Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 793051 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2650 on: September 22, 2020, 02:31:15 pm »
'Excuse me while I whip this out!'

@Free Vulcan

"What are popular lines in singles clubs,for $200,Gene?"
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2651 on: September 22, 2020, 08:37:53 pm »
This type of story probably isn't all that uncommon ...Portland Oregonian
You might say he went off half cocked. Too Soon?
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 62,198
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2652 on: September 22, 2020, 10:04:08 pm »
You might say he went off half cocked. Too Soon?
:laugh:
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 62,198
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2654 on: September 26, 2020, 11:43:28 am »
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline catfish1957

  • The Conservative Carp Rapscallion of Brieferville
  • Political Researcher
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,320
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2655 on: September 26, 2020, 12:21:45 pm »
I display the Confederate Battle Flag in honor of my great great great grandfathers who spilled blood at Wilson's Creek and Shiloh.  5 others served in the WBTS with honor too.

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2656 on: September 26, 2020, 12:46:23 pm »
" Racoon" must mean something else in California,because you might grab a wild one in the south,but you damn sure ain't going to grab one around here and carry him to your car,never mind squeeze him to make him blow into your breathalyzer because you are going to be too busy trying to let go of him.
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline GtHawk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,875
  • Gender: Male
  • Well EXCUSE me!
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2657 on: September 26, 2020, 01:30:22 pm »
" Racoon" must mean something else in California,because you might grab a wild one in the south,but you damn sure ain't going to grab one around here and carry him to your car,never mind squeeze him to make him blow into your breathalyzer because you are going to be too busy trying to let go of him.
@sneakypete
I don't know what kind of coon this clown got a hold of, but I have run into wild Racoons too closely twice in southern California. Once I was doing work on a commercial building at 3am and went to the main to turn the water off, there was what I thought from the distance was a cat...........until it stood up and hissed and started towards me, if you're wondering I was the one that turned tail. The second time it was on my residential street in Anaheim at night but that time I had my young 150 pound dog with me and it was the Racoon that turned tail. There are two scavengers I don't want to corner, Raccoons and friggin Opossums! I did wonder that the story made no mention of the guy needing rabies shots.

Offline 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • TBR Advisory Committee
  • ***
  • Posts: 20,817
  • I refuse to be obstinate!
    • I try my best ...
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2658 on: September 26, 2020, 08:05:59 pm »
Lived in a neighborhood with racoons years ago.
Wife was terrified of them when they came in our yard.
I would have to go out and chase them off.
But if I ran toward them and they stood their ground, that was it. No way.
That means they are sick.
If you ever got close enough to one to actually pick it up you are likely in big trouble.
I see videos of people praising what they call their 'trash pandas'. They keep them as pets.
And I just shake my head. These guys have no idea what they are playing with.
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 61,768
  • I was a "conspiracy theorist". Now I'm just right.
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2659 on: September 26, 2020, 08:10:38 pm »
That feller is part hillbilly, I'd bet.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Online Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 62,263
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2660 on: September 26, 2020, 08:28:55 pm »
That feller is part hillbilly, I'd bet.

It is singularly amazing that he could get sufficient breath volume out of a racoon to trip a DUI interlock.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline Gefn

  • "And though she be but little she is fierce"-Shakespeare
  • Cat Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,963
  • Gender: Female
  • Quos Deus Vult Perdere Prius Dementat
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2661 on: September 26, 2020, 09:11:08 pm »
That feller is part hillbilly, I'd bet.

Yep. The only person I can think of who had a raccoon as a pet was Ellie May Clampett.
G-d bless America. G-d bless us all                                 

Adopt a puppy or kitty from your local shelter
Or an older dog or cat. They're true love❤️

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 61,768
  • I was a "conspiracy theorist". Now I'm just right.
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2662 on: September 26, 2020, 11:55:59 pm »
It is singularly amazing that he could get sufficient breath volume out of a racoon to trip a DUI interlock.
(Mebbe he cheated and blew in the other end... 888mouth
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2663 on: September 27, 2020, 12:44:38 am »
(Mebbe he cheated and blew in the other end... 888mouth

And people think I am crazy for having a bicycle pump always close to hand...  :whistle:

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 61,768
  • I was a "conspiracy theorist". Now I'm just right.
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2664 on: September 27, 2020, 01:30:51 am »
And people think I am crazy for having a bicycle pump always close to hand...  :whistle:
Keeps your breath sweeter (and here he thought that taste in his mouth was from being hung over). :silly:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2665 on: September 27, 2020, 02:54:03 am »

 Lived in a neighborhood with racoons years ago.
Wife was terrified of them when they came in our yard.
I would have to go out and chase them off.
But if I ran toward them and they stood their ground, that was it. No way.
That means they are sick.
If you ever got close enough to one to actually pick it up you are likely in big trouble.

