Ridiculous News of the Day

[EC]

Amid allegations of unpaid taxes, neo-Nazism, and sex offender, Denver furry convention canceled

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/amid-allegations-of-unpaid-taxes-neo-nazism-and-sex-offender-denver-furry-convention-canceled

I'm not providing an excerpt for this. Not so much for the subject matter, but it's so badly written and so complicated you need a GPS to navigate the story.

[Smokin Joe]

Amid allegations of unpaid taxes, neo-Nazism, and sex offender, Denver furry convention canceled

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/amid-allegations-of-unpaid-taxes-neo-nazism-and-sex-offender-denver-furry-convention-canceled

I'm not providing an excerpt for this. Not so much for the subject matter, but it's so badly written and so complicated you need a GPS to navigate the story.

Just wow.

[Cyber Liberty]

Well, "Furries" do claim to be just like everybody else.

[EC]

Cross my heart - I didn't look for this. It just appeared on my feed.

Woman takes therapy dog to furry convention thinking it’s an event for pets

Furry conventions are not a place you take your pet – but one woman didn’t realise until it was too late.

So you can imagine Cheryl Wassus’ shock when she turned up with her therapy dog, Link, only to find a huge group of humans dressed as animals.

Cheryl and Link’s adventure was documented in a series of hilarious tweets by her son, Kenny Wassus.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/04/12/woman-takes-therapy-dog-to-furry-convention-thinking-its-an-event-for-pets-6569875/

[Cyber Liberty]

Cross my heart - I didn't look for this. It just appeared on my feed.

Woman takes therapy dog to furry convention thinking it’s an event for pets

Furry conventions are not a place you take your pet – but one woman didn’t realise until it was too late.

So you can imagine Cheryl Wassus’ shock when she turned up with her therapy dog, Link, only to find a huge group of humans dressed as animals.

Cheryl and Link’s adventure was documented in a series of hilarious tweets by her son, Kenny Wassus.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/04/12/woman-takes-therapy-dog-to-furry-convention-thinking-its-an-event-for-pets-6569875/

Maybe Ms. Wassus met someone nice there?  Aren't they all lovers of cute pets?

[EC]

East Palestine Police: 8-year-old drives 4-year-old sister to get cheeseburger

EAST PALESTINE, Ohio -

It wasn't a Big Mac attack, but a hankering for a cheeseburger that prompted an eight-year-old boy from East Palestine to get behind the wheel of his dad's van and drive to the local McDonald's with his 4-year-old sister.

East Palestine Police officer Jacob Koehler tells 21 News that the boy pulled up to the drive-thru window of the restaurant at around 8 p.m. Sunday after driving from his home where his parents were sleeping about a half mile away.

The boy just wanted to buy a cheeseburger at the Market Street restaurant, according to police.

“He looked up videos on YouTube on how to drive,” said officer Koehler, who adds that witnesses say the boy followed the rules of the road, stopping for lights and keeping within speed limits.

The children did get to eat at McDonald's while they waited for their grandparents to pick them up.

No charges are being filed, according to Koehler.

http://www.wfmj.com/story/35131203/east-palestine-police-8-year-old-drives-4-year-old-sister-to-get-cheeseburger

[Cripplecreek]

“He looked up videos on YouTube on how to drive,” said officer Koehler, who adds that witnesses say the boy followed the rules of the road, stopping for lights and keeping within speed limits.

Maybe they should give him a driver's license since he's already doing better than 80% of the drivers on the roads today.

[Smokin Joe]

Maybe they should give him a driver's license since he's already doing better than 80% of the drivers on the roads today.

Just don't give him a DS or a cell phone....

[Silver Pines]

Man eats 255 Peeps for World Record


http://kluv.cbslocal.com/2017/04/11/man-eats-255-peeps-in-5-minutes-to-break-the-world-record/


Why!?  Why would someone do this to his body?  According to the nutrition facts for Peeps, each one contains 7 carbs.  So he ingested 1785 carbs at one sitting, almost all of them pure refined sugar.  I would think he could have blown his pancreas out, or at least done some damage.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Man eats 255 Peeps for World Record


http://kluv.cbslocal.com/2017/04/11/man-eats-255-peeps-in-5-minutes-to-break-the-world-record/


Why!?  Why would someone do this to his body?  According to the nutrition facts for Peeps, each one contains 7 carbs.  So he ingested 1785 carbs at one sitting, almost all of them pure refined sugar.  I would think he could have blown his pancreas out, or at least done some damage.

And here I was thinking. "Only 255, that's not so hard bet I could do 256." Not that I plan to try. I like having my pancreas.

[Cripplecreek]

And here I was thinking. "Only 255, that's not so hard bet I could do 256." Not that I plan to try. I like having my pancreas.

Those things are just nasty anyway. The only thing worse are those marshmallow peanuts.

[Silver Pines]

And here I was thinking. "Only 255, that's not so hard bet I could do 256." Not that I plan to try. I like having my pancreas.

Yes, DON'T, lol!

@Idaho_Cowboy

[Silver Pines]

Those things are just nasty anyway. The only thing worse are those marshmallow peanuts.

@Cripplecreek

That's the undeniable truth.  I tried to eat a circus peanut once, when I was a kid, and I gagged it right up.

I used to know a weird guy who loved Peeps, but only after they got stale and crusty. 

[EC]

Glamour model with 'biggest boobs in Europe' shocks fans with 'crispy brown' look after extreme tanning injections

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/glamour-model-biggest-boobs-europe-10217073

Link only. People are eating.

