Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 781576 times)

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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #100 on: March 23, 2016, 11:24:56 am »
We can shoot your wife and frame your mother-in-law. If you want we can hang them too!


Funny ad Banned by the PC Poilice.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3504544/Joke-slogan-shooting-wife-banned.html

Quote
It was intended to be a light-hearted joke about marriage and mothers-in-law.  But an Australian picture frame service's slogan stating 'We can shoot your wife and frame your mother-in-law. If you want we can hang them too' has been banned.

The Advertising Standards Bureau ruled that Fantastic Framing's advert was 'not funny' and breached standards because of the way it portrayed violence.

A number of complaints were made about the Sydney-based service by people who found the advert 'sexist and violent'.

But Fantastic Framing said they were 'surprised' about the backlash because so many of their customers had said it was 'funny' and 'smart'. 'We are very surprised to get this email but more than happy to help and explain it,' the service said, according to documents.

'The reaction we get from our customers that it is very funny and it is relating to marriage and picture frames. Lots of people came to us and said 'Funny we like it ... very smart.

'There is no bad intention for this advertising it is purely a joke which relate to marriage and picture frames.'

The advertising bureau noted that the slogan was 'clearly intended to be a humorous play on words'.

But it found that the 'intended humour has worn off' because of the high level of community concern about violence towards women.

'The majority of the Board acknowledged that the advertiser's intent was to inject humour in to their advertising but considered that making a joke about using a gun or hanging a person would not be found funny by most members of the community,' the ruling stated.

Comedian Austen Tayshus told the Daily Telegraph that it was political correctness gone mad.

'Whenever you use irony, satire, anything like that, you always depend on whether people have the capacity to understand that. Unfortunately people are stupid,' he said.

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #101 on: March 24, 2016, 09:48:18 pm »
Man Arrested For Not Returning Rented VHS

A man has revealed he was arrested while taking his daughter to school after failing to return a VHS movie he rented in 2001.

James Meyers, 37, posted a video on his YouTube channel describing the moment he was pulled over on Tuesday in Concord, North Carolina, for a broken taillight.

But after officers ran his licence he was asked to step out of the vehicle and informed there was a warrant for his arrest from 2002 for not returning the movie Freddy Got Fingered to a rental store in Kannapolis.
FILE PHOTO OF TOM GREEN AND DREW BARRYMORE.

Tom Green, pictured in 2001, was married briefly to Drew Barrymore

Meyers said he initially thought the officer was joking.

He was allowed to drop his daughter off at school and go to work after agreeing to turn himself in to police later that day, but was then arrested.

He said: “The officer said “I don”t know how to tell you this but there”s a warrant out for your arrest from 2002. Apparently you rented the movie Freddy Got Fingered and never returned it”.”

The rental store has since closed, but Meyers has been given a court date of 27 April. He could face a fine of up to $200 if convicted.

Tom Green, who starred in and wrote Freddy Got Fingered, said he would help out Meyers financially.

The 44-year-old comedian offered to help after one of Meyers” friends shared his story on Twitter.

He told the New York Daily News: “If it”s 200 bucks of course I”ll pay it for him, just for the principle of the thing.”

https://reportuk.org/2016/03/24/man-arrested-for-not-returning-rented-vhs/
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #102 on: March 25, 2016, 12:37:13 am »
The law is an ass.
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #103 on: March 26, 2016, 12:43:30 am »
Speaking of asses ....

Miss BumBum model whose implants “rotted” now performs exorcisms after finding God

Andressa Urach fell into a septic-shock induced coma last year as her thigh fillers began to rot.

And it appears the life-threatening experience has enlightened the 29-year-old Brazilian babe.

The former model has ditched her raunchy antics for exorcisms, hopes of being an African missionary and the word of God.

Andressa shot to fame after coming second on the popular TV Competition Miss BumBum – showcasing the nation”s best bottoms.

She then famously appeared stark naked outside the Portuguese football team”s hotel during the World Cup, with her body painted in the colours of Cristiano Ronaldo”s team shirt.

The buxom babe is even alleged to have had a fling with the Real Madrid ace.

The former model said: “I never believed in God, I was full of anger, of my mother, my father, my abuser.

“For many years I wanted to kill him, I wanted revenge.”

She adds: “I sold my body for seven years. I once slept with seven men in one day.

“All I wanted was money, the good life. But I started to love money and would do anything to get it.

“I liked to feel the wads of notes in my hands. It was an addiction and I”d lost any notion of limits.”

But Andressa said she has now swapped selfies for salvation as she devotes herself to God.

She told the Mail: “I”ve asked forgiveness from all of the people I ever wronged.

“I”ve forgiven my abuser and all those I hated. And the most difficult thing of all, I”ve managed to forgive myself.

“I don”t care anymore what the world thinks of me. I know that God loves me.”