@240B

Bet you that you only do that once.

Quote
I see videos of people praising what they call their 'trash pandas'. They keep them as pets.
And I just shake my head. These guys have no idea what they are playing with.

I had one for a pet when I was a kid,maybe 6 years old. It's mother had been ran over while trying to cross the road,and the baby coon was just sitting beside her crying,so we picked him up and took him home.

SOB grew to be huge eating dry dog food and table scraps. Loved to play hide and seek. He would run behind a chair and I would poke my head around it pretending to be trying to catch him,and he would jump off the top of the chair to the top of my head and hang on. It was like wearing a live Davy Crocket cap. He was as tame as a kitten.

Loved to steal shiny stuff and hide it,too. Just loved to steal,period. Had a uncle come to visit once we rarely saw,and he didn't know there was a coon in the house,and it just never occured to use to tell him. So,he is sitting in a big padded sofa-type chair talking,and I see the coon coming up the back of the chair and started to panice. I kept my cool though,and decided THAT was not the perfect time to tell him we had a coon,and it was right behind him.

As usual,he had play/stealing on his mind. I sat there and watched him steal a couple of Lucky Strikes from my uncle's shirt pocket,one by one,then go back down to the floor and run off to hide it.

Then my asshat father decided having a coon in the house wasn't cool,despite the fact he had lived and slept in the house since the day we got him,and build a cage to attach to the outside wall of our house,and put him in there. That didn't last long because nobody could sleep for all the barking and snarling going on as the neighborhood dogs discovered there was a coon "cornered in a box" on our back wall. 

We ended up taking him out to the edge of the deep woods and letting him go.

Later,after we moved back out to live in a rural area,my father was trapping coons to skin and sell their hides,and he had a bunch of them in a pen waiting for the price to go back up when it went even lower,so he decided to just let them go. A couple of them hung around for a few weeks before leaving.

Coons are VERY smart animals,and pretty easy to tame. All you have to do is feed them.

NOT a good idea to pick a wild one up,though. There is no where you can grab him that he can't turn around in his skin and start eating you alive. They are FIERCE when scared.


Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2666 on: September 27, 2020, 02:55:38 am »
That feller is part hillbilly, I'd bet.

@Smokin Joe

Not a chance. Hillbillies know better.
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Online Smokin Joe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 61,768
  • I was a "conspiracy theorist". Now I'm just right.
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2667 on: September 27, 2020, 09:34:00 am »
@Smokin Joe

Not a chance. Hillbillies know better.
There is one in every crowd.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline Lando Lincoln

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,281
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2668 on: September 27, 2020, 11:01:43 am »
@240B

Bet you that you only do that once.

I had one for a pet when I was a kid,maybe 6 years old. It's mother had been ran over while trying to cross the road,and the baby coon was just sitting beside her crying,so we picked him up and took him home.

SOB grew to be huge eating dry dog food and table scraps. Loved to play hide and seek. He would run behind a chair and I would poke my head around it pretending to be trying to catch him,and he would jump off the top of the chair to the top of my head and hang on. It was like wearing a live Davy Crocket cap. He was as tame as a kitten.

Loved to steal shiny stuff and hide it,too. Just loved to steal,period. Had a uncle come to visit once we rarely saw,and he didn't know there was a coon in the house,and it just never occured to use to tell him. So,he is sitting in a big padded sofa-type chair talking,and I see the coon coming up the back of the chair and started to panice. I kept my cool though,and decided THAT was not the perfect time to tell him we had a coon,and it was right behind him.

As usual,he had play/stealing on his mind. I sat there and watched him steal a couple of Lucky Strikes from my uncle's shirt pocket,one by one,then go back down to the floor and run off to hide it.

Then my asshat father decided having a coon in the house wasn't cool,despite the fact he had lived and slept in the house since the day we got him,and build a cage to attach to the outside wall of our house,and put him in there. That didn't last long because nobody could sleep for all the barking and snarling going on as the neighborhood dogs discovered there was a coon "cornered in a box" on our back wall. 

