Ideas for "revenge" acts for Super Bowl LXI that would drive all the sycophants defending the Bad Bunnychoice crazy:
- Wayne Newton - forget Spotify streams, the real test of a musician's stage presence is how long he can last in Vegas, and Wayne is the undisputed king! Get ready for "Danke Schoen" and "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast!"
- The Four Seasons - complete with then-92-year-old Frankie Valli or a reasonably similar animatronic
- Riders in the Sky - they're already accustomed to doing 15-minute sets every week on the Grand Ole Opry, making an easy transfer to American music's biggest stage. Enjoy a handful of old Western songs and jokes about Fred "Too Slim" LaBour's "cac-tie."
- Jimmy Sturr - Everybody polka!
- Dick Fox's Golden Boys (Frankie Avalon and Fabian) - Why? Because he loves you.
- Neil Sedaka - Eightysomething songwriter kvetching behind the piano, what could go wrong?
- The Osmonds - Marie's a little bit country, Donny's a little bit rock and roll, and throw in Jay and Merrill for a little extra
- A Musical Salute to Muzak
- Pat Boone - and for extra, have him do all his early covers
These are just artists who are still alive and performing. I'm admittedly having a hard time finding women or minorities who would match the level of squareness I've already listed. (disclaimer: I like all of the above acts, even if I make fun of them, so maybe I shouldn't choose the halftime show).
