Ridiculous News of the Day

[corbe]

   Frank has been spotted.


Drunken Clearfield man placed in jail with his vacuum

by: Bill Shannon
Posted: Nov 8, 2019 / 09:11 AM EST    / Updated: Nov 8, 2019 / 10:38 AM EST   

LAWRENCE TWP. CLEARFIELD CO, Pa. (WTAJ) — Lawrence Township Police responded to a man struggling to walk down the Clearfield Shawville Highway with a vacuum cleaner on Thursday, November 7.

Jason Schmoke, 38, was seen walking the white fog line of the highway, in and out of traffic, struggling with a large box containing his Bissell vacuum cleaner.

<..snip..>

https://www.wearecentralpa.com/news/local-news/drunken-clearfield-man-reportedly-placed-in-jail-with-his-vacuum/

[corbe]

Ahwatukee couple fed up with dog poop sets up mouse trap

Posted: 10:19 PM, Nov 08, 2019 Updated: 11:19 PM, Nov 08, 2019
 
By: Karla Navarrete

AHWATUKEE, AZ — Peggy Hogan has lived in Ahwatukee for about one year, and since moving into her home, she says she'd had nothing but trouble in getting dog owners to pick up after their pets.

"It needs to stop. We are tired of it, we get cigarette butts thrown in our yard and the dogs...can I say crap?" says the woman who, along with her husband, has recently placed a mousetrap in their front yard.

"I guess they are too damn lazy to pick up after their dog," adds Hogan.

Hogan tells ABC15 she and her husband at first put up signs asking residents to pick up after their dogs, but the droppings kept coming.

<..snip..>

https://www.abc15.com/news/region-phoenix-metro/ahwatukee/ahwatukee-couple-fed-up-with-dog-poop-sets-up-mouse-trap

[Cyber Liberty]

Ahwatukee couple fed up with dog poop sets up mouse trap

Posted: 10:19 PM, Nov 08, 2019 Updated: 11:19 PM, Nov 08, 2019
 
By: Karla Navarrete

AHWATUKEE, AZ — Peggy Hogan has lived in Ahwatukee for about one year, and since moving into her home, she says she'd had nothing but trouble in getting dog owners to pick up after their pets.

"It needs to stop. We are tired of it, we get cigarette butts thrown in our yard and the dogs...can I say crap?" says the woman who, along with her husband, has recently placed a mousetrap in their front yard.

"I guess they are too damn lazy to pick up after their dog," adds Hogan.

Hogan tells ABC15 she and her husband at first put up signs asking residents to pick up after their dogs, but the droppings kept coming.

<..snip..>

https://www.abc15.com/news/region-phoenix-metro/ahwatukee/ahwatukee-couple-fed-up-with-dog-poop-sets-up-mouse-trap

A novel approach, doomed to failure when the first dog gets bitten by it, and the cops show up with a Cruelty to Animals warrant.

[roamer_1]

A novel approach, doomed to failure when the first dog gets bitten by it, and the cops show up with a Cruelty to Animals warrant.

A mouse trap is not capable of doing harm to a dog of any size...
 

[Cyber Liberty]

A mouse trap is not capable of doing harm to a dog of any size...
 

Tell that to the screaming meemie of a dog mommy or daddy of a Foo-foo dog that gets scared of the flipping trap.  I didn't say the charge wouldn't be frivolous, just what I know would happen in leftist Ahwatukee.  The fellow in the story who noticed the trap was...walking his dog, and he admits his dog has "loitered" in the trapper's yard in the past.  That guy would be the first to cry to the cops with a demand they "do something."

The cops would oblige.

[roamer_1]

Tell that to the screaming meemie of a dog mommy or daddy of a Foo-foo dog that gets scared of the flipping trap.  I didn't say the charge wouldn't be frivolous, just what I know would happen in leftist Ahwatukee.  The fellow in the story who noticed the trap was...walking his dog, and he admits his dog has "loitered" in the trapper's yard in the past.  That guy would be the first to cry to the cops with a demand they "do something."

The cops would oblige.

SMH. The world is upside down.

[Cyber Liberty]

SMH. The world is upside down.

It got that way from the excessive leftward tilt. 

[Gefn]

They are all over the place”: Aggressive gaggle of wild turkeys terrorizing 55-and-up community

They are all over the place," says Jack Adams, of Toms River. "They're are massive amounts of turkeys in here. I did stop the truck yesterday and they were gobbling, gobbling, gobbling and I bet they can chase some people around."