We ended up taking him out to the edge of the deep woods and letting him go.

Later,after we moved back out to live in a rural area,my father was trapping coons to skin and sell their hides,and he had a bunch of them in a pen waiting for the price to go back up when it went even lower,so he decided to just let them go. A couple of them hung around for a few weeks before leaving.

Coons are VERY smart animals,and pretty easy to tame. All you have to do is feed them.

NOT a good idea to pick a wild one up,though. There is no where you can grab him that he can't turn around in his skin and start eating you alive. They are FIERCE when scared.

@sneakypete

My brother and I had a pet raccoon also.  You described "Mike" to a tee - right down to gorging himself anytime he could climb into the dogfood bag (we had beagles).  In open spaces you could rough house with him and chase and play.  We were very careful if he ever felt cornered - he could turn into a Beast in a flash.  He definitely established the pecking order with our hounds.

He loved driving my Mother crazy by climbing up and ringing the doorbell.  He would do it incessantly.

I saw enough of raccoons to know you don't mess with them.  Fierce, fierce, fierce when they feel threatened.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2020, 11:04:07 am by Lando Lincoln »
There are some among us who live in rooms of experience we can never enter.
John Steinbeck

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2669 on: September 27, 2020, 12:16:55 pm »
@Smokin Joe

Not a chance. Hillbillies know better.
Maybe the ones you know, but not the "Hey fellas, hold my beer and watch this" crowd.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline catfish1957

  • The Conservative Carp Rapscallion of Brieferville
  • Political Researcher
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,320
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2670 on: September 27, 2020, 12:34:03 pm »
@Smokin Joe

Not a chance. Hillbillies know better.

Dang right.  Genetically, I am half hillbilly, and can say all the ones I know, know better than hand grab critters with sharp teeth and nasty dispostions.  Then add the fact that as far as rabies risk, the racoon is number 3 behind bats and skunks. 
I display the Confederate Battle Flag in honor of my great great great grandfathers who spilled blood at Wilson's Creek and Shiloh.  5 others served in the WBTS with honor too.

Offline bigheadfred

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,507
  • Gender: Male
  • One day Closer
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2671 on: September 27, 2020, 07:35:20 pm »
Haven't messed with raccoons. Badgers are a different story.

Dad, brother and I were driving around the edge of a field one day. Two badgers were hunting. I told my dad to stop. I got out, screamed at one of them and started running after it. It screamed and started running away. That lasted until he figured it out. Badger locked up the breaks. Turned, screamed at me and started running after me. I screamed and started running for the pickup. I was yelling for my brother to OPEN the door. They were laughing so hard all I could do was dive into the bed.
She asked me name my foe then. I said the need within some men to fight and kill their brothers without thought of Love or God. Ken Hensley

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2672 on: September 27, 2020, 08:57:15 pm »
Haven't messed with raccoons. Badgers are a different story.

Dad, brother and I were driving around the edge of a field one day. Two badgers were hunting. I told my dad to stop. I got out, screamed at one of them and started running after it. It screamed and started running away. That lasted until he figured it out. Badger locked up the breaks. Turned, screamed at me and started running after me. I screamed and started running for the pickup. I was yelling for my brother to OPEN the door. They were laughing so hard all I could do was dive into the bed.

I am almost certainly the only person you know that can say this:

I stepped on a wolverine. That was a bad day.

Offline Hoodat

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,384
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2673 on: September 27, 2020, 09:40:52 pm »
Badgers are the baddest meanest toughest mammals on the planet.
If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.     -Dwight Eisenhower-

"The [U.S.] Constitution is a limitation on the government, not on private individuals ... it does not prescribe the conduct of private individuals, only the conduct of the government ... it is not a charter for government power, but a charter of the citizen's protection against the government."     -Ayn Rand-

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2674 on: September 27, 2020, 09:51:15 pm »
I am almost certainly the only person you know that can say this:

I stepped on a wolverine. That was a bad day.

