Ridiculous News of the Day

[bigheadfred]

This one is local to me @EC. Happened today.

Rigby pair busted with meth at federal courthouse

POCATELLO — A Rigby couple was found in possession of methamphetamine while being processed through the screening area at a federal courthouse.

Around 11:20 a.m. Monday, Pocatello Police officers responded to the Federal Courthouse on E Sherman St. to a report of a controlled substance found at a security checkpoint.

Officers say they discovered what they believed to be meth and a pipe used to smoke meth in a backpack belonging to Tera and John Mullins.

The backpack contained a small glass vial containing .2 grams of methamphetamine and 65 small plastic baggies, according to investigators.

https://www.eastidahonews.com/2017/03/rigby-pair-busted-meth-federal-courthouse/

[Cyber Liberty]

A Tolkien Truther From Colorado Says He's the Real King of England


We may never get to see the uproarious hijinks of 1991’s comedy classic, King Ralph, but, thankfully, reality is often stranger than fiction. Take, for example, a Colorado man who believes that the works of J.R.R. Tolkien are “more than fiction” and has formally laid his claim to the title of King of England.

As spotted by David Mapstone, a journalist at Britain’s Sky News, Allan V. Evans of Wheat Ridge, Colorado, took out a lengthy ad in The Times of London on Wednesday claiming that due to his unbroken lineage—trailing back to the fictional Kingdom of Gondor, he says—makes him the rightful King of England. In the ad, Evans traces his ancestry through real historical kings such as Cunedda Wledig, founder of Wales, before finally arriving at where he appears to think history intersects with the stories of Tolkien, Wales being just a new name for what was once called Gondor.

Evans goes on to state that in 30 days from the post of the notice, he will be claiming his rightful lands, titles, assets, and all the rest, but will also wait until the natural death of Queen Elizabeth II.

The ad ends with a rousing call to his cause and countrymen, before the revealing final line, making any previous fictional reference explicit.

http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/king-england-newspaper-ad-times

So, who were saying weed is harmless again?

Not being a fan of the royals, I don't see the problem.  He couldn't be more effed up than Chas.

[Cripplecreek]

Alger (MI) man killed with ax for calling killer a 'pedophile,' police say

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/02/man_killed_alger_man_with_ax_f.html

The suspect.

[Cyber Liberty]

Alger (MI) man killed with ax for calling killer a 'pedophile,' police say

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/02/man_killed_alger_man_with_ax_f.html

The suspect.

Looks clean.

[Sanguine]

Alger (MI) man killed with ax for calling killer a 'pedophile,' police say

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/02/man_killed_alger_man_with_ax_f.html

The suspect.

That is gruesome!

[Wingnut]

Alger (MI) man killed with ax for calling killer a 'pedophile,' police say

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/02/man_killed_alger_man_with_ax_f.html

The suspect.

Couple of neck bolts and a flat top and he's in business.  Is he afraid of fire?

[Cripplecreek]

That is gruesome!

You should have seen him before the replacement head arrived.

[Smokin Joe]

You should have seen him before the replacement head arrived.

[TomSea]

Tragedy as man drinks an entire bottle of tequila in one go to win a $630 bet and DIES moments later

    Kelvin Rafael Mejía, 23, died after drinking an entire bottle of tequila
    He placed a bet with fellow drinkers as to how much he could drink
    After winning $630 he passed out and fell to the floor
    Meija never regained consciousness and died shortly afterwards


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4280676/Man-wins-bet-chugging-bottle-tequila-dies.html#ixzz4aMrM8Xno
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

[bigheadfred]

Play stupid games. Be interesting to see a tox report.

[TomSea]

Probably isn't fake news but could be.

But folks know, college kids and others, do play those stupid games.

[Oceander]

Alger (MI) man killed with ax for calling killer a 'pedophile,' police say

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2017/02/man_killed_alger_man_with_ax_f.html

The suspect.

Turns out he had in fact been convicted for raping a teenager.

[bigheadfred]

Probably isn't fake news but could be.

But folks know, college kids and others, do play those stupid games.

