Ridiculous News of the Day

[roamer_1]

That's what the bear said.

Yabbut... White Claw? Does that even count?

[Cyber Liberty]

Yabbut... White Claw? Does that even count?

Not where I live, no.  Same in Montana I'm sure.

[Smokin Joe]

Yabbut... White Claw? Does that even count?

Any port in a storm...

[jmyrlefuller]

Yabbut... White Claw? Does that even count?

Ain't no laws when you're drinking Claws... and I mean, a bear has claws, so it's fitting.

[mountaineer]

Woman Knocked Out Cold As Wedding Party Gets Into Wild Brawl With Cops
by Sean Joseph
 September 16, 2023, 9:03 am   
Outkick

A group of guests at a wedding in Rhode Island last weekend attempted to keep the party going into the early morning the following day. They ended up in an all out brawl with police that resulted in six of them being arrested.

The wild scene unfolded around 1 am on Sunday morning in Newport, Rhode Island. Police were called to a restaurant by the name of The Landing. A man, later identified as David Onik, refused to leave the establishment. He shoved an employee and took a swing at another.

According to the police, when they arrived on the scene an attempted to speak with Onik, his wife Rachael intervened. An officer then attempted to remove her from the situation by walking her away so they could speak with Onik. As they did so, she tripped and fell.

Other members of the wedding party then surrounded the officer. While attempting to get them to back away one of the women kicked the officer in the groin. He threw a punch and all hell broke loose as the woman’s husband started throwing punches. ...

[GtHawk]

Woman Knocked Out Cold As Wedding Party Gets Into Wild Brawl With Cops
by Sean Joseph
 September 16, 2023, 9:03 am   
Outkick

Article with pictures. Caution, shitstorm of ads! https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12513843/wedding-guest-trying-grab-cops-gun-brawl.html

[jmyrlefuller]

Pennsylvania Woman Arrested for Attacking Scarecrow



A Bradford woman is in McKean County Jail after allegedly attacking a scarecrow.

According to City Police, early Tuesday morning 34-year-old Jacqueline Suzanne Horton was seen having a conversation with one of the scarecrow decorations for Pumpkinfest. Horton then allegedly dismantled the scarecrow, scattering straw and stealing the clothes.

https://wesb.com/2023/09/19/bradford-woman-arrested-for-attacking-scarecrow/

[sneakypete]

Pennsylvania Woman Arrested for Attacking Scarecrow



A Bradford woman is in McKean County Jail after allegedly attacking a scarecrow.

According to City Police, early Tuesday morning 34-year-old Jacqueline Suzanne Horton was seen having a conversation with one of the scarecrow decorations for Pumpkinfest. Horton then allegedly dismantled the scarecrow, scattering straw and stealing the clothes.

https://wesb.com/2023/09/19/bradford-woman-arrested-for-attacking-scarecrow/

@jmyrlefuller

Keep in mind that this woman is PROBABLY in the divorce process,and looking for a new husband.

[Smokin Joe]

...and stealing the clothes.

Pretty hard up for a new outfit?

[jmyrlefuller]

@jmyrlefuller

Keep in mind that this woman is PROBABLY in the divorce process,and looking for a new husband.

Well what do you know? I happen to visit that city on a regular basis...

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

My ridiculous news of the day: John Fetterman is an actual senator.

[Smokin Joe]

My ridiculous news of the day: John Fetterman is an actual senator.

Which one?

[sneakypete]

Well what do you know? I happen to visit that city on a regular basis...

May I suggest Kelvar underwear on that trip?

[sneakypete]

My ridiculous news of the day: John Fetterman is an actual senator.

@Weird Tolkienish Figure

If  you think THAT is ridiculous,ponder the FACT that Joe Biden  is our President.

[libertybele]

@Weird Tolkienish Figure

If  you think THAT is ridiculous,ponder the FACT that Joe Biden  is our President.

 

[mountaineer]

Well what do you know? I happen to visit that city on a regular basis...