@roamer_1

Could have been a LOT worse. You are still alive and mobile,and your plumbing is intact.
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline Lando Lincoln

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,281
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2675 on: September 27, 2020, 10:00:27 pm »
When I was 6, I stepped on a 10-foot rattlesnake that was as big around as a coffee can (well, it was a little garter snake but it felt big).
There are some among us who live in rooms of experience we can never enter.
John Steinbeck

Offline GtHawk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,875
  • Gender: Male
  • Well EXCUSE me!
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2676 on: September 27, 2020, 10:15:52 pm »
Late last night I stepped on the new puppies squeaky ball.............................scared the crap out of me! :silly: :silly:

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2677 on: September 27, 2020, 11:14:41 pm »
@roamer_1

Could have been a LOT worse. You are still alive and mobile,and your plumbing is intact.

@sneakypete

That will teach you about one-handed ad-hoc use of your weapon while accomplishing a weird semi-ballet dance thing across natural woodland... I kinda do remember firing upside down between my legs mid-cartwheel... It was bloody hard to concentrate... Somebody was screaming like a woman the whole damn time... I put four of six (colt .45) in that dang thing, all of em at point blank, and he was still coming. Finished him off with a stump, and that took some doing too.... Came away a little wiser... Bit four times, twice through the same boot... Roughed up otherwise... and a helluva sore throat.

But yeah... I made it.

Offline sneakypete

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 33,766
  • Twitter is for Twits
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2678 on: September 27, 2020, 11:20:39 pm »
@sneakypete

That will teach you about one-handed ad-hoc use of your weapon while accomplishing a weird semi-ballet dance thing across natural woodland... I kinda do remember firing upside down between my legs mid-cartwheel... It was bloody hard to concentrate... Somebody was screaming like a woman the whole damn time... I put four of six (colt .45) in that dang thing, all of em at point blank, and he was still coming. Finished him off with a stump, and that took some doing too.... Came away a little wiser... Bit four times, twice through the same boot... Roughed up otherwise... and a helluva sore throat.

But yeah... I made it.

@roamer_1

That's what ya get for all that screaming like a woman.....
Anyone who isn't paranoid in 2021 just isn't thinking clearly!

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2679 on: September 27, 2020, 11:25:24 pm »
Late last night I stepped on the new puppies squeaky ball.............................scared the crap out of me! :silly: :silly:

Butt nekkid stumbling through the house in the dead of night... Because there was pre-cut pumpkin pie and whipped cream in the fridge (Pumpkin pie is at it's very best in the middle of the night by the fridgerator light)... I bumped something, and suddenly a bright light and a wailing noise... Seconds later the main lights went on and my wife was asking why I was destroying her vacuum cleaner.

True story.  :laugh:

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2680 on: September 27, 2020, 11:27:22 pm »
@roamer_1

That's what ya get for all that screaming like a woman.....

Hey. I kept my mud... Mostly.  :silly:

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2681 on: September 28, 2020, 06:34:13 am »
@sneakypete

That will teach you about one-handed ad-hoc use of your weapon while accomplishing a weird semi-ballet dance thing across natural woodland... I kinda do remember firing upside down between my legs mid-cartwheel... It was bloody hard to concentrate... Somebody was screaming like a woman the whole damn time... I put four of six (colt .45) in that dang thing, all of em at point blank, and he was still coming. Finished him off with a stump, and that took some doing too.... Came away a little wiser... Bit four times, twice through the same boot... Roughed up otherwise... and a helluva sore throat.

But yeah... I made it.
Sounds like something Patrick F. McManus would have written about.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 62,198
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2682 on: September 28, 2020, 10:42:48 am »
Something is going on with the raccoons. This time it's personal.
Quote
Paula Reid @PaulaReidCBS
Strong Pawnee vibes at White House this morning as a raccoon attacked multiple news crews on North Lawn.
Raccoon  allegedly grabbed pant leg of a photographer & then a corespondent before being fended off.

 pictured here in more peaceful times.
10:17 AM · Sep 28, 2020·
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline GtHawk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,875
  • Gender: Male
  • Well EXCUSE me!
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2683 on: September 28, 2020, 12:24:54 pm »
Something is going on with the raccoons. This time it's personal.
Coulda been worse, coulda been a bunny just ask Jiiiimmmuuuh!

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2684 on: September 28, 2020, 05:07:57 pm »
Sounds like something Patrick F. McManus would have written about.

a fine and pleasant misery...  happy77
But true all the same. The only thing that is a mystery is why he let me step on him in the first place. I kinda think he was sick... All I know is that I stepped over a big log, like I have done a thousand times before... but felt a squish at the bottom... And then the whole world exploded.  :shrug:

Many years later, I am still a mite touchy about stepping over logs...  :whistle:

Online Wingnut

  • The problem with everything is they try and make it better without realizing the old way is fine.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21,867
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2685 on: September 28, 2020, 05:43:54 pm »
Sounds like something Patrick F. McManus would have written about.

