The Briefing Room

Members Only area => Jokes and Humor => Topic started by: bigheadfred on February 25, 2017, 03:01:31 pm

Title: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on February 25, 2017, 03:01:31 pm
A dog in Florida was accused this week of accidentally shooting a sleeping woman in the leg.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/02/24/florida-man-accuses-dog-shooting-girlfriend-in-leg.amp.html
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 14, 2019, 05:03:14 pm
The Adventures of Florida Man
A repository for all Florida Man stories.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 14, 2019, 05:05:01 pm
(post inadvertently overwritten, will try to retrieve)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 14, 2019, 07:54:20 pm
Actual Esquire article: (https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26899191/florida-man-headlines-2019/)
Quote
The 90 Wildest Florida Man Headlines of 2019 (So Far)
Whatever insanity is happening in your state, Florida has done it with an alligator and possibly some amphetamines.
By Justin Kirkland   
Apr 1, 2019  ...
Apparently, there's a new one every day. This is just March 30's:
Quote
Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin
By: Bob D'Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk
Updated: Mar 30, 2019 - 2:57 AM

... The victim told police she was in the backyard of a home when Dankner asked her to dress his mannequin, the television station reported. When the woman refused, Dankner allegedly blocked her path back into the house.  ...

The victim told police Dankner hit her several times in the head with a wooden stool and stuffed dumplings into her mouth, causing her to have difficulty breathing, the television station reported.  ...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on April 15, 2019, 11:39:52 am
BKMK
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 11:51:18 am
This morning's Florida Man story:
Quote
Florida Man Driving at 100 MPH Tells Cop 'The Car is a Ferrari and it Goes Fast,' Passenger Gets Him in More Trouble
By Jason Murdock On 4/15/19 at 5:35 AM EDT

A Florida man who told police he was speeding because his sports car “goes fast” was hit with a felony charge this weekend after a passenger in the vehicle claimed he had ignored the patrol car siren of an in-pursuit deputy, the local police department has said.

Gabriel Molina, age 29, of Miami, was behind the wheel of a 2016 Ferrari and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour (mph) while allegedly fleeing from Upper Keys police sergeant Robert Dosh on Sunday. ...
Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-ferrari-speeding-miami-monroe-county-sheriffs-office-mile-marker-1396066)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 01:52:51 pm
I love Florida Man stories. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 02:00:48 pm
I love Florida Man stories.
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 02:02:49 pm
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

 888high58888
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 02:03:16 pm
Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta
Ben Padgett, 32, was arrested on April 7 for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.

According to an arrest report, police responded to a disturbance call at the restaurant and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities." He was not wearing a shirt.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on April 15, 2019, 02:17:08 pm
...and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities....

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 02:54:55 pm
So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 02:59:01 pm
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Isn't the lack of a shirt an extenuating circumstance? 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 15, 2019, 03:10:15 pm
Is Florida Man doing the crazy stunts other Americans are unwilling to do to entertain the general American public?
I say it's time for other Americans to do their bit and perform the weird things Florida Man  has been doing over and above  what is called for by the average American.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 08:06:54 pm
Florida man charged with shooting woman with a gun he filled with urine
An elderly man who squirted a woman with urine while she was walking her dog was arrested in Florida over the weekend — and he’s not sorry.

Gulfport police reportedly picked up Joel Benjamin, 71, on Saturday after he used a squirt gun to soak a 50-year-old woman passing by his house.


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 15, 2019, 08:29:09 pm
Bookmarking...  :pop41:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on April 15, 2019, 08:49:50 pm
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on April 15, 2019, 09:39:59 pm
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.



Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on April 15, 2019, 10:11:11 pm
   You're probably absolutely correct @berdie
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 10:13:34 pm


Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777

I sure hope not.   :thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 16, 2019, 10:47:34 am
Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family's yard
Collier County deputies said Michael Burke was attempting to break into multiple homes in the 3100 hundred block of Barrett Avenue when a neighbor spotted him and called deputies.

Neighbors said Burke was scared off by dogs, but not scared enough to stop him from going into their backyard and relieving himself.


https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard (https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard)

(Au contraire... they literally scared the crap out of him.)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 11:47:56 am
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 11:49:47 am
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

Of course, that would be both beautiful and crazy all at the same time.

(Whoops, did I say that out loud?).

I'm going to hide now.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 16, 2019, 01:19:38 pm
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

I don't Google, but I Ixquiked mine and got: "Florida Man Arrested For Beating Drag Queen With Tiki Torch While Dressed as Member of KKK, Now Running For Mayor"   :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on April 16, 2019, 02:03:33 pm
Oops! Florida man mistakenly swiped laxatives, not opioids: report (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/david-whitley/os-ae-opioids-laxative-david-whitley-0128-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 17, 2019, 10:44:08 am
Florida man arrested after being filmed wrestling fake alligator at mall

Gianny Sosa-Hernandez was charged with criminal mischief after damaging the display alligator at The Falls Shopping Center in Miami-Dade County, according to the Miami-Dade Police Department.

In the video, Sosa-Hernandez, 18, is seen removing his sweatshirt and running to the side of the display. He then jumps over the barrier, throwing the fake alligator off a rock and into the display's pond. Sosa-Hernandez picks up the alligator before performing a wrestling move on it that police identified as an R.K.O, a move popularized by WWE wrestler Randy Orton. He then pretends to pin the gator.

Police said the manager of the mall confirmed that the alligator, which was valued at $3,690, was damaged from the March 30 incident.


https://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-teenager-arrested-filmed-wrestling-fake-alligator-mall/story?id=62429533
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 17, 2019, 01:57:46 pm
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 17, 2019, 07:08:28 pm
@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.

LOL, none that I know, that's for sure.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: andy58-in-nh on April 17, 2019, 07:31:18 pm
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated:   12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019       

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday. 
 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.
 
As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.
 
Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.
 
Plaster faces battery charges.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 17, 2019, 11:26:39 pm
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, ...

John Plaster Jr??????

Hmmm,wonder if his daddy is from Mn?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 18, 2019, 03:21:41 am
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated:   12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019       

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday. 
 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.
 
As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.
 
Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.
 
Plaster faces battery charges.
It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually  blow over. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 18, 2019, 03:34:52 am
It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually  blow over.

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 18, 2019, 11:16:59 am
Florida man, 80, captures huge alligator
An 80-year-old Florida man took matters into his own hands when a huge alligator walked into his backyard Tuesday afternoon.

Ed Chapman, from Miami-Dade County, tried to catch the 6-and-a-half-foot gator himself before he had to call in backup from police and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, local outlet 7News reported.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/huge-alligator-80-year-old-florida-man (https://www.foxnews.com/us/huge-alligator-80-year-old-florida-man)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 18, 2019, 11:19:40 am
Florida man attacks neighbors with frying pan, lamp pole, deputies say
51-year-old Gerald Lee Thornton Jr. had been evicted from his home and got into a fight with his neighbors in the 11000 block of Edison Avenue on Friday night.

One of the neighbors told deputies that Thornton chased him with a frying pan and hit him in the left side, according to a complaint affidavit. The man took the frying pan from Thornton and punched Thornton multiple times in the head.

Thornton got up and hit a second man in the back of the head with a lamp pole, according to the affidavit.


https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article229268284.html (https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article229268284.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Bigun on April 18, 2019, 02:01:42 pm
Florida man gets his ass beat by a grandma with a baseball bat!

Florida great-grandma fends off 300-pound burglar with a baseball bat: cops (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-grandma-300-pound-underwear-burglar-baseball-bat?fbclid=IwAR0Ao4jtIO8S05RGftqownoyIGr5H9dZqlzHBuyv4XrnLx1kmADkio3Euio)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 18, 2019, 03:00:44 pm
Sic,'em,Granny!

I will only add you need to get a couple of your grandsons to come stay with you for a while in case he tries to get his homies to come after you. I'd really hate to read that you get hurt over this.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 20, 2019, 12:09:03 am
Florida man pretends to be cop, pulls over actual cop, gets arrested
Matthew Joseph Erris, from Pasco County, Florida, clearly wanted to give the impression that he was a police officer. On the top of his Chevy Trailblazer was a police light bar and there were even red and blue lights on the vehicle’s grill.

On Tuesday night, he got so into character that he flashed his fake police lights at a car in front, signally for them to pull over. But he chose the wrong person to pull over, WFLA reported. The occupant of the car in front was a real-life police detective, working undercover. He promptly called 911 and alerted other officers, who caught up with Erris a short time later.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pretends-be-cop-pulls-over-cop-pretending-be-civilian-gets-1401043 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pretends-be-cop-pulls-over-cop-pretending-be-civilian-gets-1401043)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 20, 2019, 01:38:18 am
Florida man misspells ‘‘school’’—painting a school parking lot
A road crew in Florida should get an "F'' for spelling.

A motorist on Thursday spotted the error, realizing that workers in Doral had made a mistake when painting the word "school" at a pedestrian crossing in the road.

Instead of S-C-H-O-O-L, it was spelled S-C-O-H-O-L.


https://www.wivb.com/news/national/oh-florida-road-crew-misspells-school-on-crosswalk/1938783514 (https://www.wivb.com/news/national/oh-florida-road-crew-misspells-school-on-crosswalk/1938783514)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on April 20, 2019, 01:46:16 am
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought (https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 20, 2019, 01:51:40 am
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought (https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought)

Some of those are really good:

Quote
...#21 Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property

#22 Florida man caught abusing young alligator, putting cigarette in its mouth

#23 Florida man arrested after traffic crash found with ‘fake urine,’ says it’s for ‘role play’ with spouse

#24 Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911

#25 Florida man tried to bring replica grenade launcher on plane, TSA says

#26 Florida man uses fake ID, steals $41K in dental implants, $10K for French bulldog

#27 Florida man denies syringes found in rectum are his

#28 Florida man threatens to kill man ‘with kindness,’ uses machete named ‘Kindness’

#29 Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen

#30 Florida man escapes alligator by punching it in the face while searching for golf balls...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 22, 2019, 11:00:39 am
Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct
Jack Dylan Evans, 44, was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly yelling at a female staffer at the Down The Hatch bar in Pinellas Park about his intentions to have sex with her. Later, Evans continued his disorderly behavior by groping the buttocks of the female fingerprint technician at Pinellas County jail who was processing him, according to a police report.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-gropes-fingerprint-technician-after-being-arrested-disorderly-1402352 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-gropes-fingerprint-technician-after-being-arrested-disorderly-1402352)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 22, 2019, 01:29:38 pm
Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct
When ya just gots ta have it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 22, 2019, 01:57:03 pm
 :2popcorn:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 22, 2019, 04:21:11 pm
I have to believe there's a reality tv series with the Florida Man theme.

(https://coxrare.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/rare-21.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 23, 2019, 02:39:36 pm
Quote
Florida man in Easter bunny costume caught in viral brawl reveals who he is, why he hopped into action

A costumed stranger fighting for justice removed his mask Monday -- but it wasn't Bruce Wayne revealing he's Batman or Peter Parker confessing he's Spider-Man.

It turns out the person seen in an Easter bunny outfit brawling with two others this weekend in a viral video has a familiar identity: Florida man.

...“Only in Florida. only in Orlando you see a bunny fighting. You’ve got to pull your phone out,” the promoter told FOX35....

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained)

With video.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 24, 2019, 10:21:52 pm
Florida man, 72, stabbed nephew for hogging bathroom
Authorities say a 72-year-old Florida man repeatedly stabbed his nephew because he was taking too long in the bathroom.

Volusia County Sheriff's deputies and DeLand police arrived Tuesday to find the 29-year-old victim with wounds in his stomach and back. Investigators said the victim lives in his vehicle in his father's driveway and that his father allows him to use the bathroom.


https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-stabbed-nephew-for-hogging-bathroom-509024511.html (https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-stabbed-nephew-for-hogging-bathroom-509024511.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Free Vulcan on April 28, 2019, 05:35:12 pm
Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.


https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 28, 2019, 07:48:39 pm
Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.


https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1
I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 28, 2019, 09:33:41 pm
I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?

 :raise hand:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: EdJames on April 28, 2019, 10:40:48 pm
Florida man contracts flesh-eating bacteria while fishing in Gulf of Mexico

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121 (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121)

A Florida man out fishing off the coast of Palm Harbor in the Gulf of Mexico contracted an infection with flesh-eating bacteria last Saturday.

WFTS reported Ozona, Florida, native Mike Walton is being treated for flesh-eating disease known as necrotizing fasciitis.

Walton was stuck by a fish hook on Saturday. By the next day, his hand had grown swollen and black blisters had grown. He was rushed to the burn unit once at the Tampa General Hospital. Luckily, they were able to save his life and his arm, which risked amputation.


(https://accuweather.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0c34767/2147483647/resize/590x/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Faccuweather-bsp.s3.amazonaws.com%2F70%2F8d%2Fc54f296e4cdebdf84d4279d7a927%2Fmike-walton.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 28, 2019, 11:41:25 pm
Florida man contracts flesh-eating bacteria while fishing in Gulf of Mexico

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121 (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121)

A Florida man out fishing off the coast of Palm Harbor in the Gulf of Mexico contracted an infection with flesh-eating bacteria last Saturday.

WFTS reported Ozona, Florida, native Mike Walton is being treated for flesh-eating disease known as necrotizing fasciitis.

Walton was stuck by a fish hook on Saturday. By the next day, his hand had grown swollen and black blisters had grown. He was rushed to the burn unit once at the Tampa General Hospital. Luckily, they were able to save his life and his arm, which risked amputation.


(https://accuweather.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0c34767/2147483647/resize/590x/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Faccuweather-bsp.s3.amazonaws.com%2F70%2F8d%2Fc54f296e4cdebdf84d4279d7a927%2Fmike-walton.jpg)

@EdJames

That is some serious stuff. I had a boil at the base of my scrotum that apparently "burst inside" and infect my blood. Scrotum swole up 3 or more times it's normal size,and when it burst,it leaked black pus that smelled like the grave. I was running a fever of 103 when I got to the hospital ER so I wasn't thinking very clearly,but it was about 5 AM on a Sunday morning,and everybody started panicking. The surgeon made me sign a release giving him the authority to castrate me if necessary before they would operate,and they cut my clothes off and burned them.

They didn't have to castrate me,and I honestly think the surgeon was happier about this than I was. 2 years later he would see me someplace in town and come up with a big smile on  his face and congratulate me for surviving the operation.

I was cut from top to bottom,and stitched back together from top to bottom. I was in intensive care for 12 days because they had to leave drain holes and monitor me to make sure they cut it all out. The surgeon later told me about having to amputate the leg at the hip of a 15 year old girl to save her life because she got an infection below her knee.

Yeah,this is some serious stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: EdJames on April 29, 2019, 12:07:40 am
@EdJames

That is some serious stuff. I had a boil at the base of my scrotum that apparently "burst inside" and infect my blood. Scrotum swole up 3 or more times it's normal size,and when it burst,it leaked black pus that smelled like the grave. I was running a fever of 103 when I got to the hospital ER so I wasn't thinking very clearly,but it was about 5 AM on a Sunday morning,and everybody started panicking. The surgeon made me sign a release giving him the authority to castrate me if necessary before they would operate,and they cut my clothes off and burned them.

