Ridiculous News of the Day

[Hoodat]

Ah...

There once was a man from Adair
who tried to make love on the stair. .  .

Oh goody.  Are limericks back on?

[roamer_1]

Sounds like he came before he went...

 

[roamer_1]

Oh goody.  Are limericks back on?

Forgive me... It is the tamest one I know, and so very apropos....
 

[jmyrlefuller]

Two Amish men escape police after being pulled over for drinking and driving their horse and buggy

https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/us/amish-men-drinking-and-driving-trnd/index.html

It happens a lot more than you realize.

[sneakypete]

@jmyrlefuller

Hermsdorfer turned the horse over to a local farmer until the two men came forward. The sheriff's department has attempted to call different people to pick up the horse, but no one has answered the phone, according to the report.

Amish people have phones?

[Cyber Liberty]

@jmyrlefuller

Amish people have phones?

And computers with internet connections.

[Sanguine]

@jmyrlefuller

Amish people have phones?

Just not in their homes.

[Smokin Joe]

It happens a lot more than you realize.

Yeah, but the horse knows the way home.

A guy here got a DUI on a mule, and tried the same defense (the mule knew where it was going). It didn't work.

[sneakypete]

And computers with internet connections.

@Cyber Liberty

I have to admit I am surprised. Never known any practicing Amish,but I have known a few Mennonites,and I would be surprised if any of them own computers.

[roamer_1]

@Cyber Liberty

I have to admit I am surprised. Never known any practicing Amish,but I have known a few Mennonites,and I would be surprised if any of them own computers.

Amish here have a study center where they would have phones and internet in order to communicate for business.

The Mennonites and Hutterites around here are just like you and me, having phones and internet like anyone else.

[Cyber Liberty]

Amish here have a study center where they would have phones and internet in order to communicate for business.

The Mennonites and Hutterites around here are just like you and me, having phones and internet like anyone else.

It's for business.  They sell a crapton of good furniture.

[roamer_1]

It's for business.  They sell a crapton of good furniture.

That's right - I have one of their infra-red electric heaters in a beautiful cherry-wood case... Fixin to buy another one to build into the bench going in the shed/shop... That little heater will keep that shed way above freezing... Nice even though I have a wood stove for when I am out there...
 

[verga]

Amish here have a study center where they would have phones and internet in order to communicate for business.

The Mennonites and Hutterites around here are just like you and me, having phones and internet like anyone else.

Because the Mennonite church does not have a singular head the local leaders have a lot of latitude as to what they will allow and won't.

[roamer_1]

Because the Mennonite church does not have a singular head the local leaders have a lot of latitude as to what they will allow and won't.

Which is why I said 'around here'. 

[Gefn]

A woman risked her life when she climbed into an enclosure at the Bronx Zoo in New York and appeared to taunt a lion inside. Police are still looking for the intruder, according to CBS New York.

Video of the woman's reckless romp with a lion was posted on Instagram over the weekend. The woman is seen waving and dancing

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bronx-zoo-lion-woman-climbs-into-exhibit-at-new-york-bronx-zoo-appears-to-taunt-lion-caught-on-camera-instagram/

[verga]

A woman risked her life when she climbed into an enclosure at the Bronx Zoo in New York and appeared to taunt a lion inside. Police are still looking for the intruder, according to CBS New York.

Video of the woman's reckless romp with a lion was posted on Instagram over the weekend. The woman is seen waving and dancing

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bronx-zoo-lion-woman-climbs-into-exhibit-at-new-york-bronx-zoo-appears-to-taunt-lion-caught-on-camera-instagram/

And if the lion had attacked/ killer her, they would have shot the lion. I am willing to be that either drugs or alcohol was involved.

