Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019  (Read 35780 times)

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Offline EasyAce

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The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« on: January 05, 2019, 01:20:54 am »
Well, somebody had to do it!

Straitjackets to the left, tranquilisers to the right, and keepa u hands offa my crayons! ;)








Sorry...

« Last Edit: January 05, 2019, 01:26:04 am by EasyAce »


"The question of who is right is a small one, indeed, beside the question of what is right."---Albert Jay Nock.

Fake news---news you don't like or don't want to hear.

Offline Machiavelli

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The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2019, 11:37:34 am »

Offline kevindavis007

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2019, 02:31:31 am »
Bookmark
Join The Reagan Caucus: https://reagancaucus.org/ and the Eisenhower Caucus: https://EisenhowerCaucus.org

Ronald Reagan: “Rather than...talking about putting up a fence, why don’t we work out some recognition of our mutual problems and make it possible for them to come here legally with a work permit…earning here they pay taxes here.”

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2019, 12:08:01 pm »
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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2019, 05:08:48 pm »

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2019, 10:49:32 am »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2019, 08:56:12 am »

Offline Gefn

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2019, 09:06:26 am »
Bookmark  :silly:
G-d bless America. G-d bless us all                                 

Adopt a puppy or kitty from your local shelter
Or an older dog or cat. They're true love❤️

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2019, 02:46:24 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2019, 02:48:28 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2019, 02:50:26 pm »

Offline flowers

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2019
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2019, 04:23:36 pm »


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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2019, 07:57:35 pm »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2019, 08:06:41 pm »
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

Offline verga

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2019, 08:29:05 am »
BKMK
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline EasyAce

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #16 on: February 01, 2019, 10:41:53 pm »


"The question of who is right is a small one, indeed, beside the question of what is right."---Albert Jay Nock.

Fake news---news you don't like or don't want to hear.

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #17 on: February 06, 2019, 02:22:01 pm »
A Texas State Trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Trooper's car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The Trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2019, 02:04:36 pm »
The 10 Laziest Cities in America

Which cities in the United States have the most number of people out of work - and refusing to get a job?


Sorry...

10. Cleveland, OH
9. Pueblo, CO
8. Paterson, NJ
7. Hartford, CT
6. Waco, TX
5. Buffalo, NY
4. Detroit, MI
3. San Bernardino, CA
2. Springfield, MA
1. Dayton, OH

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2019, 05:51:58 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #20 on: February 09, 2019, 04:01:49 pm »

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #21 on: February 10, 2019, 01:43:31 pm »
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Offline Formerly Once-Ler

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2019, 04:46:47 am »


Wisconsin - Midwestern values

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2019, 05:57:18 am »
Every time I ask what LGBT stands for, I never get a straight answer.

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2019, 05:04:39 pm »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2019, 06:02:02 pm »
Spock and McCoy together again in a new sitcom.

Featuring: Harold Ramis and Dave Thomas


Error 404 (Not Found)!!1
« Last Edit: February 21, 2019, 06:02:34 pm by Machiavelli »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2019, 01:39:43 pm »
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

The man pays the boy and hopes he's seen the last of him.

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "It's dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy: "$750."

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost."

"I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "It's dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that crap again."



Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2019, 11:17:13 am »
One day Pinocchio came to Geppetto with a problem.

“Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?”

“Have you tried sandpaper?” Geppetto asked.

Pinocchio hadn’t, so he went to try it.

Pinocchio saw Geppetto a few weeks later.

“How did the problem work out with your girlfriend?” Geppetto asked.

Pinocchio replied. “Who needs a girlfriend?”

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2019, 01:49:24 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2019, 01:52:26 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2019, 01:53:43 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2019, 01:58:40 pm »
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break’?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a ‘Nazi.’
He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a ‘doughnut eating Gestapo.’
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Obama in ‘08 .’

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.

Offline verga

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #32 on: March 09, 2019, 02:09:08 pm »
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break’?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a ‘Nazi.’
He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a ‘doughnut eating Gestapo.’
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Obama in ‘08 .’

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #33 on: March 17, 2019, 03:10:56 pm »



Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

“Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”.

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?”

“That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery”

“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”

“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout, and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim, did he at least go quickly?”

“Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.”

Offline DCPatriot

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"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

The idea that somebody looked at a purple onion and called it a red onion really bothers me.   

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2019, 06:21:45 pm »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #36 on: March 23, 2019, 11:45:00 am »

Offline verga

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2019, 05:54:27 am »
A teacher was discussing WWII with her class. One ofthe studetrns said his granfatehr was in the Airforce during the war and would be glad to tell the class about it.
On the big day the old veteran comes in and begins to tell nthe clas some stories.
Well you see one day we were in a real dog fight. There were Fokker to the left and right, there were fokkers above and below. There were Fokkers every where.
The teacher interupted to tell the class that a Fokker was a type of German fither plane.
The old man added. Yeah and some of those fokkers were flying Messerschmitts as well.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline EasyAce

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #38 on: March 28, 2019, 06:07:42 pm »


"The question of who is right is a small one, indeed, beside the question of what is right."---Albert Jay Nock.

Fake news---news you don't like or don't want to hear.

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #39 on: March 28, 2019, 06:20:05 pm »
The 10 Dumbest Cities in America

Nick Johnson
YouTube
March 28, 2019

Quote
In order to rank the dumbest cities in America, we had to look at which cities have the highest high school dropout rates as well as which cities have low college graduation rates.

This is a pretty good indication of where people live who don't have educational backgrounds.

Additionally, we measured how many libraries are in each city, as a ratio versus number of places to party.


More


Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

For entertainment purposes only. I wouldn't take this seriously.

10. Las Vegas, NV
9. Phoenix, AZ
8. Los Angeles, CA
7. Hartford, CT
6. San Antonio, TX
5. Dallas, TX
4. El Paso, TX
3. Santa Ana, CA
2. Detroit, MI
1. Fresno, CA
« Last Edit: March 28, 2019, 06:25:07 pm by Machiavelli »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #40 on: March 30, 2019, 12:44:24 pm »
Grandma and grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.  The son said "I don't think you should take one they're very strong and very expensive".  "How much?" asked Grandpa.  "$10 a pill" answered the son.  "I don't care" replied Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under your pillow".  Later the next morning the son found $110 under his pillow.  He called Grandpa and said "I told you each pill was $10 not $110".  "I know" said Grandpa.  "The hundred is from Grandma."


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Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #42 on: April 09, 2019, 08:27:12 pm »

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #43 on: April 12, 2019, 10:39:46 am »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #44 on: April 14, 2019, 08:34:18 am »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #45 on: April 20, 2019, 09:31:22 am »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #47 on: April 30, 2019, 05:31:21 pm »
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2025

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #48 on: May 03, 2019, 11:03:16 pm »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2019, 01:27:31 pm »