She now performs exorcisms on female inmates seeking redemption.

And the Celebrity preacher has dreams of becoming a missionary in Africa.

She revealed: “If God calls me to be a missionary, here I am.

“I have everything, luxury, comfort, a Porsche, but my pleasure now lies in helping others.

“I would give it all up to go and do God”s work, I would love to go to Africa.”

Andressa also aims to convert celebrities to the word of God – starting with Cristiano Ronaldo.

She said: ”I would like him to read my book, I think it would touch his heart and maybe he would come to forgive me too.

“My prayer is that he comes to know God like I do.”

https://reportuk.org/2016/03/26/miss-bumbum-model-whose-implants-rotted-now-performs-exorcisms-after-finding-god/
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #104 on: March 26, 2016, 06:45:10 pm »
Orgy being held in Kent village to raise money for charity

There are plenty of ways to raise money for good causes.

Traditionally, people have gone for cake sales, coffee mornings, or – if they’re feeling more energetic – running a marathon.

But one club has thought of a novel, and energetic, way of raising cash for Macmillan Cancer Support.

The Sun reports that the Eureka club, in Kent, is holding a giant orgy.

Yes, you read that right.

The club will charge £25 entry to the event, with £5 from each fee going to the good cause.

It’s an intriguing way of helping charity (Picture: Getty)

The private estate, which holds regular fetish nights,  is based in Fawkham in Kent.

Its fundraising event is being held on the May 29 Bank Holiday weekend, and is open to couples and singles.

If the orgy isn’t enough to get you reaching for your wallet, it will feature a live band as well.

https://reportuk.org/2016/03/26/orgy-being-held-in-kent-village-to-raise-money-for-charity/

I love my country sometimes.  :beer:
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #105 on: March 26, 2016, 10:14:04 pm »
Well hell, a live band? Now we're talkin'!

 :silly:
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #106 on: March 31, 2016, 09:31:14 pm »
Man jailed for sending exgirlfriend a gun emoji

A man has been jailed for sending a gun emoji to his ex-girlfriend.

Bilal Azougagh, 22, was sentenced to six months (with three months suspended) in prison for sending her the emoji.

The small gun icon which accompanied a text message which was perceived as a ‘death threat in the form of an image’ by a court in Valence, France.

Azougagh, of Pierelatte, admitted sending the message containing the gun emoji in the summer of 2015.

https://reportuk.org/2016/03/31/man-jailed-for-sending-exgirlfriend-a-gun-emoji/
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #107 on: April 04, 2016, 02:15:24 am »
A penis line-up? That's beyond ridiculous, that's bizarre.

How would you tell which ones were lawyers?


Oh, neckties...
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Bill Cipher

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #108 on: April 06, 2016, 11:21:46 pm »
How would you tell which ones were lawyers?


Oh, neckties...


:bigsilly:

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #109 on: April 24, 2016, 10:26:36 pm »
Florida man catches 400-pound Goliath grouper using a wrench

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-man-catches-400-pound-goliath-grouper-wrench-article-1.2613055

A number-11 wrench proved to be more useful for fishing than as an actual tool.

On a fishing trip, Ryan Hein in St. Petersburg wrangled a 400-pound Goliath grouper using the tiny wrench as a lure, without any fancy equipment.

“I was just looking for a way to make a jig without spending so much money,” Hein told WFTS.

Ryan Hein of St. Petersburg, Florida shows how he caught a 400-pound Goliath grouper using a number 11 wrench as a lure.

So instead of spending up to $20 for the bait, he rigged together the wrench with two hooks for his fishing rod.

Hein said he’s never used the wrench, as most mechanics find the tool useless.

Ryan Hein said he originally made the wrench-lure because he did not want to spend too much money on a jig.

30 miles off shore, the number-11 wrench found another role after it attracted and hooked the massive Goliath grouper.

“I knew it was a big fish immediately,” Hein told the local station. “I had no control, just holding on while the fish just went wherever it wanted to go.”

He reeled in the monster-sized fish and took a photo with it before releasing it back into the water, since Goliath groupers are illegal to harvest, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s laws.

The wrench ended up helping Hein catch several more fish before it was eventually lost.

Finding a new purpose for his previously obsolete wrench inspired Hein to throw together another makeshift lure, this time with a larger number-14 wrench.

He’s also planning to make more lures using forks and butter-knives.

---

Hellz yeah! Git-r-done! 'Merica!
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Offline sinkspur

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #110 on: April 24, 2016, 10:31:06 pm »
http://laughingsquid.com/how-the-popular-expression-elvis-has-left-the-building-originally-came-about/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=G-File%2004222016&utm_term=GFile

How the Popular Expression ‘Elvis Has Left the Building’ Originally Came About

by Lori Dorn at 11:33 am on April 12, 2016

In the latest episode of the fascinating series Today I Found Out, host Simon Whistler explains how the term “Elvis has left the building” came about and why it became so incredibly popular. Using information from a post by Eddie Deezen, Whistler also explained who originally coined the term (Horace Logan) and who made it popular (Al Dvorin).

