Ridiculous News of the Day

[Gefn]

I do try not to let this thread get overloaded with "dumb criminals" type stuff, but the headline writers do make it difficult to resist sometimes:

Woman assaults mother with cheeseburger

Police are investigating after a woman assaulted her mother with a cheeseburger at an east-side McDonald's.

Indianapolis Metropolitan Police were called to the McDonald's at 21st Street and Shadeland Avenue around 12:30 a.m. Sunday.

The two women got in a fight after the mom told her daughter she could no longer stay at her home, said IMPD Officer Aaron Hamer. The mom drove her daughter to someone else's house, but on the way, the daughter changed her mind about where she wanted to go.

The 60-year-old mother told officers her daughter, 39, started yelling at her, so she stopped at the McDonald's drive-thru. The daughter was screaming and yelling as they drove, Hamer said.

After stopping in the parking lot so other passengers in the car could use the bathroom, the mother told police her daughter said she wished her mom would die, Hamer said.

"While her daughter was seated in the front passenger seat she took a bite out of her cheeseburger," Hamer said. "The victim stated her daughter yelled 'B---h I outta kill you' and hit her in the left side of her face with her hand and the cheeseburger."

The mom told police she had pain on the left side of her face, and officers saw that she had ketchup and mustard down the front of her shirt. Pickles, ketchup and mustard were splattered across the interior door of the car. The mom's face was red and swollen, Hamer said.

The daughter got into another driver's vehicle and fled the scene, Hamer said.

http://www.indystar.com/story/news/crime/2017/03/19/woman-assaults-mother/99387004/

I Can Haz Cheezeburger! 

[Cyber Liberty]

Pickles, ketchup and mustard were splattered across the interior door of the car. The mom's face was red and swollen, Hamer said.

A testament to the rich variety of ingredients that can be found in a Mickey-Dee's Cheezeburger.  My only question is, "Where's the cheeze?"

[EC]

A question I ask every time I buy one. 

[Cyber Liberty]

[Hopalong Ginsberg]

Not for me. @Hopalong Ginsberg would you use this on your kitties?

Can't - I don't have a licker license.

[EC]

Can't - I don't have a licker license.

You got a CCW for that pun?

[EC]

Cheerios gave away flower seeds to save the bees, but they could do harm

Cheerios gave away 1.5 billion wildflower seeds to aid ailing bee populations this month, the brand said, depleting its supply and smashing its goal of 100 million donated seeds.

But unwanted buzz abounds: The packets Cheerios sent out included seeds for plants deemed invasive in some states and outright banned in others. As Llifehacker noted, the seeds include those for forget-me-nots, banned as a noxious weed in both Connecticut and Massachusetts, as well as for the California poppy, listed as an "invasive exotic pest plant" in the southeast. Many of the seeds aren't native to any part of the United States, the site reported.

More: http://www.khou.com/news/nation-now/cheerios-gave-away-flower-seeds-to-save-the-bees-but-they-could-do-harm/424097897

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Saving the bees is a good thing - if the bees die, we die.
Giving away flower seeds - a good thing in and of itself, there's too little beauty in life anyway.
Spending 10 minutes making sure the seeds won't overpower the environments they are released in - waaaayyyy too much trouble.

[Sanguine]

Cheerios gave away flower seeds to save the bees, but they could do harm

Cheerios gave away 1.5 billion wildflower seeds to aid ailing bee populations this month, the brand said, depleting its supply and smashing its goal of 100 million donated seeds.

But unwanted buzz abounds: The packets Cheerios sent out included seeds for plants deemed invasive in some states and outright banned in others. As Llifehacker noted, the seeds include those for forget-me-nots, banned as a noxious weed in both Connecticut and Massachusetts, as well as for the California poppy, listed as an "invasive exotic pest plant" in the southeast. Many of the seeds aren't native to any part of the United States, the site reported.

More: http://www.khou.com/news/nation-now/cheerios-gave-away-flower-seeds-to-save-the-bees-but-they-could-do-harm/424097897

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Saving the bees is a good thing - if the bees die, we die.
Giving away flower seeds - a good thing in and of itself, there's too little beauty in life anyway.
Spending 10 minutes making sure the seeds won't overpower the environments they are released in - waaaayyyy too much trouble.

I need to confirm this, but I the bees in the "big-bee-die-off-scare" are the imported European honey bees.  I believe our native bees are fine. 

