Ridiculous News of the Day

[240B]

Here is a fellow charged with a hate crime but if one reads his reasoning, he's absolutely nuts. Commit instead of punish? I'm not for leniency but this is crazy. Excerpted, there's more to the bizarre behavior at the link.

Definitely a psychopath. It sounds like he was on a self appointed mission from God and looking for a fight, Bernhard Goetz style.


Trivia note: The name of the restaurant is alAqsa. This is what the Muslims call the Jewish temple mount in Jerusalem.

[Smokin Joe]

Traipse thru cow pastures much?

I have, but you don't want to step where those mushrooms grow...

[Smokin Joe]

Definitely a psychopath. It sounds like he was on a self appointed mission from God and looking for a fight, Bernhard Goetz style.


Trivia note: The name of the restaurant is alAqsa. This is what the Muslims call the Jewish temple mount in Jerusalem.

The problem with guys like that is that if someone did stumble across a slave labor thing or the like, the nutters make the police a little less inclined to do anything.

[Sanguine]

Traipse thru cow pastures much?

 

No, as a medic. 

[TomSea]

'Don't bag up dog poo in countryside', animal owners urged
    13 March 2017

Dog walkers are being urged not to bag up their pet's poo in the countryside - but to use a stick and flick it into the undergrowth instead.

Conservative MP Anne Main will advocate the method during a Westminster debate as a way of reducing the number of plastic bags blighting the countryside.

Mrs Main says better signage is needed at the entrance of parks and open spaces so dog owners know what to do.

She says poo-filled bags hanging from trees are a nationwide problem.

Continued: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-39254072

Under the circumstances,  that sounds like the correct thing to do. In the US, raccoons and all kinds of creatures leave their scat out there, droppings, whatever is the correct term.

[EC]

This guy went to McDonald’s and ended up just ordering a slice of cheese

Sometimes, less is more.

There are those days when all you want to eat is something simple, something delicious and yet uncomplicated in flavour and texture.

You don’t want pickles jostling next to juicy meat. There’s no need for a smattering of sauces.

And fortunately, restaurants and outlets are becoming a bit more sensitive to these sorts of whims.

Even at McDonald’s, for example, you can add and take away as many of the extras as you wish.

Indeed, you can even take away what some of us would consider to be the very essence of a burger meal.

Twitter user @coL_Merchant visited those golden arches a couple of days ago and decided to strip his lunch down to the very basics.

He ordered a cheeseburger and got rid of all the frills.

That included: no onion, sauces, pickles, meat patty and no bun.

In other words, he ordered a single slice of plastic-y American cheese.

More, and picture proof of being a complete idiot: http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/15/this-guy-went-to-mcdonalds-and-ended-up-just-ordering-a-slice-of-cheese-6510811/

[GtHawk]

This guy went to McDonald’s and ended up just ordering a slice of cheese

Sometimes, less is more.

There are those days when all you want to eat is something simple, something delicious and yet uncomplicated in flavour and texture.

You don’t want pickles jostling next to juicy meat. There’s no need for a smattering of sauces.

And fortunately, restaurants and outlets are becoming a bit more sensitive to these sorts of whims.

Even at McDonald’s, for example, you can add and take away as many of the extras as you wish.

Indeed, you can even take away what some of us would consider to be the very essence of a burger meal.

Twitter user @coL_Merchant visited those golden arches a couple of days ago and decided to strip his lunch down to the very basics.

He ordered a cheeseburger and got rid of all the frills.

That included: no onion, sauces, pickles, meat patty and no bun.

In other words, he ordered a single slice of plastic-y American cheese.

More, and picture proof of being a complete idiot: http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/15/this-guy-went-to-mcdonalds-and-ended-up-just-ordering-a-slice-of-cheese-6510811/

No doubt he was an ass and got exactly what he ordered, the way he ordered it. Forty years ago you could order just a piece of cheese or meat or even a bun by itself. But if you were a jerk I would charge you as much as I could too.

[240B]

You don’t want pickles jostling next to juicy meat. There’s no need for a smattering of sauces.
----------------
Unfortunate choice of words.

[Smokin Joe]

You don’t want pickles jostling next to juicy meat. There’s no need for a smattering of sauces.
----------------
Unfortunate choice of words.

Quite. :nometalk:

[240B]

Quite. :nometalk:

You know, that is such an odd way to phrase something, you have to wonder if it was deliberate. I'm betting that there was some snickering by the author when he wrote that. It is too weird to be accidental.

[EC]

It's the Metro. They excel at more juvenile humor, and yes, the word choice is always deliberate. Still they are amazing good at ferreting out ridiculous news stories - could fill the thread from them alone.

[Cyber Liberty]

It's the Metro. They excel at more juvenile humor, and yes, the word choice is always deliberate. Still they are amazing good at ferreting out ridiculous news stories - could fill the thread from them alone.

I tripped over a great article there about selling your knickers online...to "normal" blokes.  Just what do you guys call "normal" blokes?  (Scare quotes are in the story)

[EC]

A normal bloke would be one who isn't buying them to wear. 

