Ridiculous News of the Day

[Wingnut]

The Last Days Church.  Aptly named.

[Right_in_Virginia]

Barron Trump 'took his entire fifth-grade class from his New York City school on a field trip to the White House where 80 students met the president and first lady
Daily Mail/UK, May 15, 2017

Barron Trump probably scored even more cool points with his friends after reportedly taking his entire fifth-grade class to tour the White House and meet his father during a secret trip.

The 11-year-old student at Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School went to Washington, D.C. last Wednesday on a bus with roughly 80 classmates accompanied by their teachers and Secret Service agents, the New York Post reported.

'All the kids got dressed up: The girls were in dresses and the boys wore khaki pants and button-downs. It was so cute,' a source told the Post.

'They had a buffet lunch and a tour of the White House and met the president and the first lady, Melania Trump.

'President Trump gave them all a rousing speech about living up to your potential and being the best you could be for your country.

'Barron was really sweet. He was so excited to show his classmates around the White House.'

The large group of students also toured the nation's capital and stayed overnight at a hotel before traveling back to New York City on Thursday.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4507954/Barron-Trump-took-class-trip-White-House.html#ixzz4hAuKZw1N

[Right_in_Virginia]

I especially like how all the kids got dressed up.   ^-^

[Smokin Joe]

I especially like how all the kids got dressed up.   ^-^

Unless things have really changed, upscale prep school kids wear ties and suit coats as a matter of course. Less would be underdressed for school.

[EC]

Halifax woman gets unexpected apology, gift after attempted break-in

An attempted break-in at a Halifax apartment resulted in an unexpected apology and a unique example of Nova Scotia kindness after a six-pack of Alexander Keith’s arrived on her doorstep.

Caitlynne Hines said a drunk man attempted to enter her North End apartment on May 5; he insisted a friend of his was staying at the apartment upstairs.

After she sent him on his way, the man returned a few minutes later and attempted to pick the apartment’s lock.

When that didn’t succeed, the man left again.

    “We didn’t call the police, but we were prepared to if he came back again,” wrote Hines in a Facebook message to Global News.

When she arrived at her home the next day, she found a six-pack of beer, along with a note, on her front door.

“It kind of clicked with me immediately once I recognized the box and I just said ‘oh my god I think it’s apology beer’ and we laughed for a good while over the note that was tucked inside,” wrote Hines.

The letter is signed by a man who identifies himself as Cliff, who said he hoped he didn’t make his friend upstairs look bad.

“I sincerely apologize for waking you up and being so disorderly in the middle of the night,” Cliff wrote in the note.

http://globalnews.ca/news/3451592/halifax-woman-unexpected-apology-attempted-beer/

Quintessentially Canadian.

[EC]

As a short break from the wankers in Congress ....

Police: Man says he stole security system to conceal masturbation

DUNBAR, WV (WCHS/WVAH) — Dunbar police said a burglary suspect told them he broke into a relative’s home to recharge his phone and then stole her security system because he didn’t want her to see him on camera when he masturbated to pornography.

Tristan Torelle Tucker, 27, of St. Albans was charged Thursday with daytime burglary after an incident that was reported April 23 on Dunbar Avenue, according to a criminal complaint filed in Kanawha County Magistrate Court.

Dunbar police said the relative said she believed Tucker had broken into her home because he had done this several previous times.

Police said Tucker told them he broke through a window using a glass breaking tool on the end of a knife because he wanted to charge his cell phone. While inside the residence, he said, he started watching pornography on the phone and began to masturbate, the complaint said.

The complaint said Tucker told police he stole the security cameras and the DVR box from the home because he didn’t want his relative to see him masturbating on camera. Police said he told officers he took the cameras behind a store and stomped on the DVR and then threw everything into the river so it could not be recovered.

http://wchstv.com/news/local/court-records-man-says-he-stole-security-system-to-conceal-masturbation

[Cripplecreek]

As a short break from the wankers in Congress ....

Police: Man says he stole security system to conceal masturbation

I use mine to make sure nobody can sneak up on me.

[mountaineer]

Some representative posts from Tristan's Facebook page:

Tristan Tucker
May 10 at 3:24am ·
Tell why disdude walks passed me ontha phone i guess with ha cops sayinh he got beat up they show up looked at me and said did u see it i just said i dont even know who that dude is and i been here for like 20 30 minutes so idk wtf he talking bout im wifi to wifi sir charging my phone playing a video games 😂😂😂😂💯😈🙊🔫

Tristan Tucker
May 9 at 12:23am ·
Dont no body even start to lecture me or run they mouth this how im living atm goodword im omw to grab something to eat and ig shit dont change soon bleep errybody but me

Tristan Tucker
May 8 at 5:13pm ·
Sleeping out side is suckin i almost look foward to jail so i can eat and not be bothered

Tristan Tucker
May 5 at 12:28am ·
Places for rent bleep no i dont want a roommate i wanna be alone

Words fail me.