They didn't have to castrate me,and I honestly think the surgeon was happier about this than I was. 2 years later he would see me someplace in town and come up with a big smile on  his face and congratulate me for surviving the operation.

I was cut from top to bottom,and stitched back together from top to bottom. I was in intensive care for 12 days because they had to leave drain holes and monitor me to make sure they cut it all out. The surgeon later told me about having to amputate the leg at the hip of a 15 year old girl to save her life because she got an infection below her knee.

Yeah,this is some serious stuff.

@sneakypete

I thought it was notable because I never realized that these "flesh eating" bacterias were out in a place like the Gulf of Mexico.  I always heard about people getting them while they were in hospitals.

Do you know what kind of infection you had?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 29, 2019, 01:41:59 am
@sneakypete

I thought it was notable because I never realized that these "flesh eating" bacterias were out in a place like the Gulf of Mexico.  I always heard about people getting them while they were in hospitals.

Do you know what kind of infection you had?

"Flesh-Eating Bacteria". Not the scientific name,but the common name. It seems to be real common around the warmer regions of the Atlantic Ocean,with lots of cases near Miami.

Although that boil on my scrotum had been coming and going for years. I can't even remember when I first had trouble with it. It would get infected,burst on the outside,and a little pus and blood would drain away and it would clear up. This time it burst on the inside and got into my blood stream.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 02, 2019, 02:51:30 pm
Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne
After he was kicked out of the Barbara S. Ponce Public Library in Pinellas Park for causing a disturbance, the man identified himself to police as Jason Bourne, the fictional super-spy created by author Robert Ludlum and portrayed in the movies by Matt Damon, News4Jax reported.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/drunk-florida-man-jason-bourne (https://www.foxnews.com/us/drunk-florida-man-jason-bourne)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 02, 2019, 02:53:20 pm
Florida man claims sexual role-play led to shootout
“On 2/13/19, (my wife) and I were role playing in one of our many adventures. Absolutely no crimes were committed and I certainly didn’t do anything to hurt her,” Gray wrote. “In our role-playing adventures, we have traveled, purchased specific items, added other members, and have acted the part in our videos.”

https://www.wflx.com/2019/05/01/florida-man-claims-sexual-role-play-led-shootout/ (https://www.wflx.com/2019/05/01/florida-man-claims-sexual-role-play-led-shootout/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 03, 2019, 12:08:13 pm
Video catches Florida man in bonnet hiding 28 cans of baby formula under dress, cops say
By Jared Gilmour
May 02, 2019 06:23 PM, Updated May 02, 2019 06:23 PM
Miami Herald (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229957744.html#storylink=cpy)

A Florida man was caught on video hiding stolen baby formula under his dress at a Cape Coral grocery store last week, and he’s suspected of similar crimes at other stores, police said.

Officers responded to the reported theft at a Publix in Cape Coral on Saturday, and were told that a man had been riding a motorized cart around the store around 9:40 p.m. when he grabbed 28 cans of Enfamil baby formula and stuffed them under the long red and purple flowered dress that he was wearing, police said in a news release on Thursday.  ...

[video at link]
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 03, 2019, 01:33:14 pm
Florida man can also be a good guy...well, sort of:

Quote
Florida man gave ‘baby cheetah’ to fire station — but it was another type of wild cat

The small cat that a Florida man discovered this week wasn’t the baby cheetah he suspected it was.

But the man wasn’t wrong that it was a wild animal, according to Orlando authorities.

On Thursday, the man dropped off the kitten at fire station seven in Orlando, telling firefighters there at around 9 a.m. that “he found it in the area and didn’t know what to do,” fire department spokesperson Ashley Papagni wrote in an email to McClatchy....

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229719094.html#storylink=related_inline (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229719094.html#storylink=related_inline)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 03, 2019, 02:19:52 pm
Florida man can also be a good guy...well, sort of:

@Sanguine

Just from looking at the photo I would have guessed it was just a tabby cat kitten. Looks nothing like a Bob Cat to me.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 05, 2019, 05:42:52 pm
Wanted Florida man hoped blonde wig would disguise him from deputies as he biked away
Florida fugitive wanted on drug charges tried to elude deputies surrounding the home he was in Thursday by donning a long blonde wig and riding off on a bicycle, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office said.

The wig didn't work, and agents caught up with and arrested Robert “Bobby” Walls soon after watching him ride away, deputies said.

Walls later admitted he put the wig on in hopes that officers wouldn't recognize him and that he'd avoid arrest, deputies said.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 05, 2019, 06:08:24 pm
I'm no expert on disguises,but I suspect it was the beard and the male clothes that gave him away.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 06, 2019, 02:59:30 am
Wanted Florida man hoped blonde wig would disguise him from deputies as he biked away
Florida fugitive wanted on drug charges tried to elude deputies surrounding the home he was in Thursday by donning a long blonde wig and riding off on a bicycle, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office said.

The wig didn't work, and agents caught up with and arrested Robert “Bobby” Walls soon after watching him ride away, deputies said.

Walls later admitted he put the wig on in hopes that officers wouldn't recognize him and that he'd avoid arrest, deputies said.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html)

I think I can see why it didn't work.

(https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2019/05/05/walls-700x420.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 07, 2019, 09:56:01 pm
Florida Man had an eventful weekend:

Quote
‘F*** It, I’m Drunk, Take Me To Jail’: Florida Man Crashes Lawn Mower Into Police Car

HAINES CITY (CBSMiami)- Police officers have to worry about people driving under the influence or boating under the influence, but now, they’ll have to look out for those lawn mowing under the influence.

On May 5, one Florida man was charged with a DUI, or in this case an ‘LUI’,  after he allegedly drove his lawn mower into a police car while drunk.

According to Haines City police, an officer handling another incident inside of a local business in Haines City, in Central Florida, heard a loud noise from outside of the store. When the officer went outside, he found Gary Anderson, 68, behind the wheel of lawn mower and near the officer’s parked police car, which had minor damages to the bumper....

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/07/drunk-florida-man-crashes-lawn-mower-police-car/

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 08, 2019, 03:50:31 am
Florida Man had an eventful weekend:


@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 08, 2019, 04:01:28 am

@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.

She stood by her man, but called the police.   :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 08, 2019, 02:50:35 pm
Florida man arrested after refusing to remove ‘I eat @$$’ bumper sticker

A man was arrested in Florida for refusing to remove a bumper sticker on his vehicle that read “I eat a–,” a report said on Tuesday.

Dillon Shane Webb, 23, was driving a brown Chevrolet truck on Sunday when a deputy noticed the sexually suggestive sticker fastened to the rear window and alerted Webb that it violates a state obscenity law, according to the Lake City Reporter.

Webb responded by claiming that the content of the sticker was “just words,” the report said.


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on May 08, 2019, 02:55:34 pm


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)[/center]

I do too!  Kramer had Assman plates! 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on May 08, 2019, 06:10:51 pm

@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.

If the Possum had this one he might have made it there and back by going via the creek.

(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/59834584_10156328220650496_1129530713280872448_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=6e2becdf65c0ed8ff214663e6b4a5142&oe=5D5C6615)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 05:58:30 pm
Florida man arrested after refusing to remove ‘I eat @$$’ bumper sticker

A man was arrested in Florida for refusing to remove a bumper sticker on his vehicle that read “I eat a–,” a report said on Tuesday.

Dillon Shane Webb, 23, was driving a brown Chevrolet truck on Sunday when a deputy noticed the sexually suggestive sticker fastened to the rear window and alerted Webb that it violates a state obscenity law, according to the Lake City Reporter.

Webb responded by claiming that the content of the sticker was “just words,” the report said.


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)

Update: charges have been dropped.
https://reason.com/2019/05/10/charges-dropped-against-florida-man-because-the-first-amendment-protects-his-i-eat-ass-bumper-sticker/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 06:00:30 pm
Florida man tries to (jokingly) pawn off his son at a pawn shop, triggers massive police response


The single dad was caught on film at a local pawn shop Tuesday, asking the owner if he could pawn his months-old son. After authorities released the footage and began searching for Slocum, the father reached out to let them know it was just a ruse intended for Snapchat.

“This is what I got. I know no one under 18 in here but he’s barely used, seven and a half months old, what do you think he’s worth?” Slocum says in the video, referring to his son, Caden, who was put on the counter in a carrier.


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-manhunt-man-pawn-baby-florida-20190509-ldxaklviqnby5atxwzqy5ht32m-story.html?yptr=yahoo (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-manhunt-man-pawn-baby-florida-20190509-ldxaklviqnby5atxwzqy5ht32m-story.html?yptr=yahoo)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on May 10, 2019, 06:01:53 pm
Update: charges have been dropped.
https://reason.com/2019/05/10/charges-dropped-against-florida-man-because-the-first-amendment-protects-his-i-eat-ass-bumper-sticker/

This was a case of "He didn't respect my authority" cop arrest.   Hope this guy sues for abuse by a public safety official..
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 06:02:57 pm
Florida man crashes lawnmower into cop car, says "bleep it. I'm drunk, take me to jail"
Gary Anderson, 68, allegedly crashed his lawn mower into a parked police vehicle on Sunday, May 5 while the officer was tending to an unrelated incident at a business premise in Haines City, in Polk County, Florida, reported Miami CBS Local.

Although the officer did not see the collision, he claims to have heard a loud crash while inside the shop and rushed outside to see Anderson holding the lawn mower in close proximity to the vehicle. The officer also noticed minor damages to the back and bumper of the patrol car, according to the Haines City Police Department.

As the officer confronted Anderson, the suspect immediately admitted to crashing the lawn mower into the cop car and said he was intoxicated. “F*** it, I’m drunk, take me to jail,” he reportedly told the officer.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-68-crashes-lawn-mower-cop-car-tells-police-officer-f-im-drunk-1420389 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-68-crashes-lawn-mower-cop-car-tells-police-officer-f-im-drunk-1420389)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 13, 2019, 01:44:28 pm
Florida man arrested after praising the LORD while highway-surfing his Cadillac, would rather go to jail than go back home to his nagging wife

State troopers recently arrested a Florida man who was caught trying to live out his Titanic movie fantasies and make his heart go on atop a moving vehicle. Local news affiliates report that authorities arrested Leonard Olsen, 70, after an off-duty deputy for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department caught him on video, attempting to “surf” his Cadillac while traveling on the highway with cruise control enabled.

The deputy first noticed Olsen’s Cadillac doing more than 100 miles per hour when it abruptly slowed down to just 40 mph. Then, Olsen supposedly opened the sunroof and propped himself up on top of his moving car while traveling on Interstate 4 in the westbound lane. This prompted the officer to begin recording video on his smartphone.


https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac (https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 13, 2019, 02:05:29 pm
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 13, 2019, 09:48:19 pm
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....
:silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: ABX on May 13, 2019, 10:00:03 pm
Florida man arrested after praising the LORD while highway-surfing his Cadillac, would rather go to jail than go back home to his nagging wife

State troopers recently arrested a Florida man who was caught trying to live out his Titanic movie fantasies and make his heart go on atop a moving vehicle. Local news affiliates report that authorities arrested Leonard Olsen, 70, after an off-duty deputy for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department caught him on video, attempting to “surf” his Cadillac while traveling on the highway with cruise control enabled.

The deputy first noticed Olsen’s Cadillac doing more than 100 miles per hour when it abruptly slowed down to just 40 mph. Then, Olsen supposedly opened the sunroof and propped himself up on top of his moving car while traveling on Interstate 4 in the westbound lane. This prompted the officer to begin recording video on his smartphone.


https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac (https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac)

The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 13, 2019, 10:04:01 pm
The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.

@ABX

You don't think he has a riding mower? EVERYBODY in Florida has a riding mower. Most have a 4 wheeler,plus a boat. I had a cousin that beat drunk driving arrests for years by just running down to the closest bar in his boat,and dropping anchor close to shore and then wading in. Sometimes he would just sleep in the open boat until morning when they threw his ass out at closing time.

I ain't saying this guy is a hard-core drunk,but I once caught him drinking Mennen After Shave Lotion.

IF he lasted that long before they tossed him out,that is.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 13, 2019, 10:29:58 pm
The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.

Nothing sad about it, the SOB was clearly in the left lane.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 17, 2019, 02:15:44 pm
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 17, 2019, 02:25:26 pm
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.


This gem had Florida man with the family jewels on display. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: EdJames on May 17, 2019, 07:34:52 pm
Florida Man vs. Florida Man: He wants to trademark ‘Florida Man’ before someone else does.

https://www.tampabay.com/environment/florida-man-vs-florida-man-he-wants-to-trademark-florida-man-before-someone-else-does-20190514/ (https://www.tampabay.com/environment/florida-man-vs-florida-man-he-wants-to-trademark-florida-man-before-someone-else-does-20190514/)

ST. PETERSBURG — For three years, a Florida man named Ryan Davis has run a Florida website called “floridaman.com” that features stories he's aggregated from various publications about the bumbling antics of the Sunshine State's ubiquitous superhero, Florida Man. You know the ones: “Florida Man drives Cadillac from sunroof down highway, says he'd rather go to jail than back to his wife,” and “Florida Man gets beat up by the Easter Bunny," and "Florida Man resists arrest by singing karaoke.”

Lately he's even started making money at it, selling T-shirts and other merchandise bearing slogans such as “Beware of Florida Man.”

Now the St. Petersburg resident has taken the next logical step. He recently applied for a trademark for the term “Florida Man.”

--snip--

According to Largo trademark attorney Bill Larson, Davis can indeed trademark the term "Florida Man" — but only insofar as it's part of a product or service.

"You can only get a trademark registered for a product or service that you sell," he said, pointing out Davis' T-shirts as an example. "If it's a generic term that everyone uses — like escalator or elevator — those would not be able to be registered."

Davis has only just put in his application, so he's still got some time to go before he finds out if his trademark application has been accepted. He said he knows of one other person who has put in an application for the same trademark, so there could be a three-way custody battle over “Florida Man.”

Although Davis' website features a lot of mugshots, he was reluctant to share his own photo with the Times. Incidentally, Davis shares a trait with about two-thirds of Florida's 21 million residents: He's not from Florida. He’s originally from California, which in pre-Internet days used to be considered the weirdest state in the union.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 18, 2019, 02:38:43 pm
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 18, 2019, 02:45:28 pm
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/)

@jmyrlefuller

Hard to believe such a clever and unique seduction plan didn't work,huh?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Right_in_Virginia on May 18, 2019, 04:07:46 pm
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-16-at-7.43.51-AM.png?resize=580%2C580&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 18, 2019, 05:00:22 pm
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-16-at-7.43.51-AM.png?resize=580%2C580&ssl=1)

@Right_in_Virginia

Ok,this guy is now my personal hero!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 18, 2019, 05:01:38 pm
And, I bet he had really defined leg muscles.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on May 18, 2019, 06:45:43 pm
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d4f628551b0a9a61b49ae5e2f19e2a4eb2bc92b1127eb4f1fad956336bea19f.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 22, 2019, 08:35:13 pm
Florida man crashes wedding, cuts in on the bride and groom's first dance, gets arrested
Crashing a wedding can go two ways: you have a great time while enjoying some free drinks and leave without anyone noticing you weren't actually invited or you join the bride and groom during their first dance and get arrested.