[Idaho_Cowboy]

I need to confirm this, but I the bees in the "big-bee-die-off-scare" are the imported European honey bees.  I believe our native bees are fine.

Yeah, but we need them to pollinate our imported European crops.

[Cyber Liberty]

Cheerios gave away flower seeds to save the bees, but they could do harm

Cheerios gave away 1.5 billion wildflower seeds to aid ailing bee populations this month, the brand said, depleting its supply and smashing its goal of 100 million donated seeds.

But unwanted buzz abounds: The packets Cheerios sent out included seeds for plants deemed invasive in some states and outright banned in others. As Llifehacker noted, the seeds include those for forget-me-nots, banned as a noxious weed in both Connecticut and Massachusetts, as well as for the California poppy, listed as an "invasive exotic pest plant" in the southeast. Many of the seeds aren't native to any part of the United States, the site reported.

More: http://www.khou.com/news/nation-now/cheerios-gave-away-flower-seeds-to-save-the-bees-but-they-could-do-harm/424097897

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Saving the bees is a good thing - if the bees die, we die.
Giving away flower seeds - a good thing in and of itself, there's too little beauty in life anyway.
Spending 10 minutes making sure the seeds won't overpower the environments they are released in - waaaayyyy too much trouble.

I live in Phoenix.  A neighbor on the next street over planted his yard full of these and they were beautiful, but they're a major pest.  Now, almost every house on his street has yards full of them, and a few houses on my yard too.  Everybody's going through Roundup like it's going out of style.

[bigheadfred]

I need to confirm this, but I the bees in the "big-bee-die-off-scare" are the imported European honey bees.  I believe our native bees are fine.

I know someone who does bees for a living. There is a mite that carries a virus and when a hive gets infested/infected it can/does collapse.

[Sanguine]

I know someone who does bees for a living. There is a mite that carries a virus and when a hive gets infested/infected it can/does collapse.

Exactly.  The commercial bees are susceptible.  Apparently, the natives are not.

[Cripplecreek]

I know someone who does bees for a living. There is a mite that carries a virus and when a hive gets infested/infected it can/does collapse.

One issue that no one mentions is that at one time virtually every farm raised their own bees so there were a lot more of them around being cared for. Even when I was a kid in the 70s I knew of several local farms that had bee hives and sold honey. My grandmother's neighbor had bees when I was a kid and the farm behind the church also had hives.

[TomSea]

Excerpt:

Texas teacher charged for having sexual relationship with teen student smiles in mugshot

Her attorney, Jason Nassour, told KXAS-TV that she grinned in her mugshot because she knows she’s innocent.

 "You've got a young lady who was arrested on the statement of a 17-year-old kid with no corroborating evidence. This isn't a guilty person sitting there like they just got caught," Nassour told the TV station. "When everything's fleshed out it won't be as it appears."

The Lockhart High School student often met Fowlkes in person and communicated through messages, police said, adding that they "engaged in sexual contact."

Continued: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/texas-teacher-charged-sexual-relationship-teen-student-smiles-mugshot-article-1.3004991

I'd lean towards the teacher in this case, being innocent. There's certainly a number of these stories. Not sure if this is ridiculous news but not important enough to put in regular national news..

[TomSea]

VIDEO: Bull rams 11-inch horn up matador’s butt during bout (WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT)
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/bull-rams-11-inch-horn-matador-butt-bout-graphic-article-1.3004956

Hideous sport, the poor bull, bloody.  2017 nowadays, when will it finally be a nonsport? 2050 and still doing these things?

There's a Columbo detective TV show episode, where Ricardo Montalban played a retired bullfighter legend. That was pretty good.

[EC]

Congratulations to Pennsylvania! You've made it.

Burglar nets plant, single dollar, police say

ALLENTOWN, Pa.

A suspected burglar in Allentown, Pennsylvania, didn’t get away with much in a recent break-in.

Police said Maico Rosado Jr. broke into a closed bar earlier this week, The Morning Call reported.

Little did Rosado know, the bar’s general manager was sleeping in the basement.

When the shopkeeper found Rosado in the bar, he said Rosado was armed, and had stolen a $1 keepsake bill from the bar, The Morning Call reported.

A half hour after the bar break-in, police said Rosado struck again, breaking into a home by firing a shot through a window to get in.

The homeowner said after Rosado left, she noticed a plant was missing from her house.