[mountaineer]

PICTURED: Woman, 38, wearing a bag of meth as a hair BOW is pulled over by cop for a traffic stop

    Jessica Bernice Kropp, 38, was caught wearing a bag of methamphetamine as a bow in her hair in Flippin, Arkansas
    Kropp used a rubber band to bind the bag in a bow-like shape and clipped it to her hair with a bobby pin
    The discovery was made by an officer who pulled her over for routine traffic stop on the evening of September 24
    She initially claimed she didn't know the bow was there and that someone put it in her hair without her knowledge
    The officer found multiple bags of methamphetamine and other drug paraphernalia after searching the vehicle
    She was booked at the Marion County Sheriff's Office and given a $22,530 bond

By Lauren Edmonds For Dailymail.com
Published: 10:49 EDT, 4 October 2019 | Updated: 11:02 EDT, 4 October 2019

An Arkansas woman has been arrested after cops found  bag of methamphetamine dressed up as a bow in her hair.

Flippin police officer Kenneth Looney pulled over Jessica Bernice Kropp and found the drug inspired hair piece on September 24.  ...  Full story at Daily Mail

[Sanguine]

"Flippin, Arkansas"   

[mountaineer]

"Flippin, Arkansas"   

NOT Florida! omg

[sneakypete]

NOT Florida! omg

@mountaineer

There is a difference?

[mountaineer]

Southwest flight attendant caught pilots watching bathroom livestream: suit
By Ben Feuerherd
October 25, 2019 | 9:59pm

A flight attendant for Southwest Airlines says in a shocking new lawsuit that she caught two pilots streaming hidden-camera footage into the cockpit — live, from the airplane’s bathroom, a report said Friday.

Attendant Renee Steinaker alleges in her lawsuit that she discovered the sick surveillance during a 2017 flight from Pittsburgh to Phoenix, Arizona Central reported.

At some point during the flight, the pilot, Capt. Terry Graham, asked her to come to the cockpit so he could go to the bathroom, the suit alleges.  ...

Steinaker noticed an iPad on the windshield showing a livestream video playing on it of Graham in the bathroom, according to the report. ...

Full story at NY Post

[mountaineer]

Man Hurt in Golf Cart Crash at Maryland Nudist Resort
By Associated Press and NBC Washington Staff
Published 3 hours ago

A man was hurt this weekend in a golf cart crash at a nudist resort in Anne Arundel County, Maryland.

The man crashed into a tree Saturday afternoon at the Maryland Health Society, The Capital Gazette reported. The group is the oldest nonprofit, clothing-optional health resort and campground in the country, its website says. ...

He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Man-Hurt-in-Golf-Cart-Crash-at-Maryland-Nudist-Resort-563970311.html

No helmet!

[Applewood]

@mountaineer

He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.

Did he have anything to protect his...uh...balls? 

[Applewood]

Not sure where to put this, but it has made national news and I thought it might qualify as ridiculous:

Pittsburgh bus with passenger aboard swallowed by massive sinkhole

The morning commute was more of a struggle than usual for commuters in the Steel City Monday, after a large sinkhole opened up in downtown Pittsburgh and swallowed part of a bus.

The Port Authority of Allegheny County said the incident happened on Penn Avenue at 10th Street during the height of the morning rush hour, when the sinkhole opened up and swallowed the back section of the bus.

Photos from the scene showed the entire rear of the bus in the sinkhole, with the front part of the vehicle sticking up in the air.

More of the story and a photo of the bus at:
https://www.foxnews.com/us/sinkhole-bus-pittsburgh-swallowed-pennsylvania

[thackney]

Not sure where to put this, but it has made national news and I thought it might qualify as ridiculous:

Pittsburgh bus with passenger aboard swallowed by massive sinkhole

More of the story and a photo of the bus at:
https://www.foxnews.com/us/sinkhole-bus-pittsburgh-swallowed-pennsylvania

First sinkhole I have seen with perfectly straight and square lines.

[GtHawk]

First sinkhole I have seen with perfectly straight and square lines.

Damn those 3D street artists are making those drawings of hole more realistic all the time!

[Applewood]

@GtHawk

I think you're looking at a shadow of the bus on the street.  This video has a closeup of the bus -- the hole is more irregular here:

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/10/28/port-authority-bus-sinkhole-downtown-pittsburgh/

[berdie]

@mountaineer

Did he have anything to protect his...uh...balls?

