Ridiculous News of the Day

[mountaineer]

Mutant goat born with human-like face will be ‘worshipped as an avatar of God' in India: report
 Chris Ciaccia | Fox News

A mutated goat with a face that looks eerily like a human has been born in India, shocking onlookers.

Images and videos of the mutated mammal have gone viral, The Sun reports. Initially, the deformed mammal perplexed villagers in Nimodia, India, but it is now believed it will be "worshipped as an avatar of God," The Sun added, citing local reports. ... Full story at FOX

[sneakypete]

Bring that goat to America,and within a couple of years it will be a Dim congresscritter,and maybe even one of the smarter ones.

[GtHawk]

Bring that goat to America,and within a couple of years it will be a Dim congresscritter,and maybe even one of the smarter ones.

My bad! I thought it was a picture of a Dim congresscritter.

[mountaineer]

My bad! I thought it was a picture of a Dim congresscritter.

Al Green, maybe.

[sneakypete]

Al Green, maybe.

@mountaineer

I'm cool with that goat if he can sing like Al Green!


Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

[mountaineer]

Not that Al Green, the congressman who looks like a California raisin! 

[Bigun]

Not that Al Green, the congressman who looks like a California raisin! 

You mean this Al Green:



Dumber than a box of rocks and insists on proving it every day.

[mountaineer]

Massachusetts woman trying to turn Natick into San Francisco East:

Massachusetts serial pooper busted for defecating in parking lot eight times
By Natalie O'Neill
January 23, 2020 | 2:08pm

A Massachusetts woman was busted for allegedly turning a store parking lot into her own personal potty — pooping there a staggering eight times in roughly a month.

Dubbed the “Parking Lot Pooper,” Andrea Grocer, 51, of Ashland was allegedly caught dropping trou near the Natick Outdoor Store on Wednesday morning after she was nabbed on camera in the act, according to metrowestdailynews.com. ...

Cops linked Grocer to all eight poops  — leaving store owner Henry Kanner flush with excitement. ...

Someone's having a crappy day.

Full story at NY Post

[Cyber Liberty]

Massachusetts woman trying to turn Natick into San Francisco East:
Someone's having a crappy day.

Full story at NY Post

Oh, thank God!  Another sh*tty story to get this thread on track, and away from that California raisin.

[TomSea]

Mutant goat born with human-like face will be ‘worshipped as an avatar of God' in India: report
 Chris Ciaccia | Fox News

A mutated goat with a face that looks eerily like a human has been born in India, shocking onlookers.

Images and videos of the mutated mammal have gone viral, The Sun reports. Initially, the deformed mammal perplexed villagers in Nimodia, India, but it is now believed it will be "worshipped as an avatar of God," The Sun added, citing local reports. ... Full story at FOX

That story is I'm sure true. Some stories out of India, I do a double-take on but they are probably true.

[roamer_1]

Oh, thank God!  Another sh*tty story to get this thread on track, and away from that California raisin.

“At first, [workers] thought it was an animal but then they noticed toilet paper and other wipes — items animals would not have access to,” said police spokeswoman Lt. Cara Rossi, who said the first feces was found in early December.

https://nypost.com/2020/01/23/massachusetts-serial-pooper-busted-for-defecating-in-parking-lot-eight-times/?utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow

Now there's some top-flight detecting!

[Smokin Joe]

Now there's some top-flight detecting!

See! It pays to know your sh*t!
When are they deporting her to San Fraancisco?

[roamer_1]

See! It pays to know your sh*t!

 

[sneakypete]

You mean this Al Green:



Dumber than a box of rocks and insists on proving it every day.

@Bigun

YIKES! The goat doesn't look all that bad anymore.

[berdie]

Massachusetts woman trying to turn Natick into San Francisco East:
Someone's having a crappy day.

Full story at NY Post

Are we completely sure this isn't false reporting? She really lives in Florida, doesn't she?

[dancer]

Not that Al Green, the congressman who looks like a California raisin! 

Caveman.

[mountaineer]

The hamburglar strikes again!

Vandal In Whitehall ‘Topping’ Cars, Road Signs With Sliced Cheese
January 24, 2020 at 1:53 pm

WHITEHALL (KDKA) — Residents in Whitehall are saying that a vandal has been leaving slices of cheese on cars, roads, and even on stop signs.

Several community members have posted to social media pictures of their cars with cheese slices on the windshield. ... More at KDKA

[roamer_1]

The hamburglar strikes again!