In an attempt to stop people leaving, and let everyone know there would be no chance of seeing Elvis outside, announcer Horace “Hoss” Logan said “All right, all right, Elvis has left the building. I’ve told you absolutely straight up to this point. You know that. He has left the building. He left the stage and went out the back with the policeman and he is now gone… Please take your seats”… It wasn’t until 1972 that it really hit the mainstream thanks to Elvis’ Madison Square Garden concert, which resulted in the album Elvis as Recorded at Madison Square Garden. The album peaked at #11 on the Billboard charts and has sold well over 3 million copies to date. Most pertinent to this article, the record includes an “End Theme” track where you can hear Dvorin stating “Elvis has left the building. Thank you and good night,” exposing many who’d never gone to an Elvis concert to this little catch-phrase.
Roy Moore's "spiritual warfare" is driving past a junior high without stopping.

geronl

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #111 on: April 24, 2016, 11:54:37 pm »
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/04/15/michigan-couple-threatened-with-jail-time-for-overdue-library-books.html

AKA: County government trying to gouge couple over a Dr Seuss book


Michigan couple threatened with jail time for overdue library books


Published April 15, 2016 Associated Press
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TECUMSEH, Mich. –   A judge told a Michigan couple they could land in jail for up to 93 days and face a maximum $500 fine for failing to return a novel and a Dr. Seuss book borrowed from the local public library.

Cathy and Melvin Duren appeared in Lenawee County court on Thursday to each face a misdemeanor charge of failure to return rental property. They owe about $35 in late fees for "The Rome Prophecy," borrowed in April, 2015. They lost a Dr. Seuss book their teenage son borrowed for their granddaughter in July, 2014.

"I can't image going to jail over it, but I certainly will fight these charges because I'm not guilty," Cathy Duren said.

Although the couple admitted they were negligent in returning the books, they think it's unfair to each be charged a $105 "diversion fee" to the Lenawee County Economic Crimes Unit in addition to fines owed to the Tecumseh Public Library, WXYZ-TV reported.

In December, the Durens received a letter advising them to return the books and pay the fees, as well as the replacement costs if they couldn't find the books. The letter also informed them that they could be charged with a crime.

In January, the couple was able to find and return "The Rome Prophecy," but they couldn't locate the Dr. Seuss book.

Cathy Duren sent a $55 money order to the prosecutor's office to cover the late fees and replacement costs for the lost book. But Cathy Duren said her money order was refused because she and her husband declined to pay the additional $210 in diversion fees to the Lenawee County prosecutor's crime unit.

Cathy Duren said she feels that she's being extorted by the prosecutor's office.

The Durens had to pay $100 bond to avoid going to jail last Friday when they were served with arrest warrants.

The couple said they probably will never check out a library book again.

Offline uglybiker

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #112 on: April 25, 2016, 01:58:59 am »
https://www.rt.com/usa/337987-cia-explosives-school-bus/


CIA leaves explosives on school bus borrowed for training



For at least two days a school bus in northern Virginia has been carrying students with explosive material hidden in its engine compartment. The explosives fell out of a container, which was used by the CIA for training last week.
“During the exercise, explosive training material was inadvertently left by the CIA K-9 unit in one of the buses used in the exercise,” the CIA said in a statement. The agency attested that the explosives were "incredibly stable" and “benign” and didn’t put anyone in danger.

The explosive was discovered on Wednesday during a routine maintenance check. It had been unnoticed for nearly a week since March 24.

More at link.
nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BATMAN!!!

Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #113 on: April 28, 2016, 11:16:48 am »
Royal Mail may ban deliveries over 'mail snatching' cat
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-36157538

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #114 on: May 03, 2016, 02:00:22 am »
NYC hospital probed after patient catches fire during surgery

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/05/02/hospital-probed-after-patient-catches-fire-during-surgery.html

Published May 02, 2016 New York Post

State investigators slammed NYU Langone Medical Center for lapses in safety procedures and communications that resulted in an operating-room fire while a patient was undergoing surgery, The Post has learned.

Probers cited a “communications failure between the surgeon and anesthesiologist,” who wasn’t aware a certain instrument would be used “in the presence of oxygen,” according to the state Health Department’s report on the 2014 blaze which was obtained by The Post under a Freedom of Information Law request.

“It was evident that the hospital failed to provide surgical services that conformed to current standards of practice,” the report said.

It found that NYU Langone was “not in substantial compliance” with federal regulations governing surgery and anesthesia.