Mark Saunderson, 37 of Land O' Lakes, experienced the latter way.

Saunderson invited himself to a wedding reception at the Grand Plaza Hotel on St. Pete Beach Monday evening, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

After walking into the reception, Saunderson cut into the bride and groom's first dance.

When confronted by staff and security, he escaped to the 11th floor of the hotel.


https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-for-crashing-wedding-on-st-pete-beach-during-bride-and-grooms-first-dance (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-for-crashing-wedding-on-st-pete-beach-during-bride-and-grooms-first-dance)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 23, 2019, 05:09:37 pm
Florida man caught on camera bathing in a Wendy's sink
A Snapchat video posted to Facebook on Tuesday showing a person bathing in the sink of a Milton Wendy's has the fast food restaurant in hot water with local residents.

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 29, 2019, 04:09:21 pm
Florida man arrested for hitting mom in head with corn cob

ZEPHYRHILLS, Fla. (FOX 35 ORLANDO) - A man in Pasco County is behind bars after deputies said he hit his mother in the head with a corn cob.

The incident reportedly happened at a home in Zephyrills around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday.

According to deputies, Cody Cummins, 27, threw a corn cob at his mother, hitting her in the head. Deputies say the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries, according to an arrest report.

http://www.fox5dc.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-hitting-mom-in-head-with-corn-cob (http://www.fox5dc.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-hitting-mom-in-head-with-corn-cob)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 29, 2019, 04:13:40 pm
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

He hurt her feelings?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 29, 2019, 05:08:25 pm
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

Strange line.  Maybe we need to open  a sub-topic for "Floriduh Press?"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 02:39:10 pm
Florida man bit by a snake that came out of the toilet he was using
Baltazar Jimeno, 52, told Coral Springs police that when he went to use the bathroom and lifted up the toilet seat Sunday morning, the python "rose out of the toilet and bit him in his arm," according to a police report.

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/coral-springs/snake-slithers-out-of-coral-springs-mans-toilet-bites-him (https://www.local10.com/news/florida/coral-springs/snake-slithers-out-of-coral-springs-mans-toilet-bites-him)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 30, 2019, 06:16:33 pm
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 11:31:26 pm
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 11:33:35 pm
Florida man took shower in victim's home, wore her clothes then stole her car, police say

A man made himself at home as he stole from a 77-year-old woman, according to police.

The woman said she walked into her home to find a man wearing her clothes while hiding out from police.

The report said 37 -year-old Kristopher Patterson said he was not going to hurt her. He had taken a shower, asked her for a drink, and made a phone call.


https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/florida-man-took-shower-in-victim-s-home-wore-her-clothes-then-stole-her-car-police-say/953748252 (https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/florida-man-took-shower-in-victim-s-home-wore-her-clothes-then-stole-her-car-police-say/953748252)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 31, 2019, 12:03:51 am
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.

They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 31, 2019, 01:13:58 am
They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
The national version of the story in question uses the "Florida Man" headline.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/29/python-slithers-out-toilet-bites-florida-man-arm-coral-springs/1269761001/ (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/29/python-slithers-out-toilet-bites-florida-man-arm-coral-springs/1269761001/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 31, 2019, 01:36:03 pm
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.
Quote
Florida Teacher Wrote 'WTF Is This?' On Student's Science Assignment
By Brendan Cole On 5/30/19 at 6:57 AM EDT

Teachers are often expected to encourage their young charges, offering help to both those who soar at the top or linger at the bottom of the class, guiding them through their formative years.

However, one educator in Florida has been left decidedly unimpressed with a student’s assignment—and was not afraid to say so.

The unnamed teacher at Rutherford High School in Springfield gave short shrift to one science assignment and wrote across the top “WTF is this?"  ...

Rutherford principal Coy Pilson said the school had spoken with the teacher, whose name they would not release, adding that "she was apologetic and it was a mistake on her part.”  ...
Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-teacher-writes-wtf-absolutely-no-credit-high-school-students-1439161)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 31, 2019, 01:54:44 pm
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-teacher-writes-wtf-absolutely-no-credit-high-school-students-1439161)

@mountaineer

Not exactly professional,but I think we can all probably understand her frustration.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 03, 2019, 07:05:04 pm
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

Quote
GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.

(https://i1.wp.com/thevalleyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/anthony.png?resize=603%2C302&ssl=1)

The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject.

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on June 03, 2019, 07:07:05 pm
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

...The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 03, 2019, 07:15:09 pm
LOL, @thackney!  That was really in the (short) article....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: WalkingLiberty on June 03, 2019, 07:38:08 pm
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....

that's a lot of nerve
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on June 03, 2019, 07:47:28 pm
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

I see the Onion and the Bee have competition!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 04, 2019, 07:40:47 am
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

@Cyber Liberty


Quote
The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing.

Ok,THAT'S funny,I don't care who you are!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 05, 2019, 02:43:23 am
Florida Man Charged With Manslaughter For Shooting Woman During Foreplay With Gun, Police Say

Quote
VALRICO (CBSMiami) – A Florida man is facing manslaughter charges after accidentally shooting a woman during a sex act.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, Andrew Shinault, 23, and a woman in her 20s, were “engaging in an act of foreplay involving his registered handgun” on Sunday May 26 in the Tampa suburb of Valrico.

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/06/04/florida-man-manslaughter-woman-shot-foreplay-gun/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 05, 2019, 10:50:05 am
Thank goodness the handgun was registered.  :pondering:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 11:19:42 pm
Florida man arrested after allegedly pouring ketchup on sleeping girlfriend

Officers responded to a home in Pinellas Park early Sunday where they found a woman “covered in ketchup,” a police report said.

Police said the woman “woke up to ketchup being poured on her by the defendant as the defendant was yelling ‘that’s what you get, b----.”


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-after-pouring-ketchup-on-sleeping-girlfriend-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-after-pouring-ketchup-on-sleeping-girlfriend-report)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 11:21:28 pm
Blowtorch-wielding Florida Man Tries to Steal ATM, Welds it Shut Instead

Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputies say the men tried to break into a machine on the second floor of the Boardwalk on Okaloosa Island on Friday morning.

Deputies say the man in black tried to use a blowtorch to melt the hinges and locks on the ATM, while the other had a crow bar and served as a lookout.

But when employees arrived the next morning, they found the ATM, still closed, with the hinges welded shut.


https://www.mynews13.com/fl/orlando/news/2019/06/05/blowtorch-wielding-florida-man-tries-to-steal-atm--welds-it-shut-instead (https://www.mynews13.com/fl/orlando/news/2019/06/05/blowtorch-wielding-florida-man-tries-to-steal-atm--welds-it-shut-instead)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 11:24:46 pm
Police And Florida Man Exchange Gunfire Over A Parking Space
parking arguments seem to be a universal language. However, most of those arguments don’t tend to escalate to one party pulling out a gun and shooting wildly into the public.

That’s exactly what happened in Florida when a parking dispute led to an elderly man shooting his blindly before being arrested over the weekend.


https://www.ibtimes.com/florida-police-elderly-man-exchange-gunfire-over-parking-space-2797299 (https://www.ibtimes.com/florida-police-elderly-man-exchange-gunfire-over-parking-space-2797299)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 06, 2019, 06:01:03 pm
Florida man caught on camera bathing in a Wendy's sink
https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/)
Update: the employee has been fired.
https://www.wivb.com/news/wendy-s-employee-fired-for-taking-a-bath-in-the-sink/2057752926 (https://www.wivb.com/news/wendy-s-employee-fired-for-taking-a-bath-in-the-sink/2057752926)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 07, 2019, 12:16:32 pm
Florida man spotted in New York naked in a chicken coop

On Wednesday, June 5, 2019 New York State Police arrested 25-year-old John Mehne after police say a bizarre series of events started when Mehne allegedly burglarized a home in Sarasota and stole a car.

Police say he crashed that car somewhere North of Pennsylvania and caught a ride on the back of a pickup truck, but eventually ran away on foot when multiple law enforcement units joined in on the chase.


https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/ (https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2019, 01:29:22 pm
Florida man spotted in New York naked in a chicken coop

On Wednesday, June 5, 2019 New York State Police arrested 25-year-old John Mehne after police say a bizarre series of events started when Mehne allegedly burglarized a home in Sarasota and stole a car.

Police say he crashed that car somewhere North of Pennsylvania and caught a ride on the back of a pickup truck, but eventually ran away on foot when multiple law enforcement units joined in on the chase.


https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/ (https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/)

@jmyrlefuller

The prime question wasn't answered,although it was hinted at in the news report.

Did any chickens lose their virtue,and are they going to sue?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 07, 2019, 10:54:51 pm
@jmyrlefuller

The prime question wasn't answered,although it was hinted at in the news report.

Did any chickens lose their virtue,and are they going to sue?
@sneakypete
The hens were heard to exclaim 'any cockle dooo!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 07, 2019, 10:56:42 pm
Police: Florida man hid legless fugitive girlfriend in plastic tote

Quote from: WFTS Article

AP
Posted: 6:48 AM, May 11, 2018
Updated: 5:16 AM, May 11, 2018

(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/77aa920/2147483647/strip/true/crop/640x360+0+60/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsharing.abcactionnews.com%2Fsharewptv%2Fphoto%2F2018%2F05%2F11%2Fwptv-Krystle-Anderson-John-carr_1526035652154_86551805_ver1.0_640_480.jpg)
Photo by: Polk County Sheriff's Office

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. (AP) — A Central Florida man is accused of hiding his legless fugitive girlfriend from police by stuffing her into a plastic storage container.

48-year-old John Robert Carr Jr. of Winter Haven is charged with resisting arrest. News outlets report Carr attempted to hide 39-year-old Krystle Lee Anderson from U.S. marshals and Polk County Sheriff's deputies Tuesday.

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/police-florida-man-hid-legless-fugitive-girlfriend-in-plastic-tote (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/police-florida-man-hid-legless-fugitive-girlfriend-in-plastic-tote)

She's a keeper!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2019, 11:20:12 pm
@sneakypete
The hens were heard to exclaim 'any cockle dooo!"


@GtHawk

Anybody told Laz? He would hit that.

(old FR joke. If you don't get it,don't worry about it)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 08, 2019, 12:09:33 am
A legless fugitive, huh? How did she run away?  ****drummer
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 08, 2019, 12:14:18 am
A legless fugitive, huh? How did she run away?  ****drummer

Hella tote bag that can hold a 4-foot-tall woman.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 08, 2019, 03:06:18 am

@GtHawk

Anybody told Laz? He would hit that.

(old FR joke. If you don't get it,don't worry about it)
@sneakypete
Oh I get it, Laz is a legend................in his own mind anyway.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on June 08, 2019, 03:08:27 am
This does seem like a Laz story.  Unfortunately...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 08, 2019, 03:32:18 am
This does seem like a Laz story.  Unfortunately...

He settled down a lot when his cat, Cathy ("CAT-Hates-You") died.  He blames himself, and he's probably right.   :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 10, 2019, 12:11:37 pm
Florida man disrupts restaurant, tells officers ‘go to Dunkin’ Donuts’
A Florida man was disrupting a Naples restaurant, standing on chairs while sticking out his middle finger and shouting at customers before his arrest, deputies say.

The suspect, John Toddy, 55, faces a Disorderly Intoxication charge.


https://www.winknews.com/2019/06/09/florida-man-disrupts-restaurant-tells-officers-go-to-dunkin-donuts/ (https://www.winknews.com/2019/06/09/florida-man-disrupts-restaurant-tells-officers-go-to-dunkin-donuts/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 10, 2019, 12:27:56 pm
Nude Florida man accused of flinging his urine at cops
“There’s a man out here butt naked!” exclaimed a woman speaking to a 911 operator after witnessing a man wearing nothing but his birthday suit attempt to enter a convenience store several days ago.

When the 911 technician asked if the man was sporting any weapons, the caller stated, “No, he is like nude. Nude. He’s very nude!”


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 11, 2019, 02:07:30 pm
Florida man winds up in ICU after eating pufferfish and snorting cocaine
A Florida man was hospitalized after he and his grandmother ate a potentially lethal puffer fish. The unnamed 43-year-old man visited Aventura Hospital and Medical Center in south Florida, suffering from vomiting and stomach pains.

Both of his legs had gone numb, he felt weak, and he was struggling to speak and stay awake. A pain had erupted in his chest which made it feel as though it was tearing, his doctors wrote in BMJ Case Reports.

Hospital staff learned the man had eaten the liver of a puffer fish four hours before arriving at the hospital. Three days prior, he had also consumed canned food and cocaine.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-took-cocaine-ate-puffer-fish-liver-intensive-care-1443312 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-took-cocaine-ate-puffer-fish-liver-intensive-care-1443312)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 11, 2019, 02:08:50 pm
\
Florida man tells police cocaine powder on nose, ‘not his’
A Florida man who was riding in the passenger-side seat in a vehicle that was pulled over early Sunday told the officer that the cocaine powder on his nose didn’t belong to him, according to investigators.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-tells-deputy-cocaine-powder-on-noise-not-his-police.print (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-tells-deputy-cocaine-powder-on-noise-not-his-police.print)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 11, 2019, 03:05:51 pm
Florida man winds up in ICU after eating pufferfish and snorting cocaine
[font=serif
Hospital staff learned the man had eaten the liver of a puffer fish four hours before arriving at the hospital. Three days prior, he had also consumed canned food and cocaine.[/font]

 
@jmyrlefuller

They have canned cocaine in Fla????

Don't they damage their teeth trying to bite into the can?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 11, 2019, 04:40:33 pm
Bush's beans 'n' blow.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 12, 2019, 05:05:14 pm
Florida man arrested after hiding meth in container of 'hot, fresh potato wedges,' police say
A Florida man’s order was up after deputies discovered a bag of meth inside a styrofoam container of “hot, fresh potato wedges,” authorities said.

James Simpson, 48, was arrested Saturday afternoon after police conducted a traffic stop, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-hot-fresh-potato-wedges (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-hot-fresh-potato-wedges)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 12, 2019, 05:06:51 pm
Florida man, naked, performs ‘strange dance’ at McDonald’s before ‘trying to have relations with a railing’
"I was dispatched to McDonald's in reference to a white male wearing white shorts taking their clothes off and doing a strange dance," said Morgan's arrest report, written by Officer D. Grossklass.

"The caller stated that they believed the male to be possibly on drugs. The male was doing this near the front door of the McDonald's.

"While I was on my way to McDonald's it [was] also stated that the male pulled his pants down, but put them back on. Lastly, the caller stated that it looked as though the male was trying to have relations with a railing."