It does give one a thought, doesn't it?

[mountaineer]

@Applewood  I've been laughing about the PAT bus ever since this morning. Glad no one was hurt, but it really is kind of funny.

[Wingnut]

@mountaineer

Did he have anything to protect his...uh...balls?

Hope the shaft on his putter wasn't damaged.

[Smokin Joe]

It does give one a thought, doesn't it?

Maybe they were in his golf bag...

[Smokin Joe]

@GtHawk

I think you're looking at a shadow of the bus on the street.  This video has a closeup of the bus -- the hole is more irregular here:

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/10/28/port-authority-bus-sinkhole-downtown-pittsburgh/

Examining the available images at the link, the straight lines are the result of pavement parting at seams created by when the pavement was laid down (the machines that lay the surfacing material lay a strip roughly a lane wide). If there is an electrical vault and gas lines beneath, there was a structural failure in the subsurface construction which may or may not be related to natural processes.

[Applewood]

@Applewood  I've been laughing about the PAT bus ever since this morning. Glad no one was hurt, but it really is kind of funny.

While I was looking for a better photo for @GtHawk I found several other stories about buses falling into sinkholes, including one story from Japan.  I guess this happens more often than we think. 

[Applewood]

Examining the available images at the link, the straight lines are the result of pavement parting at seams created by when the pavement was laid down (the machines that lay the surfacing material lay a strip roughly a lane wide). If there is an electrical vault and gas lines beneath, there was a structural failure in the subsurface construction which may or may not be related to natural processes.

Thanks for the explanation.  You know more about this stuff than I.  Actually, I was thinking the cause might be a water main break or underground pipe burst    The City of Pittsburgh has an antiquated water system.  Used to have water main breaks only in winter; now it's year round. And that's on top of periodic problems with the water itself, necessitating boil water advisories and sometimes shutoffs.   No money and no desire to fix the system or to upgrade it.  At one point it was suggested that the city transfer responsibility for the water system to a private company, but the powers that be put the kabosh on that idea.  Where I live in the 'burbs, we have a private water company which keeps our water and the mains and pipelines in top condition. 

And yes, the street is probably in bad shape.  Pittsburgh, like most of Pennsylvania, has awful roads.  When they fix or build a road, they use the cheapest materials they can find.  Roads are always being dug up and fixed, but a few months later, they have to be fixed again.  Sometimes when there is no money, a bad road can be in disrepair for months or years. 

it will be interesting to see and hear what the investigators determine as the cause. 

[mountaineer]

If there is an electrical vault and gas lines beneath, there was a structural failure in the subsurface construction which may or may not be related to natural processes.

The bus is still in the hole. Officials are trying to determine the status of underground gas, electric, water, etc., lines.

...  “The problem that we’re having is that we have to lift that Port Authority bus straight up, because we have a Duquesne Light electrical vault involved, we have several gas lines involved and we don’t want to create any further problems than what we have now. Traffic is going to be a problem for the next eight to 10 hours. I know that we have a Steelers game tonight.”

The sinkhole is about 20 feet deep.

Authorities say the bus is sitting on three major power lines. Those will need to be turned off before the bus can be removed. During that process, some downtown businesses could lose power, and at least one is already without water. ...

KDKA

[GtHawk]

@GtHawk

I think you're looking at a shadow of the bus on the street.  This video has a closeup of the bus -- the hole is more irregular here:

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/10/28/port-authority-bus-sinkhole-downtown-pittsburgh/

No I was actually making a joke, kinda like in the cartoons where the Coyote paints a tunnel on a a cliff and the Roadrunner runs through it -- But obviously it came across a lot more irregular where you are

[Applewood]

In case anyone cares, here is a report and video of the bus being lifted out of the sinkhole:

https://www.wtae.com/article/pittsburgh-sinkhole-port-authority-bus/29607762

And @GtHawk you were right.  The hole was more squared than I thought.  You can see it better in the second aerial view video at the link. 