@verga
Maybe Roamer is really Rancid Crabtree?

“Further Teachings of Rancid Crabtree,” A Fine And Pleasant Misery
“A Hunker is Not a Squat,” The Grasshopper Trap
You don’t become cooler with age but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way to actually be cool.

Offline mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 62,198
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2686 on: September 28, 2020, 05:49:02 pm »
Aggressive Raccoon Attacks ‘Multiple News Crews’ Outside White House
By  Emily Zanotti
Sep 28, 2020   DailyWire.com


Reporters for CBS News and other outlets were sent scrambling Monday morning after an aggressive raccoon began attacking news crews outside the White House.

CBS News’ Paula Reid was the first to break the news of the attack, which targeted one photographer and one correspondent.  ...

Even The Hill — one of the few outlets to initially report on the raccoon incident — got in on the fun.

“The Hill has reached out to the National Park Service and the General Services Administration for comment on the raccoon incident. The raccoons could not be reached for comment,” the outlet reported late Monday. “No evidence has emerged to suggest the raccoons were politically motivated.” More at Daily Wire
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline Free Vulcan

  • Technical
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,798
  • Gender: Male
  • Ah, the air is so much fresher here...
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2687 on: September 28, 2020, 05:57:53 pm »


That you Rocket?
The Republic is lost.

Online Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 62,263
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2688 on: September 28, 2020, 06:02:14 pm »
2020 in a nutshell.  Coons Gone Wild.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline mountaineer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 62,198
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2689 on: September 28, 2020, 06:07:40 pm »
2020 in a nutshell.  Coons Gone Wild.
:pondering: Yes.
“All Democrats are not horse thieves, but all horse thieves are Democrats.”—Horace Greeley, 1872

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2690 on: September 28, 2020, 06:12:33 pm »
@verga
Maybe Roamer is really Rancid Crabtree?

That's kinda a close comparison... One I would rather not admit.  :whistle:

Close, but with a lot more bathing.  happy77

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2691 on: September 29, 2020, 07:18:35 am »
That's kinda a close comparison... One I would rather not admit.  :whistle:

Close, but with a lot more bathing.  happy77sasa
My favorite one, and I don't recall the title, was the one where he ended up wearing the Blue dress.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2692 on: September 29, 2020, 08:05:53 am »
My favorite one, and I don't recall the title, was the one where he ended up wearing the Blue dress.

I couldn't pick one if I tried. The dog putting on a show out the picture window when the preacher was over... The attempted flight down the barn roof with the soap box airplane.... His first deer which he tied behind him on his bicycle with the forelegs tied to the handlebars, and the hind legs tied to the pedals, where upon he was going home, and the deer came back alive.... Him and rancid Crabtree and the ice fishing shack... The deep sea diving expedition in the creek with the bucket and the bicycle pump...

All of those are comparable at least to fond memories of my own childhood.  :silly:
Thanks for bringing him up. I lost those books in the divorce. I think I'm going to have to go buy the whole set again.

Online Wingnut

  • The problem with everything is they try and make it better without realizing the old way is fine.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21,867
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2693 on: September 29, 2020, 01:34:16 pm »
I hold one Rancidism dearly as truth.   Rancid Crabtree convince me that baths are bad because soap and water will eat holes in your protective crust.  This is why we Have Covid 19.  We are too clean.
You don’t become cooler with age but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way to actually be cool.

Offline verga

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,675
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2694 on: September 29, 2020, 02:52:22 pm »
I couldn't pick one if I tried. The dog putting on a show out the picture window when the preacher was over... The attempted flight down the barn roof with the soap box airplane.... His first deer which he tied behind him on his bicycle with the forelegs tied to the handlebars, and the hind legs tied to the pedals, where upon he was going home, and the deer came back alive.... Him and rancid Crabtree and the ice fishing shack... The deep sea diving expedition in the creek with the bucket and the bicycle pump...