The DOH inspected the hospital and declared an “immediate jeopardy situation” on Dec. 30, 2014, because of the lapses.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2016, 02:04:50 am by Free Vulcan »
The Republic is lost.

Offline Frank Cannon

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #115 on: May 03, 2016, 02:12:15 am »
Man Arrested For Not Returning Rented VHS

A man has revealed he was arrested while taking his daughter to school after failing to return a VHS movie he rented in 2001.

James Meyers, 37, posted a video on his YouTube channel describing the moment he was pulled over on Tuesday in Concord, North Carolina, for a broken taillight.

But after officers ran his licence he was asked to step out of the vehicle and informed there was a warrant for his arrest from 2002 for not returning the movie Freddy Got Fingered to a rental store in Kannapolis.
FILE PHOTO OF TOM GREEN AND DREW BARRYMORE.

Tom Green, pictured in 2001, was married briefly to Drew Barrymore

Meyers said he initially thought the officer was joking.

He was allowed to drop his daughter off at school and go to work after agreeing to turn himself in to police later that day, but was then arrested.

He said: “The officer said “I don”t know how to tell you this but there”s a warrant out for your arrest from 2002. Apparently you rented the movie Freddy Got Fingered and never returned it”.”

The rental store has since closed, but Meyers has been given a court date of 27 April. He could face a fine of up to $200 if convicted.

Tom Green, who starred in and wrote Freddy Got Fingered, said he would help out Meyers financially.

The 44-year-old comedian offered to help after one of Meyers” friends shared his story on Twitter.

He told the New York Daily News: “If it”s 200 bucks of course I”ll pay it for him, just for the principle of the thing.”

https://reportuk.org/2016/03/24/man-arrested-for-not-returning-rented-vhs/

Outrageous! Tom Greene is the one who should be arrested for making that piece of garbage.


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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #116 on: May 03, 2016, 02:16:55 am »
Australia hoping herpes will control carp population

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2016/05/02/australia-hoping-herpes-will-control-carp-population.html

The Australian government is giving carp herpes.

Science Minister Christopher Pyne called the plan to eradicate about 95 percent of European carp in the country’s river system “carp-aggedon,” ABC reported.

“It affects the European carp by attacking their kidneys, their skin, their gills and stopping them breathing effectively,” Pyne said. ‘They have the virus for a week before they show any symptoms and it suddenly kills them within 24 hours.”..
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #117 on: May 03, 2016, 05:24:24 am »
Australia hoping herpes will control carp population

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2016/05/02/australia-hoping-herpes-will-control-carp-population.html

The Australian government is giving carp herpes.

Science Minister Christopher Pyne called the plan to eradicate about 95 percent of European carp in the country’s river system “carp-aggedon,” ABC reported.

“It affects the European carp by attacking their kidneys, their skin, their gills and stopping them breathing effectively,” Pyne said. ‘They have the virus for a week before they show any symptoms and it suddenly kills them within 24 hours.”..
I'm not going to ask how they are giving carp herpes. Nope, nope, nope :nometalk:
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline Hoodat

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #118 on: May 05, 2016, 01:33:11 pm »
The patient, known only by his surname of Yan, said he had tried to remove his piles with the knife in his dorm when the blade got caught in his rectum, reportedPeople's Daily Online

Rectum?  Damn near killed 'em!
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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #119 on: May 05, 2016, 02:50:40 pm »
Rectum?  Damn near killed 'em!


That is a great old joke Punch Line!  :beer:

Offline andy58-in-nh

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #120 on: May 05, 2016, 04:15:42 pm »
Quote from: EC on October 08, 2015, 11:05:23 AM
The patient, known only by his surname of Yan, said he had tried to remove his piles with the knife in his dorm when the blade got caught in his rectum, reportedPeople's Daily Online
Quote from: Hoodat on Today at 01:33:11 PM
        Rectum?  Damn near killed 'em!

Confucius say: Man who try to remove hemorrhoids with knife not too sharp.
"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #121 on: May 11, 2016, 11:11:43 pm »
http://www.voanews.com/media/photogallery/may-11-2016-day-in-photos/3326074.html

May 11th photos of the day, rather than post them since they are so big;

Caption of one: "Indian father Mohinder Singh Gill, 79, and his wife Daljinder Kaur, 70, hold their newborn baby boy, Arman, at their home in Amritsar. Daljinder Kaur gave birth to a boy last month following two years of IVF treatment with her husband at a fertility clinic in the northern state of Haryana. "

Last photo on page: "

Indian activists from the right-wing organization Hindu Sena perform Hindu fire rituals in support of U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, in New Delhi. "

Well, maybe that last photo is worth posting.


Note, how they put the red dot (I don't know the name) on his forehead?