More: http://www.ajc.com/news/national/burglar-nets-plant-single-dollar-police-say/yHPKGy40L2tHxzhGhrRoBK/

[bigheadfred]

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/22/europe/uk-parliament-firearms-incident/index.html

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Hideous sport, the poor bull, bloody.  2017 nowadays, when will it finally be a nonsport? 2050 and still doing these things?

There's a Columbo detective TV show episode, where Ricardo Montalban played a retired bullfighter legend. That was pretty good.

You mess with the bull, you get the horn.

[Cripplecreek]

You mess with the bull, you get the horn.

Just be glad bulls don't have propellers.

Authorities ID Vicksburg man killed by airplane propeller

http://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/index.ssf/2017/03/authorities_id_vicksburg_man_k.html#incart_river_home_pop

[EC]

Ontario doctor argued he was too obese to have rubbed erection against patients

TORONTO – An Ontario dermatologist who argued he was too obese to have rubbed his penis against female patients has been found guilty of professional misconduct.

Two patients alleged Dr. Rodion Andrew Kunynetz pressed his genitals against their legs during the course of an examination.

The Barrie, Ont., doctor maintained that it was impossible for his genitalia to come into contact with the legs of the patients because a fold of abdominal fat covered all or part of his genitals due to his overall obesity.

An Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons discipline committee found that the allegations of genitalia contact could not be proved, but determined there was contact with the doctor’s abdomen that was not accompanied by any form of warning, apology or excuse.

http://globalnews.ca/news/3326948/ontario-doctor-who-argued-he-was-too-obese-to-have-rubbed-penis-against-patients-found-guilty/

So basically, "I'm a fat bastard" is no longer an alibi?

[TomSea]

PRI-MATES! Tourist lost in the Amazon rainforest for nine days says he was saved by MONKEYS who brought food and led him to shelter

The 25-year-old said the animals dropped pieces of fruit onto the ground from the branches above
By Caroline McGuire, Digital Travel Editor
24th March 2017, 1:47 pm
Updated: 24th March 2017, 2:05 pm

Continued: https://www.thesun.co.uk/travel/3170647/tourist-lost-in-the-amazon-rainforest-for-nine-days-says-he-was-saved-by-monkeys-who-brought-food-and-led-him-to-shelter/

[Cripplecreek]

The 25-year-old said the animals dropped pieces of fruit onto the ground from the branches above

Only when they were clean out of butt apples.

[bigheadfred]

Only when they were clean out of butt apples.

Sounds like he was nutzoid enough not to know the difference. Or care.

[bigheadfred]

Tennessee bills teen to replace guardrail that killed her

The state of Tennessee erroneously has billed a dead teen nearly $3,000 to replace the guardrail that killed her in a car crash in November.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/03/24/billed-for-guardrail-death/99601304/

[Cyber Liberty]

I think I'll leave this one right here.  Brad's wife deserves nothing less.

http://www.boredpanda.com/brads-wife-fired-cracker-barrel/

#JusticeForBradsWife

[EC]

Harwich student served with no-trespass orders

Monomoy sixth-grader receives no-trespassing notices requested by neighbors for cutting through a neighbor's yard on the way to the bus stop.
By Cynthia McCormick

WEST HARWICH — Monomoy Regional Middle School sixth-grader Autumn Blanchard is not the first youngster to be scolded for cutting through a neighbor's yard on the way to the bus stop.

But at age 11 she may be among the youngest children ever to receive a no-trespassing notice from the Harwich Police Department.

"I am beyond distressed by this situation," said Krystal Blanchard, Autumn's mother. "I can't imagine why it had to go to this level. Someone should have spoken to me."

The neighbors who took out the complaint spoke to school officials, who warned 11-year-old Autumn against taking a shortcut to a friend's house on the way to the bus stop.

But no one involved Krystal Blanchard, who said she already had been lobbying school officials for a bus stop closer to the family's rental home on Bells Neck Road.

"I found out about it when the police showed up at my door with a no-trespass order," Blanchard said of the March 2 visit. "It's making it a hostile environment for my child to go to school."

Autumn, a book-loving, homework-hating sixth-grader who moved into the quiet neighborhood with her mother in September 2015, received a total of three pink no-trespass notices that day.

Two of them were signed by Jacqueline Leger of Arbutus Lane and one by Leger's mother, Patricia Taylor, who lives next door to the Blanchards on Bells Neck Road.

According to both Blanchard and Taylor, Autumn would cut through Taylor's property to get to Leger's driveway so she could walk to the bus stop with Leger's daughter.

