Ridiculous News of the Day

[EC]

This is probably one of my favorite threads on this board.

Barry Terry Larry and his raccoon still have me laughing.

 

[EC]

Man facing charges after taking lion for pickup truck ride

June 15 (UPI) -- Authorities in Pakistan said a man is facing charges after a viral video showed him driving around Karachi with a lion in the bed of his pickup truck.

The video, recorded in the Karimabad area this week, shows the black pickup cruising down a street with the lion casually lounging in the back, unrestrained by anything except a leash held by a man inside the vehicle.

The video was reported to police, who identified the lion's owner as Saqlain Jawaid, a Karachi pet dealer.

......


Authorities said Jawaid is expected to face charges including negligence and spreading fear and panic.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/06/15/Man-facing-charges-after-taking-lion-for-pickup-truck-ride/3751497548482/

[Cripplecreek]

Man who robbed store across street from own home heading to prison

JACKSON, MI - A man who was quickly located and arrested by police after he allegedly robbed a party store at gunpoint and then ran down the street to his home to count his stolen cash is heading to prison.

Jackson County Circuit Judge Thomas Wilson sentenced John Burgett to two-and-a-half to 10 years in prison for one felony count of armed robbery Thursday, June 15.

The charge stems from the incident that occurred the morning of Nov. 16, 2015, when Burgett, 25, allegedly pulled a handgun on a store clerk at Corner's Party Store, 501 W. Ganson St., demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount of cash, police said.

While being held at gunpoint, the store clerk recognized Burgett, who was undisguised, from multiple visits to the store including two earlier that day, police said.

The clerk and witnesses directed police to Burgett's home, a nearby house that could be seen from the store, where he was found inside counting the money he had just stolen.

Police recovered stolen cash as well as an airsoft pistol that Burgett brandished "as if it were real" during the robbery and arrested Burgett without incident, police said.

[Smokin Joe]

Man who robbed store across street from own home heading to prison

JACKSON, MI - A man who was quickly located and arrested by police after he allegedly robbed a party store at gunpoint and then ran down the street to his home to count his stolen cash is heading to prison.

Jackson County Circuit Judge Thomas Wilson sentenced John Burgett to two-and-a-half to 10 years in prison for one felony count of armed robbery Thursday, June 15.

The charge stems from the incident that occurred the morning of Nov. 16, 2015, when Burgett, 25, allegedly pulled a handgun on a store clerk at Corner's Party Store, 501 W. Ganson St., demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount of cash, police said.

While being held at gunpoint, the store clerk recognized Burgett, who was undisguised, from multiple visits to the store including two earlier that day, police said.

The clerk and witnesses directed police to Burgett's home, a nearby house that could be seen from the store, where he was found inside counting the money he had just stolen.

Police recovered stolen cash as well as an airsoft pistol that Burgett brandished "as if it were real" during the robbery and arrested Burgett without incident, police said.

Wow.. I'd say that wins the dumbass du jour award, but it's early yet.

[EC]

Wow.. I'd say that wins the dumbass du jour award, but it's early yet.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Drunk farmer ‘starts fight with his own pig but dies after having three fingers and his privates bitten off’

A FARMER has died after he brawled with a pig that bit him in the testicles and tore off three of his fingers, it has been reported.

The man was bitten in the privates and had three fingers severed in the brawl with his pig, it was claimed

El Debate reported that farmer Miguel Anaya Pablo, 60, died from an infection caused by the wounds he suffered during the brawl.

Miguel is alleged to have returned home drunk from a party and somehow begun fighting with the pig which he kept in his home.

The animal managed to bite his testicles and severe three fingers of his right hand, the paper claimed, and he was rushed to hospital.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3826112/drunk-farmer-starts-fight-with-his-own-pig-but-dies-after-having-three-fingers-and-his-privates-bitten-off/

[Smokin Joe]

Just goes to show fighting with drunken pigs...drunks fighting sober pigs...Well, either way it's a bad deal.

[Cripplecreek]

Just goes to show fighting with drunken pigs...drunks fighting sober pigs...Well, either way it's a bad deal.

Maybe there's something to the Alex Jones pigman army theory.

