for one man in Iran, he made the mistake of trusting a fake sorcerer who convinced him that he was invisible and could rob a bank safely. The man explained to the court that he had paid five million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave him a set of spells to tie to his arm. The fake sorcerer explained to him that the spells would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks all he wanted.

(more)
https://factualfacts.com/a-man-tried-to-rob-a-bank-after-paying-500-to-a-wizard-to-make-him-invisible/

[Cyber Liberty]

I'm sure it sounded legit.

[Smokin Joe]

A MAN TRIED TO ROB A BANK AFTER PAYING $500 TO A WIZARD TO MAKE HIM INVISIBLE



Never trust strangers. That is something most of us were taught by our parents or guardians at an early stage of our life, especially if the stranger says he is a sorcerer who can turn you invisible whilst you rob a bank!

Unfortunately, for one man in Iran, he made the mistake of trusting a fake sorcerer who convinced him that he was invisible and could rob a bank safely. The man explained to the court that he had paid five million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave him a set of spells to tie to his arm. The fake sorcerer explained to him that the spells would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks all he wanted.

(more)
https://factualfacts.com/a-man-tried-to-rob-a-bank-after-paying-500-to-a-wizard-to-make-him-invisible/

Rule No. 1:

If it sounds too good to be true....

[verga]

A MAN TRIED TO ROB A BANK AFTER PAYING $500 TO A WIZARD TO MAKE HIM INVISIBLE



Never trust strangers. That is something most of us were taught by our parents or guardians at an early stage of our life, especially if the stranger says he is a sorcerer who can turn you invisible whilst you rob a bank!

Unfortunately, for one man in Iran, he made the mistake of trusting a fake sorcerer who convinced him that he was invisible and could rob a bank safely. The man explained to the court that he had paid five million rials (just under £290) to a wizard imposter, who in return gave him a set of spells to tie to his arm. The fake sorcerer explained to him that the spells would make him invisible, and that he could then rob banks all he wanted.

(more)
https://factualfacts.com/a-man-tried-to-rob-a-bank-after-paying-500-to-a-wizard-to-make-him-invisible/

I actually had to read this to see if it should be in the "Florida man thread."

[240B]

I actually had to read this to see if it should be in the "Florida man thread."

That's what I thought too. Never knew Florida Man has kinfolk in Iran.
Think of this.
He walk into the bank grabbing money from customer's hands.
Thinking he was invisible and would not be seen.
But even if he actually was invisible, wouldn't they see the money floating around the bank in mid-air?
This guy is not the brightest bulb in the box.

[roamer_1]

I actually had to read this to see if it should be in the "Florida man thread."

HA! I did too.

[mountaineer]

A MAN TRIED TO ROB A BANK AFTER PAYING $500 TO A WIZARD TO MAKE HIM INVISIBLE

I saw that episode of NYPD Blue. Life imitates art.

[sneakypete]

That's what ya get when you go to street wizards,instead of wizards with degrees from accredited colleges,like Harvard,NYU,etc,etc,etc.

[sneakypete]

I actually had to read this to see if it should be in the "Florida man thread."

@verga

Florida Man,Iran Man. It makes no difference because none of them are even sure where or what they are.

The good news here is this one isn't registered to vote Dim.

Probably.

[verga]

@verga

Florida Man,Iran Man. It makes no difference because none of them are even sure where or what they are.

The good news here is this one isn't registered to vote Dim.YET
Probably.

Fixed it for you.

[jmyrlefuller]

Quarantined New Yorker Tries to Recreate ‘Italy Magic’ By Singing Out Window — But is Told to ‘Shut The F**k Up’

https://www.theamericanmirror.com/2020/03/video-quarantined-new-yorker-tries-to-recreate-italy-magic-by-singing-out-window-but-is-told-to-shut-the-fk-up/

[sneakypete]

Since he is a Big City denizen,you would think he would have known better.

[Smokin Joe]

Since he is a Big City denizen,you would think he would have known better.

Especially in NYC, where "Hey! F*** You, Buddy!" is a somewhat common street greeting.

[mountaineer]

Is there anything in the news reports these days that isn't ridiculous? Nevertheless, we must persist.