Alcohol doesn't work that fast.

[Elderberry]

http://www.abc15.com/news/crime/drug-suspects-raid-pepperidge-farm-delivery-truck-for-cookies-police-say?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

MESA, AZ - Two drug suspects were busted in Mesa with marijuana, methamphetamine and several stolen boxes of Pepperidge Farm cookies.

Police report that on February 24 a Pepperidge Farm delivery driver came out of his apartment near University Drive and Dobson Road to deliver the products. Attached to his truck is a trailer full of snacks, and the victim noticed that the back door to the trailer was broken.

About $400 worth of cookies was gone.

Police searched the area and found 33-year-old Daniel Kim and 29-year-old Felecia Guthrie in a nearby alleyway along with the drugs and snacks.

Kim, who police say tried to hide the snacks, told police that he was homeless and hungry.

Both Kim and Guthrie have been charged with drug possession and burglary.

[TomSea]

Alcohol doesn't work that fast.

I won't put it to the test.

I didn't want to get into a "tell us your drunk stories" area but... I know when younger, we were drinking Mezcal,  the drink made from the same plants as tequila but has the worm in it. I stood up from sitting on the floor and just as soon, I sat down on the floor again, right away. Virtually my only experience like that. Alcohol sure can do a number of things if one doesn't watch it.

[Cripplecreek]

I won't put it to the test.

I didn't want to get into a "tell us your drunk stories" area but... I know when younger, we were drinking Mezcal,  the drink made from the same plants as tequila but has the worm in it. I stood up from sitting on the floor and just as soon, I sat down on the floor again, right away. Virtually my only experience like that. Alcohol sure can do a number of things if one doesn't watch it.

I'm betting the guy passed out immediately then died sometime within the next hour or so.

[Sanguine]

WOW! An AMBUSH Of Tigers AMBUSH A Drone [VIDEO]


https://youtu.be/Nhe_cyrHNpI

http://rightalerts.com/wow-an-ambush-of-tigers-ambushes-a-drone-video/

I think this fits the ridiculous news category: the chubby tigers, the music, the setting, the inevitability.

[Cyber Liberty]

Alcohol doesn't work that fast.

It can.  Alcohol gets absorbed through the stomach lining in addition to the small intestine, especially if there are ulcers involved.

[Bigun]

I'm betting the guy passed out immediately then died sometime within the next hour or so.

Many years ago I watched something akin to this occur.  Some guy I did not know (I was in the Army at the time) apparently made a wager that he could down a 1/2 pint bottle of everclear in one go and did. Won the bet but spent weeks in the hospital afterward. I'm told it was touch and go for awhile whether or not he would survive.

[Cyber Liberty]

Many years ago I watched something akin to this occur.  Some guy I did not know (I was in the Army at the time) apparently made a wager that he could down a 1/2 pint bottle of everclear in one go and did. Won the bet but spent weeks in the hospital afterward. I'm told it was touch and go for awhile whether or not he would survive.

A good way to get dain bramaged.  The leftist idiot who shot US Representative Gabby Giffords in the face in Tucson was a product of an almost fatal dose of alcohol poisoning years earlier.

[Cripplecreek]

Many years ago I watched something akin to this occur.  Some guy I did not know (I was in the Army at the time) apparently made a wager that he could down a 1/2 pint bottle of everclear in one go and did. Won the bet but spent weeks in the hospital afterward. I'm told it was touch and go for awhile whether or not he would survive.

I found several teenagers a few years ago getting drunk on the state land near me as one of them was proceeding to die in the ditch.

I was taking a late night ride on the backroads and saw some legs sticking out of the ditch. It was a kid about 17, unresponsive, barely breathing with a slow weak pulse, laying with his head downhill. His friends started staggering out of the woods to see what was going on and telling me he was OK.

I made them get him sitting semi upright so he wouldn't choke if he started to throw up and sure enough he immediately started to throw up while he was passed out so I made them lean him forward to make sure nothing remained in his mouth. I called the ambulance and the friends all fled.

The paramedic said it looked like basic alcohol poisoning to him and they hauled him off to the hospital.