[Cyber Liberty]

A normal bloke would be one who isn't buying them to wear. 

Muy Bueno. 

[Wingnut]

A normal bloke would be one who isn't buying them to wear. 

Say what?   

[Cyber Liberty]

Say what?   

I have to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew.

[Sanguine]

I have to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew.

Fine, but please keep it to yourself....

[Cyber Liberty]

Fine, but please keep it to yourself....

[Wingnut]

Fine, but please keep it to yourself....

He might get his knickers in a knot?

[Wingnut]

I have to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew.

I wish I wouldn't have know now what I never knew then.

[Cyber Liberty]

I wish I wouldn't have know now what I never knew then.

I now know what I never knew before.  I can buy used knickers on the interwebz.  Thank God and Al Gore!  (Actually not quite true.  I read an article in Cracked about a gal who made her college money doing that.)

[EC]

Yeah - she did custom orders, if I recall right.

[Cyber Liberty]

Yeah - she did custom orders, if I recall right.

Yup.  You read the same article.  That's where the big money was, too.

[Sanguine]

He might get his knickers in a knot?

I don't want to know, Wingy.

[240B]

It's not just the guys who are into this. Been selling my skivvies to chicks online for years. At least I think they are chicks? Prices very depending on the brand, material, and how the purchaser wants them enhanced.

[Wingnut]

Yeah - she did custom orders, if I recall right.

Yup.  You read the same article.  That's where the big money was, too.

Didn't she have her boy friend test drive a few pair n special request.

[Cyber Liberty]

It's not just the guys who are into this. Been selling my skivvies to chicks online for years. At least I think they are chicks? Prices very depending on the brand, material, and how the purchaser wants them enhanced.

[Cyber Liberty]

Didn't she have her boy friend test drive a few pair n special request.

I can't recall.  I can't check right now either because Cracked makes my company firewall scream.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

German dog-walker has close call with coconut cannon

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BERLIN — Mar 15, 2017, 7:03 PM ET

A dog walker in the German capital can be thankful he turned out to be a fruitless target after his close call with a coconut cannon.

The man was walking in an industrial area on March 1 when he heard a bang and a ball-shaped projectile flew past him, hitting a nearby lamppost....
http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/german-dog-walker-close-call-coconut-cannon-46157921

[Sanguine]

German dog-walker has close call with coconut cannon

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BERLIN — Mar 15, 2017, 7:03 PM ET

A dog walker in the German capital can be thankful he turned out to be a fruitless target after his close call with a coconut cannon.

The man was walking in an industrial area on March 1 when he heard a bang and a ball-shaped projectile flew past him, hitting a nearby lamppost....
http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/german-dog-walker-close-call-coconut-cannon-46157921

But, wait, there's more:

A 23-year-old man told officers he had helped to build the cannon for an art project in the Antarctic and wanted to test it before it was shipped.

Police said Wednesday they impounded the cannon and prosecutors are investigating whether it breaches arms control laws.

[240B]

If there is any place on Earth that a coconut cannon would come in handy it is in Antarctica. Coconuts are everywhere and you can use them to shoot at the penguins. It will keep them at bay and prevent them from attacking so often.

[Smokin Joe]

If there is any place on Earth that a coconut cannon would come in handy it is in Antarctica. Coconuts are everywhere and you can use them to shoot at the penguins. It will keep them at bay and prevent them from attacking so often.

At least that lets the swallows off the hook....

[EC]

Charity shop worker accidentally sells electrician’s toolbox while he is fixing light

A charity shop worker accidentally sold an electrician’s toolbox after he put it down for a moment.

Andrew Bickel, 39, was shocked when he found out his equipment (worth £200) had been sold for just £1 while he was away.

He had gone to his van to get a part he needed to fix a light at the store in Cardiff.

‘It was a job as a favour. They mentioned that they had a faulty light switch so I said I would come back and change the switch,’ he said.

‘I left my tools on a book case and went out to my van to get a switch. I came back in and my tools had gone.’

http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/17/charity-shop-worker-accidentally-sells-electricians-toolbox-while-he-is-fixing-light-6517111/

It's the bolded bit that turns it into comedy gold. The last line turns it into diamond.

[bigheadfred]

No good deed...

[TomSea]

Burlington man accused of trying to poison wife with Visine
By Evan Bolin   Mar 16, 2017 10:56 PM CST

BURLINGTON (WKOW) -- A Burlington man is accused of using eye drops to poison his wife. 

Prosecutors say 45-year-old Darin Tiedt squirted Visine into his wife's soda, possibly for weeks, before she caught him doing it on Sunday.