Full link to today's photos of the day: http://www.voanews.com/media/photogallery/may-11-2016-day-in-photos/3326074.html
« Last Edit: May 11, 2016, 11:12:55 pm by TomSea »

geronl

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #122 on: May 12, 2016, 02:23:22 am »

That is a great old joke Punch Line!  :beer:

BRD!

"Bloody Rectum Debris"

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #123 on: May 14, 2016, 11:14:01 pm »
Two Dead After Cemetery Brawl in Moscow

MOSCOW (AP) — A violent brawl Saturday at a Moscow cemetery involving about 200 people in an apparent turf war left three people dead and 23 others hospitalized, police and health officials said.

Those in the brawl fired guns and used shovels, shovel handles, steel bars and baseball bats against their opponents, Russian news reports said.

Two of those who died were hit by a car driven by someone trying to flee the scene, Moscow police spokeswoman Sofia Khotina told the Interfax news agency. She said the three people in the car, who were armed with pistols, were among more than 50 people detained by police.

The city health department said another person also was killed and four of the 23 hospitalized were in serious condition.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/3f0ad3d070144d939ea0a066f1cec6ca/moscow-cemetery-brawl-leaves-2-dead-10-wounded
The Republic is lost.

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #124 on: May 14, 2016, 11:42:25 pm »
Russian voter registration is rough.
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Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #125 on: May 14, 2016, 11:46:43 pm »
Two Dead After Cemetery Brawl in Moscow

MOSCOW (AP) — A violent brawl Saturday at a Moscow cemetery involving about 200 people in an apparent turf war left three people dead and 23 others hospitalized, police and health officials said.

Those in the brawl fired guns and used shovels, shovel handles, steel bars and baseball bats against their opponents, Russian news reports said.

Two of those who died were hit by a car driven by someone trying to flee the scene, Moscow police spokeswoman Sofia Khotina told the Interfax news agency. She said the three people in the car, who were armed with pistols, were among more than 50 people detained by police.

The city health department said another person also was killed and four of the 23 hospitalized were in serious condition.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/3f0ad3d070144d939ea0a066f1cec6ca/moscow-cemetery-brawl-leaves-2-dead-10-wounded

Yes, I heard about this. Up to 3 dead now.

Quote
http://www.rferl.org/content/moscow-cemetery-brawl-deaths/27734745.html

Ethnic Chechens, Daghestanis, Uzbeks, and Tajiks were reportedly among those detained.

Based on reporting by Reuters, AFP, TASS, and the BBC

So, this clarifies who was probably fighting as the article I read said "ethnic groups" but still this happened near Moscow.


geronl

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #126 on: May 16, 2016, 12:17:03 am »

Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From a Bus But Accidentally Suck Out Sewage

http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/


Read More: Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From Bus Accidentally Suck Out Sewage | http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/?trackback=tsmclip


Quote
A few fellas in Australia recently learned a lesson on why you should watch what you put in your mouth.

Some thieves really needed a little gasoline in their lives so they decided to attempt to siphon it from a tour bus. They snuck up to the bus in the middle of the night, stuck a hose in the tank, and got to sucking.

There was one big problem. They put the hose in the wrong place. So instead of siphoning gas, yep, they were siphoning from the sewage tank!

An investigating police sergeant said, “We can infer they [made] a very hasty retreat, with a somewhat bitter taste in their mouth.”


Read More: Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From Bus Accidentally Suck Out Sewage | http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/?trackback=tsmclip

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #127 on: May 16, 2016, 08:14:16 am »
Lawsuit seeks to ban balloon releases at University of Nebraska football games

Quote
An activist in Omaha is asking a federal court to ban balloon releases at University of Nebraska football games, the latest skirmish in a nationwide battle over whether the soaring spectacles exact a heavy toll on the environment.

Randall Krause filed suit in the state’s federal court alleging the release of thousands of bright red balloons by Cornhusker fans following the first touchdown of home games violates national environmental laws. He likens the balloons to flying garbage that endangers wildlife and even children when they eventually fall to the earth.

“The mass balloon releases during football games at Memorial Stadium result in the open dumping of solid waste,” Mr. Krause alleged in a 14-page suit filed Monday.

The university, which has been releasing thousands of balloons at home games since the 1940s, doesn’t comment on pending legislation, said Steve Smith, spokesman for the school.

“It is, however, worth noting that every balloon released in Memorial Stadium is natural latex biodegradable, and they are tied off with 100% cotton strings,” Mr. Smith said in a statement.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/05/16/lawsuit-seeks-to-ban-balloon-releases-at-university-nebraska-football-games.html?intcmp=hpbt3

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #128 on: May 16, 2016, 09:41:21 am »
Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From a Bus But Accidentally Suck Out Sewage

http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/


Read More: Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From Bus Accidentally Suck Out Sewage | http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/?trackback=tsmclip

Bunch of "potty mouths"

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #129 on: May 16, 2016, 11:33:17 am »
Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From a Bus But Accidentally Suck Out Sewage

http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/


Read More: Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From Bus Accidentally Suck Out Sewage | http://973thedawg.com/thieves-attempt-to-siphon-gas-from-a-bus-but-accidentally-suck-out-sewage/?trackback=tsmclip

Instant poetic justice.
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #130 on: May 16, 2016, 11:40:11 am »
Instant poetic justice.

