Author Topic: Ridiculous News of the Day  (Read 781595 times)

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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2016, 01:40:39 pm »

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #51 on: January 07, 2016, 07:59:33 am »
This one is mainly for the headline.

Israeli Reporter Gets Stabbed While Testing Stab-Proof Vest

An Israeli reporter has been stabbed on the job while testing a “stab-proof” protective vest.

Eitam Lachover was filming a segment about a company designing the vests when he decided to be part of the demonstration.

The Channel 1 reporter had agreed to test the hardware, to prove the importance of the gear, but ended up injured.

Skip to 1:00 on the video above to watch the demonstration.

isreali stab proof
Eitam Lachover accidentally gets stabbed while testing a stab-proof vest

In a statement to Israeli paper The Globes, the company said Lachover suffered the injury only because he “moved” during the take.

“The knife did not penetrate the vest. The reporter moved during the demonstration, and the ‘stabber’ missed the vest. The reporter was stabbed slightly above the vest,” the company said.

Lachover only suffered a light injury to his upper back after the accident and the manufacturers are still are confident the item is safe.

He later said on Twitter that he got stitches and was discharged from the hospital.

And yes, it's on video: http://reportuk.org/2016/01/israeli-reporter-gets-stabbed-while-testing-stab-proof-vest/
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #52 on: January 08, 2016, 05:54:06 pm »
The man with a bionic penis will lose his virginity to a dominatrix who ran for parliament

A man whose penis was ripped off in a road accident, and who has subsequently received surgery to fit an 8-inch bionic penis, is to lose his virginity to an “award winning” dominatrix who unsuccessfully ran for parliament.

Mohammed Abad, from Edinburgh, was run over when he was six years old in Huddersfield, in 1978. During the accident his penis was sliced off as he was dragged 600ft by a car.

Mr Abad had surgery to fit a fully functional 8 inch bionic penis in 2012. The organ has two tubes which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

Abad said:

    I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year.

    My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.


http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-will-lose-his-virginity-to-a-dominatrix-who-ran-for-parliament--WJY00cYJhg
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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #53 on: January 08, 2016, 07:02:30 pm »

Well...

Well.

Okay, I can't come up with a comment. Except to say I wouldn't want my sex life to be a matter of public curiosity. I value modesty and my privacy too much.

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #54 on: January 08, 2016, 07:11:12 pm »
42 years old and still a virgin.  I just wonder if this bionic penis enables him to "feel" what's going on? 

Just curious.   :shrug:

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #55 on: January 08, 2016, 07:17:50 pm »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.
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Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #56 on: January 08, 2016, 08:01:00 pm »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.

Oh my!   ***cool cat***

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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #57 on: January 09, 2016, 06:52:13 am »
See above ridiculous news story for full effect:

The man with a bionic penis was in a bad car crash, will now have to wait to lose his virginity

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-was-in-a-bad-car-crash-will-now-have-to-wait-to-lose-his-virginity--bJQJ5B6fhl


God REALLY doesn't want him to have sex.
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Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #58 on: January 14, 2016, 12:30:26 am »
Maybe the guy with the bionic penis should get together with this guy.

"A man thought to be Britain's most prolific sperm donor has fathered an unbelievable 800 children after selling his semen for £50 a go.

Simon Watson, 41, has been flogging his "magic potion" for 16 years and becomes a dad around once a week.

He now sells his sperm on Facebook and has raked in at least £40,000 for his efforts.

The rogue donor advertises his so-called "ammo" on Facebook and other internet selling sites, and at just £50 a pot Simon has a constant stream of business - and babies.

Dad-of-three Simon, from Luton, Bedfordshire, said: "My friends and family know everything about what I do, I've got no secrets."

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/super-dad-sperm-donor-800-7170289
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Offline PzLdr

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #59 on: January 14, 2016, 10:56:14 am »
Why only 8 inches?

If I had a bionic penis, I would want a dial to be able to adjust length and girth. Then I would let the woman adjust it to her preference.

