Ridiculous News of the Day

[Silver Pines]

@Wingnut  @Smokin Joe

Did ya hear what happened to Maybelline, Wingy?

Max Factor.

@bigheadfred

Lmao

[Silver Pines]

Naked woman steals police truck


NBC News
January 07, 2017 02:17 PM

(KPNX)  A naked woman was taken into custody by Arizona police Thursday after stealing a Maricopa County Sheriff Deputy's truck and leading officers on a high-speed chase.

It began when the deputy responded to a call of a naked woman at a Shell gas station in Gila Bend.

Once the deputy arrived at the scene, he approached the woman, who told him she was sexually assaulted.

As the deputy attempted to find something for the woman to wear, she jumped in the deputy's truck and started to drive off, according to investigators.

"The next thing I know, I hear the sheriff's truck -- he had a pickup truck -- squeal out of here," said a witness at the gas station.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2hXHha3   SFW

@corbe

Lol

This reminds me of a story Dana Loesch read on air not long ago.  It was about some couple who wrecked their car after having sex.  The woman told the cops the force of the collision tore her panties off.  I'm going to try and find that audio clip....I remember I was having lunch at the time and I nearly choked to death laughing.

[andy58-in-nh]

@Wingnut  @Smokin Joe
Did ya hear what happened to Maybelline, Wingy?
Max Factor.

Did they make up?

[bigheadfred]

@corbe

Lol

This reminds me of a story Dana Loesch read on air not long ago.  It was about some couple who wrecked their car after having sex.  The woman told the cops the force of the collision tore her panties off.  I'm going to try and find that audio clip....I remember I was having lunch at the time and I nearly choked to death laughing.

Obviously her makeup was at fault. Shoulda used Cover Girl.

[bigheadfred]

Did they make up?

Don't ask this one: "I don´t really understand what sex has to do with makeup..."

http://www.beauty4free2u.com/2015/11/10-most-sexy-makeup-names.html

[Wingnut]

Did they make up?

Break up to make up, that's all we do
First you love me then you hate me..

Stylistics!

[Cyber Liberty]

Naked woman steals police truck


NBC News
January 07, 2017 02:17 PM

(KPNX)  A naked woman was taken into custody by Arizona police Thursday after stealing a Maricopa County Sheriff Deputy's truck and leading officers on a high-speed chase.

It began when the deputy responded to a call of a naked woman at a Shell gas station in Gila Bend.

Once the deputy arrived at the scene, he approached the woman, who told him she was sexually assaulted.

As the deputy attempted to find something for the woman to wear, she jumped in the deputy's truck and started to drive off, according to investigators.

"The next thing I know, I hear the sheriff's truck -- he had a pickup truck -- squeal out of here," said a witness at the gas station.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2hXHha3   SFW

I've been to Gila Bend a few times, and this is the most exciting thing that has/will happen in decades in that town.  Almost got a job there with Ma Bell, but fortunately it fell through.   

[Wingnut]

I've been to Gila Bend a few times, and this is the most exciting thing that has/will happen in decades in that town.  Almost got a job there with Ma Bell, but fortunately it fell through.   

GILA BEND, AZ - Police have identified the suspect who stole a Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office patrol vehicle Thursday.

Police say 31-year-old Lisa Luna of Mesa led law enforcement on a 70+ mile chase on Interstates 8 and 10 after stealing a MCSO vehicle.

The suspect originally told a deputy that she was sexually assaulted, but recanted her story on Saturday and has now been booked into jail.

Luna also has now told officials that she was high on methamphetamine and spice at the time of the incident, causing her to steal the vehicle.

[corbe]

   She's a keeper.

[Wingnut]

   She's a keeper.

Crazy eyes!

[Bigun]

Former SEE BS "News" man Dan Rather to teach journalism course called "Finding the Truth in the news"!!

I kid you not!

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2017/01/07/dan-rather-to-teach-journalism-course-called-finding-the-truth-in-the-news-n2268303

[Sanguine]

Former SEE BS "News" man Dan Rather to teach journalism course called "Finding the Truth in the news"!!

I kid you not!

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2017/01/07/dan-rather-to-teach-journalism-course-called-finding-the-truth-in-the-news-n2268303

Now, that's funny!

[Bigun]

Now, that's funny!

It does comport with the theme of this thread doesn't it!   