Ha ha, a couple of good friends from college are from Bradford.
 Scarecrow woman does look a little older than her stated age, I must say.

[corbe]

   That scarecrow used to sell her meth.

[mountaineer]

Ukraine's English-speaking spokesperson is an American male leftist activist who wears a wig and calls himself Sarah Ashton. I'm not making this up.

https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer/status/1704639398313374204

https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer/status/1704639402063065279

[rangerrebew]

California woman drops phone in outhouse and falls inside

Brinnon Fire Department
By Ricardo Tovar
 
Published April 22, 2022 10:36 AM

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BRINNON, Calif. (KION-TV)-- The Brinnon Fire Department and Quilcene Fire Rescue helped a woman in her 40s who fell into a vault toilet after dropping her cell phone inside it.

The woman stated that while using the toilet she dropped her cell phone and tried to dismantle the toilet to receive it.

After taking out the seat and the housing, she tried using her dog's least to fish it out but that failed.

She then attempted to use the leash to help support herself, which also failed, and she slid in and fell headfirst.

https://kion546.com/news/2022/04/22/california-woman-drops-phone-in-outhouse-and-falls-inside/#:~:text=The%20woman%20stated%20that%20while%20using%20the%20toilet,failed%2C%20and%20she%20slid%20in%20and%20fell%20headfirst.

[rangerrebew]

The value of a California education on display!

[sneakypete]

California woman drops phone in outhouse and falls inside

Brinnon Fire Department
By Ricardo Tovar
 
Published April 22, 2022 10:36 AM

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linkedin
BRINNON, Calif. (KION-TV)-- The Brinnon Fire Department and Quilcene Fire Rescue helped a woman in her 40s who fell into a vault toilet after dropping her cell phone inside it.

The woman stated that while using the toilet she dropped her cell phone and tried to dismantle the toilet to receive it.

After taking out the seat and the housing, she tried using her dog's least to fish it out but that failed.

She then attempted to use the leash to help support herself, which also failed, and she slid in and fell headfirst.

https://kion546.com/news/2022/04/22/california-woman-drops-phone-in-outhouse-and-falls-inside/#:~:text=The%20woman%20stated%20that%20while%20using%20the%20toilet,failed%2C%20and%20she%20slid%20in%20and%20fell%20headfirst.

@rangerrebew

Uhhh,just how much did that damn cell phone cost,anyhow?

Sometimes ya just gotta admit you  screwed up,and walk away from something.

BTW,who the HELL talks to anyone on their phone while they  are on the toilet,anyway?

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

What is a vault toilet?

[Maj. Bill Martin]

Ha ha, a couple of good friends from college are from Bradford.
 Scarecrow woman does look a little older than her stated age, I must say.

You're too kind.

[Wingnut]

What is a vault toilet?

It's one where you have to use a pole....

[Maj. Bill Martin]

It's one where you have to use a pole....

Some of us bring our own.

 

[goatprairie]

What is a vault toilet?

What used to be called an outhouse. Vault toilet sounds classier. Like the kind Scrooge McDuck would have inside his money vault.

[roamer_1]

What used to be called an outhouse. Vault toilet sounds classier. Like the kind Scrooge McDuck would have inside his money vault.

That's still an outhouse up in here. A vault is for gold or guns... Dunno what you fellers are a'guarding 

[Cyber Liberty]

That's still an outhouse up in here. A vault is for gold or guns... Dunno what you fellers are a'guarding 

Vaults are also what people are buried in...as a sarcophagus for a coffin.  Made of concrete.

[GtHawk]

That's still an outhouse up in here. A vault is for gold or guns... Dunno what you fellers are a'guarding 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxyw38tODKg


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

[roamer_1]

[...]

 

Ya know... Next week some time I am to receive a brand new chair... Not a Lazy Boy for the first time in my life - I'll never buy another. But the funny part is, I mentioned to my dear sainted mother that it's brandy-spankin' right from the factory, whereupon she informed me I'd still have to fart in it a while before I could call it my own... 

But the really funny part is that she was right. 