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on June 12, 2019, 05:16:25 pm
No way drugs were involved:

(https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1503072/florida-man-naked-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railings.jpg?w=737&f=26e568d4d6922ba76f4d0912133562f7)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on June 12, 2019, 05:35:36 pm
https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522)

A couple of buried jems in that article:

Quote
...Earlier in June, Florida man Peter Wagman, 37, from Pinellas Park, was charged with domestic battery for pouring tomato sauce all over his sleeping girlfriend following an argument about infidelity.

Wagman, who pleaded not guilty, was allegedly heard at around 4:45 a.m. yelling "that's what you get, b****h" as he covered her in the red condiment. The couple reportedly had a history of police callouts for domestic incidents.

Last Tuesday, Escambia County deputies arrested Keriah Renea Giomi, 25, of Cantonment after she allegedly tried to stab a man in the stomach with a hunting knife while she was naked and yelling "Jehovah" at him. Giomi faces felony charges of aggravated battery.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 12, 2019, 08:56:54 pm
The railing was heard sadly singing, "Will you still love me tomorrow? "
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 14, 2019, 11:49:13 pm
Florida man brought an assistant to his crime spree, deputies say. She was 4 years old.
Around 8 a.m. Thursday, deputies responded to the 100 block of Charles Street to a witness reporting a suspicious person carrying around large bags on a neighbor’s property along the river, according to a sheriff’s office Facebook post.

The witness mentioned the suspect walking with a little girl who was carrying a bag, too.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 15, 2019, 01:43:27 am
Florida man brought an assistant to his crime spree, deputies say. She was 4 years old.
Around 8 a.m. Thursday, deputies responded to the 100 block of Charles Street to a witness reporting a suspicious person carrying around large bags on a neighbor’s property along the river, according to a sheriff’s office Facebook post.

The witness mentioned the suspect walking with a little girl who was carrying a bag, too.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html)
Sounds like the Damon Runyon story Butch Minds the Baby.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on June 15, 2019, 06:41:16 am
Nude Florida man accused of flinging his urine at cops
“There’s a man out here butt naked!” exclaimed a woman speaking to a 911 operator after witnessing a man wearing nothing but his birthday suit attempt to enter a convenience store several days ago.

When the 911 technician asked if the man was sporting any weapons, the caller stated, “No, he is like nude. Nude. He’s very nude!”


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html)
No shirt, no shoes, no service...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 15, 2019, 02:26:06 pm
No shirt, no shoes, no service...

@Smokin Joe

"flung his urine at the cops....."

Sounds to me like this goober WANTED to be beaten for free.

Ok,who here would blame the cops for beating the snot out of him while arresting him?

Don't get me wrong. I am NOT  a fan of police brutality,and almost always question violent arrests,but there are limits to everything.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 15, 2019, 05:18:24 pm
Florida man asked cops for help starting motorcycle he’d stolen
Raymond Millwater is just 30 years old but he's been jailed nearly two dozen times.

His latest trip to the slammer came after someone reported seeing a possibly intoxicated man pushing a motorcycle down a road in Clearwater.

Police responded and said they found Millwater standing unsteady near the bike. He told them he borrowed it from a man named Chad, but he couldn’t get it to turn on.

Not deterred, Millwater asked officers if he could borrow a screwdriver to get the motor running.


https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-asked-cops-for-help-starting-motorcycle-hed-stolen-police-say-511329372.html (https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-asked-cops-for-help-starting-motorcycle-hed-stolen-police-say-511329372.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Right_in_Virginia on June 15, 2019, 05:19:39 pm
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/06/Florida-Man-Ohio.png?resize=580%2C422&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 15, 2019, 05:40:42 pm
Florida man confesses to string of pool float thefts, says he uses them for impure intents
According to officials, in the past seven months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen and enters a victim's back pool area, stealing only pool floats.

There have been 13 reports made at this time. The victims stated that they had been robbed several times by Monnin but only reported the burglary after the second or third time it happened. Officials say there were apporximatly 75 floats inside (Monnin's domicile), including ones that the victims described.

Monnin told authorities that he "sexually gratifies himself" with the pool floats instead of raping women.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say' (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say')

(The mugshot on this one is pretty impressive, too.)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 15, 2019, 06:12:28 pm
Florida man asked cops for help starting motorcycle he’d stolen
Raymond Millwater is just 30 years old but he's been jailed nearly two dozen times.

 

@jmyrlefuller

My prediction is he is going to see many more jails and prisons from the inside before it all ends.

Depending on whose motorcycle it was he stole,that is. There ARE some people that take that sort of thing seriously,and they tend to have good friends who are already in prison,and who will be waiting to greet him with open arms. Bad things will then happen to him.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on June 15, 2019, 08:31:26 pm
Florida man confesses to string of pool float thefts, says he uses them for impure intents
According to officials, in the past seven months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen and enters a victim's back pool area, stealing only pool floats.

There have been 13 reports made at this time. The victims stated that they had been robbed several times by Monnin but only reported the burglary after the second or third time it happened. Officials say there were apporximatly 75 floats inside (Monnin's domicile), including ones that the victims described.

Monnin told authorities that he "sexually gratifies himself" with the pool floats instead of raping women.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say' (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say')

(The mugshot on this one is pretty impressive, too.)
Tell him just keep it. There is not enough chlorine in the pool....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 21, 2019, 11:00:10 am
Florida man attempts to break into Buddhist temple, flees half-naked when confronted by monks
A Hernando man is behind bars after Kenneth City Police officials say he attempted to break into a Buddha Temple.

The Kenneth City Police Department says Jack Williams, 26, was seen at around 5:15 a.m. on June 19 on the roof of the Kenneth City Buddha Temple striking a glass bedroom window.

Williams was charged with Loitering and Prowling.


https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839 (https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 22, 2019, 01:55:01 am
Florida man throws feces at judge, says ‘It’s protein. It’s good for you.’ and eats some to demonstrate
... and the best part of the story is: he was acquitted.

https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839 (https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on June 22, 2019, 02:26:40 am
Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

June 19, 2019
Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 22, 2019, 09:25:50 am
Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

Just the kind of girl you want to take home to mom.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 22, 2019, 04:21:57 pm


Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

June 19, 2019
Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html)

Sounds like she stole them from a guy that had stolen them first.

Which means she is probably going to be found in a ditch with a bullet in her head soon,and the watches will go unclaimed. Or at least unclaimed until the cops can figure out a way to get them through a "closed" confiscated seized property sale."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 28, 2019, 11:47:37 pm
Florida Man has his own Twitter account: https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__ (https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__)

Today's offering:
Quote
Florida Man   @FloridaMan__

Florida Man tries to Barbecue Child Molesters http://gestyy.com/w2oJV6 (http://gestyy.com/w2oJV6)
5:19 PM - 28 Jun 2019
The story is from May, here's a better link (https://nypost.com/2018/05/07/man-who-wanted-to-barbecue-all-the-child-molesters-is-charged-with-attempted-murder/).
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 28, 2019, 11:54:31 pm
Florida Man has his own Twitter account: https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__ (https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__)

Today's offering: The story is from May, here's a better link (https://nypost.com/2018/05/07/man-who-wanted-to-barbecue-all-the-child-molesters-is-charged-with-attempted-murder/).

You may have hit the Mother-lode with that Twitter link....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 28, 2019, 11:57:46 pm
(https://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/505/465/4ce.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Mod1 on June 29, 2019, 12:45:44 am
I'm going to sticky this, since it's a "running" thread.
It should be easier to find now.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on June 29, 2019, 12:46:38 am
(https://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/505/465/4ce.png)

Florida Man does not wear sleeves.

Seriously, you people never watched Cops?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 02, 2019, 01:50:04 pm
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on July 02, 2019, 01:58:52 pm
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report)

Good help is hard to find these days....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on July 02, 2019, 10:42:05 pm
Good help is hard to find these days....

WWJD?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 03, 2019, 11:47:46 am
Florida man claimed to be Lord of Satan; exposed himself
A North Central Florida man was arrested Monday after Gainesville Police said he yelled at two people and pulled down his pants in front of them.

According to the arrest report, James Davis, 43, approached two people at an apartment parking lot and yelled he was the Lord of Satan to them and he was going to chop the victims’ heads off, throw them into a trash can and called them insulting names.


https://www.wcjb.com/content/news/North-Central-Florida-man-claimed-to-be-Lord-of-Satan-exposed-himself--512109531.html (https://www.wcjb.com/content/news/North-Central-Florida-man-claimed-to-be-Lord-of-Satan-exposed-himself--512109531.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 04, 2019, 02:06:40 pm
Florida man caught feeding wild alligator resists arrest: ‘‘He’s a good boy...and he loves bagels’’
Paul Fortin, 67 (...) told News 6 that he regularly fed Hank the alligator. "He's a good boy. He lets me pet him," Fortin told the channel. "He just sits there and he loves bagels…He was such a good friend."

The alligator-lover added: "It's illegal. It's totally illegal to do it. Did I know it? No. Did I know I couldn't feed a turtle? Alligators? Yeah, I kinda knew that…I don't know, maybe I'm Dr. Doolittle."


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-feeds-alligator-loves-bagels-1447269 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-feeds-alligator-loves-bagels-1447269)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 04, 2019, 02:08:34 pm
Florida man, just released from jail, tried to break into vehicles in the jail parking lot
On Monday, 68-year-old Dennis Libonati was just released from the Pasco County Jail, officials said, but was (...) seen in surveillance video checking the door locks of 26 vehicles, including to sheriff's office vehicles. Detention staff took him into custody.

They said he admitted to trying to enter those vehicles in order to steal them, so he can head home. He said he tried to "hot wire" an ATV, deputies said.


http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/deputies-florida-man-just-released-from-jail-tried-to-break-into-vehicles-in-the-jail-parking-lot (http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/deputies-florida-man-just-released-from-jail-tried-to-break-into-vehicles-in-the-jail-parking-lot)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 08, 2019, 12:28:40 am
Florida man arrested for driving with a live alligator in passengers seat
Anthony Richardson was pulled over in the area of S.R. 64 and Pioneer Park in Zolfo Springs. Investigators located illegal drugs on his person and prior to searching Richardson’s car when he told detectives he had a live alligator in his front seat.

When asked if he had an alligator trapping/hunting license, Richardson stated he did not and that a friend had given him the gator, which he planned on releasing into the river.

Investigators located a baby alligator in a black bag with its mouth taped shut in the front seat.


https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-driving-with-a-live-alligator-in-passengers-seat/ (https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-driving-with-a-live-alligator-in-passengers-seat/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 12, 2019, 10:08:41 pm
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/ (https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on July 12, 2019, 10:34:28 pm
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/ (https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/)
Some people are just A$$holes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on July 13, 2019, 12:35:10 am
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing (https://ktla.com/2019/01/27/florida-man-prompts-evacuation-at-taco-bell-after-bringing-grenade-he-found-while-fishing/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on July 13, 2019, 12:55:06 am
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing (https://ktla.com/2019/01/27/florida-man-prompts-evacuation-at-taco-bell-after-bringing-grenade-he-found-while-fishing/)

"Look, nifty bomb.  I'm going to take it straight to Taco Bell!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 19, 2019, 01:25:45 pm
Florida man foiled in carjacking attempt by a stick shift
The incident occurred Tuesday when an elderly man left his car running with the keys in the ignition while he was putting his walker into the trunk.

According to the sheriff's office, a man, later identified as 25-year-old Jaylen Alexander, allegedly attacked the elderly man, slamming the hood of the trunk on his chest and his walker.

Alexander is accused of then getting into the man's car, locking the doors and trying to drive away. After stalling multiple times, Alexander left the car and took off running, the sheriff's office said. The elderly man told authorities he believed the reason Alexander stalled was because he did not know how to drive a manual transmission


https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/18/us/florida-man-arrested-carjacking-stick-shift-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/18/us/florida-man-arrested-carjacking-stick-shift-trnd/index.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 19, 2019, 01:29:13 pm
Florida man leaves his wife naked on the side of the road, torches her car
Florida man was arrested Saturday after leaving his naked wife at the side of a highway following a beach trip—then setting her car on fire, police say.

Donald Allen Moran, 55, of Pensacola, was booked by deputies from Escambia County Sheriff's Office at roughly 10:10 p.m. on charges of battery and arson, jail records show. He is also accused of targeting another man after starting the blaze, allegedly slapping him on the face.

Police responded to reports of a fire at the 8000 block of Gregg Road and found Moran and the male victim—who has not been named—in a front yard. The victim told officers he spotted Moran pouring gas through the driver's side door and setting it alight, WEAR-TV reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-donald-allen-moran-arrested-charged-arson-battery-naked-wife-beach-car-fire-1449404 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-donald-allen-moran-arrested-charged-arson-battery-naked-wife-beach-car-fire-1449404)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 24, 2019, 01:07:30 pm
Florida man gives fake name to cops...the person whose name he used was also wanted for arrest
A 26-year-old Bradenton man is behind bars after providing law enforcement with his brother’s name because he was wanted on felony warrants, Manatee County sheriff’s deputies say.

The only problem is that his brother is wanted, as well.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article233006777.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article233006777.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on July 24, 2019, 01:19:25 pm
She squeezed his testicles so hard he couldn’t walk. Cops say she just wanted sex
Bradenton Herald (https://www.bradenton.com/news/state/florida/article233008942.html?fbclid=IwAR341fgxe-_NNjlmoTewpvysJnAm9qU5l0lc-Qm3kRMK1o_D2RIduyeKJu0#storylink=cpy)
By Mark Young
July 23, 2019 10:53 AM, Updated July 23, 2019 03:03 PM
Quote
A 44-year-old Florida woman was charged with battery after she squeezed her husband’s testicles so hard that he “crumpled over and had trouble walking,” according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Deputies say Anastacia Tasch on July 22 approached her husband while he was sleeping on the couch and “without provocation or permission walked over to the victim and grabbed his genitals.”

According to the report, Tasch admitted doing so but that she “did this in a sexual manner because she was attempting to arouse the victim in an effort to have sexual intercourse.”  ...

The report did not provide an update on the man’s condition, but the sheriff’s office noted on a press release that perhaps “How about just a kiss next time” would have been a better approach.
Full story and booking photo (https://www.bradenton.com/news/state/florida/article233008942.html?fbclid=IwAR341fgxe-_NNjlmoTewpvysJnAm9qU5l0lc-Qm3kRMK1o_D2RIduyeKJu0)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on July 24, 2019, 02:08:43 pm
Best headline on the above

Police Pan Florida Woman's 5:30 AM Performance Of The Nutcracker ...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/florida-nutcracker-panned-842019 (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/florida-nutcracker-panned-842019)

I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on July 24, 2019, 02:43:25 pm
I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line.

Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on July 24, 2019, 07:05:58 pm
Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.

I meant Golden Corral!  Or Ryan's Steakhouse or Shoney's.  I'm going see nile.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: EdJames on July 24, 2019, 07:07:33 pm
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on July 24, 2019, 07:10:19 pm
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....