[Idaho_Cowboy]

The weirdest tech we saw at CES 2017
https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/the-weirdest-tech-we-saw-at-ces-2017-150521802.html

LAS VEGAS—“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should” is not a motto anybody cares to live by at CES, the huge consumer tech show in Las Vegas. Every year, the show floor collects a cornucopia of gadgets that attempt to meet one human need or another in ways you wouldn’t imagine—or, sometimes, want....
...
The Kerastase Hair Coach Powered by Withings. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images
This smart hairbrush from L’Oreal and Withings, due in the middle of this year for a price somewhere under $200, uses four sensors and a microphone to gauge your brushing and check for signs of damaged hair—apparently, split ends make a distinct sound when brushed....

...Hyundai Health + Mobility Cockpit

The Korean car manufacturer’s experiment would have the car checking your physical state with various biometric data so it can adjust your environment appropriately. For example, it could play appropriate music—acoustic folk might encourage you to drive slowly in a neighborhood—and fill the cabin with such scents as a calming lavender....
https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/the-weirdest-tech-we-saw-at-ces-2017-150521802.html

Crazy stuff. 

[corbe]

Trump Reveals Plans To Be Sworn In On Copy Of Playboy Magazine

November 14, 2016

NEW YORK, NY—During his Sunday interview with 60 Minutes, president-elect Donald Trump revealed that he has arranged to be sworn into the White House on January 20 on a copy of Playboy Magazine, rather than the traditional Bible as most past presidents have done.

Sources were able to confirm that he plans to use the March 1990 issue of the magazine, with Trump himself of the cover, on which he will swear while delivering the sacred oath of office to the nation.

“Tremendous magazine, Playboy. The best magazine. It’s got beautiful women in it. I love beautiful women,” President-elect Trump told reporter Leslie Stahl in the interview.

“The Bible—look, we all know I love the Bible, but to be honest with you, it’s a little boring. No pictures. It talks about women, some, but no pictures,” Trump continued. He further stated that the raunchy pornographic magazine lined up more closely with his values than the Bible, which “has some real nasty things to say about me.”

White House transitional teams confirmed the news, and further stated Trump’s inauguration will include an open bar, craps tables, and go-go dancers.

[Cyber Liberty]

...Hyundai Health + Mobility Cockpit

The Korean car manufacturer’s experiment would have the car checking your physical state with various biometric data so it can adjust your environment appropriately. For example, it could play appropriate music—acoustic folk might encourage you to drive slowly in a neighborhood—and fill the cabin with such scents as a calming lavender....
https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/the-weirdest-tech-we-saw-at-ces-2017-150521802.html

Crazy stuff.

I've seen people driving during my morning commute I'd like to fill their cars with the smell of Carbon Monoxide.  Strangely enough, they're usually driving Hyundais about 10 MPH under the speed limit.

[Sanguine]

...

...Hyundai Health + Mobility Cockpit

The Korean car manufacturer’s experiment would have the car checking your physical state with various biometric data so it can adjust your environment appropriately. For example, it could play appropriate music—acoustic folk might encourage you to drive slowly in a neighborhood—and fill the cabin with such scents as a calming lavender....
https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/the-weirdest-tech-we-saw-at-ces-2017-150521802.html

Crazy stuff.

I bet after a while, you would smell lavender and automatically get angry, in a backwards pavlovian.

[TomSea]

Man thrown in jail over kitty litter after cops mistook it for meth
http://www.newstarget.com/2017-01-13-man-thrown-in-jail-over-kitty-litter-after-cops-had-mistaken-it-for-meth.html

Sounds like fake news, hoax news but it is sourced.

[TomSea]

Here is an interesting story, Lebanon, a small country like Israel has a trash problem, there is a dump near the airport, sea gulls are very much in the area near the dump, this represents a risk to the planes flying in and out; so now hunters have gone after them. Now, some groups are saying this hunting is illegal. That is the scenario.

Report: Birds Threatening Flights Safety, Hunted Down
by Naharnet Newsdesk

Following the latest warnings that flights in and out of Lebanon's Beirut airport are at risk because of the large number of birds flying over a nearby garbage dump, reports said Saturday that hunters are shooting down the seagulls which angered environmentalist movements in Lebanon.

A Lebanese environmental movement condemned in a statement on Saturday what it described as the “extermination of seagulls."