Moment paralyzed deaf-mute teenager attempts to rob a jewelry shop in Brazil with a fake gun held with his FEET
By Adry Torres For Dailymail.com
Published: 17:33 EDT, 26 May 2020 | Updated: 03:47 EDT, 28 May 2020

This is the moment a paralyzed deaf-mute teenager tried to rob a jewelry store in Brazil by aiming a fake gun with his feet.

The astonishing incident unfolded Monday afternoon at a shop in Canela, Rio Grande de Sul, when the 19-year-old placed a threatening note on the counter using his feet.

The note from the suspect, who authorities say has cerebral palsy and cannot move his hands, read: 'Hand over everything. Don't raise attention.'

A store surveillance camera captured the disabled teen in his wheelchair before he aimed a plastic toy gun wedged between his bare feet at the counter. ...

Full story at Daily Mail

[sneakypete]

Nobody can accuse him of being lacking in ambition.

[mountaineer]

21-year-old Colorado woman shot dead after argument about dog poop
By Kenneth Garger
June 12, 2020 | 1:58am

A woman was fatally shot and her boyfriend wounded by a gunman who reportedly took issue with how the couple told their dog to poop during a walk in Denver on Wednesday.

The victims — identified in reports as Isabella Thallas, 21, and Darian Simon — were walking their pooch near Coors Field when 36-year-old suspect Michael Close quarreled with them from inside his apartment, the Denver Post reported.

“The suspect got into a verbal altercation with the victims related to the victims telling the dog to poop,” according to a probable cause statement obtained by the newspaper.

Close reportedly asked the couple if they were going to train their pooch or just yell at it, the police records state.  ...

New York Post


Thallas

[mountaineer]

Life imitates art (silo scene from the movie "Witness")?

North Dakota woman drowns in giant vat of sunflower seeds
By Yaron Steinbuch
June 12, 2020 | 8:21am

A 56-year-old North Dakota drowned in a giant vat of sunflower seeds when she lost her footing and was sucked inside the grain bin, according to a report.

The unidentified Montpelier woman met her fate in the ghastly accident at the Glinz Farm in Pingree, where she had been helping two trucks unload seeds on Wednesday, the Jamestown Sun reported.

The woman was wearing a harness, but it was not attached at the time of the accident and she plunged inside the massive container, according to the news outlet. ...

Full story at NY Post

[catfish1957]

Life imitates art (silo scene from the movie "Witness")?Full story at NY Post

Unharnessed harness?  That's up there with the guy who made the 190 foot bungee jump with a 200 foot cord.

[Smokin Joe]

Life imitates art (silo scene from the movie "Witness")?Full story at NY Post

That is a hazard of working in any grain bin.
"Drowning" might not be as accurate as suffocated, because wen you exhale, the grain shifts to fill the space your body leaves when you breathe out, and each successive breath will be smaller.
The overall effect is the same.
Between 20-30 people a year get killed this way.

[Smokin Joe]

Unharnessed harness?  That's up there with the guy who made the 190 foot bungee jump with a 200 foot cord.

I knew of a derrick hand on an oil rig who forgot to tie off his harness...90 ft. to the drill floor.

[mountaineer]

 Man allegedly caught at airport with cocaine inside artificial penis
By Kenneth Garger
June 21, 2020 | 11:04pm

A British man arrested in a Brussels airport with cocaine inside of an artificial penis could face up to three years in prison for the offense, prosecutors said last week.

The man was busted trying to smuggle the drugs from Jamaica into Belgium last February, The New Zealand Herald reported.

He allegedly told investigators that he intended to use the cocaine for personal use once he returned home. ... NY Post
 

[sneakypete]

Man allegedly caught at airport with cocaine inside artificial penis
By Kenneth Garger
June 21, 2020 | 11:04pm

A British man arrested in a Brussels airport with cocaine inside of an artificial penis could face up to three years in prison for the offense, prosecutors said last week.

The man was busted trying to smuggle the drugs from Jamaica into Belgium last February, The New Zealand Herald reported.

He allegedly told investigators that he intended to use the cocaine for personal use once he returned home. ... NY Post
 

@mountaineer

Uhhhhh,there seems to be some important details missing from this report.