A story like that could get a fellow banned.   333cleo
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 25, 2019, 10:22:42 pm
Five guys (five Florida Men) arrested for fighting at Five Guys
A woman told authorities that one of the men was arguing with another man, someone threw a cup, and a door was slammed in a man’s face before an “all-out brawl” broke out, according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel.

Three juvenile males and two adult males (...) were charged with affray and processed at the Martin County Jail.


https://fox59.com/2019/07/19/5-guys-arrested-after-fight-at-five-guys-burgers-and-fries-in-florida/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 06, 2019, 01:04:24 pm
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 06, 2019, 05:38:26 pm
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub)

@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on August 06, 2019, 06:35:11 pm
@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.

@sneakypete  It was at 2:30AM.  Sounds like after hours.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on August 06, 2019, 07:50:49 pm
Between this and the "pee-tato" lady it will give a new definition to "Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?" eventually. happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 10, 2019, 01:41:34 pm
Florida man pulls gun after furniture is delivered late, tells crew he’s ‘shot people for less’
A man from Manatee County is accused of pulling a gun on two furniture delivery men because he was unhappy that they were late. Mitchell Helton, 55, had ordered the goods from the Furniture Warehouse and had been told that they were on their way on August 3.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office said that when the delivery men arrived, the front door was open and Helton told them that he was upset he had to wait so long. When they asked him if he still wanted the furniture, he said, "do whatever you want" and went to his bedroom, according to the police report.

When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 17, 2019, 02:55:35 pm
Florida man threatens neighbors with nunchucks and bug spray, but only injures himself
Larry Adams, 61, was arrested after the bizarre confrontation, which residents said was sparked by loud music coming from a car outside a Daytona Beach apartment complex late Monday night, FOX35 Orlando reported. One neighbor told the station Adams initially tried to frighten the group, but the bid backfired – literally – when he struck the car frame with the nunchucks and the martial arts weapon unexpectedly bounced off the vehicle's body and smashed into his face.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 17, 2019, 08:04:45 pm
Quote
When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on August 17, 2019, 08:09:18 pm
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:

I don't see the problem with the actions of this Florida Man.  Slipshod service must not be accepted or even tolerated. 888mouth
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 27, 2019, 11:34:57 am
Florida Man menaced victim with machete for not flushing toilet
Keith Mounts, 46, was busted Saturday night on a felony aggravated assault count following a confrontation at his residence in Hudson, a Tampa suburb.

According to the victim, Mounts “pointed a machete in his face after he told him to flush the toilet after using it.” The man added that Mounts threatened to “chop” him with the weapon.

Mounts subsequently “provided a written statement saying ‘Shit happened,’” cops reported.


http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972 (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 01, 2019, 12:28:22 am
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive (https://www.thedrive.com/news/29636/florida-man-caught-filling-buckets-with-gasoline-ahead-of-hurricane-dorian)
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

(https://the-drive.imgix.net/https%3A%2F%2Fapi.thedrive.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F08%2Fflorida-man-gas-hero.jpg%3Fquality%3D85?w=1440&auto=compress%2Cformat&ixlib=js-1.4.1&s=1d2a88dd849547af46817821e6a8c5a9)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 01, 2019, 07:09:59 am
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive (https://www.thedrive.com/news/29636/florida-man-caught-filling-buckets-with-gasoline-ahead-of-hurricane-dorian)
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

(https://the-drive.imgix.net/https%3A%2F%2Fapi.thedrive.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F08%2Fflorida-man-gas-hero.jpg%3Fquality%3D85?w=1440&auto=compress%2Cformat&ixlib=js-1.4.1&s=1d2a88dd849547af46817821e6a8c5a9)
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 01, 2019, 12:27:16 pm
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
No sign of lids. I guess he doesn't mind stinking up the back of his SUV with the lovely aroma of gasoline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 01, 2019, 02:07:46 pm
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....

Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 01, 2019, 04:18:20 pm
Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Right, just one bump.... @mountaineer I have to note that intense hydrocarbon fumes can lead to a 'high'--kids were known in my grandfather's day to lay on the gas tank of the tractor and pull the cap off just to get a buzz from the (then) pleasant smell of the gasoline. My grandfather said that other additives were added to make it smell worse not long after that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 11, 2019, 12:41:30 am
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

Quote
A 37-year old man suffering some very serious groin injuries after being bitten by a pit bull, was admitted at the Ryder Trauma Center, this morning.

Jesus Ramon Sanchez, from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami, was allegedly attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a 4-year old male pit bull, when the dog defended itself by tearing off the man’s genitals with its teeth.

The incident took place around 8:30 this morning, in the Allen Morris Dog Park in Miami.

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky, was playing with his owner in the park when Mister Sanchez grabbed him and attempted to rape him.

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/ (http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 12:44:37 am
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky,

@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 11, 2019, 12:58:30 am
@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!

@sneakypete

IKR???
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on September 11, 2019, 12:59:26 am
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/ (http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/)

Just so much wrong in that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 11, 2019, 01:04:24 am
Just so much wrong in that.

I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on September 11, 2019, 01:06:01 am
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

Awwww.  I dislike pits, but he's really cute.

And, good dog. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 01:30:55 am
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

@Cyber Liberty

Don't recall EVER seeing a dog with such a self-satisfied look on his face before.

GOOD dog!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on September 11, 2019, 02:01:15 am
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 03:03:29 am
They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.

@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on September 11, 2019, 04:32:43 am
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.

Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 11, 2019, 07:24:31 am
Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 11:15:33 am
 :thumbsup:
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
:thumbsup: There are occasions when an older dog might snap at a child that is playing to rough or feels cornered, but those are the exceptions not the rule.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 11:17:44 am
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 04:14:57 pm
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.



@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 06:28:39 pm
@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
My Father and his cousins owned a raccoon hound that if the animal didn't come out of the tree you better go up and get it, or he would not hunt with you the rest of the day.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 10:51:26 pm
My Father and his cousins owned a raccoon hound that if the animal didn't come out of the tree you better go up and get it, or he would not hunt with you the rest of the day.

@verga

It's good to see that someone has standards,be it man or beast.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on September 12, 2019, 08:33:55 pm
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 12, 2019, 08:54:01 pm
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77

He's not In Season right now.  Give it a few months..lol!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on September 12, 2019, 09:56:19 pm
He's not In Season right now.  Give it a few months..lol!



*chuckle*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 12, 2019, 10:02:50 pm
Florida Man Smashes 20 Cars, Says 'I Did It Because Donald Trump Owes Me One Trillion Dollars'
By Scott McDonald
On 9/10/19 at 8:24 PM EDT

A homeless man in Florida went on a car vandalism spree Monday, smashing at least 20 vehicles before getting tired and falling asleep on a nearby bench. When questioned by authorities, he said it happened because President Donald Trump "owes me one trillion dollars."

The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office in a press release identified the man as 30-year-old Justin James Wilson, and said he damaged at least 20 cars or more that were parked at the Holiday Inn Resort on Okaloosa Island.

The sheriff's office stated Wilson faces 14 counts of felony criminal mischief and six counts of misdemeanor criminal mischief for an estimated $30,000 in damages to at least 20 cars.

When deputies located Wilson nearby, he confessed to the officers and said, "Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars and these vehicles belong to the mafia."  ... More at Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-smashes-20-cars-says-i-did-it-because-donald-trump-owes-me-one-trillion-dollars-1458647)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on September 12, 2019, 10:14:01 pm
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77

He got pinched for parole violations and sent back to NYC...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 13, 2019, 12:03:50 pm
Florida man throws raw burger meat on car, Victim's vehicle not damaged
A homeless Florida man threw raw hamburger meat on the hood of another man's car for an unknown reason, according to the Cocoa Police Department.

The victim was able to hose off the meat from his car. It did not cause any damage.

Less than two hours later, a witness saw Lytle walking into a nearby wooded area. Police said they found him asleep in a treeline.


https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/florida-man-throws-raw-burger-meat-on-victims-car-police-say (https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/florida-man-throws-raw-burger-meat-on-victims-car-police-say)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 13, 2019, 12:05:11 pm
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77
It's been quiet on the Florida Man front. I've been perusing the wires, but I think Dorian scared him off... or at least drowned out the news coverage.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 13, 2019, 03:03:47 pm
It's been quiet on the Florida Man front. I've been perusing the wires, but I think Dorian scared him off... or at least drowned out the news coverage.

@jmyrlefuller

Not a chance! If there is one thing Florida Man has proven,it is that he is fearless.

Probably still drunk and passed out somewhere.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on September 17, 2019, 02:45:25 am
Florida couple had sex in the back of a police car after DUI arrest, cops say

By C. Isaiah Smalls II
 
September 16, 2019 03:39 PM, Updated 7 hours ago


ï‚™ 
(https://www.miamiherald.com/latest-news/wexd8p/picture235149977/alternates/LANDSCAPE_1140/FLORIDA%20COUPLE%20SEX.png)ï‚š 
 
 Megan Mondanaro (left) and Aaron Thomas (right) Nassau County Sheriff's Office
 
There is a time and place for everything. And, more often then not, that place is rarely in the back of a police car.

A Florida couple face a list of charges after a deputy said they had sex in the back of his patrol car.

The Nassau County deputy originally arrested 31-year-old Aaron Thomas and 35-year-old Megan Mondanaro on DUI charges. And then things got a little frisky in the back seat.

According to an arrest report, a deputy observed the couple riding bikes with no lights in the middle of South Fletcher Avenue. After they narrowly escaped being hit by a car, the deputy pulled them over. He noted that the couple smelled from alcohol and had bloodshot eyes.

Eventually, the deputy placed the couple in the backseat of his patrol car. That’s when the couple started going at it.

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article235144277.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article235144277.html#storylink=cpy)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 17, 2019, 03:11:54 am
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  Happened to her face? :thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on September 17, 2019, 04:03:09 am
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  Happened to her face? :thud:
Crack cocaine. Very common to have sores on the face.
Crack and Meth make the user think there are 'bugs' under their skin.
They scratch their skin off trying to get to them.
(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F1035099%2F82977622.jpg)


(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fawarenessact.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F05%2Fmeth.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 17, 2019, 02:46:05 pm
Crack cocaine. Very common to have sores on the face.
Crack and Meth make the user think there are 'bugs' under their skin.
They scratch their skin off trying to get to them.
(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F1035099%2F82977622.jpg)


(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fawarenessact.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F05%2Fmeth.jpg)

@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 17, 2019, 02:49:04 pm
@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.

I usually associate that condition with Meth heads, but it could be crack, too.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on September 17, 2019, 02:55:15 pm
@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.
@sneakypete
The sores are all over their body. The face is just what you see first.
Saw a homeless guy on Meth, or Crack, or Bug Spray, Bath Salts,
or who knows what in the world. Late teens, early twenties?
He had just crawled out of his homeless camp in the woods.
Covered with sores from head to toe, along with bed bugs and fleas. Incoherent.
He sat on the bench chewing sores on his arm, exactly like a dog would do.
He had morphed from human into some kind of animal.
Didn't want food, because he couldn't eat.
His whole life was entirely about his next fix. That was his whole world.
Yes he was dangerous. Like a feral dog.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on September 19, 2019, 05:16:58 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/ta6d812.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on September 19, 2019, 06:05:52 pm
Interestingly enough, earlier this year some guy was shot dead by security forces after breaking into the Area 51 facility and confronting the security forces with some metallic object in his hand.  :MiniGun:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 20, 2019, 06:33:55 am
Interestingly enough, earlier this year some guy was shot dead by security forces after breaking into the Area 51 facility and confronting the security forces with some metallic object in his hand.  :MiniGun:
It is my understanding that the security folks there have about as much of a sense of humor as the teams guarding missile silos in this neck of the woods. None. Locked and loaded. Some things you just don't mess with.  **nononono*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on September 20, 2019, 09:35:29 am
It is my understanding that the security folks there have about as much of a sense of humor as the teams guarding missile silos in this neck of the woods. None. Locked and loaded. Some things you just don't mess with.  **nononono*
Same thing with crossing the flight lines without the proper badge on military bases. When I lived up north there was a Air Force officer that committed suicide that way.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 23, 2019, 04:51:06 am
Same thing with crossing the flight lines without the proper badge on military bases. When I lived up north there was a Air Force officer that committed suicide that way.
Pity..What a waste. But the guys who have to take the shot have a job to do, even though it sucks some days.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on September 23, 2019, 03:35:23 pm
Ballsy: FL woman bites camel’s testicles to escape being crushed

September 23, 2019 | Victor Rantala


(https://www.bizpacreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/SG-Caspar-the-camel-1024x534.jpg)
Screen capture … Caspar the camel … Credit: The Advocate

 File this in stories beyond the weird: A woman in Louisiana clenched her teeth in determination last week when she found herself being crushed by a 600-pound camel.

What did she do? She bit the animal’s testicles to free herself, of course.

On Thursday a Florida woman at the Tiger Truck Stop in Gross Tete, Louisiana, followed her deaf dog into a petting zoo enclosure that contained a camel named Caspar. The woman and her husband spooked Caspar before the camel pinned the woman against a wall and sat on her.

“She said, ‘I bit his balls to get him off of me, I bit his testicles to get him off of me,’” Iberville Parish Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr. told The Advocate.

The woman was taken to a hospital and her condition is unknown.

<..snip..>

https://www.bizpacreview.com/2019/09/23/ballsy-fl-woman-bites-camels-testicles-to-escape-being-crushed-828821 (https://www.bizpacreview.com/2019/09/23/ballsy-fl-woman-bites-camels-testicles-to-escape-being-crushed-828821)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 23, 2019, 03:39:22 pm
I wonder how much Listerine it took to get the taste of Achmed out of her mouth?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 23, 2019, 03:45:16 pm
Quote
“The woman’s husband had been throwing treats to their dog under Caspar the camel’s fence Thursday evening before the dog went inside, the Iberville Parish Sheriff’s Office said Sunday,” reported The Advocate. “After the dog began interacting with the camel, the couple crawled in to get it, officials said.

Not just Florida Man,but Florida Couple. Twice as much dumbass in one packaged unit.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 23, 2019, 03:46:36 pm
I wonder how much Listerine it took to get the taste of Achmed out of her mouth?

@Cyber Liberty

She's from Florida,so she has probably tasted worse.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sighlass on September 26, 2019, 01:52:03 am
I couldn't find the topic "Florida Man" for some reason... Maybe a mod will move this there... but it is funny.

Florida Man Dressed as Fred Flintstone Gets Pulled over for Speeding.

https://altdriver.com/news/florida-fred-flintstone-speeding/?utm_source=facebook

(https://i.postimg.cc/Hk8x46xB/Flintstone.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 27, 2019, 01:06:48 pm
Florida teen attacks elderly relatives over tomatoes after grandma claims she ate 'more than her fair share'
A homey scene turned bizarrely violent in Florida when a young woman got into a fight with her elderly family members at the dinner table over the number of tomatoes she could eat. While the disagreement started with a fight over the food, it ended with the girl allegedly attempting to stab her grandfather.