"No tank too big, no tank too small, teacup or cesspool, we suck 'em all."

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #131 on: May 17, 2016, 05:53:27 am »
Lawsuit seeks to ban balloon releases at University of Nebraska football games

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/05/16/lawsuit-seeks-to-ban-balloon-releases-at-university-nebraska-football-games.html?intcmp=hpbt3
It's a string, less rubber than a condom, and no special sauce. Just because they will be dispersed more widely than the local 'inspiration point', doesn't make them deadly. Exactly what data do they have to show any harm?
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #132 on: May 18, 2016, 10:59:39 pm »
Strange news; not ridiculous and I am sorry for the death involved. I don't think this quite merits a separate thread under national news though with such pressing problems.

Quote
Jelly Belly family sued over man crushed by WWII tank

The Jelly Belly family is being sued over the death of a man crushed by a WWII tank at the chairman's home in August. The tragedy occurred at a family reunion at the California home of Herman Rowland Sr., chair of the candy company's board and an avid collector of old military vehicles.

Rowland's son-in-law, Dwayne Brasher, husband of Jelly Belly CEO Lisa Brasher, was driving one of those vehicles, the aforementioned 1944 M5 tank. While he was driving Kevin Wright around, Wright was tossed from the tank and into its path.

Now, Wright's father (who was living with and being taken care of by Wright at the time of his death) and two adult daughters (whose mother died in 2009) are suing Rowland and his son-in-law, the Daily Beast reports.

More: http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016/05/18/jelly-belly-family-sued-over-man-crushed-by-wwii-tank/

Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #133 on: May 18, 2016, 11:06:04 pm »
Now, this is ridiculous!
Quote
Colorado babysitter held in drive-through bank robbery with kids in car

May 16 A Colorado babysitter has been arrested on suspicion of robbing a drive-through bank by falsely claiming that a man in her vehicle threatened to harm the two children in her care unless given money, police said on Monday.

According to the Greeley Tribune, Einspahr planned to rob the bank to pay back $15,000 under a possible plea agreement in previous theft cases. She remained behind bars Tuesday, according to Weld County Jail records. The sheriff's office says there was never actually a man in the SUV, and it's unclear who the second person detained was. As a result, Einspahr has been charged with two counts of child abuse as well.

According to the Coloradoan, Einspahr wrote a note demanding $500 and sent it through the drive-thru tube to the teller. Soon after the robbery took place, police found the white SUV she drove parked in front of a house. Although the children, whose ages were not disclosed, were not harmed, she was also charged with two counts of child abuse.

 http://bilbaoya.com/2016/05/18/colorado-babysitter-held-in-drive-through-bank-robbery-with.html

Okay, so the extenuating circumstances are that a man was threatening to hurt the 2 children in the car, maybe not as odd as just looking at the headline.

Basque news website but they must have some news feed just like there is a decent Italian news website that does it.






http://bilbaoya.com/2016/05/18/colorado-babysitter-held-in-drive-through-bank-robbery-with.html

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #134 on: May 19, 2016, 01:08:56 pm »
GOP Lawmaker Proposes The State Of Louisiana Regulate Strippers' Weight.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/kenneth-havard-louisiana-regulate-strippers-weight



A Republican lawmaker on Wednesday proposed that a bill raising the minimum age for dancers at strip clubs also allow the state of Louisiana to regulate strippers' weight.

State Rep. Kenneth Havard was discussing the bill, which would raise the minimum age for exotic dancers from 18 to 21, when he also threw out there that he'd like the dancers to remain under 160 pounds, according to The Huffington Post. Havard also suggested the maximum age for a stripper under the law should be 28.
ADVERTISING

Some of Havard's female colleagues quickly criticized his comments.

"I can’t even believe the behavior," state Rep. Julie Stokes told the New Orleans Times-Picayune. "I hear derogatory comments about women, I see women get treated differently than men.”

Havard quickly withdrew his amendment, calling it a "poke at over regulating everything."

“It was aimed at both men and women. I can’t strip either. I’m a little overweight,” Havard told the Times-Picayune.

He did not immediately respond Thursday morning to TPM's request for comment.

The bill raising the minimum age for exotic dancers, which was intended to curb human trafficking, passed the state's House by a vote of 96 to 0.