Others say if you don't provoke them, they won't bother you -- and actually see them as a benefit in the neighborhood.

"They're like traffic cops," says Richard Flecker, of Toms River. "People speed down the highway all the time and instead of speed bumps, we have turkeys."

Drivers are slowing down when the turkeys are crossing the road.

http://newjersey.news12.com/story/41294445/they-are-all-over-the-place-aggressive-gaggle-of-wild-turkeys-terrorizing-55andup-community

🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃

[Gefn]

They are all over the place”: Aggressive gaggle of wild turkeys terrorizing 55-and-up community

They are all over the place," says Jack Adams, of Toms River. "They're are massive amounts of turkeys in here. I did stop the truck yesterday and they were gobbling, gobbling, gobbling and I bet they can chase some people around."

Others say if you don't provoke them, they won't bother you -- and actually see them as a benefit in the neighborhood.

"They're like traffic cops," says Richard Flecker, of Toms River. "People speed down the highway all the time and instead of speed bumps, we have turkeys."

Drivers are slowing down when the turkeys are crossing the road.

http://newjersey.news12.com/story/41294445/they-are-all-over-the-place-aggressive-gaggle-of-wild-turkeys-terrorizing-55andup-community

🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃

Don’t you drink wild turkey?

[roamer_1]

They are all over the place”: Aggressive gaggle of wild turkeys terrorizing 55-and-up community

They are all over the place," says Jack Adams, of Toms River. "They're are massive amounts of turkeys in here. I did stop the truck yesterday and they were gobbling, gobbling, gobbling and I bet they can chase some people around."

Others say if you don't provoke them, they won't bother you -- and actually see them as a benefit in the neighborhood.

"They're like traffic cops," says Richard Flecker, of Toms River. "People speed down the highway all the time and instead of speed bumps, we have turkeys."

Drivers are slowing down when the turkeys are crossing the road.

http://newjersey.news12.com/story/41294445/they-are-all-over-the-place-aggressive-gaggle-of-wild-turkeys-terrorizing-55andup-community

🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃

So what's the problem? Sounds like everybody can have a great Thanksgiving!

[Cyber Liberty]

So what's the problem? Sounds like everybody can have a great Thanksgiving!

This would be a lot like the Turkey Incident on WKRP in Cincinnati.

[sneakypete]

Tell that to the screaming meemie of a dog mommy or daddy of a Foo-foo dog that gets scared of the flipping trap.  I didn't say the charge wouldn't be frivolous, just what I know would happen in leftist Ahwatukee.  The fellow in the story who noticed the trap was...walking his dog, and he admits his dog has "loitered" in the trapper's yard in the past.  That guy would be the first to cry to the cops with a demand they "do something."

The cops would oblige.

@Cyber Liberty

The best thing for those people to do is put a fence up in their yard.  Yeah,it costs money they shouldn't have to spend,but how much is your peace of mind worth?

[roamer_1]

This would be a lot like the Turkey Incident on WKRP in Cincinnati.

We have wild turkeys here in abundance. I am hoping to go out and knock one in the head this year for the first time in  a long, long time.

[Applewood]

"They're like traffic cops," says Richard Flecker, of Toms River. "People speed down the highway all the time and instead of speed bumps, we have turkeys."

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

[Smokin Joe]

So what's the problem? Sounds like everybody can have a great Thanksgiving!

My thoughts, too. Just don't hit them with the tires...

Oh, I see. All those vehicles are plastic in front...

[roamer_1]

My thoughts, too. Just don't hit them with the tires...

Oh, I see. All those vehicles are plastic in front...

LOL! Yeah that's right... I forget there's folks that don't have a steel bumper on their rigs...

[Wingnut]

This would be a lot like the Turkey Incident on WKRP in Cincinnati.

Except those wild ones can fly!

[Gefn]

This would be a lot like the Turkey Incident on WKRP in Cincinnati.

One of the best TV episodes of all time.

[verga]

This would be a lot like the Turkey Incident on WKRP in Cincinnati.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg

[Hoodat]

[GtHawk]

Don’t you drink wild turkey?

Wild Turkey was the favorite drink of all the cops I knew. I have never seen so many people drink so much and then blithely get behind the wheel and drive home. I wonder how many ended up catch and release because of 'professional courtesy'.

[mountaineer]

Judge says woman arrested in CIA trespass looking for ‘Agent Penis’ later visited Obama home
Neal Augenstein | @AugensteinWTOP
November 12, 2019, 1:03 PM


The woman who allegedly trespassed three days in a row at the CIA headquarters and requested “to speak with Agent Penis” recently showed up at the home of former President Barack Obama, according to a federal judge in Alexandria, Virginia.