Katie Jade Gates, 19, has been charged with two felonies over the Sept. 12 incident, Fox 51 reported. She’s been accused of aggravated assault and aggravated battery on a victim over the age of 65.


https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/teen-attacks-elderly-relatives-tomatoes (https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/teen-attacks-elderly-relatives-tomatoes)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 27, 2019, 01:24:16 pm
Good to see "floridamanism" is not limited by sex.
Quote
...  The young woman then allegedly chased her grandfather out of the house while brandishing a knife and threatened to stab him in the face. Gates allegedly made stabbing and poking motions with the knife at her grandfather....
I'm struck by her cheery mug shot, though.
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/Katie-Jade-Gates-mugshot.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 27, 2019, 01:51:40 pm
And it's not even Thanksgiving!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 27, 2019, 03:00:27 pm
Good to see "floridamanism" is not limited by sex.I'm struck by her cheery mug shot, though.
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/Katie-Jade-Gates-mugshot.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)

@mountaineer

Me,too.Maybe she is happy because her "meth face" cleared up so she could take a good photo?

 Now,consider this,chances are several unsuspecting men will end up marrying her. What could possibly go wrong there?

If you believe in prayer,pray for them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 30, 2019, 05:12:59 pm
Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow
A Florida man was arrested Monday in a months-old attack during which he allegedly using a samurai sword to threaten and assault a jogger as they fought over a wheelbarrow the victim said he found in a pile of trash.

Curtis Miller, 54, was taken into custody on attempted murder charges stemming from an altercation on July 15, according to online records from the Broward County Sheriff's Office.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 30, 2019, 05:37:30 pm
Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow
A Florida man was arrested Monday in a months-old attack during which he allegedly using a samurai sword to threaten and assault a jogger as they fought over a wheelbarrow the victim said he found in a pile of trash.

Curtis Miller, 54, was taken into custody on attempted murder charges stemming from an altercation on July 15, according to online records from the Broward County Sheriff's Office.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow)

@jmyrlefuller

"Hmm,lemme see,here. Ah got me wunna dem Sammie rye sords,an now Ah needs me a wheelbarro ta take home thu stuff ah chop up........,HAY,LEGGO MY DAM WHEELBARRO! Ah saw hit furst!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on October 01, 2019, 09:23:25 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 01, 2019, 09:32:04 pm
When is The Florida Man tv reality series coming out?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on October 01, 2019, 09:36:23 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)




 :terror: :terror: *bouche* 9999what
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 01, 2019, 09:37:10 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)

Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on October 01, 2019, 09:58:24 pm
Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.
Still worth the laugh! That's some funny stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 01, 2019, 10:49:35 pm
Published 3 days ago
Florida man's murder plot against wife backfires after he's left paralyzed
By Louis Casiano | Fox News

A Virginia judge on Wednesday denied bond to a Florida man whose alleged plot to murder his wife went awry earlier this month when he was shot and paralyzed.

Henry Frank Herbig, 65, appeared in court via video conference from his jail hospital bed. He is charged with aggravated malicious wounding and breaking and entering with intent to commit a felony.

Prosecutors said Herbig, 65, broke into the Virginia Beach home of his estranged wife on Sept. 8 and assaulted her and her daughter with a wrench, WGNT-TV in Norfolk reported.

He was shot in the spine by his stepdaughter during the attack and left paralyzed. Authorities determined she acted in self-defense and did not press charges.  ...  Rest of story at FOX News (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-mans-murder-plot-against-wife-backfires-after-hes-left-paralyzed)
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/HH.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
That's a shame
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 01, 2019, 11:01:50 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)

@240B

Ok,I have heard of strange "hobbies",but I'm guessing that one won't be topped anytime soon.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 01, 2019, 11:03:13 pm
Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.

@Sanguine

Thank you. I was actually a little bit shocked by that one,and I don't shock easily.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 01, 2019, 11:50:24 pm
@Sanguine

Thank you. I was actually a little bit shocked by that one,and I don't shock easily.

Looking out for you,  Pete.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 04, 2019, 12:32:05 pm
Startled Florida man fatally shoots son-in-law during birthday surprise
By Tamar Lapin
October 3, 2019
Quote
A Florida man was so startled when his son-in-law jumped out from behind some bushes for a birthday surprise that he shot and killed him, authorities said Thursday.

Richard Dennis, 61, won’t be charged in the accidental shooting of his daughter’s husband, Christopher Bergan, Santa Rosa Sheriff Bob Johnson told reporters at a news conference.

Bergan, 37, had flown in from Norway on Tuesday for the surprise and at around 11:30 p.m. knocked on the back door of his father-in-law’s Gulf Breeze home, then hid behind bushes.  ...

Earlier that evening, Dennis had gotten into an argument with another relative because that person had come by the home and loudly banged on the front door.

When he heard the loud raps again an hour later, Dennis believed it was that same relative and opened the door while armed. ...
Full story (https://nypost.com/2019/10/03/startled-florida-man-fatally-shoots-son-in-law-during-birthday-surprise/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 04, 2019, 01:35:55 pm
Startled Florida man fatally shoots son-in-law during birthday surprise
By Tamar Lapin
October 3, 2019 Full story (https://nypost.com/2019/10/03/startled-florida-man-fatally-shoots-son-in-law-during-birthday-surprise/)

That's so sad!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 05, 2019, 01:01:43 am
One of the basic rules: Always make sure of your target, and what is behind it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on October 05, 2019, 01:53:19 am
One of the basic rules: Always make sure of your target, and what is behind it.
Unless you're Joe 'shotgun' Biden happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 05, 2019, 01:08:11 pm
Florida woman strikes again, a triumph for equality, the sisterhood and all that.
Quote
Florida woman arrested after parents find 24 pipe bombs in her bedroom
By John Bowden - 10/04/19 12:34 PM EDT

A Florida woman was arrested Friday after her parents called the police following their discovery of two dozen pipe bombs in her bedroom.

Local news affiliate Fox 13 reported that Michelle Louise Kolts, 27, of Wimauma, Fla., was arrested after police discovered a weapons cache in her room alongside materials and literature about domestic terrorism and mass shootings.

Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister said at a press conference that Kolts had the supplies necessary to kill thousands of Americans. Other weapons seized alongside the pipe bombs included knives, nunchucks and a number of pellet guns. ...
More (https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/464399-florida-woman-arrested-after-parents-find-24-pipe-bombs-in-her-bedroom)

Still living with the parents at age 27.

Another account at the Tampa Bay Times (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2019/10/04/wimauma-woman-arrested-for-making-two-dozen-pipe-bombs-deputies-say/) says:
Quote
"What is even more frightening is that is that each pipe bomb contained nails, metallic pellets or a combination of both and would have taken less than 60 seconds per device to add the powder and fuse material she already possesses to detonate each bomb," Chronister said.
(https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/nyh4aa9JWjF-MR8WTiCV54BBWvY=/200x0/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/E6QZKCJKAJDILH75RXJQI3ZRSE.jpg)
What, me worry?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Axeslinger on October 05, 2019, 01:11:44 pm
That’s a 27 year old woman?!?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: xyno on October 05, 2019, 01:19:21 pm
That’s a 27 year old woman?!?

I wouldn't be "I'm-gonna-build-a-crap-load-of-pipe-bombs" frustrated but I'd be frustrated too.  Yikes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 06, 2019, 12:01:50 pm
Florida woman strikes again, a triumph for equality, the sisterhood and all that.More (https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/464399-florida-woman-arrested-after-parents-find-24-pipe-bombs-in-her-bedroom)

Still living with the parents at age 27.

Another account at the Tampa Bay Times (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2019/10/04/wimauma-woman-arrested-for-making-two-dozen-pipe-bombs-deputies-say/) says:(https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/nyh4aa9JWjF-MR8WTiCV54BBWvY=/200x0/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/E6QZKCJKAJDILH75RXJQI3ZRSE.jpg)
What, me worry?
Gee, mom, they're maracas....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 07, 2019, 06:17:05 pm
The way to a woman's heart ...
Quote
Florida man arrested after pulling machete on woman who refused to date him: Records
Posted: 5:43 PM, Oct 05, 2019
Updated: 10:13 AM, Oct 06, 2019
By: WFTS Digital Staff

CLEARWATER, Fla. — A man in Clearwater is facing aggravated assault charges after he pulled a machete on a woman who refused to date him, according to arrest records.

Clearwater Police arrested Leonard Thomas, 55, just before 7 p.m. on Friday night. Police say Thomas and the victim were arguing when he became angry because she wouldn't date him. Thomas pulled the machete from a sheath on his belt and raised it toward the victim and said "I'll cut you up," according to police.   ...
More (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-after-pulling-machete-on-woman-who-refused-to-date-him-records)
(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3bccd94/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1000x563+0+1/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fewscripps.brightspotcdn.com%2Ffa%2Fe3%2F363bd5f6415bb8d004b0be67236c%2Fleonard-thomas.png)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 08, 2019, 11:24:20 pm
Palm City man accused of enticing alligator to bite him, pouring beer in its mouth
Sara Marino, Treasure Coast Newspapers Published 3:33 p.m. ET Oct. 7, 2019 | Updated 10:49 a.m. ET Oct. 8, 2019

PALM CITY— A Hobe Sound man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into the reptile's mouth after his friend caught the animal.

Timothy Kepke, 27, of the 6200 block of Southeast Croton Place in Hobe Sound and Noah Osborne, 22, of the 3000 block of South Kanner Highway in Stuart were both arrested Oct. 3 on one felony charge each of unlawfully taking an alligator.

In August, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission got a complaint about Kepke holding an alligator and enticing the reptile to bite his right forearm and then pouring beer in the animal's mouth, according to a FWC report.  ... More at News-Press (https://www.news-press.com/story/news/crime/martin-county/2019/10/07/hobe-sound-man-accused-pouring-beer-into-alligators-mouth/3898854002/)

(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2019/10/07/PTCN/32cbd87a-ab5c-40e0-a3b0-c057e5f07195-Noah_Osborne_left_and_Timothy_Kepke_right.jpg?width=540&height=&fit=bounds&auto=webp)
Osborne, left; Kepke, right
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 02:48:59 pm
The way to a woman's heart ...More (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-after-pulling-machete-on-woman-who-refused-to-date-him-records)
(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3bccd94/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1000x563+0+1/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fewscripps.brightspotcdn.com%2Ffa%2Fe3%2F363bd5f6415bb8d004b0be67236c%2Fleonard-thomas.png)
Second rib down, next to the sternum....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 09, 2019, 03:22:30 pm
Second rib down, next to the sternum....
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 03:32:55 pm
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.
Well, that's the quickest way to her heart, using the tools he had at hand. (I was being sarcastic, if reasonably anatomically accurate). Likely flowers and chocolates would have worked better for both him and her.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 09, 2019, 03:34:16 pm
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.

@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 03:43:19 pm
@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.
Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 09, 2019, 07:06:26 pm
Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.

@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 07:11:15 pm
@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.
Can't see the chancres for the other sores...Maybe Meth kills spirochetes?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 07:58:04 pm
"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."

Florida Man 2.0
Inside the ‘genius tendencies’ of Jacksonville Jaguars QB Gardner Minshew


https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27801045/florida-man-20-genius-tendencies-jacksonville-jaguars-qb-gardner-minshew (https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27801045/florida-man-20-genius-tendencies-jacksonville-jaguars-qb-gardner-minshew)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 08:04:30 pm
(rm dupe)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 09, 2019, 08:12:45 pm
Florida man pours beer into alligator’s mouth, encourages it to bite him
Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 08:26:52 pm
Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots.  :laugh:
Duplicate removed in due course.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 09, 2019, 08:33:00 pm
How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 10, 2019, 01:11:18 am
How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.
I suspect it involves pouring beer down one's own throat first.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 10, 2019, 01:57:21 pm
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.


https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/ (https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 10, 2019, 02:03:04 pm
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.


https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/ (https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/)
Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 10, 2019, 02:19:48 pm
Quote
and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.
:thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 10, 2019, 02:26:24 pm
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head.


@jmyrlefuller

Dood bees stylish!


Quote
Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

Who says it's hard to find affordable entertainment? This guy even makes house calls and puts on a FREE show!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 10, 2019, 02:28:57 pm

Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
 

@goatprairie

What do you mean by "now"?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on October 10, 2019, 07:36:38 pm
Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.

No, gators are strictly third date only.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: xyno on October 11, 2019, 06:47:15 pm
It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.


(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/10/1862/1048/Russell-Furr-e1570715366962.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c (https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 11, 2019, 06:54:35 pm
It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.


(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/10/1862/1048/Russell-Furr-e1570715366962.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c (https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c)

OK, this is AR so I have to ask:  Which one is the brother?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 17, 2019, 11:40:43 am
Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”


https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 17, 2019, 12:32:38 pm
Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”


https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/)

@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on October 17, 2019, 07:50:09 pm
@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.




I don't think that's weird at all @sneakypete  given your life experience. :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 19, 2019, 01:16:19 pm
Quote
Naked Florida Man Uses Hammer and Forklift to Damage Warehouse Before Taking a Shower
By Jason Murdock On 10/17/19 at 11:32 AM EDT

A Florida man has pleaded not guilty after being accused of causing more than $1,000 worth of damage at two Cape Coral plumbing businesses, police say.

Joseph Michael Bieniek, 24, was detained by deputies from the Lee County Sheriff's Office last Saturday after being found inside a premises without any clothing and still holding a hammer he allegedly used to smash up windows and doors, the Fort Myers News-Press reported.  ...

The surveillance video shows the man being led out of the business in cuffs, while wearing a blue United Plumbing shirt. "I swear to God I was in the bathroom taking a ****," he can be heard saying, before telling deputies that he worked there. WBBH reported Bieniek initially refused to put down his hammer, which forced police to use a K-9 unit to subdue him.  ...
Full story at Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-crime-joseph-michael-bieniek-arrested-naked-hammer-damage-plumbing-warehouse-1465953)
(https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1537492/joseph-michael-bieniek.webp?w=737&f=2a1f8ac40a3fa2068b1ed4ef238d3878)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 19, 2019, 03:12:43 pm
Quote
Full story at Newsweek

Newsweek is not giving Florida Man reports?

Oh,how the mighty has fallen!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 19, 2019, 04:52:08 pm
Florida woman forces husband to sign divorce papers at gunpoint

45-year-old Pensacola resident Millanie Sherbrook was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill(...) Sherbrook and her husband were arguing about divorce when he refused to sign the papers, saying he would rather handle the matter in court. Deputies say that’s when Sherbrook grabbed a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber handgun, pointed it at her husband and told him to sign the divorce papers.

The man gave into Sherbrook’s demands and signed the divorce papers, but according to WKRG, Sherbrook continued to follow the man with the gun.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 19, 2019, 04:54:04 pm
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rziE39JWfs#)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 19, 2019, 05:05:36 pm
Florida woman forces husband to sign divorce papers at gunpoint

45-year-old Pensacola resident Millanie Sherbrook was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill(...) Sherbrook and her husband were arguing about divorce when he refused to sign the papers, saying he would rather handle the matter in court. Deputies say that’s when Sherbrook grabbed a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber handgun, pointed it at her husband and told him to sign the divorce papers.