----

And what if I like big butts and I cannot lie?
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #135 on: May 19, 2016, 01:23:32 pm »
Woman Gets Asked To Leave Gym Because Her Boobs Are Too Large

http://dailycaller.com/2016/05/19/woman-gets-asked-to-leave-gym-because-her-boobs-are-too-large/

A Canadian woman was “humiliated” after she was asked to leave her gym because her boobs were “too large.”
Woman asked to leave gym because her boobs are too big

Jenna Vecchio lives in Ottawa and was working out with her husband over the weekend at the Movati Athletic Club when a gym employee approached her and asked her to leave.

The employee said other gym goers complained that Vecchio “made them feel uncomfortable” because her chest was too big for her shirt.

“I said I can’t help it that my chest may appear larger than some other women’s here because of my small frame, but I can’t do anything about it,” Vecchio said during an interview this week.

-----

I'd say no self-respecting male would file such a complaint, but we are talking Canada here.
The Republic is lost.

Online Smokin Joe

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #136 on: May 19, 2016, 01:45:11 pm »
Woman Gets Asked To Leave Gym Because Her Boobs Are Too Large




“I said I can’t help it that my chest may appear larger than some other women’s here because of my small frame, but I can’t do anything about it,” Vecchio said during an interview this week.

-----

I'd say no self-respecting male would file such a complaint, but we are talking Canada here.

My bet is the complaint came from female patrons of the Gym who were having trouble attracting attention to themselves...
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #137 on: May 19, 2016, 02:20:32 pm »
No all male jury would convict her....

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #138 on: May 26, 2016, 10:42:36 am »
Vegas Judge Handcuffs Public Defender In Court To Teach Her A 'Lesson'

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/conrad-hafen-zohra-baktary-handcuffed-court



A Nevada public defender was handcuffed alongside inmates in jail clothing in court Monday after a judge accused her of interrupting him while she argued on behalf of her client, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported.

In a tense exchange, Las Vegas Judge Conrad Hafen told Zohra Bakhtary, a deputy public defender, to “be quiet” as she made the case for keeping her client, who was appearing on theft charges, out of jail.

“Zohra, be quiet,” the judge cautioned the attorney, according to court transcripts obtained by the Wall Street Journal.

“Judge, you’re asking—” Bakhtary said, but the judge cut her off.

“You’re making—” Bakhtary tried again before Hafen asked if she wanted to be found in contempt of court.

She tried yet again: “Judge, you’re asking—”

“Zohra, be quiet. Now. Not another word,” Hafen shot back.

Bakhtary said, “Judge, you’re—,” before Hafen turned to his marshal and directed him to take the public defender into custody, saying, “Travis, right now. I’m tired of it. Right now.”

Bakhtary said, “Judge, you’re—,” before Hafen turned to his marshal and directed him to take the public defender into custody, saying, “Travis, right now. I’m tired of it. Right now.”

Bakhtary was handcuffed and placed in the jury box, the Review-Journal reported. Her client was ordered to spend six months in jail.

Hafen later asked for her to be released, saying, “I think she’s learned a lesson.”

“You need to have order in a courtroom,” the judge later told the Review-Journal. “And there needs to be proper decorum with attorneys.”

Hafen also said he’s had difficulty with Bakhtary in his courtroom before, but he’s “been trying to work with her.”

“There’s been a progression of steps in the courtroom where I’ve tried to let her know it’s not proper decorum for her to continue to talk over me or interrupt me after she’s already made her argument,” he told the Review-Journal. “Once an argument is made, then you have to allow the judge to respond, so there’s a clear record, and you shouldn’t be interrupting the judge as the judge is making a ruling...Today it just spilled over to where I thought, ‘Well, clearly she’s not understanding what I’m trying to tell her.’”
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #139 on: May 26, 2016, 11:26:10 am »
Meth Burrito? Border Officers Find Woman Carrying $3,000 Of Crystal Wrapped In Tortillas

The U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency released a statement Tuesday announcing the arrest of a woman who was found carrying more than a pound of methamphetamine disguised as a bag of burritos.

According to CBP, officers stopped the 23-year-old Nogales, Ariz., woman at the Morley Pedestrian gate on Friday.

A narcotics canine led them to the hidden contraband, which officers estimated carried a street value of roughly $3,000.

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2016/05/26/border-officers-find-woman-carrying-3000-of-meth-wrapped-in-tortillas/#ixzz49m9wv38d

------

Yo quero Taco Meth?
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #140 on: May 27, 2016, 10:43:40 pm »
Heimlich, 96, uses own maneuver to save life

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/96-dr-henry-heimlich-uses-his-own-technique-first-time-save-someone

He’s demonstrated how to save lives countless times since inventing his technique four decades ago, but Dr. Henry Heimlich had never used his namesake maneuver on someone who was actually choking — until this week.