[Cyber Liberty]

Ya know... Next week some time I am to receive a brand new chair... Not a Lazy Boy for the first time in my life - I'll never buy another. But the funny part is, I mentioned to my dear sainted mother that it's brandy-spankin' right from the factory, whereupon she informed me I'd still have to fart in it a while before I could call it my own... 

But the really funny part is that she was right. 

Your Mother is a saint!

[goatprairie]

That's still an outhouse up in here. A vault is for gold or guns... Dunno what you fellers are a'guarding 

Are you saying fecal material can't have value?   

[corbe]

   Maybe Trump had it right, after all   

[roamer_1]

Are you saying fecal material can't have value?   

Of course not. But now you are talking about Yah's economy, not Man's...

As for valuable fecal matter, I've a fair hill of it out behind the barn, just sitting there... never had anyone try to take it. 

[roamer_1]

Your Mother is a saint!

A veritable font of wisdom... That she is. 

[goatprairie]

Of course not. But now you are talking about Yah's economy, not Man's...

As for valuable fecal matter, I've a fair hill of it out behind the barn, just sitting there... never had anyone try to take it. 

"never had anyone try to take it."
 
 Ever consider advertising? 

[DB]

A veritable font of wisdom... That she is. 

It sounds like you are feeling better. I'm glad.

[roamer_1]

It sounds like you are feeling better. I'm glad.

Oh, I feel terrific! Have ever since the back surgery - Came out with way less pain than when I went in... And now, virtually none... That's twenty years of screaming pain... ~GONE~. Virtually no pain now.

Now the trouble is in getting my undercarriage to work. Not a lot of feeling south of the border, balance is bad, because my feet ain't where my brain says they are... I'm alright on my buggy, but pretty tippy on my stick. And walking without either is out of the question.

100 ft of driveway is my entire world right now. But, good Lord willing, improvements will happen over the next 16 months. Even if I'm never mobedda, just being out of pain is a miracle.

[sneakypete]

Oh, I feel terrific! Have ever since the back surgery - Came out with way less pain than when I went in... And now, virtually none... That's twenty years of screaming pain... ~GONE~. Virtually no pain now.

Now the trouble is in getting my undercarriage to work. Not a lot of feeling south of the border, balance is bad, because my feet ain't where my brain says they are... I'm alright on my buggy, but pretty tippy on my stick. And walking without either is out of the question.

100 ft of driveway is my entire world right now. But, good Lord willing, improvements will happen over the next 16 months. Even if I'm never mobedda, just being out of pain is a miracle.

@roamer_1

This is a common problem. I SUSPECT part of it is your body still remembers the "adjustments" it had to make over the last couple of decades so you  could walk,and it is reluctant to toss them away. Muscles have memories,and they are NOT real fond of the idea of making adjustments. Don't ask me how I know this.

As I am sure you already know,the "key" is to not make any sudden moves when you first try to stand up and take a step. You have to take your time and make sure everything is working properly  before you get too "cocky wid it".

Sadly,the only physical thing that happens quickly are missteps that lead to pain.

On the positive side,what do you have to do that is more important than learning to make the adjustments you need to make?

"No sudden moves" are words to live by.

[Maj. Bill Martin]

Oh, I feel terrific! Have ever since the back surgery - Came out with way less pain than when I went in... And now, virtually none... That's twenty years of screaming pain... ~GONE~. Virtually no pain now.

Now the trouble is in getting my undercarriage to work. Not a lot of feeling south of the border, balance is bad, because my feet ain't where my brain says they are... I'm alright on my buggy, but pretty tippy on my stick. And walking without either is out of the question.

100 ft of driveway is my entire world right now. But, good Lord willing, improvements will happen over the next 16 months. Even if I'm never mobedda, just being out of pain is a miracle.

 

[roamer_1]

Sadly,the only physical thing that happens quickly are missteps that lead to pain.

On the positive side,what do you have to do that is more important than learning to make the adjustments you need to make?

"No sudden moves" are words to live by.