The man gave into Sherbrook’s demands and signed the divorce papers, but according to WKRG, Sherbrook continued to follow the man with the gun.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html)

@jmyrlefuller

I will admit to not being the most clever man any of you have ever met when it comes to dealing with wimmins,but even *I* know that when they start pointing guns at you it is a good idea to sign the damn divorce papers.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 21, 2019, 11:49:26 pm
Florida man arrested for DUI on a segway
Deputies say around 4:34 p.m., 48-year-old Andy Sigears was spotted by a lieutenant as he was driving a segway eastbound on Dunson Road, which is also where a Polk County Sheriff’s Office substation is located.

The lieutenant who saw Sigears said he was in the middle of the westbound lanes, unsteady and swerving while impeding traffic. Several cars were seen going around Sigears by going into the opposite lane of traffic.


https://www.wfla.com/news/polk-county/man-arrested-for-dui-on-segway-in-polk-county/ (https://www.wfla.com/news/polk-county/man-arrested-for-dui-on-segway-in-polk-county/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 22, 2019, 12:23:59 am
Had to look it up to see what a Segway is.

We country people are a simple people,and weuns just doan no bout all that fancy stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 22, 2019, 12:27:01 am
Had to look it up to see what a Segway is.

We country people are a simple people,and weuns just doan no bout all that fancy stuff.
Truth be told, I'm surprised they still exist.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 22, 2019, 12:34:21 am
Truth be told, I'm surprised they still exist.

Police Departments all around the country have a heavy investment in keeping these car-priced gizmos going.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 02:14:46 am
Police Departments all around the country have a heavy investment in keeping these car-priced gizmos going.
Not here. They don't come in 4WD...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 25, 2019, 02:36:33 am
Not here. They don't come in 4WD...

I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 02:50:58 am
I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:
:beer:
Oh, we have our isolated islands of urbanity, but I just can't see one busting snowdrifts...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 25, 2019, 07:34:17 am
I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:

CORRECTION: It IS a total joke in the sticks... Like them glorified golf carts y'all call smart cars...
We point and laugh.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 25, 2019, 01:39:13 pm
Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target
By Jeff Tavss - Executive Producer
Posted: 2:54 PM, October 23, 2019
Updated: 3:43 PM, October 23, 2019

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after being caught having sex with a stuffed animal inside Target.

Witnesses told police they saw Cody Meader, 20, take a large Olaf from "Frozen" off the store shelves at a St. Petersburg location and begin to "dry hump" the toy.   ...
(https://bobcat.grahamdigital.com/6d1ef37d9c299ce926cceab22d1770ca22f2d090/fit-630x353-000.jpg)

Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 25, 2019, 06:05:10 pm
Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target
By Jeff Tavss - Executive Producer
Posted: 2:54 PM, October 23, 2019
Updated: 3:43 PM, October 23, 2019

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after being caught having sex with a stuffed animal inside Target.

Witnesses told police they saw Cody Meader, 20, take a large Olaf from "Frozen" off the store shelves at a St. Petersburg location and begin to "dry hump" the toy.   ...
(https://bobcat.grahamdigital.com/6d1ef37d9c299ce926cceab22d1770ca22f2d090/fit-630x353-000.jpg)

Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target)

@mountaineer

UPDATE! He is now claiming it wasn't his fault,and Elvis is to blame because "Are You Lonesome Tonight" was playing on the store speakers,and having to answer "yes" was more than he could deal with.

Not really. It's a joke,son,a joke! What is sad is that the world is so weird now you have to point out that something that absurd is an actual joke,and not a funny true event..
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 08:57:57 pm
CORRECTION: It IS a total joke in the sticks... Like them glorified golf carts y'all call smart cars...
We point and laugh.
Oh, I dunno, a Smart car with a sunroof would make an interesting planter...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 08:59:52 pm
@mountaineer

UPDATE! He is now claiming it wasn't his fault,and Elvis is to blame because "Are You Lonesome Tonight" was playing on the store speakers,and having to answer "yes" was more than he could deal with.

Not really. It's a joke,son,a joke! What is sad is that the world is so weird now you have to point out that something that absurd is an actual joke,and not a funny true event..
Not that it matters, because half the country lost anything resembling a sense of humor about the time Political Correctness became a thing.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 06:48:11 am
Oh, I dunno, a Smart car with a sunroof would make an interesting planter...

I actually have a friend who is mounting a smart car body to a Willy's jeep frame... Axle-over spring lift, double frame lift, and 15x37 Swampers. Should be a hoot.
I told him he should mount the cutting deck off his Toro on it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 06:50:19 am
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7e/10/a1/7e10a10f394b5505e2ce0c32d57e586b.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sighlass on October 26, 2019, 08:44:24 am
Overnight, a woman was lit on fire at Taco Bell, a church burned and car fires were reported. Here's what we know.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/ (https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/)

________________________

Nutshell... homeless black transsexual gets mad at Taco Bell employee for having him kicked out from being rude to customers so he comes back and throws gas on her (sets her afire). The making a run for it on a bicycle he sets everything he can on fire (including a black church and several cars) and finally when cornered he jumps on police car evades several attempts to taze him and finally after fighting gets arrested.  At one point even the fire dept truck was following him around town.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on October 26, 2019, 09:31:00 am
Overnight, a woman was lit on fire at Taco Bell, a church burned and car fires were reported. Here's what we know.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/ (https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/)

________________________

Nutshell... homeless black transsexual gets mad at Taco Bell employee for having him kicked out from being rude to customers so he comes back and throws gas on her (sets her afire). The making a run for it on a bicycle he sets everything he can on fire (including a black church and several cars) and finally when cornered he jumps on police car evades several attempts to taze him and finally after fighting gets arrested.  At one point even the fire dept truck was following him around town.

Woman sets person on fire in Taco Bell, may have gone on arson spree. Church, cars set ablaze
https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Gefn on October 26, 2019, 09:58:34 am
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7e/10/a1/7e10a10f394b5505e2ce0c32d57e586b.jpg)

Oh dear ....
I just woke up, read this with my morning coffee and laughed. Hot coffee came out of my nose. Painful!

@roamer_1
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 10:40:20 am
Oh dear ....
I just woke up, read this with my morning coffee and laughed. Hot coffee came out of my nose. Painful!

@roamer_1

@Gefn

Happy to be of service!!  happy77
Sorry to be such a pain in the... nose  :whistle:
 :silly: :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 26, 2019, 10:04:37 pm
Florida man who identifies as a woman goes on arson spree involving a Taco Bell
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy)
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 26, 2019, 10:13:14 pm
Florida man who identifies as a woman goes on arson spree involving a Taco Bell
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy)
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")

FTA:

Quote
Williams was charged with premeditated homicide, resisting an officer with violence and aggravated assault on an officer.

The victim he set fire to is dead?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 26, 2019, 10:37:24 pm
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")
Exactly. If you're going to pull that "identifies as woman" $#!t, at least shave off your beard.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 26, 2019, 11:33:04 pm
Exactly. If you're going to pull that "identifies as woman" $#!t, at least shave off your beard.

@mountaineer

Dat bees sexist!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 26, 2019, 11:50:05 pm
@mountaineer

Dat bees sexist!

If I had a beard, it would identify as pubic hair.   :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Formerly Once-Ler on October 27, 2019, 12:13:41 pm
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html)

Quote
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.

I can't post the pictures so check out the link to see this beautiful woman of color who set another woman on fire.

Also I'm just assuming the arsonist woman is a liberal.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: musiclady on October 27, 2019, 12:49:54 pm
The bearded lady?

I saw one of those in a circus once.....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Mod1 on October 27, 2019, 01:10:09 pm
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html)
Moved to appropriate category and merged with existing thread.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 29, 2019, 10:39:41 pm
Quote
Man Arrested After Spitting on Trump Supporter at Restaurant, Physically Assaulting Him Over MAGA Hat
 by Cassandra Fairbanks
 October 29, 2019

A Florida man has been arrested after confronting a 67-year-old man, spitting on him and slapping his “Make American Great Again” hat at a restaurant on Friday evening.

Robert Youngblood, 67, was sitting at the bar at Hurricane Grill in Vero Beach when he was confronted by Matthias Ajple, 43.   ... Ajple walked over and said: ‘You should go back to Russia you f*cking communist.'”

The police report says that Ajple then slapped the man’s MAGA hat, leaned over a gate, and spit on him — before fleeing the scene.  ...

Following his arrest, Ajple bizarrely told the police that Trump supporters are “communists” and “racists.” He added, “I don’t even care that I’m going to jail, this is actually exciting, plus I have more time on this earth than he does anyway, he probably feels so good about himself.” ...
Gateway Pundit (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/10/man-arrested-after-spitting-on-trump-supporter-at-restaurant-physically-assaulting-him-over-maga-hat/)
(https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-content/uploads/5-10-9-600x397.jpg)
Perp
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 29, 2019, 10:55:50 pm
Gateway Pundit (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/10/man-arrested-after-spitting-on-trump-supporter-at-restaurant-physically-assaulting-him-over-maga-hat/)
(https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-content/uploads/5-10-9-600x397.jpg)
Perp

WTF is it with his clothes?  Is he wearing a shroud or something?  Tell you what, somebody spits at me at a restaurant and he'll be eating his teeth.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 29, 2019, 11:47:20 pm
WTF is it with his clothes?  Is he wearing a shroud or something?  Tell you what, somebody spits at me at a restaurant and he'll be eating his teeth.

@Cyber Liberty

I'm in my 70's too,and if someone spits on me in a restaurant,they are going to be trying to swallow a coffee cup or sugar shaker.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 30, 2019, 11:52:45 am
@Cyber Liberty

I'm in my 70's too,and if someone spits on me in a restaurant,they are going to be trying to swallow a coffee cup or sugar shaker.
He said: “I don’t even care that I’m going to jail, this is actually exciting, plus I have more time on this earth than he does anyway,

After that, It would be presumptuous to assume he has more time on Earth than I do, or anyone does. He might not survive such encounters if he can't run away.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 31, 2019, 01:22:05 pm
This one is a "Florida girl" story:
Quote
A 14-year-old Florida Girl walked up to a man dressed as Donald Trump and punched him in the jaw as her friends recorded the attack, police say.

The victim and two family members were waiting in line Friday evening outside the Naples Haunted Gross House at the Collier County fairgrounds when he was slugged by the teenage assailant, according to a police report.

After punching the man, the laughing girl returned to her place in line with several other minors, at least one of whom recorded the attack and posted video of it to Instagram.  ...

Cops, who noted that the teenager’s “sole motivation was to strike ‘Trump,’” cited the girl for misdemeanor battery.  ...
The Smoking Gun (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/battery/teen-trump-attacker-762590)

Who can explain to her that a person dressed up in a Halloween costume is not actually what he purports to be? Not a cowboy, not a zombie, not the president...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 02:47:47 pm
This one is a "Florida girl" story:The Smoking Gun (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/battery/teen-trump-attacker-762590)

Who can explain to her that a person dressed up in a Halloween costume is not actually what he purports to be? Not a cowboy, not a zombie, not the president...
It ever amazes me how many people no longer seem to perceive the boundary between fact and fiction, where reality begins and fantasy ends.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 31, 2019, 02:58:13 pm
It ever amazes me how many people no longer seem to perceive the boundary between fact and fiction, where reality begins and fantasy ends.

Or the simple rule of etiquette that it's NOT OK to "punch a Nazi in the throat."  People seem to think that it's OK to assault somebody because they might think differently.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 03:00:33 pm
Or the simple rule of etiquette that it's NOT OK to "punch a Nazi in the throat."  People seem to think that it's OK to assault somebody because they might think differently.
We're a long way from "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 31, 2019, 03:05:38 pm
We're a long way from "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 03:11:36 pm
The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.
They wouldn't be Leftists if they weren't messed up. They can't see their behaviour is marching in lockstep with the SA, and it doesn't get much more Fascist than that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 31, 2019, 03:19:24 pm
The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.

@Cyber Liberty

Not as messed up as the survivors will be if they decide to attack me. I've never been much of a "turn the other cheek" fan. I am more of a "I will set your ass on FIRE if you try to do that!" fan.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 03:57:51 pm
@Cyber Liberty

Not as messed up as the survivors will be if they decide to attack me. I've never been much of a "turn the other cheek" fan. I am more of a "I will set your ass on FIRE if you try to do that!" fan.
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 31, 2019, 04:05:30 pm
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:

 :silly:
Nice.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 31, 2019, 07:55:07 pm
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 31, 2019, 08:04:34 pm
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.

@sneakypete

"Now I don't know how many of them it would take to kick my a**...
But I knew how many they were gonna use"

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/31/ae/cd/31aecd863a79a9726cba4cbd4d4471c2.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on November 01, 2019, 06:07:53 am
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.
Haste makes waste... :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 01, 2019, 02:18:02 pm
Haste makes waste... :shrug:

@Smokin Joe

Huh? Waste is what you are trying to create. Or have I been doing this wrong all these years?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on November 02, 2019, 12:43:25 pm
@Smokin Joe

Huh? Waste is what you are trying to create. Or have I been doing this wrong all these years?
Depends what you are in a hurry to do.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Formerly Once-Ler on November 06, 2019, 12:58:43 am
https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2019/11/05/deputies-solve-mystery-groin-fort-pierce/2490831001/ (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2019/11/05/deputies-solve-mystery-groin-fort-pierce/2490831001/)

Off The Beat: Deputies solve mystery of the groin
Quote
ST. LUCIE COUNTY — It took X-rays, a CT scan and a doctor, but sheriff’s investigators apparently solved the mystery of the groin.

The case began Oct. 15 at the St. Lucie County jail as a 33-year-old Vero Beach woman was in the facility’s booking/intake area, an affidavit states.

Asked whether she had drugs or contraband, the woman said, “No.”

<snip>

The woman was arrested on charges including three counts of possession of a controlled substance without a prescription and single counts each of possession of drug paraphernalia, introduction of contraband into a detention facility and tampering with evidence.

The story is not that great but oh my...that headline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 25, 2019, 01:15:37 pm
Florida man spits food into woman's mouth in road rage encounter

David Wipperman, 61, was taken into custody Thursday in connection with the incident on Oct. 29, when Wipperman got out of his truck and approached a woman driving nearby just before 6 p.m.

It's unclear where the two were during the encounter, but Wipperman walked up to the woman, and she rolled down the window of her sedan to apologize, according to the Tampa Bay Times. That's when, authorities say, the man spit the food he was chewing at her. “The food struck the victim in the face and entered (her) mouth,” an arrest report states, per the Times.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-spits-food-at-woman-road-rage.amp (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-spits-food-at-woman-road-rage.amp)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 28, 2019, 02:45:42 pm
Masturbating Florida man slugs elderly man who asked him to stop
By Ben Feuerherd
November 28, 2019

A drunk man who was masturbating in a Florida supermarket’s parking lot slugged an elderly man who told him to cut it out, a report said.

The suspect, 39-year-old Kerry Vandergriff, was allegedly masturbating with his pants down in the Fresco Y Mas in Miami on Saturday afternoon at about 5:30 p.m., CBS New York reported.