Just an idle thought.

Like most guys, I'd probably go for one the size of "the Paris Gun".
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #60 on: January 15, 2016, 04:12:40 pm »
The man with a bionic penis will lose his virginity to a dominatrix who ran for parliament


Mohammed Abad, from Edinburgh, was run over when he was six years old in Huddersfield, in 1978. During the accident his penis was sliced off as he was dragged 600ft by a car.



http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-man-with-a-bionic-penis-will-lose-his-virginity-to-a-dominatrix-who-ran-for-parliament--WJY00cYJhg

If Lil Mo became a suicide bomber would he get 72 Bionic Virgins? :pondering:

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #61 on: January 15, 2016, 04:17:04 pm »
Nah. Milking machine.
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Offline EdinVA

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #62 on: January 15, 2016, 04:28:06 pm »
Nah. Milking machine.

 :silly: geez EC...

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #63 on: January 15, 2016, 04:28:52 pm »
Well, Hold the udder budder and turn it up to 11!
     


 :silly:

Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #64 on: January 17, 2016, 01:53:18 am »
This one might be the weirdest. It is certainly among the top 5.

"Rutgers Professor Raped Man With Cerebral Palsy In Her Office, Goes To Jail"

"The former chairwoman of the Rutgers University Philosophy Department will go to jail for as many as 12 years in New Jersey State Prison for repeatedly sexually assaulting a disabled man in her school office, Acting Essex County Prosecutor Carolyn A. Murray has announced.

Siobhan Teare, state Superior Court judge, handed down the sentence on Friday.

On Oct. 2, 2015, an Essex County jury convicted Marjorie Anna Stubblefield, 46, of West Orange of two counts of first degree aggravated sexual assault for repeatedly engaging in sexual acts with a man suffering from cerebral palsy who was unable to speak or communicate.

The victim wears a diaper and requires assistance with basic needs such as eating, walking and bathing and has the mental capacity of a toddler, according to the ECPO.

Under the No Early Release Act, she must serve 85 percent of her sentence before she is eligible for parole. In addition, she will have to register under Megan’s Law when she is released from prison and she has been disqualified from public employment.

Assistant Prosecutor Eric Plant, who tried the case, said Professor Stubblefield “was a trusted and respected member of the university community who used her position to prey on the victim. What she did was not only criminal, it was cruel.”

“Knowing how desperately families of disabled individuals are for some hope, she mislead the victim’s family into believing that she was making progress in helping their son to communicate while all the while she was simply satisfying her own tawdry desires,“ he said. “In the process, she did great damage to this young man, his family and even her own family.’’

Stubblefield admitted taking him out of the wheelchair, putting him on the floor in her office, removing his diaper and performing oral sex on the victim on one occasion.

She admitted engaging in vaginal intercourse at her Rutgers University office, where she was allegedly teaching him to communicate through something known as facilitated communication, a controversial and discredited method of communicating, according to the ECPO.

Stubblefield met the victim in 2009 when his brother took her class. During the class she showed a video on facilitated communication. After viewing the video, the victim’s brother asked if she thought his brother could be taught this method of communications, according to the ECPO.

From 2009 to 2011, Stubblefield worked with the victim. She took him from his home to her office. She also met him at a day program. Eventually she started taking him to conferences where she presented him as evidence of the effectiveness of facilitated communications.

She claimed he wrote complicated term papers and essays and expressed high-level thinking. She even took him on a date in New York City where she claimed he told her she should not drink wine because she was the designated driver, according to the ECPO.

After a while the victim’s family members became concerned because they were unable to communicate with him despite her claims that he was typing and communicating.

Eventually, she confessed to the family that she was in love with the victim and planning to leave her husband and children to live in an apartment with the victim.