It said hunters are shooting down the birds near the Costa Brava landill, adding that Lebanon is violating the Agreement on Conservation of African-Eurasian Migratory waterbirds, LBCI reported Saturday.

Read More At: http://www.naharnet.com/stories/en/223753-report-birds-threatening-flights-safety-hunted-down

[Cyber Liberty]

Here is an interesting story, Lebanon, a small country like Israel has a trash problem, there is a dump near the airport, sea gulls are very much in the area near the dump, this represents a risk to the planes flying in and out; so now hunters have gone after them. Now, some groups are saying this hunting is illegal. That is the scenario.

A Lebanese environmental movement condemned in a statement on Saturday what it described as the “extermination of seagulls."

Lebanon has an environmental movement?  Who knew?

[EasyAce]

@Wingnut  @Smokin Joe

Did ya hear what happened to Maybelline, Wingy?

Max Factor.

I thought she was driving a Coupe de Ville while I was motivatin' over the hill.

-Chuck Berry.

[corbe]

[Wingnut]

I thought she was driving a Coupe de Ville while I was motivatin' over the hill.

-Chuck Berry.

 

[TomSea]

Oklahoma City Firefighters rescue cow trapped in a swimming pool:

http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Oklahoma-City-firefighters-rescue-cow-stuck-in-10860122.php

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Man thrown in jail over kitty litter after cops mistook it for meth
http://www.newstarget.com/2017-01-13-man-thrown-in-jail-over-kitty-litter-after-cops-had-mistaken-it-for-meth.html

Sounds like fake news, hoax news but it is sourced.

That was hilarious. They got the guy on pot charges anyways, so I don't even have to feel bad about the mistake. Just good clean wholesome fun. 

BTW: Love the new ATSF Avatar.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Chiefs fans were so sad after playoff loss they left their grills in the parking lot
Arrowhead Stadium became a hellscape.
by Molly Podlesny@mollypodlesny  Jan 16, 2017, 9:42am EST
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2017/1/16/14280348/chiefs-lose-to-steelers-sad-fans-leave-grills-in-arrowhead-stadium?yptr=yahoo

Imagine feeling so defeated by a football game you’ll do anything to get out of the stadium as fast as you can.

When your team loses in the playoffs and you just say the hell with it & leave the Weber in the parking lot. #chiefs pic.twitter.com/sFSGGtrTUb

— David Eulitt (@davidphotokc) January 16, 2017
That’s how some Chiefs fans felt after Sunday’s loss to the Steelers in the Divisional round of the playoffs....
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2017/1/16/14280348/chiefs-lose-to-steelers-sad-fans-leave-grills-in-arrowhead-stadium?yptr=yahoo

[Cyber Liberty]

Chiefs fans were so sad after playoff loss they left their grills in the parking lot
Arrowhead Stadium became a hellscape.
by Molly Podlesny@mollypodlesny  Jan 16, 2017, 9:42am EST
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2017/1/16/14280348/chiefs-lose-to-steelers-sad-fans-leave-grills-in-arrowhead-stadium?yptr=yahoo

Imagine feeling so defeated by a football game you’ll do anything to get out of the stadium as fast as you can.

When your team loses in the playoffs and you just say the hell with it & leave the Weber in the parking lot. #chiefs pic.twitter.com/sFSGGtrTUb

— David Eulitt (@davidphotokc) January 16, 2017
That’s how some Chiefs fans felt after Sunday’s loss to the Steelers in the Divisional round of the playoffs....
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2017/1/16/14280348/chiefs-lose-to-steelers-sad-fans-leave-grills-in-arrowhead-stadium?yptr=yahoo

Must have been Hillary Clinton supporters in disguise.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Must have been Hillary Clinton supporters in disguise.

Could be. Sounds like the Occupy movement. Black Grills Matter!

[Cyber Liberty]

Could be. Sounds like the Occupy movement. Black Grills Matter!

All things considered, the price of a Weber grill is peanuts compared to what the owner of the grill had to fork over for playoff tix.  Not sure I'd take it myself, even if my team won.  I'd never take a non-disposable grill to a tailgater, anyway.  It's silly.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

All things considered, the price of a Weber grill is peanuts compared to what the owner of the grill had to fork over for playoff tix.  Not sure I'd take it myself, even if my team won.  I'd never take a non-disposable grill to a tailgater, anyway.  It's silly.

Sorry, I'm to redneck to even be close to comprehending "disposable grill". 