[EdinVA]

@mountaineer

Uhhhhh,there seems to be some important details missing from this report.

@sneakypete
I dunno... I got all the details I needed out of the headline... lol

[catfish1957]

@mountaineer

Uhhhhh,there seems to be some important details missing from this report.

Like how he is related to Florida Man....   

[sneakypete]

Like how he is related to Florida Man....    :silly:I w

@catfish1957

Or even "Florida Undecided",who "dresses" appropriately for whatever party it is going to attend.a

I was just wondering if maybe it was a guy who thought nobody would find an xray image of a man with TWO penises to be somewhat unusual,and worthy of a closer look.

[catfish1957]

@catfish1957

Or even "Florida Undecided",who "dresses" appropriately for whatever party it is going to attend.a

I was just wondering if maybe it was a guy who thought nobody would find an xray image of a man with TWO penises to be somewhat unusual,and worthy of a closer look.

Well, you know this transgender shit has gotten out of hand.   

[sneakypete]

Well, you know this transgender shit has gotten out of hand.   

@catfish1957

I guess in some cases that would depend on how many free hands you have.

[verga]

@catfish1957

I guess in some cases that would depend on how many free hands you have.

You are D@MN lucky I had swallowed my drink,before I read you comment.

[mountaineer]

Thank goodness for the NY Post.

Man’s bladder explodes after holding in pee for 18 hours after beer binge
By Ben Cost
June 23, 2020 | 12:30pmUrine trouble.

In an incident that redefines “sleeping it off,” a Chinese man’s bladder burst when he unknowingly held his pee in for 18 hours after binging on booze.

The 40-year-old man, identified only as Mr. Hu, reportedly fell asleep — ahem, passed out? — after downing 10 bottles of beer during a heavy drinking session the night prior — without heeding nature’s call once, reports Zhuji Daily. ...

... [A] CT scan revealed that his bladder was torn in three places. ... Even worse, one of the holes had ruptured toward the patient’s abdominal cavity and forced part of his intestines to spill into the bladder — a complication doctors deemed potentially fatal if not fixed immediately. ...

Full (bladder) story

[sneakypete]

Nope. Not buying it.

[Smokin Joe]

Nope. Not buying it.

Most would pass a garden sized stone with that much pressure, or awaken in a huge puddle or wet.

[DCPatriot]

[mountaineer]

Flightradar24  @flightradar24
SAS flight #SK2184 is delayed by about 90 minutes as some activists glue themselves to the aircraft body before departure from Ängelholm in Sweden
https://flightradar24.com/SAS2184/24cff673

3:38 PM · Jun 29, 2020

I can't read Swedish, but https://www.nsk.se/2020/06/29/personer-hindrar-flygplan-i-angelholm-att-lyfta/
Also, this Swedish story, which seems to indicate they're climate activists. Figures. https://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/helsingborg/personer-hindrade-flygplan-pa-angelholms-flygplats-fran-att-lyfta

Probably too much to ask that the glue-on-flesh sensation is very unpleasant.

[sneakypete]

If it were REALLY good glue,the airplane could have taken off anyway.

Wouldn't want one of them sucked into an engine and cause a crash.

[mountaineer]

Extinction Rebellion Sverige  @ExtinctionR_SV
Breaking: SAS Flight Blocked by Rebels – No Bailouts for Dirty Industries! Activists are physically blocking the domestic flight, demanding that no taxpayers’ money be used to bail out the airline industry. 
#BailoutThePlanet #extinctionrebellion #climatechange #jointherebellion

Extinction Rebellion and 3 others
3:50 PM · Jun 29, 2020

[Smokin Joe]

If it were REALLY good glue,the airplane could have taken off anyway.

Wouldn't want one of them sucked into an engine and cause a crash.

Yeah, some good 100 MPH tape and they'd just have increased the fuel requirements and changed the trim...

Oh wait, is that a turboprop? 