Continued: http://www.wkow.com/story/34935863/2017/03/16/burlington-man-accused-of-trying-to-poison-wife

There is a record of using this as a poison in other cases, who knows how often this has occurred in cases we don't know of?

http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/visine-poisoning-eye-drops-girlfriend/2013/03/11/id/494089/

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/07/02/maryland-mom-accused-poisoning-young-sons-with-visine.html

[TomSea]

17 years in prison for Stevens Point man in samurai sword attack
http://www.waow.com/story/34942032/2017/03/17/17-years-in-prison-for-stevens-point-man-in-samurai-sword-attack

[TomSea]

Mosque burglar: police ask for tips, release photos, say no evidence of hate crime

The Gadsden Police Department is asking for the public's assistance in identifying a burglar suspected of stealing from mosques.

Three Alabama mosques have been burglarized in the past week in Anniston, Gadsden and Tuscaloosa, police said.

...

Tuscaloosa police said a suspect entered the building using the security key code.

...

More: http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/03/mosque_burglar_police_ask_for.html

[Cripplecreek]

Not so much ridiculous as it is interesting.

Stunning Great Lakes view shows we left our lights on last night

http://www.mlive.com/weather/index.ssf/2017/03/stunning_great_lakes_view_show.html#incart_river_home

[bigheadfred]

Not so much ridiculous as it is interesting.

Stunning Great Lakes view shows we left our lights on last night

Saturday night.

[Cripplecreek]

Saturday night.

Thursday actually. Last night was solid clouds here in the south.

[bigheadfred]

Footballer accidentally thanks his wife and girlfriend in incredible man of the match speech

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2017/03/18/footballer-accidentally-thanks-wife-girlfriend-incredible-man/

[bigheadfred]

https://i.imgur.com/O2ZCWNY.gifv

[Silver Pines]

‘Lick’ your cat with the purr-fectly crazy Licki Brush!





I love cats, okay?  But if I got caught doing this, I would DESERVE to be sent to a rubber room.  Also smacked a few times.

@Freya


http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/lick-cat-purr-fectly-crazy-licki-brush-article-1.2647084

[bigheadfred]

‘Lick’ your cat with the purr-fectly crazy Licki Brush!

I love cats, okay?  But if I got caught doing this, I would DESERVE to be sent to a rubber room.  Also smacked a few times.

@Freya


http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/lick-cat-purr-fectly-crazy-licki-brush-article-1.2647084

You're supposed to use it on a cat.

[EC]

The cats don't look overly thrilled by it either. 

[Cripplecreek]

‘Lick’ your cat with the purr-fectly crazy Licki Brush!

I love cats, okay?  But if I got caught doing this, I would DESERVE to be sent to a rubber room.  Also smacked a few times.

@Freya

Thank god they don't make them for dogs.

[Gefn]

‘Lick’ your cat with the purr-fectly crazy Licki Brush!





I love cats, okay?  But if I got caught doing this, I would DESERVE to be sent to a rubber room.  Also smacked a few times.

@Freya


http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/lick-cat-purr-fectly-crazy-licki-brush-article-1.2647084

Not for me. @Hopalong Ginsberg would you use this on your kitties?

[Smokin Joe]

‘Lick’ your cat with the purr-fectly crazy Licki Brush!

I love cats, okay?  But if I got caught doing this, I would DESERVE to be sent to a rubber room.  Also smacked a few times.

I'd be concerned about toxoplasmosis. Let the cat do its own licking. The dog does...

[240B]

I'd be concerned about toxoplasmosis. Let the cat do its own licking. The dog does...

Exactly. You would be stirring up a cloud of dander, mites, snd other filth, right under your nose and mouth. It would be like brushing your cat and then snorting whatever comes off like cocaine. This is an insanely bad idea.
Still waiting for someone to make the obvious sex joke with this. Surprised it hasn't happened already.

[EC]

I do try not to let this thread get overloaded with "dumb criminals" type stuff, but the headline writers do make it difficult to resist sometimes:

Woman assaults mother with cheeseburger

Police are investigating after a woman assaulted her mother with a cheeseburger at an east-side McDonald's.

Indianapolis Metropolitan Police were called to the McDonald's at 21st Street and Shadeland Avenue around 12:30 a.m. Sunday.

The two women got in a fight after the mom told her daughter she could no longer stay at her home, said IMPD Officer Aaron Hamer. The mom drove her daughter to someone else's house, but on the way, the daughter changed her mind about where she wanted to go.

The 60-year-old mother told officers her daughter, 39, started yelling at her, so she stopped at the McDonald's drive-thru. The daughter was screaming and yelling as they drove, Hamer said.

After stopping in the parking lot so other passengers in the car could use the bathroom, the mother told police her daughter said she wished her mom would die, Hamer said.

"While her daughter was seated in the front passenger seat she took a bite out of her cheeseburger," Hamer said. "The victim stated her daughter yelled 'B---h I outta kill you' and hit her in the left side of her face with her hand and the cheeseburger."

The mom told police she had pain on the left side of her face, and officers saw that she had ketchup and mustard down the front of her shirt. Pickles, ketchup and mustard were splattered across the interior door of the car. The mom's face was red and swollen, Hamer said.

The daughter got into another driver's vehicle and fled the scene, Hamer said.

http://www.indystar.com/story/news/crime/2017/03/19/woman-assaults-mother/99387004/