[Sanguine]

I thought from the headline they meant those teeth things:

[Cyber Liberty]

Sorry, I'm to redneck to even be close to comprehending "disposable grill". 

I guess I'm really "out there."  I decline to classify a Weber as a "grill."  It's a "Briquet Bucket."

[Cyber Liberty]

I thought from the headline they meant those teeth things:

 

[Bigun]

I thought from the headline they meant those teeth things:

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Smokin Joe]

Sorry, I'm to redneck to even be close to comprehending "disposable grill". 

That's when you pick up the grate and fill in the hole after you are done grilling, I reckon.

A couple of kids with a pickup could have backyard parties all summer just driving the lot and picking those up...

[jmyrlefuller]

Fun fact: Skittles contain gelatin, which is made from cow carcasses.

Keep that in mind when you read this story:

http://wbay.com/2017/01/18/skittle-spill-has-dodge-county-deputies-tasting-the-rainbow/

[bigheadfred]

Fun fact: Skittles contain gelatin, which is made from cow carcasses.

Keep that in mind when you read this story:

http://wbay.com/2017/01/18/skittle-spill-has-dodge-county-deputies-tasting-the-rainbow/

Reincarnation.

[Cyber Liberty]

Reincarnation.

I was thinking more along the lines of "Mad Cow Disease."  This is how it spreads.   

[Idaho_Cowboy]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Mad Cow Disease."  This is how it spreads.   

Shouldn't the cooking process to make the skittles kill it?

[Cyber Liberty]

Shouldn't the cooking process to make the skittles kill it?

No.  Burning doesn't kill it.  It's not a life form as you and I know it.

[bigheadfred]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Mad Cow Disease."  This is how it spreads.   

I thought that was from bone meal.

[Cyber Liberty]

I thought that was from bone meal.

What's the difference?

[Sanguine]

Reincarnation.

Reincownation.

[Sanguine]

No.  Burning doesn't kill it.  It's not a life form as you and I know it.

Yeah, those prions are weird little critters.

[bigheadfred]

What's the difference?

The way the are processed. I'm reading that the rules are stringent now so there may be no difference. But they were feeding contaminated bone meal to cows. The two studies I just scanned were done in the late 90's. And I read an article on recalled candy for fear it was contaminated with BSE-infected gelatin. The Germans said the gelatin was certified clean. The two studies said there wasn't enough evidence to prove the way gelatin was processed would disinfect it. They also said most processors won't take any spines, brains, or ocular parts.

Hope that helps.

[bigheadfred]

Yeah, those prions are weird little critters.

Sounds like they will do what it takes to bring you into their fold.

[Cyber Liberty]

The way the are processed. I'm reading that the rules are stringent now so there may be no difference. But they were feeding contaminated bone meal to cows. The two studies I just scanned were done in the late 90's. And I read an article on recalled candy for fear it was contaminated with BSE-infected gelatin. The Germans said the gelatin was certified clean. The two studies said there wasn't enough evidence to prove the way gelatin was processed would disinfect it. They also said most processors won't take any spines, brains, or ocular parts.

Hope that helps.

It doesn't.  I'm now convinced that if I eat Skittles my unit is going to turn black and fall off, right before my brain turns into cheese.

This is how quack rumors start.

[bigheadfred]

It doesn't.  I'm now convinced that if I eat Skittles my unit is going to turn black and fall off, right before my brain turns into cheese.

This is how quack rumors start.

I wouldn't be much worried about the eating of Skittles, but more worried about eating the cows that are eating Skittles. Which may be more cows than you know. Besides, gelatin is in so many products. Maybe you should be more worried about bad leg makeup...

Since we are on the subject, I wonder what is in trump's tan?  Just what is soaking into his brain?

[Smokin Joe]

Sounds like they will do what it takes to bring you into their fold.

Yep. They're pretty twisted.

[Smokin Joe]

I wouldn't be much worried about the eating of Skittles, but more worried about eating the cows that are eating Skittles. Which may be more cows than you know. Besides, gelatin is in so many products. Maybe you should be more worried about bad leg makeup...

Since we are on the subject, I wonder what is in trump's tan?  Just what is soaking into his brain?

When we were in chem lab, one of the (clumsier) students ended up wearing a little nitric acid. That'll turn you orange in light doses. If it's strong, that's a different story. Tannic Acid will do the same thing, without as much corrosion.