More: http://www.capecodtimes.com/news/20170324/harwich-student-served-with-no-trespass-orders

Going into to Ridiculous News because it's petty, spiteful and has an incompetent school principal as a bonus round.

[Sanguine]

Canadian Man's Surname on License Plate Deemed Offensive



March 24, 2017 08:02 PM

A Canadian provincial government has withdrawn a man's eponymous personalized vehicle license plate, saying Lorne Grabher's surname is offensive to women when viewed on his car bumper.

Grabher said Friday that he put his last name on the license plate decades ago as a gift for his late father's birthday, and says the province's refusal to renew the plate late last year is unfair.
...

http://kstp.com/national/canadian-license-plate-offensive-surname/4435574/

[Cripplecreek]

@EC

Not being restricted to streets and sidewalks was a privilege of childhood but it appears to be another piece of fading nostalgia.

When I go to my old hometown I notice that all the worn pathways across grassy areas are long gone because kids aren't making or "maintaining" them anymore.

[Smokin Joe]

@EC

Not being restricted to streets and sidewalks was a privilege of childhood but it appears to be another piece of fading nostalgia.

When I go to my old hometown I notice that all the worn pathways across grassy areas are long gone because kids aren't making or "maintaining" them anymore.

As long as you didn't break anything or make a mess, that's generally true. Where people had manicured yards, it was best to avoid cutting across them, even then.

[verga]

I think I'll leave this one right here.  Brad's wife deserves nothing less.

http://www.boredpanda.com/brads-wife-fired-cracker-barrel/

#JusticeForBradsWife

@Cyber Liberty As if we need more proof that social media can be evil and that the masses are asses. It is none of anyone business except Brad and his wife. Yet everyone is piling on with this mob mentality. It is the same mentality that has overweight girls committing suicide when the anonymous masses pile on her making lewd and rude comments on her Facebook page. It is the same mentality that has mob violence being acceptable in places like Ferguson. People say things over the internet that they would never have the courage to say to another persons face.

[verga]

As long as you didn't break anything or make a mess, that's generally true. Where people had manicured yards, it was best to avoid cutting across them, even then.

Years ago in my youth one of the corner lots had a hedge that went at a 45 degree diagonal. It didn't stop us, it just gave us an obstacle to hurdle. 

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty As if we need more proof that social media can be evil and that the masses are asses. It is none of anyone business except Brad and his wife. Yet everyone is piling on with this mob mentality. It is the same mentality that has overweight girls committing suicide when the anonymous masses pile on her making lewd and rude comments on her Facebook page. It is the same mentality that has mob violence being acceptable in places like Ferguson. People say things over the internet that they would never have the courage to say to another persons face.

The kicker is there appears to be no Brad, nor Brad's wife.  Some comedian made it up.

[Rivergirl]

How about this for ridiculous..........

Judge Napolitano supposedly on DT's list for USSC...........

[Cyber Liberty]

How about this for ridiculous..........

Judge Napolitano supposedly on DT's list for USSC...........

Too bad he didn't make it, so he could have a higher platform from which he can be "always wrong" like on TeeVee.

[EC]

How about this for ridiculous..........

Judge Napolitano supposedly on DT's list for USSC...........

So's Judge Judy.

On a more serious note, I try not to select national level politics or celebrity stories for Ridiculous News. Politicians are idiots 24/7 - this is more to celebrate the idiots and Darwin Award candidates who do dumbass things without a national stage.

[bigheadfred]

@EC @Rivergirl @Cyber Liberty

Put Judge Joseph Wapner on there. Sit him next to Bader-Ginsburg and no one would notice he is dead.

[Cyber Liberty]

@EC @Rivergirl @Cyber Liberty

Put Judge Joseph Wapner on there. Sit him next to Bader-Ginsburg and no one would notice he is dead.

No good.  Being dead would make him a reliable Dem vote on the Bench.

[Rivergirl]

On to more ridiculous-ness.   DT created a bill for Merkel  saying that she owes billions for NATO.
Wonder what he will be creating for the Chinese delegation when they arrive at his nightclub in maralargo.

[bigheadfred]

On to more ridiculous-ness.   DT created a bill for Merkel  saying that she owes billions for NATO.
Wonder what he will be creating for the Chinese delegation when they arrive at his nightclub in maralargo.

A fortune cookie.

[Rivergirl]

Can't you just see the entire Chinese delegation wandering around maralargo........planting little listening devices...........etc.

[verga]

The kicker is there appears to be no Brad, nor Brad's wife.  Some comedian made it up.