[Gefn]

That was a big sink hole

[mountaineer]

It happens.

Deputies: Man Stabs Woman Over Fear She Would ‘Feed Him To Zombies’
October 29, 2019 at 4:33 pm

MONETTA, S.C. (CBS Local) — A South Carolina man allegedly stabbed a woman because he feared she would feed him to zombies, according to investigators.

William Berry, 29, of Aiken was arrested Saturday in Monetta after a woman was stabbed five or six times in the back, according to an Aiken County Sheriff’s Office incident report. ...

Berry allegedly told deputies he “poked someone” because “they were trying to feed him to zombies and being mean to him,” according to the incident report. ...

Rest of story

[sneakypete]

It happens.Rest of story

@mountaineer

Well,ya can't blame him for that. Nobody wants to get fed to zombies.

[Wingnut]

Oh goody.  Are limericks back on?

There once-ler from Nantucket.
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named San FranNan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nanfucket.

[Cyber Liberty]

It happens.Rest of story

Bath salts?

[verga]

Bath salts?

There is a local place the youth hangout to do various foolish youthful pursuits. There is rather tall rock face that a former student decided to "fly off of" after taking bath salts. It took about 5-6 of her "friends" to hold her back so she wouldn't. This was the straw that broke the camels back for her parents to finally get her some help.

[Smokin Joe]

There is a local place the youth hangout to do various foolish youthful pursuits. There is rather tall rock face that a former student decided to "fly off of" after taking bath salts. It took about 5-6 of her "friends" to hold her back so she wouldn't. This was the straw that broke the camels back for her parents to finally get her some help.

At least she didn't try to eat their faces...

[mountaineer]

At least she didn't try to eat their faces...

Yeah, that seems to be a typical effect of the drug.

[mountaineer]

 Woman cracks mother’s skull with crucifix during fight: report
By Ben Feuerherd
October 29, 2019

 A Texas woman attacked her mother with a crucifix on Sunday, repeatedly hitting her in the head and fracturing her skull, a report said.

The suspect, 25-year-old Christian Lydia Martinez, got into a fight with her 45-year-old mother after she came home after a day of drinking in San Antonio, the Smoking Gun reported.

During the fight, Martinez allegedly grabbed a crucifix from the wall and socked her mother in the head with it, according to the report.  ... NY Post

[verga]

Woman cracks mother’s skull with crucifix during fight: report
By Ben Feuerherd
October 29, 2019

 A Texas woman attacked her mother with a crucifix on Sunday, repeatedly hitting her in the head and fracturing her skull, a report said.

The suspect, 25-year-old Christian Lydia Martinez, got into a fight with her 45-year-old mother after she came home after a day of drinking in San Antonio, the Smoking Gun reported.

During the fight, Martinez allegedly grabbed a crucifix from the wall and socked her mother in the head with it, according to the report.  ... NY Post

I am confused, which one was out all night drinking?

[mountaineer]

I am confused, which one was out all night drinking?

I believe it was the daughter.

[mountaineer]

The Number Two Tavern is world’s first poo-powered pub
Steven Adams | Thursday, November 7, 2019 1:44 p.m.

It may look like a traditional Yorkshire pub but it’s flush with new technology.

The Number Two Tavern in Leeds, England, is a pop-up demonstration of a cutting-edge energy production using power created by anaerobic digestion, according to Yorkshire Water. The process converts sewage into biogas that can generate heat and electricity.

Visitors may pooh-pooh the limited menu, offering nothing but water. But visitors can quench their thirst while posing for photos with a prop toilet. ...


Rest of story

[Cyber Liberty]

The Number Two Tavern is world’s first poo-powered pub
Steven Adams | Thursday, November 7, 2019 1:44 p.m.

This is Ridiculous!  Whoever heard of a proper "Tavern" that serves only water?  Water would be the one thing I would not want from there!  That sounds like a place where only the distilled spirits are safe.