[Bigun]

A good way to get dain bramaged.  The leftist idiot who shot US Representative Gabby Giffords in the face in Tucson was a product of an almost fatal dose of alcohol poisoning years earlier.

From my point of view anyone who would do something that stupid didn't have much of a brain to damage!

[Bigun]

I found several teenagers a few years ago getting drunk on the state land near me as one of them was proceeding to die in the ditch.

I was taking a late night ride on the backroads and saw some legs sticking out of the ditch. It was a kid about 17, unresponsive, barely breathing with a slow weak pulse, laying with his head downhill. His friends started staggering out of the woods to see what was going on and telling me he was OK.

I made them get him sitting semi upright so he wouldn't choke if he started to throw up and sure enough he immediately started to throw up while he was passed out so I made them lean him forward to make sure nothing remained in his mouth. I called the ambulance and the friends all fled.

The paramedic said it looked like basic alcohol poisoning to him and they hauled him off to the hospital.

 

[Cyber Liberty]

From my point of view anyone who would do something that stupid didn't have much of a brain to damage!

His mother is an extreme leftist with a management position in Pima county gooberment.  If you knew Tucson, you'd say she's a perfect fit.  She pulled strings with their Socialist Sheriff to keep information about her son's mental issues secret so he could legally keep the gun he shot the Congresswoman in the face with.  They both later declared the shooting (which also killed a child and a Federal Judge) was the fault of AZ "lax" gun laws.

Meanwhile, Giffords continues to prove one can shoot a Dem in the head and they'll still walk and talk.

[Smokin Joe]

Play stupid games. Be interesting to see a tox report.

Really. Most people would just puke most of it back up.

[Smokin Joe]

It can.  Alcohol gets absorbed through the stomach lining in addition to the small intestine, especially if there are ulcers involved.

Some does, but according to Widmark's research it takes 45 minutes to go full post-absorbtive (to fully disseminate the alcohol throughout the system).
It is the lag between drinking and the effects 'hitting them'.
The higher the concentration of alcohol in the stomach fluid, the more the body will absorb in an attempt to distribute it equally throughout.
That's the reason someone can go in the bar, down a 4 or 5 shots, drive a short distance home and still be sober enough to get there. The alcohol will still be entering their system when they walk in the door.
If they get stopped, though, by the time they get tested, they've absorbed enough they get a DUI.

[Smokin Joe]

A good way to get dain bramaged.  The leftist idiot who shot US Representative Gabby Giffords in the face in Tucson was a product of an almost fatal dose of alcohol poisoning years earlier.

He had other problems long before that, iirc.

[bigheadfred]

What I am saying is the kid probably had a high amount of alcohol/drugs in his system so it didn't take long for the huge amount consumed quickly to put him out. Chugging a fifth would have taken minutes and not seconds for a sober person to pass out.

[Smokin Joe]

What I am saying is the kid probably had a high amount of alcohol/drugs in his system so it didn't take long for the huge amount consumed quickly to put him out. Chugging a fifth would have taken minutes and not seconds for a sober person to pass out.

That's my guess, too. Kid should have stayed with beer.

[Cyber Liberty]

He had other problems long before that, iirc.

Well, there was his mother.  Probably the largest detriment to his life.  The alcohol incident almost killed him.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Alcohol doesn't work that fast.

Assuming he started with the Tequila. He probably needed some liquid courage to agree to a bet that stupid.

[EC]

Normally don't bother with the "dumb criminals" stuff in this thread - crime and ridiculous seem to go too well together - but this one was too delicious not to include.

Hours after being sentenced for theft, St. Paul man tries to steal again, charges say

Hours after he was sentenced for theft in Dakota County, authorities say a man tried to walk out of a St. Paul Sears store with layers of apparel he hadn’t paid for tucked under his clothing.
Alphonso Terry Whitelaw, 32, of St. Paul was charged Friday, March 3, 2017 in Ramsey County District Court with one count of first-degree aggravated robbery and another count of second-degree assault. He is accused of pulling a knife on a store employee after allegedly trying to steal clothing from a Sears in St. Paul. Photo courtesy of the Ramsey County Sheriff’s Office.
Alphonso Terry Whitelaw

On his way out of the store, Alphonso Terry Whitelaw dropped a couple of pairs of jeans and a hoodie, catching the attention of a nearby employee trained to spot stealing, according to the criminal complaint filed against him Friday in Ramsey County District Court.