At that point, the victim’s mother and brother, who had been appointed by the court to serve as legal guardians, asked her to stay away from the victim. Despite their request, she continued to try to make contact with the victim, causing the family to contact the University. Given the nature of the allegations, the university contacted authorities and Stubblefield was arrested and charged following a lengthy investigation, according to the ECPO."

http://patch.com/new-jersey/westorange/rutgers-professor-raped-man-cerebral-palsy-her-office-goes-jail-prosecutor?utm_source=alert-breakingnews&utm_medium=email&utm_term=police%20%26%20fire&utm_campaign=alert



I am not sure if being on the faculty at Rutgers, especially in the Philosophy Dept., is a contributing factor here, but she might consider raising that point on appeal.

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Online Right_in_Virginia

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #65 on: January 17, 2016, 03:33:10 pm »
He can always "self-deport" himself to heaven.

Just sayin'

OMG, I just saw this.  And I am ROFL!   88devil

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #66 on: January 29, 2016, 07:07:52 am »
Woman says she is a cat trapped in the wrong body - she hisses at dogs, hates water and claims she can even see better at night

 We probably all feel a bit like a sleepy housecat when we have to get up for work in the morning.

This Norwegian woman has taken that feeling to the next level. Nano claims she realised she was a cat when she was 16 years old, and has adopted feline mannerisms since.

The 20-year-old has opened up about her life as a puss, describing how she has a superior sense of hearing and sight which allows her to hunt mice in the dark.

She made the revelation in a YouTube video, which has been viewed over 100,000 times.

Nano claims to possess many feline characteristics including a hatred of water and the ability to communicate simply by meowing.

The young woman shows off her cat characteristics by wearing fake ears and an artificial tail. She communicates by meowing.

"I realised I was a cat when I was 16 when doctors and psychologists found out what was "the thing" with me. Under my birth there was a genetic defect," she explains in the video.

As they walked through Oslo's central station, the presenter asked Nano what she could hear and see that a normal person might not.

"Suitcases rolling on the ground," she says, "Keys clinking in pockets. People with ice under their shoes."

Then all of a sudden, she lets out a hiss and takes a step back.

"There is a dog over there," she explains. "Sometime I hiss when meeting dogs in the street. It's because of their behaviour and my instinct automatically reacts by hissing."

More, plus video if you must: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/12127067/woman-says-she-is-a-cat-trapped-in-the-wrong-body.html

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

Not the girl, she's just nuts, but with whoever decided this needed to be in a serious newspaper ....
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #67 on: January 29, 2016, 09:22:45 am »
Since we now live in the age of self-identification, this woman needs her special rights protected, and special accommodations given to her by all public places she frequents. Such as a litter box in the public bathroom, and her milk in a bowl instead of a glass. Scratching posts in her hotel room would be nice too.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2016, 09:23:09 am by Free Vulcan »
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #68 on: January 29, 2016, 09:33:28 am »
I think she is one of them "furries". 

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #69 on: January 29, 2016, 09:58:22 am »
I think she is one of them "furries".

I'd hate to see the size of those hairballs.  8888spinning cat

 
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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #70 on: January 29, 2016, 10:06:07 am »
I'd hate to see the size of those hairballs.  8888spinning cat

 

Now that's funny!

I wonder, does she prefer using a cat box?

Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #71 on: January 29, 2016, 11:33:15 am »
Now that's funny!

I wonder, does she prefer using a cat box?

Gag!  I wouldn't want to have to clean that out!   :poohappen:

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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #72 on: January 29, 2016, 11:47:55 am »
Since we're on cats ....

‘Someone shaved my cat’: pet owners left mystified after bizarre incidents in Minchinhampton

 SOMEONE is catching and shaving cats in Minchinhampton.

Pet owners in the town have been left angry and mystified after two cats had their fur shaved off with what appears to be an electric trimmer.

Two neighbours came home during the last week to find large bold patches on their pet’s backs, stomachs and even on the top of their heads.

Resident Mandy Felton said she found her three-year-old black and white called Treacle in a state of distress on Monday evening.

“The poor thing was traumatised,” said Mandy, who lives in Glebe Road.

