2016 NFL LIVE THREAD WEEK ONE

Well, after the Sooners...

got mauled by UH--
There should be some OU Gals...

that need my brand of comforting!
Now now, Bendy-- Forget those Okie shanks....

The 11th is my "Braindead" series final and afterward, I can spend all my time taking care of you!
Clam down, Mary Liz-- We'll get started on more of the good stuff just as soon...

as I give my picks for week one.
Well, I'll keep...

the covers warm for ya--
Rats! They cancel my series and Bendy goes younger...

for Antgal!
Well, Alicia, when ants like Mary Liz get in your pants...

you just gotta go with the flow--
Okay, campers-- It is Week One and I am damn sure...

ready for some football!
Thursday, Sept. 8 the "Me! Me! Me Cam!" Cittycats will feast on Manning Heavy's Old Nee-high Nags--
Sunday, Sept. 11 we find the Bucking Ears stealing all of Vick's Old Black Byrds gold--
Allegra's Old Earlers will make the DeBridged Viqueens' Fat Lady sing--
The Chipless Iggles have no joy as Johnny Football-less Brownies eke out a close win while RG.2 tries his best to give the game away--
TCU North visits from Cincy, shooting down the sky high hope of the Jersey Jets--
The Breezer is becalmed as Seven's Waiders wade through, leaving the Ain'ts high and dry--
My Old Dallas Texans do everything they can and more to chase the Bolts back to Diegoland winless--
King Rex decrees his Buffalo Wingers to romp and stomp Crab City's Black Byrds-- And they do.
Allegra's Favorite Texicans, JJ and the Clown, fold, spindle and mutilat Jay Cutler and his Cubbies--
The Texicans bring JJ & Cowney to a football game. You bring Jay Cutler...

and get your ass beat. That's the Chicago Bears way!
It is easy going for big's Packer Wackers as they glide in 3rd gear over the Jagoffs--
Miami swims all the way across the nation to just get kick in the fins by the Seahags--
Lots of Luck about as the Indy Ponies tromp Detroit's Loinchops--
Impy's Old Chi-town Cards don't have to face The Tom, but they get Jimmy Grab'emlow and big is not happy--
Monday, Sept. 12, we have the twilight double bill of three teams that suck and one that doesn't--
Damn, Bendy-- That's...

just mean--
The Deadskins get scalped by Big Ben's Stoolers--
The new LA Ewes get Chipped to death by the 69ers--
And, BTW, here at Jerry's...

AT&T Deathstar Stadium--
It is in Dak...

we trust!
The Dakstar and his StormBoys make Eli look forward...

to joining his big bro in retirement--
Poor Eli, he no have...

chinaman's chance!

Okay, y'all get cracking...

and get those pick in!