Your whole post is right @sneakypete

Right now, as big as I am, I cannot fall down. Even now the surgeon is insisting upon the critical care protocols I came out of surgery with. In this gig, my large frame is working against me, and even yet, a fall might burst the wound open.

It's pretty frustrating, since I feel so good. Right now I can't leave the cabin without using a handicap van service, and that only for appointments... So I have been NOWHERE but to doctors since Aug 1 when this whole thing started.

All of which matters damn little when it's all I can do to get a couple hundred feet on a dang buggy. So frustration has replaced pain in equal measures at this point. Grabbing my 45/70 and walking off into the bush seems a very long way off... And I might not get that far.

But I will get what I can. It's just a damn long row to hoe... A year and some in recovery is a long, long time.

Thanks for your words. I will take my time. I can do no other. And I will get through this just fine. It's what is on the other end that is in question.

[DB]

Oh, I feel terrific! Have ever since the back surgery - Came out with way less pain than when I went in... And now, virtually none... That's twenty years of screaming pain... ~GONE~. Virtually no pain now.

Now the trouble is in getting my undercarriage to work. Not a lot of feeling south of the border, balance is bad, because my feet ain't where my brain says they are... I'm alright on my buggy, but pretty tippy on my stick. And walking without either is out of the question.

100 ft of driveway is my entire world right now. But, good Lord willing, improvements will happen over the next 16 months. Even if I'm never mobedda, just being out of pain is a miracle.

That's great news! Having things turn around and go in the right direction for a change after so many years of pain is huge. Now for your body to relearn how to do things again, and it will with practice.

[roamer_1]

That's great news! Having things turn around and go in the right direction for a change after so many years of pain is huge. Now for your body to relearn how to do things again, and it will with practice.

 

[goatprairie]

Oh, I feel terrific! Have ever since the back surgery - Came out with way less pain than when I went in... And now, virtually none... That's twenty years of screaming pain... ~GONE~. Virtually no pain now.

Now the trouble is in getting my undercarriage to work. Not a lot of feeling south of the border, balance is bad, because my feet ain't where my brain says they are... I'm alright on my buggy, but pretty tippy on my stick. And walking without either is out of the question.

100 ft of driveway is my entire world right now. But, good Lord willing, improvements will happen over the next 16 months. Even if I'm never mobedda, just being out of pain is a miracle.

Good grief!  Sorry to hear about your pain problems. Glad you're getting better.

[sneakypete]

Your whole post is right @sneakypete

Right now, as big as I am, I cannot fall down. Even now the surgeon is insisting upon the critical care protocols I came out of surgery with. In this gig, my large frame is working against me, and even yet, a fall might burst the wound open.

It's pretty frustrating, since I feel so good. Right now I can't leave the cabin without using a handicap van service, and that only for appointments... So I have been NOWHERE but to doctors since Aug 1 when this whole thing started.

All of which matters damn little when it's all I can do to get a couple hundred feet on a dang buggy. So frustration has replaced pain in equal measures at this point. Grabbing my 45/70 and walking off into the bush seems a very long way off... And I might not get that far.

Yeah,but with some patience and some luck,some day  in the near future the bush WILL be close enough to touch. And truthfully,what else do you  have to do that is more important than healing? Healing will put you back on your feet and back in the hills again,and both are priceless accomplishments.


But I will get what I can. It's just a damn long row to hoe... A year and some in recovery is a long, long time.


True,but what else do you have to do with your  time?

BTW,here is a little tech-tip from someone who has been there.  IF the time comes when you find yourself temped to just say "Screw it,I ain't getting no better so why bother to  put myself through  all this pain",force yourself to turn on your tv and watch soap operas for a couple of weeks. If THAT doesn't inspire you to be willing to deal with  the pain  in order to get better,nothing will.

CAUTION! Do NOT have any loaded firearms within reach while viewing that swill because both you and your tv may be at risk.

And while watching it,stop to remember that there are people out there who are "whole" (physically,if not mentally) who look forward to viewing that crap,and call it entertaining.

