The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread

[mountaineer]

Palm City man accused of enticing alligator to bite him, pouring beer in its mouth
Sara Marino, Treasure Coast Newspapers Published 3:33 p.m. ET Oct. 7, 2019 | Updated 10:49 a.m. ET Oct. 8, 2019

PALM CITY— A Hobe Sound man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into the reptile's mouth after his friend caught the animal.

Timothy Kepke, 27, of the 6200 block of Southeast Croton Place in Hobe Sound and Noah Osborne, 22, of the 3000 block of South Kanner Highway in Stuart were both arrested Oct. 3 on one felony charge each of unlawfully taking an alligator.

In August, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission got a complaint about Kepke holding an alligator and enticing the reptile to bite his right forearm and then pouring beer in the animal's mouth, according to a FWC report.  ... More at News-Press


Osborne, left; Kepke, right

[Smokin Joe]

The way to a woman's heart ...More

Second rib down, next to the sternum....

[goatprairie]

Second rib down, next to the sternum....

I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.

[Smokin Joe]

I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.

Well, that's the quickest way to her heart, using the tools he had at hand. (I was being sarcastic, if reasonably anatomically accurate). Likely flowers and chocolates would have worked better for both him and her.

[sneakypete]

I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.

@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.

[Smokin Joe]

@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.

Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.

[sneakypete]

Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.

@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.

[Smokin Joe]

@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.

Can't see the chancres for the other sores...Maybe Meth kills spirochetes?

[jmyrlefuller]

"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."

Florida Man 2.0
Inside the ‘genius tendencies’ of Jacksonville Jaguars QB Gardner Minshew

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27801045/florida-man-20-genius-tendencies-jacksonville-jaguars-qb-gardner-minshew

[jmyrlefuller]

(rm dupe)

[mountaineer]

Florida man pours beer into alligator’s mouth, encourages it to bite him

Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots. 

[jmyrlefuller]

Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots. 

Duplicate removed in due course.

[mountaineer]

How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.

[jmyrlefuller]

How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.

I suspect it involves pouring beer down one's own throat first.

[jmyrlefuller]

Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn


Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/

[goatprairie]

Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn


Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/

Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.

[mountaineer]

and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

[sneakypete]

Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn


Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head.

@jmyrlefuller

Dood bees stylish!

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

Who says it's hard to find affordable entertainment? This guy even makes house calls and puts on a FREE show!

[sneakypete]

Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
 

@goatprairie

What do you mean by "now"?

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.

No, gators are strictly third date only.

[xyno]

It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.




https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c

[Cyber Liberty]

It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.




https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c

OK, this is AR so I have to ask:  Which one is the brother?

[jmyrlefuller]

Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”

https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/

[sneakypete]

Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”

https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/

@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.

[berdie]

@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.

I don't think that's weird at all @sneakypete  given your life experience.