“Someone has clearly caught her and shaved two big patches into her fur. There were little marks on her legs and paws as well. It looked quite painful.

“She was a timid cat to begin with and wouldn’t usually go up to people in the street - but now she seems scared to go back outside.

“Treacle would never go up to someone if they called her, so somebody must have trapped her and held her down.

“When my daughter Tia first discovered what had happened she was so upset.

“I don’t understand who would do such a thing. What kind of person gets their kicks from shaving cats?

http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/14237231.___Someone_shaved_my_cat_____pet_owners_left_mystified_after_bizarre_incidents_in_Minchinhampton/
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Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #73 on: January 29, 2016, 12:23:26 pm »
Sick fu(ks. 
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Offline katzenjammer

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #74 on: January 29, 2016, 12:28:28 pm »
Vile beyond description.

Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #75 on: January 29, 2016, 12:42:18 pm »

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #76 on: January 31, 2016, 07:29:25 am »
Marietta Police K-9 to be auctioned off despite handler’s request to keep him

MARIETTA, OH (WCMH) — A Marietta police officer who retired earlier this week wants his partner to retire with him. Instead, the city says Ajax, his K-9 partner for the last four years, will be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

Officer Matthew Hickey retired on Monday after serving 30 years in law enforcement, NBC affiliate WTAP-TV reports. He wanted to Ajax to retire with him, but the city told him that wouldn’t be possible.

News quickly spread in the small community, and they started a GoFundMe account which raised $3,500 – the amount Officer Hickey was told Ajax was worth.

“I had the money for the dog and was ready to hand it to the the chief of police, and the chief of police said he couldn’t take it,” Hickey said.

The city says it is just following state law. Ohio state code 9.62 states that officers are allowed to purchase their K-9 partners when the dog is retired for just $1. But Ajax isn’t the one retiring in this case.

“Another section of this particular law that says if a law enforcement officer leaves the unit, and in this situation, Officer Hickey is leaving the unit,” explained Paul Bertram, City of Marietta Law Director, “That particular section says that the officer forfeits the right to purchase the dog, under this provision.

http://nbc4i.com/2016/01/30/marietta-police-k-9-to-be-auctioned-off-despite-handlers-request-to-keep-him/

The law is an ass. Proven once more.
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Offline aligncare

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #77 on: January 31, 2016, 08:43:56 am »

Exactly, EC.

The letter of the law can be stupid, asinine, cruel, devoid of judgment or common sense, or any number of other appropriate descriptions.

If as humans we can't recognize and follow the spirit of the law, when the intent of the law is shown to be (see above descriptions), then we are too stupid and inhuman to exist.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #78 on: February 03, 2016, 10:18:43 am »
DC bill to pay people stipends not to commit crimes

WASHINGTON (AP) - They say crime doesn't pay, but that might not be entirely true in the District of Columbia as lawmakers look for ways to discourage people from becoming repeat offenders.

The D.C. Council unanimously approved a bill Tuesday that includes a proposal to pay residents a stipend not to commit crimes. It's based on a program in Richmond, California, that advocates say has contributed to deep reductions in crime there.

Under the bill, city officials would identify up to 200 people a year who are considered at risk of either committing or becoming victims of violent crime. Those people would be directed to participate in behavioral therapy and other programs. If they fulfill those obligations and stay out of trouble, they would be paid.

http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/dc/2016/02/02/dc-bill-pay-people-stipends-not-commit-crimes/79712420/

Aren't there more than 200 in Congress?
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #79 on: February 03, 2016, 10:45:45 am »
Man accused of masquerading as priest busted over fake tickets to see the Pope

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/02/03/man-accused-masquerading-as-priest-busted-over-fake-tickets-to-see-pope.html

A man who allegedly posed as a priest and officiated at Masses, funerals, confessions, and at least one marriage was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of selling thousands of dollars in phony tickets to see Pope Francis during last year's U.S. visit.