[240B]

Wow.. I'd say that wins the dumbass du jour award, but it's early yet.

I want to play! Vote for Pedro!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDj8kkVwisY

[Sanguine]

Pigs can be vicious.  Well, obviously.

[bigheadfred]

Pigs can be vicious.  Well, obviously.

The smell of blood drives them to extremes.

[EC]

Human toe stolen from Dawson City bar

A human toe has fallen prey to some sticky fingers in Dawson City, Yukon.

And not just any toe — the gnarled digit is the essential ingredient in the famous "Sourtoe Cocktail" at the Downtown Hotel.

"We are furious," said the hotel's "Toe Captain," Terry Lee, in a news release. "Toes are very hard to come by."

The traditional Sourtoe Cocktail — a Klondike-inspired invention — involves a shot of whisky with the digit bobbing in the glass. The toe must touch the brave drinker's lips.

The hotel's posted fine for swallowing or stealing the toe is $2,500. It had been $500 until August 2013, when a patron gulped back the entire cocktail — toe and all — and slapped $500 on the table.

According to a news release on Monday, the hotel intends to fine and charge the thief "unless the Toe is returned safe."

More: http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/north/toe-stolen-yukon-dawson-city-sourtoe-cocktail-1.4168541

This one is going to be hard to beat.

[Cyber Liberty]

I'd like to know where they get replacement toes.  Well, maybe I don't.....

[Cripplecreek]

Tastes like Toe-fu.

[Cripplecreek]

The Downtown Hotel is a Toe Bar?

[GtHawk]

I'd like to know where they get replacement toes.  Well, maybe I don't.....

The wife used to have to get on the phone at work and order body parts for the boss, but he was a Reconstructive Plastic Surgeon not a bartender. An amazingly lucrative business the buying and selling of body parts.............from the dead that is!

[Cripplecreek]

Can Dick Morris account for his whereabouts?

[Cripplecreek]

I'd like to know where they get replacement toes.  Well, maybe I don't.....

A toe truck of course.

[Sanguine]

A toe truck of course.

Groan....

[Smokin Joe]

A toe truck of course.

[Cripplecreek]

But only if you can foot the bill.

[musiclady]

But only if you can foot the bill.

Enough with the corn!

[rodamala]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zq4J9XzuLRs

[bigheadfred]

The wife used to have to get on the phone at work and order body parts for the boss, but he was a Reconstructive Plastic Surgeon not a bartender. An amazingly lucrative business the buying and selling of body parts.............from the dead that is!

I don't think I could handle a live toe. Much less a drunk one.

[bigheadfred]

Enough with the corn!

I know, right?

The last thing people want is a corn on their toe.

[musiclady]

I know, right?

The last thing people want is a corn on their toe.

My very point.   

[Cripplecreek]

I don't think I could handle a live toe. Much less a drunk one.

Try the Mojitoe

[EC]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

WACO, Texas (AP) - A Texas woman who police said packed a loaded pistol in her vagina has been sentenced to probation after she pleaded guilty to drug possession.

Ashley Cecilia Castaneda has been sentenced to 10 years on deferred probation for methamphetamine possession. The 33-year-old Waco woman also was fined $2,500.

Waco police say that when Castaneda was arrested in 2015, she told officers on her way to McLennan County Jail that she was packing a loaded handgun in her birth canal. Police Sgt. W. Patrick Swanton said a jail matron performed a cavity search and found the gun, right where Castaneda said she had hid it.

Castaneda's attorney, Seth Sutton, denied the story as impossible, but Swanton said the police department stood by it.

http://www.news9.com/story/35710497/woman-who-hid-gun-in-her-vagina-gets-probation-in-drug-case

There is no joke I could make that would be in good taste. Or even tolerable taste.

[Cripplecreek]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

Can we talk about the toe some more?

[Sanguine]

Gives a whole new meaning to "you don't want to go there".

[thackney]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

S&W 629?  Ruger Super RedhHawk?

The important info has been left out of the story.

[bigheadfred]

 

[Smokin Joe]

S&W 629?  Ruger Super RedhHawk?

The important info has been left out of the story.

Boys Anti tank rifle?

[Cripplecreek]

Boys Anti tank rifle?

30 mm Gau?