On Monday evening, when a woman who happened to be sitting next to him in their upscale Cincinnati retirement community choked on a piece of hamburger, 96-year-old Heimlich sprung into action.

“I immediately knew she was choking,” Heimlich told NBC News. “I just realized, I’ve got to go over and save her.”

So the doctor stood up, wrapped his hands around Patty Ris, 87, and began to squeeze her abdomen.

“It worked right away,” the grateful Ris told NBC News.
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #141 on: May 27, 2016, 11:14:39 pm »
WEED BETTER STOP EM: Sheep Eat Cannabis Plants, Create Hilarious Havoc

http://www.mediaite.com/online/weed-better-stop-em-sheep-eat-cannabis-plants-create-hilarious-havoc/

In what the local media described as an “out-of-control” situation, a heard of sheep ransacked remnants of a cannabis factory that had spilled over onto the side of the road.

In Swansea Valley South Wales, the sheep were found creating utter destruction in people’s gardens after ingesting large amounts of the residual marijuana, presumably looking for Doritos or Taco Bell in the process.

“There is already a flock of sheep roaming the village causing a nuisance,” said Swansea Valley Councillor Ioan Richard. He continued, “We could have an outbreak of psychotic sheep rampaging through the village.”

(NOTE TO SELF: MOVIE IDEA)

One of the sheep — and I really hope this is true — reportedly broke into a bungalow and caused a mess in someone’s bedroom...
The Republic is lost.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #142 on: May 31, 2016, 02:25:54 am »
WEED BETTER STOP EM: Sheep Eat Cannabis Plants, Create Hilarious Havoc

http://www.mediaite.com/online/weed-better-stop-em-sheep-eat-cannabis-plants-create-hilarious-havoc/

In what the local media described as an “out-of-control” situation, a heard of sheep ransacked remnants of a cannabis factory that had spilled over onto the side of the road.

In Swansea Valley South Wales, the sheep were found creating utter destruction in people’s gardens after ingesting large amounts of the residual marijuana, presumably looking for Doritos or Taco Bell in the process.

“There is already a flock of sheep roaming the village causing a nuisance,” said Swansea Valley Councillor Ioan Richard. He continued, “We could have an outbreak of psychotic sheep rampaging through the village.”

(NOTE TO SELF: MOVIE IDEA)

One of the sheep — and I really hope this is true — reportedly broke into a bungalow and caused a mess in someone’s bedroom...


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrew1djRCWM[/youtube]
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Offline TomSea

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #143 on: June 01, 2016, 10:47:14 am »
Seattle’s ‘man in tree’ incompetent to stand trial after spending 25 hours in 80-foot sequoia
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/seattle-man-tree-incompetent-stand-trial-article-1.2656861

Slow news days.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #144 on: June 03, 2016, 02:18:17 pm »

Man arrested in Calhan domestic violence shooting 

Man challenges daughter to a “duel”

A man has been arrested after pointing a gun at his daughter and wife during a domestic violence incident Wednesday night, according to a news release from the El Paso County Sheriff’s Department.

Robert Williams told his daughter to get another gun from the house so that the two could “duel,” the release said.

A struggle between the two ensued, and the father’s gun went off. The juvenile daughter fired a round back in his direction. No one was hit or injured.


More at http://www.denverpost.com/2016/06/02/man-arrested-in-calhan-domestic-violence-shooting/
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geronl

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #145 on: June 03, 2016, 02:26:33 pm »

Robert Williams told his daughter to get another gun from the house so that the two could “duel,” the release said.

A struggle between the two ensued, and the father’s gun went off. The juvenile daughter fired a round back in his direction. No one was hit or injured.


This is only okay with super-soakers at ten paces.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #147 on: June 03, 2016, 07:17:06 pm »
5 Months in Jail but had $2 bail

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/queens-man-unaware-2-bail-spends-5-months-rikers-article-1.2656363
Must have been such a pleasant guy they made a point of letting him know. He had three hots and a cot anyway, considering the initial arrest was for stealing a coat...
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

geronl

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #148 on: June 03, 2016, 07:20:11 pm »
Must have been such a pleasant guy they made a point of letting him know. He had three hots and a cot anyway, considering the initial arrest was for stealing a coat...

I bet he'll end up suing the city for $30,000 or something

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #149 on: June 06, 2016, 05:41:01 pm »
When you want to name your daughter Katelyn, decide that's too common, and accidentally name her Kevin instead:

Woman swaps letters for Roman numerals in baby's name

An Australian woman has come up with a unique name for her daughter. You could liken it to a vanity plate for your car, but using Roman numerals.

Instead of Kaitlyn, they replaced the 'ait' with VIII, making it "KVIIIlyn."

http://www.wgrz.com/features/woman-swaps-letters-for-roman-numerals-in-babys-name/234190851
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