Erwin Mena, 59, declined to comment to the Los Angeles Times as detectives escorted him in handcuffs from police headquarters. He remained jailed, and it was unclear whether he had an attorney.

Mena faces about 30 charges, including grand theft, perjury -- for filing a marriage license he signed as a priest -- and practicing medicine without a license in connection with offering "a system or mode of treating the sick," according to an arrest warrant.

Last year, Mena allegedly posed as a priest at St. Ignatius of Loyola parish in northeastern Los Angeles and sold tickets to a pilgrimage to visit New York and see the pope during his Philadelphia visit in September, prosecutors said.

The trip supposedly included airfare and lodging at convents.

Michelle Rodriguez, 60, and some of her friends and co-workers paid more than $950 each in cash for the trip.

"It was a great deal for the price," Michelle Rodriguez told the Times. "We were thinking, `Oh, we'll have this great time in New York. We'll see the pope and it will be a great experience.' "

"He used us, he stole from us, and that's it," she said.

Mena, who was acting as a substitute priest, made a good impression.

"He smiled, talked about how good things were. There was never anything negative," Joaquin Oviedo, a retired public high school teacher, told the paper. "He was not a fire and brimstone kind of preacher."

"We had always been raised not to question authority figures," Oviedo said. "He's a priest - what he said is holy writ. We never imagined he was a phony."

Mena had been posing as a priest since the mid-1990s, appearing at parishes or prayer groups in Los Angeles, San Bernardino, Stockton, Fresno and Orange counties, then vanishing before Roman Catholic authorities could act, court papers indicated.

Mena showed up at St. Mary parish in Fontana more than five years ago and celebrated Mass on a few occasions, John Andrews, a spokesman for the Diocese of San Bernardino, told the Times.

Mena allegedly made money by borrowing from people and selling his services or videos.

One group loaned him about $16,000 to produce CDs about Pope Francis that turned out to be pirated, and one person loaned him $6,000, Los Angeles police Detective Gary Guevara told the Times.

Mena's name is on a list of dozens of unauthorized priests and deacons that is kept by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Some victims have been reimbursed, and those who received the sacraments from Mena can receive them again, said Doris Benavides, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles archdiocese.
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Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #80 on: February 03, 2016, 03:27:01 pm »
Marietta Police K-9 to be auctioned off despite handler’s request to keep him

MARIETTA, OH (WCMH) — A Marietta police officer who retired earlier this week wants his partner to retire with him. Instead, the city says Ajax, his K-9 partner for the last four years, will be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

"Marietta Law Director Paul Betram III told WBNS, “The dog is property of the city of Marietta. Because it is personal property, it is treated like a shovel. That's just the way it is.”

And that's where the Internet stepped in. A Change.org petition collected over 22,000 signatures and Facebook users took to the city of Marietta's page to express their displeasure with the law.

But then the collective of supporters decided to channel their rage more productively. Rather than let Hickey have to sweat out the possibility of being outbid, a GoFundMe page has raised over $50,000 in less than a week to go towards Hickey's purchase of Ajax at auction. The auction date has yet to be set, but should be announced on Thursday, February 4th.

Assuming no one tries to outbid Hickey for Ajax (and, really, who would be so cold?), the remaining money is to be spent on protective vests for K9 units, a growing trend in light of recent law enforcement incidents."

http://mashable.com/2016/01/31/k9-auction-fundraiser/#zTNJwJaUwOq7

Hey, Paul, baby, a dog is not the same as an inanimate object like a shovel. Wake up, you dweeb.
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #81 on: February 04, 2016, 07:11:55 am »
Thank you, Paladin. There are good people about still.
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Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #82 on: February 04, 2016, 07:13:09 am »
Prostitute ‘surgically removed from client after he died during sex’

Video at link. Nothing gross.

http://reportuk.org/2016/02/prostitute-surgically-removed-from-client-after-he-died-during-sex/
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #83 on: February 04, 2016, 11:54:26 am »
Prostitute ‘surgically removed from client after he died during sex’

Video at link. Nothing gross.

http://reportuk.org/2016/02/prostitute-surgically-removed-from-client-after-he-died-during-sex/

There's a TV scene waiting to happen....
The Republic is lost.

Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #84 on: February 04, 2016, 02:39:41 pm »
Prostitute ‘surgically removed from client after he died during sex’

This might make an interesting premise for a Law & Order:SVU episode.
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Offline Meshuge Mikey

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #85 on: February 04, 2016, 03:22:54 pm »
D.C. wasn't the first municipality to try this.


The City Of Richmond Ca....S.F. BAY AREA....had also implemented this inane plan.


I have no information as to its "success" there....as yet.


this is the first time Ive heard of any municipalities paying protection money to the thugs



Have Indentified as a Male since birth!

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #86 on: February 04, 2016, 05:39:33 pm »
Prostitute ‘surgically removed from client after he died during sex’

Video at link. Nothing gross.

http://reportuk.org/2016/02/prostitute-surgically-removed-from-client-after-he-died-during-sex/

 Man oh man.... If only Social Security had a box locked that tight......Calling algore.

Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #87 on: February 04, 2016, 09:27:01 pm »
"Finland Tells its Female Citizens to Avoid Rapist Immigrants by Using “The Force” "

This is, so far as I can tell, a story based on fact.

"That’s the take from police in Finland, who released a strange video teaching women that they can avoid rapists by using “The Force.” The video quite literally encourages women to try to use an invisible, non-existent energy to ensure their own physical safety. Sadly, this is not a joke.

Some have been quick to remind us that Finland does not permit its citizens to purchase firearms for reasons of self-defense. If the US had the kind of immigration Finland does right now, maybe things would play out a little differently."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ4EQFcFQQo

This version (there are several): http://twitchy.com/2016/02/03/finland-te...sing-the-force/
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Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #88 on: February 26, 2016, 12:36:37 am »
From the headline it would appear this is a recurring phenomenon in the People's Paradise of Zimbabwe.

"Three women pick up a hitch-hiker and force him to have sex so they can 'harvest his semen' in latest 'sperm collector' attack to hit Zimbabwe"

"Police fear a trio of female 'sperm collectors' are on the loose in Zimbabwe after they picked up a hitchhiker on a highway and raped him in order to 'harvest' his sperm.

The women, believed to be driving a white Toyota Cresta, offered him a lift along a main road in the city of Bulawayo, in the country's southwest.

But partway through the journey the women attacked him - forcing him to have sex with them and making off with his semen.

Bulawayo police spokesperson Precious Simango told The Chronicle they picked up the man at an illegal hiking point on 6th Avenue in the city.

'Their victim was travelling to Cowdray Park and while on the way they changed the route prompting him to inquire where they were taking him. They told him they were taking a short cut.'

They are alleged to have then parked in a semi-rural area where they took turns to sexually assault him.

'One of the women used a condom while the others had sex with him without protection. They then took away his semen before dumping him.'

The inspector did not explain why they were harvesting semen, but the case bears strong similarities to a spate of attacks across the country in 2011 and 2012.

These attacks were fueled by a demand for men's semen in traditional luck-enhancing 'juju' rituals.

According to reports, victims of the freeway femme fatales are drugged or subdued at gun or knife-point - one man was even forced to perform at 'snake-point' when his rapists brandished a live snake.

The male victims are then given a sexual stimulant and forced to have sex repeatedly before being dumped on the side of the road.

In November 2011, three sisters and one of their boyfriends were charged in a Harare court for attacking male hitchhikers and harvesting their semen for rituals.

The Nhokwara sisters were caught when they were involved in a car accident and police found 31 used condoms in the boot of their car."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3464030/Three-women-pick-hitch-hiker-force-sex-harvest-semen-latest-sperm-collector-attack-hit-Zimbabwe.html









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Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #89 on: March 03, 2016, 01:35:05 am »
"Drive-Thru Sex Lands Couple Behind Bars"

"MARCH 2--As several drive-thru customers looked on, a Kentucky couple had sex in their car in the parking lot of a Hardee’s restaurant, according to cops who busted the randy duo for their 10 AM encounter.