LOLWhut!! 

What does that even mean?

[mountaineer]

Frank Sinatra’s golden toilets auctioned off in Atlantic City
By Jorge Fitz-Gibbon
January 26, 2020 | 12:22pm

It’s where Frank Sinatra did it his way.

Three gold-topped toilets from the legendary crooner’s “Chairman’s Suite” at the Golden Nugget hotel in Atlantic City went up for auction Sunday — where they went for several thousand a pop.

The lavish Italian marble-and-gold loos, made by the New York City-based Sherle Wagner International, were among a collection of Sinatra goodies up for grabs by SS Auction Inc. ...

Full story

[roamer_1]

How anybody could spend that kind of money on a place to take a dump is entirely beyond me. 

[mountaineer]

Some folks' poo is fancier than others, I guess. 

[catfish1957]

Some folks' poo is fancier than others, I guess. 

I understand collector interest in celebrity memoriabilia.  However, some lines I just don't understand being crossed.

[roamer_1]

Some folks' poo is fancier than others, I guess. 

I dunno... Seem like a whole lot of ado about nothin. Folks put on airs the craziest ways.

[GtHawk]

I understand collector interest in celebrity memoriabilia.  However, some lines I just don't understand being crossed.

Think about the person who won one of these treasures, they can honestly tell all their friends " You won't believe what I won at the Sinatra auction, it's the shits!"

[Bigun]

I dunno... Seem like a whole lot of ado about nothin. Folks put on airs the craziest ways.

  That they do!

[berdie]

Full story

Other than ostentasious...when I look at that potty I can't imagine how hard it would be to keep clean.

[roamer_1]

Other than ostentasious...when I look at that potty I can't imagine how hard it would be to keep clean.

Since I have been cleaning for myself, the next bathroom I build will have a built-in pressure washer, and be made to take it... with a drain in the middle of the floor too... Bathrooms suck.

[bigheadfred]

Since I have been cleaning for myself, the next bathroom I build will have a built-in pressure washer, and be made to take it... with a drain in the middle of the floor too... Bathrooms suck.

I don't mind cleaning bathrooms since I HAVE one.

[roamer_1]

I don't mind cleaning bathrooms since I HAVE one.

Hey! Just because it ain't inside...

 

[Smokin Joe]

Since I have been cleaning for myself, the next bathroom I build will have a built-in pressure washer, and be made to take it... with a drain in the middle of the floor too... Bathrooms suck.

Keep the pressure down, bro. You don't want to turn all the lovely things you'd be washing out into aerosols....not unless you're in a biohzard suit with piped in air...

[berdie]

Since I have been cleaning for myself, the next bathroom I build will have a built-in pressure washer, and be made to take it... with a drain in the middle of the floor too... Bathrooms suck.

I like that idea @roamer_1 . It beats my unrealistic one of a self cleaning bathroom where you just close the door and turn it on...kind of like a self cleaning oven.

[roamer_1]

Keep the pressure down, bro. You don't want to turn all the lovely things you'd be washing out into aerosols....not unless you're in a biohzard suit with piped in air...

@Smokin Joe , I been shoveling and throwing, and pushing and dozing, and loading and dumping, sweeping and washing sh*t ALL my life.

I am certainly immune.

[roamer_1]

I like that idea @roamer_1 . It beats my unrealistic one of a self cleaning bathroom where you just close the door and turn it on...kind of like a self cleaning oven.

Yeah @berdie ... that'd be a little harder to do... Probably easier to hire a cleaning lady :D

[thackney]

I like that idea @roamer_1 . It beats my unrealistic one of a self cleaning bathroom where you just close the door and turn it on...kind of like a self cleaning oven.

I imagine a dishwasher large enough for a toilet and shower.

[roamer_1]

I imagine a dishwasher large enough for a toilet and shower.

That's absolutely brilliant... and the door... Handicap accessible   

[mountaineer]

Don'tcha hate when this happens?

New homeowner finds corpse of former resident in house
By Christopher Cameron
January 29, 2020 | 2:45pm

Not all housewarming gifts are welcome. The happy buyer of a home in Maryland got more than they bargained for when they discovered the corpse of the previous owner still inside.

The new owner bought the house, on Upland Avenue in District Heights, at a foreclosure auction but only last Saturday discovered the body of the 39-year-old woman who had called the property home. It’s unclear how long she had been dead  ...