The complaint charges the 32-year-old with one count of first-degree aggravated robbery and a second count of second-degree assault for the Feb. 21 offense, which authorities say took place at Sears at 425 Rice Street

Store staff saw Whitelaw walk into a dressing room with a stack of clothing and walk out with much of the attire seemingly layered under his clothes and other articles stuffed into his clothing, the complaint said.

When the employee stopped him, Whitelaw pulled out a knife and said “Don’t touch me,” before fleeing, the complaint said.

Police later tracked Whitelaw down after the employee found a warrant of commitment for Whitelaw left behind in his dressing room. It indicated the St. Paul man had been been in Dakota County District Court on misdemeanor theft charges earlier that morning and had received a stayed sentence along with the paperwork forgotten in the dressing room, according to the complaint.

http://www.twincities.com/2017/03/06/hours-after-being-sentenced-for-theft-st-paul-man-tries-to-steal-again-charges-say/

[Smokin Joe]

@EC It looks like he was either incredibly dumb, or looking for 'three hots and a cot'.

[Sanguine]

@EC It looks like he was either incredibly dumb, or looking for 'three hots and a cot'.

Well, there's this: 

Staff also found a love letter written by Whitelaw to his wife that promised he would soon “put a ring on her finger,” the complaint said.

[Smokin Joe]

Well, there's this:

If he'd meant it, he'd have mailed it...

[TomSea]

Police: Batz brothers’ battle in the buff terrorizes apartment complex

Noah Batz (left), 24, and Timothy Batz, 21, were arrested in Indianapolis on Sunday after causing mayhem at an apartment complex. Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department
By Lisa Gutierrez  lgutierrez@kcstar.com

Residents of an Indiana apartment complex will likely never forget the day the Batz brothers battled in the buff.

Indianapolis police arrested Noah Batz, 24, and his younger brother Timothy, 21, after finding them walking around naked in a parking lot of the Lighthouse Landings apartments on the city’s south side Sunday afternoon, according to police.

The two had terrorized residents as they jumped on cars in the parking lot and yelled profanities at passersby, broke into vehicles and assaulted residents, according to police and eyewitness reports.

The brothers were naked all the while.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article137690348.html#storylink=cpy

The article goes on to mention one was smoking pot, the other mushrooms.

[TomSea]

Exactly, EC.

The letter of the law can be stupid, asinine, cruel, devoid of judgment or common sense, or any number of other appropriate descriptions.

If as humans we can't recognize and follow the spirit of the law, when the intent of the law is shown to be (see above descriptions), then we are too stupid and inhuman to exist.

@aligncare

It goes for antiquated laws as well, doesn't it?

[Cripplecreek]

Exactly, EC.

The letter of the law can be stupid, asinine, cruel, devoid of judgment or common sense, or any number of other appropriate descriptions.

If as humans we can't recognize and follow the spirit of the law, when the intent of the law is shown to be (see above descriptions), then we are too stupid and inhuman to exist.

Its why juries have the irreversible right to find guilty men innocent.

THOMAS JEFFERSON (1789): I consider trial by jury as the only anchor ever yet imagined by man, by which a government can be held to the principles of its constitution.

JOHN ADAMS (1771): It's not only ....(the juror's) right, but his duty, in that case, to find the verdict according to his own best understanding, judgement, and conscience, though in direct opposition to the direction of the court.

ALEXANDER HAMILTON (1804): Jurors should acquit even against the judge's instruction...."if exercising their judgement with discretion and honesty they have a clear conviction that the charge of the court is wrong."

U.S. vs. DOUGHERTY (1972) [D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals]: The jury has...."unreviewable and irreversible power...to acquit in disregard of the instructions on the law given by the trial judge."