Thanks for your words. I will take my time. I can do no other. And I will get through this just fine. It's what is on the other end that is in question.

That will always remain the unanswered question for as long as you are able to ask yourself questions. It is the  same for all of us.

[roamer_1]

Good grief!  Sorry to hear about your pain problems. Glad you're getting better.

It's all good. 

[roamer_1]

Yeah,but with some patience and some luck,some day  in the near future the bush WILL be close enough to touch. And truthfully,what else do you  have to do that is more important than healing? Healing will put you back on your feet and back in the hills again,and both are priceless accomplishments.

Well, that's kinda right @sneakypete ... First, while I will heal up from the surgery (I pretty much AM healed up), there is no guarantee that my actual infirmity will get any better at all. I may never get balance back. I may never get feeling back. This may be it, right now. All I was guaranteed was that I would not get any worse. As it is, *ALL* my pain left, and that's a huge gain. I already got more than I deserve out of it.

Now, since there is a God in heaven (heh, heh), I don't believe that. He's told me I will get up off my ass and see the Chinese Wall again. That's 10 days to 2 weeks walking back up in there to that escarpment on the Great Divide, And I will cling to that. Some day I will be there again, at least once more... And there are only two means of doing that... A'horseback, or on these two feets. Either way is fine by me. 

[sneakypete]

Well, that's kinda right @sneakypete ... First, while I will heal up from the surgery (I pretty much AM healed up), there is no guarantee that my actual infirmity will get any better at all. I may never get balance back. I may never get feeling back. This may be it, right now. All I was guaranteed was that I would not get any worse. As it is, *ALL* my pain left, and that's a huge gain. I already got more than I deserve out of it.

Now, since there is a God in heaven (heh, heh), I don't believe that. He's told me I will get up off my ass and see the Chinese Wall again. That's 10 days to 2 weeks walking back up in there to that escarpment on the Great Divide, And I will cling to that. Some day I will be there again, at least once more... And there are only two means of doing that... A'horseback, or on these two feets. Either way is fine by me. 

@roamer_1

Not true. There is also 3 and 4 wheelers. I suspect you  may dislike that concept even more than I do,but it IS an option if all else fails,and believe it or not,but *I* am one of those people who fill themselves with hope when that is all that is left. Getting there to suck in the peace,quiet,and the beauty is more important than HOW you get there.

And,who knows,just being able to get there at some time in the near future on a 3 wheeler just might inspire you to work a miracle or two?

Yeah,it sucks to even think about the noise disturbing the solitude of those areas,but you can turn the damn thing off once you  get there. The important thing is getting there and sucking in the beauty and peace of nature,not how you  arrived.

 

[berdie]

Well, that's kinda right @sneakypete ... First, while I will heal up from the surgery (I pretty much AM healed up), there is no guarantee that my actual infirmity will get any better at all. I may never get balance back. I may never get feeling back. This may be it, right now. All I was guaranteed was that I would not get any worse. As it is, *ALL* my pain left, and that's a huge gain. I already got more than I deserve out of it.

Now, since there is a God in heaven (heh, heh), I don't believe that. He's told me I will get up off my ass and see the Chinese Wall again. That's 10 days to 2 weeks walking back up in there to that escarpment on the Great Divide, And I will cling to that. Some day I will be there again, at least once more... And there are only two means of doing that... A'horseback, or on these two feets. Either way is fine by me. 

I am glad to hear @roamer_1 that you are not in pain! Your surgery hasn't been that long ago. There is no doubt in my mind that if you want to go  China, the holler or down by the creek to fish...you will do it! Now riding a horse...that's a different matter.

[Bigun]

I am glad to hear @roamer_1 that you are not in pain! Your surgery hasn't been that long ago. There is no doubt in my mind that if you want to go  China, the holler or down by the creek to fish...you will do it! Now riding a horse...that's a different matter.

I'm pretty darned sure that @roamer_1 will do whatever he puts his mind to doing @berdie . He'll figure out a way.