During a status hearing, U.S. District Court Judge John Anderson said he had been informed that Jennifer G. Hernandez, 58, of North Carolina — who is charged with trespassing at an agency installation without authorization for repeatedly visiting the CIA in May — later showed up at Obama’s D.C.-area home, despite the court’s order to stay away from all government-related facilities. She had been released before the trial.  ... WTOP

[catfish1957]

Judge says woman arrested in CIA trespass looking for ‘Agent Penis’ later visited Obama home
Neal Augenstein | @AugensteinWTOP
November 12, 2019, 1:03 PM


The woman who allegedly trespassed three days in a row at the CIA headquarters and requested “to speak with Agent Penis” recently showed up at the home of former President Barack Obama, according to a federal judge in Alexandria, Virginia.

During a status hearing, U.S. District Court Judge John Anderson said he had been informed that Jennifer G. Hernandez, 58, of North Carolina — who is charged with trespassing at an agency installation without authorization for repeatedly visiting the CIA in May — later showed up at Obama’s D.C.-area home, despite the court’s order to stay away from all government-related facilities. She had been released before the trial.  ... WTOP

Whacked women probably got visited by Agent PENI 5.  Shit happens with undercover operations. 

[sneakypete]

Judge says woman arrested in CIA trespass looking for ‘Agent Penis’ later visited Obama home
Neal Augenstein | @AugensteinWTOP
November 12, 2019, 1:03 PM


The woman who allegedly trespassed three days in a row at the CIA headquarters and requested “to speak with Agent Penis” recently showed up at the home of former President Barack Obama, according to a federal judge in Alexandria, Virginia.

During a status hearing, U.S. District Court Judge John Anderson said he had been informed that Jennifer G. Hernandez, 58, of North Carolina — who is charged with trespassing at an agency installation without authorization for repeatedly visiting the CIA in May — later showed up at Obama’s D.C.-area home, despite the court’s order to stay away from all government-related facilities. She had been released before the trial.  ... WTOP

@mountaineer

Interesting. Did she say she was there to visit Manchelle? I seriously doubt Bathhouse Barry would be of much use to her.

[Applewood]

A vegan man claims Burger King cooked Impossible Whopper alongside meat

A man is suing Burger King because the meatless Impossible Whopper is cooked on the same grill as meat products, the lawsuit alleges.

The class action lawsuit, filed Monday in the Southern District of Florida, claims that although the burger chain advertises its vegan option as meat-free, it is contaminated by meat by-product because it's cooked on the same grill as meat products.

The suit accuses Burger King of false advertising and benefiting monetarily from offering a vegan option that is not in fact vegan.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/19/business/burger-king-impossible-burger-lawsuit-trnd/index.html

[Cyber Liberty]

A vegan man claims Burger King cooked Impossible Whopper alongside meat

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/19/business/burger-king-impossible-burger-lawsuit-trnd/index.html

I guess they named the burger well:  "Impossible."

[thackney]

*For guests looking for a meat-free option, a non-broiler method of preparation is available upon request..

https://company.bk.com/menu-item/impossible-whopper

[TomSea]

2 gas cans in the car and "smoking materials" involved, I don't think anyone was hurt seriously, minor burns.

VIDEO: Car explodes at Connecticut intersection, passerby pulls driver to safety

STAFFORD, Conn. -- A car that burst into flames at a Connecticut intersection could have killed the driver, but a passerby quickly sprang into action and saved the driver.

The incident was caught on video by a traffic camera, WTIC reported.

On November 1, Glenwood Little was driving with two gas cans in the backseat of when his car exploded, according to the Stafford Fire Department.

More: https://abc7chicago.com/video-car-explodes-passerby-pulls-driver-to-safety/5713438/

[TomSea]

Here is another odd one:

Border Patrol seizes 154 pounds of prohibited bologna
Ronnie Das

EL PASO, TX (WLNS) – Border patrol officers seized 154 pounds of bologna on Thursday morning.

Officers located 14 rolls of Mexican bologna behind the rear seat of a vehicle heading over the border.

More: https://www.wlns.com/news/international/border-patrol-seizes-154-pounds-of-prohibited-bologna/

[Gefn]

Here is another odd one:

 🎵My bologna has a first name...🎵

[mountaineer]

🎵My bologna has a first name...🎵

It's P-e-d-r-o ...