Full story at NY Post

[Cyber Liberty]

39?

[mountaineer]

39?

Apparently, she suffered from some sort of handicap.
Still ... 

[Cyber Liberty]

Apparently, she suffered from some sort of handicap.
Still ... 

I always imagined that would happen at my house.  Somebody would find us months later, our corpses stripped to the bones from cats feasting on our remains.  I wonder about that sometimes whenever I see them prowling about the Castle.

[mountaineer]

I always imagined that would happen at my house.  Somebody would find us months later, our corpses stripped to the bones from cats feasting on our remains.  I wonder about that sometimes whenever I see them prowling about the Castle.

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

[sneakypete]

I always imagined that would happen at my house.  Somebody would find us months later, our corpses stripped to the bones from cats feasting on our remains.  I wonder about that sometimes whenever I see them prowling about the Castle.

@Cyber Liberty

I hope mine don't hesitate to use me as a food source if I keel over and die in the house. It won't hurt me,and it will save them. A body is just a body. A "mobility device". Once you die it is of no use to you or anyone else.

[Smokin Joe]

@Smokin Joe , I been shoveling and throwing, and pushing and dozing, and loading and dumping, sweeping and washing sh*t ALL my life.

I am certainly immune.

I'm immune to lots of things I find unpleasant.

Wearing a little sh*t is one thing, but inhaling sh*t is not high on my list of things to do.
I was the one who got to catch the sheep for my great uncle, who didn't dock their tails, and pretty much let them roam until they either needed to be sheared or went to market. Needless to say, those pristine 4-H show animals were not represented in the crap crusted critters I dealt with. Add in mucking out everything from stalls to henhouses to 100 year old barns, and I have dealt with plenty (not to mention clearing frozen temporary sewer lines on oil rigs, and dealing with out houses which should have been moved long before they were. Yep, been there, done that, burned the t-shirt...

[Smokin Joe]

@Cyber Liberty

I hope mine don't hesitate to use me as a food source if I keel over and die in the house. It won't hurt me,and it will save them. A body is just a body. A "mobility device". Once you die it is of no use to you or anyone else.

A friend passed in summer, with his dogs locked in with him. We found him about a week later. He had fed the dogs. Not pretty, but as you say, he was gone, what was left was meat.
No one who knew wanted to adopt the dogs, though.

[roamer_1]

I'm immune to lots of things I find unpleasant.

That's why they call it work (a four letter word)

Yep, been there, done that, burned the t-shirt...

  That's right.

[sneakypete]

No one who knew wanted to adopt the dogs, though.

@Smokin Joe

I can certainly understand that,but house cats are EXTREMELY unlikely to take you down,kill you,and then eat you. They ain't cougars.

[240B]

[mountaineer]

This story is ridiculous in a very horrible and sad kind of way:

Dying mom falls on infant son, crushing him to death
By Jackie Salo
February 4, 2020

An Arizona mom crushed her infant son to death as she fell on him while suffering a fatal medical episode at her home, officials said.

Larinique Meadows, 38, and her 4-month-old son Denari Meadows were both found dead Saturday night at their townhouse in Tempe, authorities said.

The mom had been using her cellphone to search for symptoms of chest pain before she collapsed on top of her son, according to police. It is believed that she had some sort of heart condition. ...

Full story

[mountaineer]

New mom has baby taken away after failing drug test — by eating poppy seed bread
By Joshua Rhett Miller
February 4, 2020 | 3:27pm

An Alabama mother had her newborn baby taken away from her after a drug-test detected traces of opiates in her system — from poppy seed bread she ate a day earlier, according to reports.

Rebecca Hernandez, of Huntsville, was given a drug test after giving birth at Crestwood Medical Center last Tuesday — and her son was swiftly removed after it came back positive for opiates, WAFF reports.

By the time a more official state laboratory test came back Friday stating she was clean, the new mother had lost three days with her new baby.

The original test turned out to be a “false-positive,” a result that Hernandez’s doctor attributed to the poppy seed bread she consumed on Monday, WAFF reports. ... Rest of story

[sneakypete]

This story is ridiculous in a very horrible and sad kind of way:Full story

@mountaineer

I'm guessing Tinker Belle weighted in north of 300 lbs.

[mountaineer]

I'm guessing Tinker Belle weighted in north of 300 lbs.

Don't know. It wouldn't take much to smother a baby that small, though.