[bigheadfred]

If as humans we can't recognize and follow the spirit of the law, when the intent of the law is shown to be (see above descriptions), then we are too stupid and inhuman to exist.

I happen to agree with this.

[EC]

Schoolchildren filmed fighting with stolen mops in the middle of the street

Mop-wielding schoolchildren brought the streets of Brixton to a standstill.

A huge brawl broke out in the streets of London yesterday, as youths – some still wearing their school uniform – smacked one another with stolen mops outside Brixton police station.

Dozens of kids were involved in the street fight, which had to be split up by police.

The police arrested two females and one male on suspicion of affray.

More, plus video: http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/10/schoolchildren-filmed-fighting-with-stolen-mops-in-the-middle-of-the-street-6500451/

 

[Wingnut]

I'd say that They weren't affray of nuthing.

[EC]

Stop shitting up my thread.

[Smokin Joe]

Stop shitting up my thread.

We dindu nuffin', man.

[EC]

 

Asked for clean up. Whoever did it missed my post.

[TomSea]

Here is more on the Batz brothers, the story is so odd, I thought it could be fake but now, other mainstream sources report it. The mushrooms, undoubtedly, must have made them crazed.

'LOOK AT US!' Two brothers ‘on magic mushroom bender stripped naked, passionately kissed, smashed cars and punched neighbour in rampage’ at US apartment block

Noah Batz, 24, and Timothy Batz, 21, were arrested after allegedly taking eating the hallucinogenic fungi in Indianapolis, Indiana
By Lia Eustachewich, New York Post
11th March 2017, 5:01 pm
Updated: 11th March 2017, 5:02 pm

TWO brothers from Indiana stripped naked, “passionately” kissed and punched a woman in the face while on a magic-mushroom-fuelled bender that landed them behind bars, it has been reported.

Noah Batz, 24, and Timothy Batz, 21, allegedly went berserk last Sunday after eating the hallucinogenic fungi and running around an apartment complex in Indianapolis, Indiana, USA, the New York Post reports.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3067001/brothers-magic-mushroom-naked-kissed-smashed-cars-punched-neighbour/

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/naked-brothers-punched-woman-passionately-making-article-1.2993819

[Smokin Joe]

She's lucky they weren't on bath salts, they'd have eaten her instead of kissed her and punched her...

[Sanguine]

Here is more on the Batz brothers, the story is so odd, I thought it could be fake but now, other mainstream sources report it. The mushrooms, undoubtedly, must have made them crazed.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/naked-brothers-punched-woman-passionately-making-article-1.2993819

I've seen the effects of mushrooms + alcohol before, and it's pretty impressive.

[TomSea]

Here is a fellow charged with a hate crime but if one reads his reasoning, he's absolutely nuts. Commit instead of punish? I'm not for leniency but this is crazy. Excerpted, there's more to the bizarre behavior at the link. 

Hate crime suspect attacks employee at Middle Eastern restaurant with pipe

Salem, Ore. — A 52-year-old Salem man was arrested and charged with assault and intimidation after he allegedly beat an employee at a Middle Eastern restaurant with a pipe.

Jason Kendall. Photo by Marion Co. Sheriff’s Office

Salem police responded to the Al Aqsa Restaurant around at 1326 State Street around 3:05 p.m. after they received a call that a man was punching and causing a disturbance in the area.

The suspect, Jason Kendall, told police he was walking past the restaurant on what he called “a warrior’s path” when he spotted a woman inside the building.

Kendall said he believed the woman was being held as a slave because of the type of shirt she was wearing. He said the shirt was a signal and it was “what Arabs do.”

Continued: http://fox4kc.com/2017/03/11/hate-crime-suspect-attacks-employee-at-middle-eastern-restaurant-with-pipe/

[Elderberry]

I've seen the effects of mushrooms + alcohol before, and it's pretty impressive.

Traipse thru cow pastures much?

[TomSea]

Sounds like loco weed, the devil's weed, etc. Jimson weed.

I guess, a variety of mushrooms could do the same, after all, there are poisonous ones too.