All of those are comparable at least to fond memories of my own childhood.  :silly:
Thanks for bringing him up. I lost those books in the divorce. I think I'm going to have to go buy the whole set again.
Amazon has them fairly cheap if you are willing to go with used paperbacks. I had read most of his stuff in F&S over the years. Our school Librarian was discarding "How I got this way". I reread that then went on amazon and picked up 4-5 to reminisce. kind of like hanging out with the guys I grew up with over a glass of Makers Mark. Inevitably one or more of the wives mutters, how the hell are they still all alive with their limbs intact?
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2695 on: September 29, 2020, 03:34:25 pm »
I hold one Rancidism dearly as truth.   Rancid Crabtree convince me that baths are bad because soap and water will eat holes in your protective crust.  This is why we Have Covid 19.  We are too clean.

There is more wisdom in that than it first appears... I firmly DO believe that modernity is too clean.

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2696 on: September 29, 2020, 04:21:33 pm »
Amazon has them fairly cheap if you are willing to go with used paperbacks. I had read most of his stuff in F&S over the years. Our school Librarian was discarding "How I got this way". I reread that then went on amazon and picked up 4-5 to reminisce. kind of like hanging out with the guys I grew up with over a glass of Makers Mark. Inevitably one or more of the wives mutters, how the hell are they still all alive with their limbs intact?

Nah. I will be buying the full rack. As it turns out, I was not aware of his continuation... The first boxed set is what I knew... And there's another other boxed set after that, and then some! So I have a happy 'catching up' to look forward to - And it's all your fault.  :laugh: :beer:

And yeah, reminisce is right... He's over in Idaho, which is spitting distance around here... So if you rub off the humor, that's my life he's talking about. I lived it too.

like the soapbox airplane and the barn roof... Not quite the same, but we built a long ramp out of snow so we could sled from the top of the barn roof, across the barnyard, down the hill and across the pond...

I experienced that same exhilaration he described, sitting there on the barn peak with my Flexible Flyer... I too came oh-so-close to mishap, though unlike him, I DID complete my run successfully, just the one time, to include not falling off the side of the ramp (ice by that time), and shooting the gap, remembering to duck under the propped up barbed wire, so it only tore the back of my winter coat to shreds, and wholly deprived me of the ass of my pants and underpants, as I shot through at 247 miles an hour... leaving grooves in my butt that the old man could use for measurement as he applied my soon-to-come whoopin.

It seems the roof of the barn was made of tin type... A very thin aluminum cast-off from news-printing back in the day. And it seems a robust young lad, on a Flexible Flyer with sharpened runners, is not considered a warrantable use of a tin type roof, and it turns out, is a mass quite beyond the  shear strength of four roofing nails and easily transgresses the mil thickness of the thin aluminum... rending it and rendering it useless as a roofing product - that is, where it did not just tear away altogether. 

That is how the barn got a brandy-spankin new corrugated tin roof at top-dollar prices, and I got a brand new parka and pants to cover my freshly paddled butt.

Ah, those were the days, right?  :laugh: :beer: :seeya:



 

Online Cyber Liberty

  • Coffee! Donuts! Kittens!
  • Administrator
  • ******
  • Posts: 62,263
  • Gender: Male
  • 🌵🌵🌵
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2697 on: September 29, 2020, 04:33:49 pm »
Until now, I'd never heard of "Rancid Crabtree."  Not sure if that's good or not.

@Gefn  How was your Yom Kippur?  Did you get things set straight for the next year?
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
Castillo del Cyber Autonomous Zone ~~~~~>                          :dontfeed:

Offline roamer_1

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 35,785
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2698 on: September 29, 2020, 04:42:02 pm »
Until now, I'd never heard of "Rancid Crabtree."  Not sure if that's good or not.

If you have not read McManus, you are REALLY missing out. I believe 'They Shoot Canoes, Don't They' is the first book, and I flatly defy you to get through a single chapter without at least a healthy chortle. The book shaking around, and the tears from laughing make them very hard books to read.

Online Wingnut

  • The problem with everything is they try and make it better without realizing the old way is fine.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21,867
  • Gender: Male
Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #2699 on: September 29, 2020, 06:04:11 pm »
If you have not read McManus, you are REALLY missing out. I believe 'They Shoot Canoes, Don't They' is the first book, and I flatly defy you to get through a single chapter without at least a healthy chortle. The book shaking around, and the tears from laughing make them very hard books to read.

@roamer_1    That is the Gods honest truth.  I have honestly fallen on the floor laughing several times reading that book.  The man was a marvel!  I miss him and his writings.  RIP Pat McManus. 
You don’t become cooler with age but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way to actually be cool.