Brittany Pennington, 24, and Johnathan Howard, 24, were arraigned today on indecent exposure charges in connection with their public tryst Monday morning outside the Hardee’s in Harlan, a city about 20 miles north of the Tennessee border.

According to cops, the occupants of several cars lined up to order breakfast watched as Pennington and Howard had sex inside a 1994 Ford Crown Victoria "during the rush hour."

The couple’s vehicle, a police citation notes, was parked next to the drive-thru lane, in full view of customers waiting to order Hardee’s favorites like the loaded breakfast burrito or the smoked sausage biscuit."

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/hardees-drive-thru-tryst-283915

The romantic twosome:




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Online Free Vulcan

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #90 on: March 03, 2016, 12:22:59 pm »
Quote
The couple’s vehicle, a police citation notes, was parked next to the drive-thru lane, in full view of customers waiting to order Hardee’s favorites like the loaded breakfast burrito or the smoked sausage biscuit."

Methinks the reporter was channeling their inner Beavis and Butthead when they slipped that into the article.
The Republic is lost.

Offline PzLdr

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #91 on: March 03, 2016, 12:25:12 pm »
Methinks the reporter was channeling their inner Beavis and Butthead when they slipped that into the article.

What about the clam strips? The Red Snapper?
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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #92 on: March 03, 2016, 12:30:49 pm »
What about the clam strips? The Red Snapper?

or Taco's

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #93 on: March 13, 2016, 05:19:30 pm »
10 pounds of bat poop found above Florida official’s desk

http://www.11alive.com/story/news/weird/2016/03/12/10-pounds-bat-poop-found-above-florida-officials-desk/81719050/

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — The state agency charged with inspecting Florida's restaurants and hotels has a festering infestation lingering overhead — literally.

Ten pounds of bat feces were found Thursday in the ceiling above the desk of Department of Business and Professional Regulation SecretaryKen Lawson, located in Northwood Centre.

The find comes amid a surprise effort by the Florida Legislature to move 1,500 state employees out of the building this summer after reports of mold and other environmental problems. Pending Gov. Rick Scott's signing of the budget, employees will begin moving out in the coming weeks and months.

"Please let the secretary know his office is off limits until the 10 pounds of bat guano is safely removed from the area directly above his desk," said toxicologist David Krause in a Thursday night email obtained by the Tallahassee Democrat. "This poses an unsafe condition and he is advised that no one should enter the room or go above the ceiling tiles without respiratory protection."

Krause, of Geosyntec Consultants, said he planted an "air scrubber" in the office to reduce any "airborne debris" generated during the inspection.

State offices take up nearly 80% of the 500,000-square-foot property.

Chad Poppell, secretary of the state Department of Management Services, which oversees state facilities, said the building failed to pass muster.

"After taking several immediate actions at the Northwood Centre to ensure employee health and safety, it became clear that the building does not meet our very high workplace standards," he said. "Out of an abundance of caution, we worked with the Legislature on a solution to identify other locations for employees to work."

But NAI Talcor, which manages the building, said they were blindsided by the news. The company had no inkling of the state's plan until it was brought up during a 10-minute budget discussion between House and Senate leaders on Sunday. The state paid about $7.5 million in rent to Northwood in the 2015-16 fiscal year.

"We're confident that these issues will be resolved in the very near future," said Talcor President Ed Murray. "But we were totally shocked by the legislative action that occurred without any opportunity from the owners of Northwood to give any input."

Employees recounted tales of air quality issues dating back to the 1990s.

One woman said she developed respiratory problems when she worked there from 1995 to about 2000. She started receiving breathing treatments with a doctor three times a week, and once her office was moved to another site, her breathing returned to normal.