@Cyber Liberty So a perfectly good business gets raked over the coals as a joke. Someone needs a good @SS kicking.

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty So a perfectly good business gets raked over the coals as a joke. Someone needs a good @SS kicking.

I assume so, if CB can record a loss because of it, and the comedian has something to sue for. 

[Cripplecreek]

More reports of porn being left on cars popping up

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/03/police_investigate_a_dozen_cas.html#incart_river_home_pop

ISABELLA COUNTY, MI -- Police are now investigating more than a dozen cases of pornography and bizarre notes being left on shoppers' cars while they're in stores.

[Cyber Liberty]

More reports of porn being left on cars popping up

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/03/police_investigate_a_dozen_cas.html#incart_river_home_pop

ISABELLA COUNTY, MI -- Police are now investigating more than a dozen cases of pornography and bizarre notes being left on shoppers' cars while they're in stores.

Well, it's Isabella...Mt. Pleasant and such...

[Cripplecreek]

Well, it's Isabella...Mt. Pleasant and such...

The definitely need to catch the guy.

He may be a harmless nut but he may also be a future skin wearer.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Because maybe you need a laugh: This 3-year-old gets into everything, including an arcade toy machine

Damien Murphy's 3-year-old son, Jamie, is one of these curious, mischievous kids who gets into everything.


"Whenever I walk into a room and see something that could be trouble," said Murphy, of Nenagh, Ireland, in County Tipperary, "I instantly see Jamie in it. He's a real boundary pusher."


Once, for example, he and his dad were looking after an aunt's dog. Jamie "woke up early in the morning and cut a bunch of hair off it," Murphy, 35, told The Washington Post. Still, Murphy said, he didn't see it coming - it being Jamie's Great Toy Machine Caper - when he, Jamie and his brother Shane, 5, walked into Jump 'n' Gyms, a commercial play center that boasts a "multi-level play area" filled with kidly delights.


Among them was one of those big claw machines filled with cuddly stuffed teddy bears, doggies, giraffes and dragons, a contraption tantalizing to young and old alike but especially to 3-year-olds. Even though it says "Prize Every Time" in big yellow letters, 3-year-olds can't read and are smart enough anyway not to be taken in.


Indeed, as someone recently wrote, getting a prize can be tough "unless you're small enough to climb inside . . ."


Read more at http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0317/barbash032617.php3#EeQiEdlYyBggersP.99

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Oregon hiker could face charges for bringing 'malnourished' bear cub to wildlife center

Animal officials in Oregon are reminding the public to leave wildlife alone after a hiker who discovered a bear cub in distress brought the animal to a wildlife center himself.


On Monday evening, Salem resident Corey Hancock, who could face charges for his actions, was hiking the Santiam River Trail outside the city when he came across the 3-month-old cub about two miles down the trail, he told ABC News today.


Hancock, who said he has been hiking the trail for more than 20 years, described the bear as "motionless" when he found it.


https://www.yahoo.com/gma/oregon-hiker-could-face-charges-bringing-malnourished-bear-171004324--abc-news-topstories.html

[Sanguine]

Oregon hiker could face charges for bringing 'malnourished' bear cub to wildlife center

Animal officials in Oregon are reminding the public to leave wildlife alone after a hiker who discovered a bear cub in distress brought the animal to a wildlife center himself.


On Monday evening, Salem resident Corey Hancock, who could face charges for his actions, was hiking the Santiam River Trail outside the city when he came across the 3-month-old cub about two miles down the trail, he told ABC News today.


Hancock, who said he has been hiking the trail for more than 20 years, described the bear as "motionless" when he found it.


https://www.yahoo.com/gma/oregon-hiker-could-face-charges-bringing-malnourished-bear-171004324--abc-news-topstories.html

Lucky idiot.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Lucky idiot.

Some days you get the bear...

[TomSea]

SEE IT: Pigcasso brings life to South African animal sanctuary with ‘abstract’ art

Sow in the world?

A pig on a South African animal sanctuary spends her days painting “abstract” masterpieces. It’s true, and her paintings have sold for up to $2,000 a piece.

The adorable oinker, named Pigcasso, was rescued from a slaughterhouse after she began painting last October, ITV reports.


A pig who was destined to become a pork chop was saved from the slaughter house and has now become an artist. The pig, appropriately named Pigcasso, is thought to be the world's only painting pig. (Caters News Agency)

Continued: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/pigcasso-brings-life-animal-sanctuary-abstract-art-article-1.3012932