[Smokin Joe]

30 mm Gau?

The Boys (Boyes, as I recall the spelling from my youth) was a .55 caliber rifle built to take on light armour. It was pretty much obsolete by 1942 as an anti-tank weapon.  I remember seeing ads for them with 100 or so rounds of ammo fairly cheap before the '68 GCA.



Some have been redone to shoot .50 BMG.

If you can carry it, it should be covered. The 30mm GAU is a tad large to pack around.

[Suppressed]

The Boys (Boyes, as I recall the spelling from my youth) . . .

It was "Boys"...named after the designer, Captain H.C. Boys.  I recall researching these when I was a wargamer in high school.  They were incredibly ineffective weapons for WWII tanks, except for lucky shots on the early tanks, practically doing more damage to the shooter than the target! 

[mountaineer]

Gives a whole new meaning to "you don't want to go there".

Just another reason I'm not a jail matron. Ewwww.

[Sanguine]

Just another reason I'm not a jail matron. Ewwww.

Well, that and a whole lot of other reasons!   

[berdie]

Well, that and a whole lot of other reasons!   

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

[bigheadfred]

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

No worries unless she was pregnant. She might be able to hold it and aim it. But someone else would have to pull the trigger.

[musiclady]

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

That was actually the first thing I thought of when I read this.

Loaded?  And what if it fired?

NOT a good plan, lady.......     

[verga]

Strangely enough, there was a guy here (Thursday) who was harassing people, peering in windows, acting weird, etc., downtown by the police station. The police, when they got there, said the guy told them he had gotten some bad meth and was looking for the good stuff. Asked them if they knew where the good stuff was. Wanted them to help in the search.

@bigheadfred When I read this the first time, I thought it said he was peeing in the windows. Whole different mental image.

[EC]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

[Sanguine]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

Cardiac contusion. 

[thackney]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

After reading the article, I am amazed you didn't include some pictures.  For example:

[Old Warrior in Exile]

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

I have lived long enough to realize that there is no such thing as a coincidence and there are no freak accidents.

We all have it coming, I reckon.

Act accordingly.

[Cyber Liberty]

I have lived long enough to realize that there is no such thing as a coincidence and there are no freak accidents.

We all have it coming, I reckon.

Act accordingly.

I'm betting she was huffing the Nitrous in the whipped cream.

[EC]

Lawsuit: Florida contractor fakes death to dodge angry homeowners

SEMINOLE — For weeks, Glenn Holland, 67, crawled out of bed before the sun rose to look for a dead man.

The retiree and Vietnam veteran spent several weeks on stakeout in his Ford F-150. Under the cover of darkness, he waited outside the home of a man he was told had died in a car crash.

For weeks, neither the Corvette, Hummer or pick-up truck in the driveway moved.

Holland nearly gave up. He waited one last time. It was 4 a.m. on a Friday in March.

Four hours later, the deceased walked outside and jumped into the truck.

Adrenaline shot through Holland. His heart started pounding. His mind raced:

Could Marc Anthony Perez be alive?

He was. The contractor who Holland said ripped him off, then faked his own death to get out of paying him back for a botched renovation, who left Holland and his cancer-stricken wife with nowhere to live, was still among the living.

More: http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/lawsuit-florida-contractor-fakes-death-to-dodge-angry-homeowners/2328232

[Gefn]

There's a very not nice place for people who take advantage of veterans and people with cancer.

[Smokin Joe]

Human toe stolen from bar returned, with apology
by: Bob D Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk Updated: Jun 24, 2017
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/human-toe-stolen-from-bar-returned-with-apology/539609570

There’s good news afoot -- the toe stolen from the Downtown Hotel Sourdough Saloon in the Yukon has been returned to its rightful owner, along with a letter of apology.


“We’re happy as clams about it,” Sue Taylor told the Alaska Dispatch News.Taylor is a “toe captain” at the bar in Dawson City.

The mummified human toe that disappeared early Sunday is used as a bizarre garnish for the saloon’s signature drink, the Sourtoe Cocktail.

In a news release, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said ...

More at the link: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/human-toe-stolen-from-bar-returned-with-apology/539609570

[bigheadfred]

I am pleased in toto.