The woman, who chose not to be named because she still works in state government, said she and others used to return to work Monday morning to find small poppy-seed sized dark brown pellets on their desks.

Northwood is owned by Ajax Partners based in New York City. The building used to be the Northwood Mall, which opened in 1969. The building started to be used as office space in 1988.
The Republic is lost.

Offline Paladin

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #94 on: March 13, 2016, 05:39:32 pm »
Holy moly, bat poo-poo, called guano, is valuable.

"Guano (via Spanish, ultimately from the Quechua wanu) is the excrement of seabirds, cave-dwelling bats, pinnipeds, or (in English usage) birds in general.[1] As a manure, guano is a highly effective fertilizer due to its exceptionally high content of nitrogen, phosphate and potassium: nutrients essential for plant growth. The 19th-century guano trade played a pivotal role in the development of modern input-intensive farming practices and inspired the formal human colonization of remote bird islands in many parts of the world. During the twentieth century, guano-producing birds became an important target of conservation programs and influenced the development of environmental consciousness. Today, guano is increasingly sought after by organic farmers.[2]"

Do you think the authorities will mine this stuff, sell it, and thus provide a little relief for the taxpayers of FL?

Yeah, me neither.
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Offline alicewonders

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #95 on: March 13, 2016, 05:55:44 pm »
Holy moly, bat poo-poo, called guano, is valuable.

"Guano (via Spanish, ultimately from the Quechua wanu) is the excrement of seabirds, cave-dwelling bats, pinnipeds, or (in English usage) birds in general.[1] As a manure, guano is a highly effective fertilizer due to its exceptionally high content of nitrogen, phosphate and potassium: nutrients essential for plant growth. The 19th-century guano trade played a pivotal role in the development of modern input-intensive farming practices and inspired the formal human colonization of remote bird islands in many parts of the world. During the twentieth century, guano-producing birds became an important target of conservation programs and influenced the development of environmental consciousness. Today, guano is increasingly sought after by organic farmers.[2]"

Do you think the authorities will mine this stuff, sell it, and thus provide a little relief for the taxpayers of FL?

Yeah, me neither.

You reminded me of this:

http://picdit.net/2008/08/25/isfahans-ancient-pigeon-towers/

Isfahan’s Ancient Pigeon Towers

"The main purpose of these pigeon towers were to collect dung which was a significant source of local revenue. These towers were frequently decorated with white plaster and painted ochre (which is the color that attracts pigeons the most). These cylindrical towers constructed of brick, gypsum, and lime plaster would range from 15 to 25 meters in diameter to often imposing heights of 20 meters or more. Topped with domes with crevices to allow access to honeycombed interiors, each pigeon tower could accommodate thousands of the Persian wild pigeons."





Other images at link - these buildings were built to harvest pigeon dung.
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Wingnut

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #96 on: March 13, 2016, 05:55:54 pm »


Colonel "Bat" Guano: "You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company."

Offline EC

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #97 on: March 19, 2016, 06:06:06 pm »
This one is more strange as hell than ridiculous:

People are freaking out over this woman vanishing on live TV

A woman at an airport chats to fellow travellers, turns to grab her suitcase from the conveyor belt... and vanishes into thin air without warning.

Video at link: http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/people-are-freaking-out-over-this-woman-vanishing-on-live-tv--W1xeMy0CckW
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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #98 on: March 19, 2016, 06:09:22 pm »
This one is more strange as hell than ridiculous:

People are freaking out over this woman vanishing on live TV

A woman at an airport chats to fellow travellers, turns to grab her suitcase from the conveyor belt... and vanishes into thin air without warning.

Video at link: http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/people-are-freaking-out-over-this-woman-vanishing-on-live-tv--W1xeMy0CckW

I love the wonders of perspective and the distorting effects of the camera lens.

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Re: Ridiculous News of the Day
« Reply #99 on: March 19, 2016, 07:31:48 pm »
Being that it's live TV and a static camera, it's very interesting.
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