[EC]

And now I feel bad. I do try to keep the obviously mentally ill out of Ridiculous News. 

[mountaineer]

My guess, from a quick perusal of his Facebook page, is that he's poorly educated, stupid, lazy and probably doing drugs. In other words, like all too many of my West Virginia neighbors.

[Cripplecreek]

My guess, from a quick perusal of his Facebook page, is that he's poorly educated, stupid, lazy and probably doing drugs. In other words, like all too many of my West Virginia neighbors.

Sounds like he's homeless by choice (Unless someone is willing to give him a free place to live)

[EC]

MIT student sues CIA for info about agency’s Twitter jokes



CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A Massachusetts doctoral student is trying to force the CIA to open up about how it uses jokes on social media.

The CIA has been on Twitter since June 2014 when it tweeted, “We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” It was a humorous nod to the agency’s secrecy.

Now, Amy Johnson, a doctoral candidate at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, is suing the CIA for failing to turn over documents she requested under open records laws in 2015. She is seeking, among other things, any training documents regarding the use of social media.

Her lawsuit says the matter is important to study because it’s rare for a federal agency, especially one with such serious duties, to employ humor in its public communications.


http://nypost.com/2017/05/18/mit-student-sues-cia-for-info-about-agencys-twitter-jokes/

[240B]

The CIA has been on Twitter since June 2014 when it tweeted, “We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.”

That wasn't the CIA you dummy. I tweeted that! It was just a joke. Lighten up you crazy B.

[Smokin Joe]

MIT student sues CIA for info about agency’s Twitter jokes



CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A Massachusetts doctoral student is trying to force the CIA to open up about how it uses jokes on social media.

The CIA has been on Twitter since June 2014 when it tweeted, “We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” It was a humorous nod to the agency’s secrecy.

Now, Amy Johnson, a doctoral candidate at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, is suing the CIA for failing to turn over documents she requested under open records laws in 2015. She is seeking, among other things, any training documents regarding the use of social media.

Her lawsuit says the matter is important to study because it’s rare for a federal agency, especially one with such serious duties, to employ humor in its public communications.


http://nypost.com/2017/05/18/mit-student-sues-cia-for-info-about-agencys-twitter-jokes/

So she'll get a pile of paper with black all over it and little birdies.
 Or not.
How will she know?
If they give her something, it could be disinformation.
If they don't throw her a bone, she'll claim cover-up.

Imagine the interview:
"This conversation may not be recorded, and if referenced, did not take place.
Okay, You know all those famous monologues?
Nope, they weren't ours, unless they were...

The guy who kept calling for Rochester?
We can neither confirm nor deny.

The guy with the nose?
No, not that one, the other one, yeah, with a forehead, too.
Yeah, Him.
NO, not Nixon, HIM.
 I don't suppose you ever made it to a USO show?
Well, we can neither confirm nor deny..."

Either way, the joke's on her. They could tell her, but then they'd have to ...

Cue: theme from Mission Impossible...

[EC]

Mannequin in Vegas hotel room caused shock and injury, SoCal man's lawsuit says

LAS VEGAS --
A tourist from Southern California is suing a Las Vegas Strip hotel, claiming a life-sized mannequin in his darkened room caused him to flee and suffer injuries.

Kent Jacobs Boutwell filed the lawsuit Monday against the Planet Hollywood casino-hotel in Clark County District Court, seeking at least $10,000 in damages.

"I've got some experience handling hotel casino cases," said Boutwell's lawyer, Richard Johnson. "This was certainly a new set of facts."

Caesars Entertainment declined to comment on the lawsuit, citing pending litigation.

On the use of mannequins in their nearly 2,500 hotel rooms, a spokeswoman said Planet Hollywood has traditionally been decorated with memorabilia, which is now being removed as part of a renovation that will wrap up this year.

More: http://abc7.com/news/mannequin-in-vegas-hotel-room-leads-to-shock-injury-lawsuit/2009729/

Didn't know Planet Hollywood has mannequins. Ergo, too stupid to breath without instruction, yet not too stupid to go to court. 

[Wingnut]

The old Manfred "Manny" Quinn scam.