[EdinVA]

Extinction Rebellion Sverige  @ExtinctionR_SV
Breaking: SAS Flight Blocked by Rebels – No Bailouts for Dirty Industries! Activists are physically blocking the domestic flight, demanding that no taxpayers’ money be used to bail out the airline industry. 
#BailoutThePlanet #extinctionrebellion #climatechange #jointherebellion

Extinction Rebellion and 3 others
3:50 PM · Jun 29, 2020

eh, a little after burner will take care of them

[catfish1957]

If it were REALLY good glue,the airplane could have taken off anyway.

Wouldn't want one of them sucked into an engine and cause a crash.

Better outcome would be being peeled off based on  turbluence of going 500 mph at 30,000 feet. 

[roamer_1]

Better outcome would be being peeled off based on  turbluence of going 500 mph at 30,000 feet.

Sweet... Like a Bandaid... Rip it off quick!

[mountaineer]

Better outcome would be being peeled off based on  turbluence of going 500 mph at 30,000 feet.

[Cyber Liberty]

I really think the corpses glued to the roof of the cockpit would cause an unacceptable amount of drag, and may not even make cruising altitude.   

They'd have to land somewhere downrange, and scrape them off onto the waiting pickup trucks, and then file a new flight plan. Extra drinks for the passengers and they're good to go within an hour or so.

[DCPatriot]

[Lando Lincoln]

I can't read Swedish, but https://www.nsk.se/2020/06/29/personer-hindrar-flygplan-i-angelholm-att-lyfta/
Also, this Swedish story, which seems to indicate they're climate activists. Figures. https://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/helsingborg/personer-hindrade-flygplan-pa-angelholms-flygplats-fran-att-lyfta

Probably too much to ask that the glue-on-flesh sensation is very unpleasant.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

[mountaineer]

I always thought Mrs. Butterworth was white. I'm so confused. 

[bigheadfred]

This story is a few days old. I heard about it on the radio driving home from work.

San Francisco Giants commit to cardboard cutouts instead of fans for 2020 season

Whether fans will be able to see live-action baseball from a stadium seat this season remains to be seen. MLB has not ruled it out or enacted a league-wide plan in its 2020 season agreement with the players.

The San Francisco Giants, though, have ruled that no fans will be allowed at Oracle Park this year. And in their place, season ticket holders will be allowed to submit photos to be used as cardboard cutouts in the seats.

Link

I was only half listening but for $99 you could submit a photo and get a cutout. I don't know if you had a choice of seat selection. I don't know what team you are supposed to be rooting for.

[Cyber Liberty]

Which really sucks for Mrs. Butterworth because she's not black.  It's like that guy who plays a cartoon character on Fox.  Outta work for NOT being black.    He did it to himself.

[Cyber Liberty]

This story is a few days old. I heard about it on the radio driving home from work.

San Francisco Giants commit to cardboard cutouts instead of fans for 2020 season

Whether fans will be able to see live-action baseball from a stadium seat this season remains to be seen. MLB has not ruled it out or enacted a league-wide plan in its 2020 season agreement with the players.

The San Francisco Giants, though, have ruled that no fans will be allowed at Oracle Park this year. And in their place, season ticket holders will be allowed to submit photos to be used as cardboard cutouts in the seats.

Link

I was only half listening but for $99 you could submit a photo and get a cutout. I don't know if you had a choice of seat selection. I don't know what team you are supposed to be rooting for.

What would "rooting" look like in this context, anyway?

[bigheadfred]

What would "rooting" look like in this context, anyway?

Compost. For the price, you should be laminated. All weather all season fan. Just think. With the right wind conditions you could see what a real wave should look like. Or an orgy.

[GtHawk]

Extinction Rebellion Sverige  @ExtinctionR_SV
Breaking: SAS Flight Blocked by Rebels – No Bailouts for Dirty Industries! Activists are physically blocking the domestic flight, demanding that no taxpayers’ money be used to bail out the airline industry. 
#BailoutThePlanet #extinctionrebellion #climatechange #jointherebellion

Extinction Rebellion and 3 others
3:50 PM · Jun 29, 2020

Is it wrong for me to think it would be hilarious for someone to walk up to them and crank up a chain saw and tell them sorry but the planes gotta go so............................

[roamer_1]

Is it wrong for me to think it would be hilarious for someone to walk up to them and crank up a chain saw and tell them sorry but the planes gotta go so............................

No more wrong I think than seeing how long they can keep up...