[Bigun]

Glamour model with 'biggest boobs in Europe' shocks fans with 'crispy brown' look after extreme tanning injections

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/glamour-model-biggest-boobs-europe-10217073

Link only. People are eating.

@EC

YOU owe me a new keyboard! 

[EC]

I did warn you ...   

 

[Bigun]

I did warn you ...   

 

Warning was very insufficient for that!!   

[Silver Pines]

Glamour model with 'biggest boobs in Europe' shocks fans with 'crispy brown' look after extreme tanning injections

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/glamour-model-biggest-boobs-europe-10217073

Link only. People are eating.

@EC

She needs to be committed.  "I want to push it to the limit"....with a 50-tube tanning bed at home.  You moron, the limit comes when skin cancer kills you.

Those balloon boobs look like she has a fat person sitting on her lap.

[EC]

@CatherineofAragon I'm surprised her boobs don't come to the boil every time she uses that tanning bed.

[Sanguine]

@CatherineofAragon I'm surprised her boobs don't come to the boil every time she uses that tanning bed.

I'm surprised she doesn't topple over whenever she tries to stand.

[Polly Ticks]

I'm surprised she doesn't topple over whenever she tries to stand.

Give it a few more years and she'll be tripping over them when she walks.  There's not a bra in the world that's up to that challenge.

[Cyber Liberty]

You guys are being pretty generous with the pronouns.  That looks like a "he" to me.

[Silver Pines]

@CatherineofAragon I'm surprised her boobs don't come to the boil every time she uses that tanning bed.

@EC

Lolol

[Wingnut]

I did warn you ...   

 

Seems like she got a plan.
kind of over board with that tan.

[Smokin Joe]

Looks like Al Jolson with a blonde wig and a couple of basketballs in a wifebeater tee.

[Cyber Liberty]

Looks like Krylon.

[bigheadfred]

WHY...do I have this sudden craving for dry crusty peeps?

[Cripplecreek]

WHY...do I have this sudden craving for dry crusty peeps?

All my friends are dry crusty peeps.

[Sanguine]

All my friends are dry crusty peeps.

Lol!

[Silver Pines]

WHY...do I have this sudden craving for dry crusty peeps?

@bigheadfred

Lmao

[bigheadfred]

All my friends are dry crusty peeps.

I want to nibble on their tiny ears and nibble on their tiny feet.

[Cripplecreek]

Lol!

Its a country western Easter song.

All mah friends are dry crusty peeps
They's the kinda comp'ny ah keeps

Boiled eggs n plastic easter grass
if ya eat the wrong one you'll be pullin it out'cher ass

[bigheadfred]

Implants are saline these days, right? She could put herself out twice if she ever caught afire in that oven.

I wonder if they have valve stems? no I take that back.

[bigheadfred]

Looks like Krylon.

Is Krylon the new code word for butt ugly?

[Cripplecreek]

Implants are saline these days, right? She could put herself out twice if she ever caught afire in that oven.

I wonder if they have valve stems? no I take that back.

Firm for handling, soft for traction? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

[Cyber Liberty]

Is Krylon the new code word for butt ugly?

It is now.  Fred said it, the internet read it.  Congrats!   

[bigheadfred]

Firm for handling, soft for traction? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

I want a do over. I think if she fell forward the back of her skull would get crushed.

If you deflated them she would look like she was wearing one of Hillary's pant suits.

[bigheadfred]

It is now.  Fred said it, the internet read it.  Congrats!   

Yay bud, that gurl is Krylon.

[Cripplecreek]

Is Krylon the new code word for butt ugly?

We used to classify women as medium and long range scuds.

A medium range scud looked pretty good till you got about 50 yards out and it was all "Holy crap! ABORT ABORT ABORT!"

[bigheadfred]

We used to classify women as medium and long range scuds.

A medium range scud looked pretty good till you got about 50 yards out and it was all "Holy crap! ABORT ABORT ABORT!"

Kinda why I made a beeline for monogamy and never looked back. To the side maybe a few (thousand) times. But not back.

[Silver Pines]

I want to nibble on their tiny ears and nibble on their tiny feet.

@bigheadfred

HA!  I have a coffee mug with this graphic:

[Wingnut]

We used to classify women as medium and long range scuds.

A medium range scud looked pretty good till you got about 50 yards out and it was all "Holy crap! ABORT ABORT ABORT!"

Simple mind tricks the brain plays on us men.   There is more of them to see from a distance.  Before engaging one needs to wait till your eyes have better focus to judge the proportions of the distant target..

[bigheadfred]

@bigheadfred

HA!  I have a coffee mug with this graphic:

That's IT! I had the t-shirt...

[GtHawk]

Give it a few more years and she'll be tripping over them when she walks.  There's not a bra in the world that's up to that challenge.

She's hoping for drone technology advances to be able to deal with the weight and then she'll use two of them as mini sky cranes.

[musiclady]

You guys are being pretty generous with the pronouns.  That looks like a "he" to me.

Looks the same way to me.

[Wingnut]

Looks the same way to me.

Maybe "Crispy" is a Holly Woodlawn, Candy Darling, or Jackie Curtis wannabe.?

[Cyber Liberty]

Maybe "Crispy" is a Holly Woodlawn, Candy Darling, or Jackie Curtis wannabe.?

I dunno, but that thing is scary.  Looks like it might pop a rod at any moment.

[Wingnut]

I dunno, but that thing is scary.  Looks like it might pop a rod at any moment.

 :nometalk:
 

[Cyber Liberty]

 :nometalk:
 

[Cripplecreek]

University of Michigan student wins $25K scholarship from Pornhub, report says

http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2017/04/report_university_of_michigan_11.html



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2bp4-pq7PE