[EC]

Some of these - you just scratch your head.

Woman who dressed as dinosaur to spook horses turns self in

CHARLESTON, S.C. - A woman who police say wore a dinosaur costume and spooked carriage horses in South Carolina has turned herself in.

Charleston Police spokesman Charles Francis said in a statement that 26-year-old Nicole Wells is charged with disorderly conduct and wearing a mask or disguise.

Francis says Wells was dressed in an orange Tyrannosaurus rex costume and walked toward the horses pulling the carriage. She started growling Thursday even though the driver shouted several times for her to leave.

When the horses became spooked, the driver was thrown from the carriage, which ran over his leg. The horses and the passengers in the carriage were not injured.

Palmetto Carriage Works owner Tom Doyle suggested the event was a stunt by protesting animal rights activists. The police statement did not give a motive.

Wells didn't have a phone listing and it wasn't known if she had a lawyer.

https://www.local10.com/news/national/the-latest-police-woman-who-spooked-horses-turns-self-in

[Smokin Joe]

Some of these - you just scratch your head.

Woman who dressed as dinosaur to spook horses turns self in

CHARLESTON, S.C. - A woman who police say wore a dinosaur costume and spooked carriage horses in South Carolina has turned herself in.

Charleston Police spokesman Charles Francis said in a statement that 26-year-old Nicole Wells is charged with disorderly conduct and wearing a mask or disguise.

Francis says Wells was dressed in an orange Tyrannosaurus rex costume and walked toward the horses pulling the carriage. She started growling Thursday even though the driver shouted several times for her to leave.

When the horses became spooked, the driver was thrown from the carriage, which ran over his leg. The horses and the passengers in the carriage were not injured.

Palmetto Carriage Works owner Tom Doyle suggested the event was a stunt by protesting animal rights activists. The police statement did not give a motive.

Wells didn't have a phone listing and it wasn't known if she had a lawyer.

https://www.local10.com/news/national/the-latest-police-woman-who-spooked-horses-turns-self-in

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Not sure why she stepped forward, (glad she did, maybe there is some character involved and not just some protest) but hopefully it was just a moment of stupidity and a life lesson, and not some idiot protest.

[EC]

More strange than ridiculous, but whatevs.

Mystery over sudden appearance of scaffolding on couple’s home

A married couple returned from the supermarket to find their house covered in scaffolding and they have no idea why.

Liz and Ken Thompson let their home on Wirksworth Road in Duffiled, Derbyshire, at 10.45am on May 19 and returned a couple of hours later to see scaffolding surrounding their house.

The pensioners said they had no idea where the work was supposed to take place because no contractor’s name or sign was left at the house.

They said they were left ‘shocked and surprised’ at where it had come from and are waiting for a scaffolding company to arrive to tell them how the framework came to appear on their house.

The couple, who have lived in the house for 30 years, have contacted at least one local firm, who have said that the work hadn’t been done by them.

More: http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/21/mystery-over-sudden-appearance-of-scaffolding-on-couples-home-6650501/

[Smokin Joe]

More strange than ridiculous, but whatevs.

Mystery over sudden appearance of scaffolding on couple’s home

A married couple returned from the supermarket to find their house covered in scaffolding and they have no idea why.

Liz and Ken Thompson let their home on Wirksworth Road in Duffiled, Derbyshire, at 10.45am on May 19 and returned a couple of hours later to see scaffolding surrounding their house.

The pensioners said they had no idea where the work was supposed to take place because no contractor’s name or sign was left at the house.

They said they were left ‘shocked and surprised’ at where it had come from and are waiting for a scaffolding company to arrive to tell them how the framework came to appear on their house.

The couple, who have lived in the house for 30 years, have contacted at least one local firm, who have said that the work hadn’t been done by them.

More: http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/21/mystery-over-sudden-appearance-of-scaffolding-on-couples-home-6650501/

Should have waited for the new siding and windows and then thanked them and asked who ordered it...

[Wingnut]

Could be worse.  A demolition order.

[verga]

Could be worse.  A demolition order.

@Wingnut Sounds like the beginning of a plot of a Douglas Adams Trilogy

[jmyrlefuller]

A person on Transit Road reported a gallon-sized milk jug with “white liquid inside” left in a parking lot. It was milk.

[bigheadfred]

A person on Transit Road reported a gallon-sized milk jug with “white liquid inside” left in a parking lot. It was milk.

That curdles my blood.

[Smokin Joe]

That curdles my blood.

They had to check it out if it was on the lot or the right of whey.