[Cyber Liberty]

It's P-e-d-r-o ...

 

[PeteS in CA]

It's P-e-d-r-o ...

 P-e-d-r-o M-e-y-e-r

Burrito-Mobile?

[EasyAce]

Here is another odd one:

[240B]

You haven't lived until you've had a fried bologna sandwich.
I prefer thicker slices than this, but you get the idea.

[roamer_1]

You haven't lived until you've had a fried bologna sandwich.
I prefer thicker slices than this, but you get the idea.

Crappy white bread - one buttered, one mayo'd
2 pieces of bologna.
1 piece crappy American cheese.
too many dill pickle chips

buttered bread
bologna
cheese
pickles
mayo'd bread.

serve with chips.

Standard fare of my youth. I can;t even imagine how many thousand of those sandwiches I have eaten in my life... And I still eat them from time to time with a big sloppy heap of nostalgia.

[bigheadfred]

Crappy white bread - one buttered, one mayo'd
2 pieces of bologna.
1 piece crappy American cheese.
too many dill pickle chips

buttered bread
bologna
cheese
pickles
mayo'd bread.

serve with chips.

Standard fare of my youth. I can;t even imagine how many thousand of those sandwiches I have eaten in my life... And I still eat them from time to time with a big sloppy heap of nostalgia.

Is there such a thing as too many dill pickle chips?

[Applewood]

You haven't lived until you've had a fried bologna sandwich.
I prefer thicker slices than this, but you get the idea.

Grilled too.  And yes, the bologna has to be thick cut. 

[roamer_1]

Is there such a thing as too many dill pickle chips?

All I know is the restaraunt never puts enough on... two sad little dill chips. What's up with that?

[bigheadfred]

All I know is the restaraunt never puts enough on... two sad little dill chips. What's up with that?

Way back I was a swing manager in a Mickey d's. a guy ordered and asked for extra pickles. I could sense his addiction. I put as many on as I could. He came back and I think he would have hugged me if he could have outrun me.

[roamer_1]

Way back I was a swing manager in a Mickey d's. a guy ordered and asked for extra pickles. I could sense his addiction. I put as many on as I could. He came back and I think he would have hugged me if he could have outrun me.

I eat over to the Bojangles, or at Sykes Diner... All them pretty little waitresses know better that to give me two dang ol dill chips...

Same with french fries - If you can count em, there ain't enough.

[bigheadfred]

I eat over to the Bojangles, or at Sykes Diner... All them pretty little waitresses know better that to give me two dang ol dill chips...

Same with french fries - If you can count em, there ain't enough.

You got fry sauce up there? Mayo/ketchup mixed? If you do and like it, make some with Heinz 57 instead of ketchup.

[roamer_1]

You got fry sauce up there? Mayo/ketchup mixed? If you do and like it, make some with Heinz 57 instead of ketchup.

YUP... With just a bit of mustard, and a squirt of Siracha... Or Franks - I put that sh*t on everything.
 

[Smokin Joe]

Hey buddy! You gonna finish that?

[mountaineer]

LeBron James farts at fans after they ask for his autograph
By Jon Levine
November 23, 2019 | 12:44pm | Updated

The King has tooted.

Basketball star LeBron James responded to a fan request for an autograph by farting at him while leaving an Oklahoma steakhouse.

LeBron and fellow basketballer Chris Paul were leaving the Mohagany Prime Steakhouse in Oklahoma City when the fans, who were recording the encounter, approached.

Before entering a waiting SUV, James lifted his leg and offered a burst of flatulence so loud it was picked by the camera’s audio from the other side of the parking lot, TMZ reported.

It’s been a banner week for farting news, with Rep. Eric Swalwell also making national headlines after what appeared to be a loud fart during a live interview with MSNBC host Chris Matthews.

The network later said the sound was not a fart but was in fact caused by Matthews dragging his coffee cup across the desk.

NY Post

I saw the Swalwell video. That was no coffee cup. The above link has the James video. Bleah! Too much flatulence! Maybe AOC can tell Bronnie to tone it down - for the environment.

[Applewood]

LeBron has such class.   

The congressman -- well, that could have been accidental.  Sometimes those things come out without warning. 

[catfish1957]

LeBron has such class.   

He is just another thug example of why I quit watching this sport decades ago.

[corbe]

[sneakypete]

@corbe

If you want to see a crime,see what I do to any weenie waver I catch coming out of a girls restroom.

[roamer_1]

Sometimes those things come out without warning.

Well yeah... But then it's no longer a fart.