The elderly man approached Vandergriff and told him to stop, he later told police.

Vandergriff then slugged him in the face, knocking him to the ground, according to the report. ... NY Post (https://nypost.com/2019/11/28/masturbating-florida-man-slugs-elderly-man-who-asked-him-to-stop/)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/vandergriff-florida.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Was that wrong?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on November 28, 2019, 09:03:59 pm
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 28, 2019, 10:42:05 pm
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:

@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on November 29, 2019, 12:53:48 pm
@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 29, 2019, 01:03:46 pm
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!

@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on November 29, 2019, 01:13:57 pm
@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
If that is your story stick to it.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 29, 2019, 01:33:40 pm
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.
Quote
Ranking this year's top 'Florida Man' stories
Crimes in the sunshine state this year have elevated ridiculousness to a whole new level.
Author: Adam Longo
Published: 9:29 PM EST November 27, 2019
Updated: 11:02 PM EST November 27, 2019

FLORIDA, USA — We've come to expect nothing less from the phallic shaped peninsula extending into the Atlantic Ocean. If you want to play a game with family over Thanksgiving, consider finding a wacky news headline and asking those gathered around, "did this happen in Florida, or somewhere else?" ...   "Florida Man" headlines spread across the globe at the speed of light. The stories captivate readers who become simultaneously repulsed and attracted to antics that even the most talented Hollywood writers are envious of.   ...

When a police officer tells you that you have the right to remain silent, it's clear that "Florida Man" doesn't heed that advice.   ...
Entire article at WUSA9 (https://www.wusa9.com/article/entertainment/ranking-2019-florida-man-stories/65-f7eb7fdd-b3ac-4991-97c2-754569aef47d)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on November 29, 2019, 03:33:45 pm
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.Entire article at WUSA9 (https://www.wusa9.com/article/entertainment/ranking-2019-florida-man-stories/65-f7eb7fdd-b3ac-4991-97c2-754569aef47d)

But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 29, 2019, 04:21:59 pm
But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 29, 2019, 06:35:21 pm
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!

@mountaineer

...alligators will be raped.....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 02, 2019, 10:33:26 pm
Kid shoots Florida man with a Nerf gun. Drunk, he returns fire with a real gun.

A man who was drunk on whiskey and beer pulled out a gun and shot a 7-year-old boy while the children were playing with Nerf guns, according to the Sanford Police Department.

Anthony Knuth told officers that he had taken shots of Southern Comfort and drank beer the night of the shooting and if he shot the child, it must have been an accident because he couldn’t remember it, according to the report.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/12/02/florida-man-shoots-child-after-taking-shots-of-whiskey-police-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/12/02/florida-man-shoots-child-after-taking-shots-of-whiskey-police-say/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 05, 2019, 08:49:36 pm
Florida woman is pregnant. But which one of the four Florida men she's dating is the daddy?

Tory Ojeda, 20, from Jacksonville, Florida, met one of her partners Marc, 18, in high school and then started a relationship with Travis, 23, two months later.

Their love story began three years ago and she has since announced her engagement to Travis in July.

She also found love with their long-term mutual friends Ethan, 22, and Christopher, 22. While seven months ago, Tory and Chris found out that they were pregnant with a baby girl.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 17, 2019, 11:47:02 pm
Quote
Florida man sentenced to 20 years after bringing condoms, pink dress to child-sex sting
By David Aaro, Fox News
December 13, 2019

A Florida man was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison on Thursday for attempting to entice a child for sex, according to the Department of Justice.

Frederick M Pohl, Jr., 41, from Clermont, was arrested after he arrived at an Orlando hotel with condoms and a pink dress, following ongoing conversations with an undercover federal agent in Detroit that involved his desire to rape an 8-year-old girl. ...
  NY Post (https://nypost.com/2019/12/13/florida-man-sentenced-to-20-years-after-bringing-condoms-pink-dress-to-child-sex-sting/)

At first glance, I thought the pink dress was for him.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 22, 2019, 11:13:12 pm
Florida man, 88, cited for school bus on property, says he can’t build toys without it


A Jacksonville toymaker was cited for having a school bus on his property. The city said it shouldn’t be there, but Raymond Zipple said he can’t work without it.


“This is a bus we were using for the last six years with permits from the city,” Zipple said.

Zipple is 88 years old and said making toys has been his hobby for years.


https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending/florida-man-88-cited-school-bus-property-says-he-cant-build-toys-without-it/ATBTQKKIEJHMNPOHOFQGZF7OOM/ (https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending/florida-man-88-cited-school-bus-property-says-he-cant-build-toys-without-it/ATBTQKKIEJHMNPOHOFQGZF7OOM/)

(I'm siding with Florida Man on this one.)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: libertybele on December 22, 2019, 11:28:26 pm
Florida woman is pregnant. But which one of the four Florida men she's dating is the daddy?

Tory Ojeda, 20, from Jacksonville, Florida, met one of her partners Marc, 18, in high school and then started a relationship with Travis, 23, two months later.

Their love story began three years ago and she has since announced her engagement to Travis in July.

She also found love with their long-term mutual friends Ethan, 22, and Christopher, 22. While seven months ago, Tory and Chris found out that they were pregnant with a baby girl.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailus)

Clearly this is a case for the Maurey show.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on December 23, 2019, 02:39:06 pm
Clearly this is a case for the Maurey show.
Just to be contrary I am going to say: None of the above."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: ChemEngrMBA on December 23, 2019, 02:55:45 pm
Florida has nothing on California, where Hollywood makes pictures of our true stories and true stories of our pictures.
Plastic straws are banned and plastic syringes are handed out for free.  Use 'em and then toss them in our streets as you take a crap.

http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com (http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 23, 2019, 02:56:15 pm
Thank goodness for the availability and reliability of DNA paternity testing.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on December 23, 2019, 06:29:24 pm

Plastic straws are banned and plastic syringes are handed out for free.  Use 'em and then toss them in our streets as you take a crap.

http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com (http://PeoplesRepublicOfCalifornia.wordpress.com)

@DeerSlayer

Those words with a photo on them would make one HELL of a political poster.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 24, 2019, 03:12:01 pm
Quote
Florida man busted for handing out pot ‘because it was Christmas’
By Jackie Salo
December 24, 2019

Even Florida man is getting in the holiday spirit.

A 67-year-old merrymaker was busted in St. Petersburg for handing out marijuana Saturday night “because it was Christmas,” authorities said.

Richard Ellis Spurrer was confronted by officers around 11 p.m. after he was allegedly spotted handing out weed to passersby, news station WFLA reported.

Spurrer — who had 45 grams of marijuana on him — chocked up his generosity to the holidays, telling cops that the hand-outs were “because it was Christmas,” according to Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. ...
  NY Post (https://nypost.com/2019/12/24/florida-man-busted-for-handing-out-pot-because-it-was-christmas/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPTwitter)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/richard-spurrer.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Is it just me, or are all these Florida men starting to look like the same guy?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on December 27, 2019, 08:45:24 pm
I can't wait to see what Florida Man does to celebrate New Years Eve!! :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 28, 2019, 03:39:54 am
The craziest Florida Man stories of 2019
https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/craziest-florida-man-stories-of-2019/ (https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/craziest-florida-man-stories-of-2019/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 03, 2020, 02:00:17 pm
Florida man arrested for fighting a gas pump

Collier County deputies arrested Hunter Bleich after they say he disturbed the peace at the Mobil gas station on Executive Drive in Naples.

Bleich is accused of kicking and punching gas pumps, as well as taking swings at equipment inside of a drive-thru car wash.


https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump (https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump)
https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples (https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 03, 2020, 02:40:03 pm
Florida man arrested for fighting a gas pump

Collier County deputies arrested Hunter Bleich after they say he disturbed the peace at the Mobil gas station on Executive Drive in Naples.

Bleich is accused of kicking and punching gas pumps, as well as taking swings at equipment inside of a drive-thru car wash.


https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump (https://wjactv.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-arrested-for-fighting-a-gas-pump)
https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples (https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41490533/man-accused-of-angrily-punching-kicking-gas-pumps-in-naples)
(Florida) Man vs. the Machine!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 05, 2020, 01:50:39 am
Florida man bites dog. A police dog. Yes, meth was involved. And of course he was naked.

Last Friday in High Springs, Florida, police were called to a residence, where they found Donald Watts high on methamphetamine and rolling around in the mud in a ditch. He was also completely naked and making bird noises.

When Watts spotted the cops, he punched one of them and failed to be deterred by stun guns. Accompanied by a K-9 officer named Casper, police found Watts in some woods nearby. He proceeded to get down on all fours and mimic the police dog, which he bit in the ear.


https://921ctq.iheart.com/featured/maverick-mornings/content/2020-01-03-naked-florida-man-arrested-for-biting-police-dog-in-ear-while-high-on-meth/?ICID=ref_fark
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 05, 2020, 03:25:45 am
Florida man bites dog. A police dog. Yes, meth was involved. And of course he was naked.

Last Friday in High Springs, Florida, police were called to a residence, where they found Donald Watts high on methamphetamine and rolling around in the mud in a ditch. He was also completely naked and making bird noises.

When Watts spotted the cops, he punched one of them and failed to be deterred by stun guns. Accompanied by a K-9 officer named Casper, police found Watts in some woods nearby. He proceeded to get down on all fours and mimic the police dog, which he bit in the ear.


https://921ctq.iheart.com/featured/maverick-mornings/content/2020-01-03-naked-florida-man-arrested-for-biting-police-dog-in-ear-while-high-on-meth/?ICID=ref_fark
@jmyrlefuller

Well,it IS "HIGH SPRINGS,Florida. Seems like a man could go out and cut loose a little on a Friday night in a place like that without people siccing the cops on him,doesn't it?

BTW,what kind of rookie cop is it that doesn't know a stun gun just gets a meth head sexually excited? It's the equivalent of the guy in Indy saying "Gentlemen,start your engines!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 05, 2020, 04:07:05 am
BTW,what kind of rookie cop is it that doesn't know a stun gun just gets a meth head sexually excited? It's the equivalent of the guy in Indy saying "Gentlemen,start your engines!"

@sneakypete

He sure as shit knows now.  Won't make that mistake again.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 07, 2020, 01:25:05 pm
Girl Power, baby! Florida woman comes through again!
Quote
Florida woman busted for dumping feces on landlord, attempting cover-up
By Yaron Steinbuch
January 7, 2020

She was full of crap.

A Florida woman accused of flinging a bucket of human feces in her landlord’s face claimed she meant to throw a bucket of water but got the two containers mixed up, according to the Miami Herald.

Volusia County sheriff’s deputies responded Saturday to a trailer in Osteen, where they found Joanne Mercader, 59, with caked poop on her face and another woman dripping in human waste, the newspaper reported. ...
Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/01/07/florida-woman-busted-for-dumping-feces-on-landlord-attempting-cover-up/?utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/joanne-mercader-04.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 07, 2020, 01:35:30 pm
Sounds like they were both sh**faced.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on January 07, 2020, 03:03:26 pm
Grabbed the wrong chamber pot. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on January 07, 2020, 03:08:35 pm

(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/joanne-mercader-04.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)

Reminds me when Roy from King Pin had to work off his rent.  These ladies have to be related.

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZG_JwDzxsuM/T8lrVr6KhDI/AAAAAAAAAz0/Nr7xRk-lIlM/s1600/Lin+Shaye.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 07, 2020, 05:27:39 pm
Girl Power, baby! Florida woman comes through again!Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/01/07/florida-woman-busted-for-dumping-feces-on-landlord-attempting-cover-up/?utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/joanne-mercader-04.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
I ask you, who doesn't confuse a bucket of human waste with a bucket of water? I always have  a  bucket of each within handy reach for certain circumstances. Like for the last investment agent who keeps knocking on our door.  22222frying pan
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 08, 2020, 11:49:13 pm
Florida man wakes up to burglar sucking on his toes
By Natalie Musumeci
January 8, 2020

A snoozing Florida man received a very rude awakening on Christmas Eve — from a creepy burglar sucking on his toes.

The startled Bradenton resident then asked the sicko what he was doing, to which the stranger replied that he “was there to suck toes,” the Bradenton Herald reported, citing an incident report by the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

Police say a fight then erupted and the suspected tried to grab the man’s genitals – and even threatened that he had a gun. ... Rest of story (https://nypost.com/2020/01/08/florida-man-wakes-up-to-burglar-sucking-on-his-toes/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 09, 2020, 03:53:27 am
Florida man wakes up to burglar sucking on his toes
By Natalie Musumeci
January 8, 2020

A snoozing Florida man received a very rude awakening on Christmas Eve — from a creepy burglar sucking on his toes.

The startled Bradenton resident then asked the sicko what he was doing, to which the stranger replied that he “was there to suck toes,” the Bradenton Herald reported, citing an incident report by the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

Police say a fight then erupted and the suspected tried to grab the man’s genitals – and even threatened that he had a gun. ... Rest of story (https://nypost.com/2020/01/08/florida-man-wakes-up-to-burglar-sucking-on-his-toes/)

@mountaineer  Ya think?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on January 09, 2020, 01:27:08 pm
@mountaineer  Ya think?
Has anyone heard from Dick Morris recently.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 09, 2020, 01:31:37 pm
Don't be surprised if Joe Biden moves from hair sniffing to toe sucking. It's a slippery slope.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 09, 2020, 07:30:34 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/X7jCn2k.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 09, 2020, 07:43:11 pm
@240B

EXCALIGATOR

 :silly: :silly: :silly:
 :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on January 09, 2020, 09:00:27 pm
If anybody can get the knife out...Florida man can.  There will be liquor involved.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 09, 2020, 09:14:44 pm
If anybody can get the knife out...Florida man can.  There will be liquor involved.
Yes sir. I have run with guys in Florida, Texas, Louisiana, etc. If any one of them saw this in a lake or pond, it would be hold my beer shirt off first, jump in the pond and chase that sucker down. It would be an automatic response to seeing this. They would simply not be able to stop themselves. It's a reflex with those guys...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on January 09, 2020, 11:32:46 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/X7jCn2k.jpg)

That is the funniest thing I have seen in awhile.  Good find.  :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 10, 2020, 12:43:25 am
@240B

I can't stop laughing.  :rolling:  :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 10, 2020, 12:52:30 am
If anybody can get the knife out...Florida man can.  There will be liquor involved.

@berdie

I sense a "Hold mah beer!" contest developing even as I type this.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 10, 2020, 01:26:22 am
@berdie

I sense a "Hold mah beer!" contest developing even as I type this.
If it doesn't end up on pay per view, or at least Youtube, someone is missing a fine opportunity....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 10, 2020, 04:45:48 am
If it doesn't end up on pay per view, or at least Youtube, someone is missing a fine opportunity....

@Smokin Joe

No kidding! I have zero interest in sports,and even I would watch it. It would have drama,humor,and competition on display,all at the same time. Something for everybody. Even the PETA people would love it because they could cheer for the gator.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 10, 2020, 07:30:32 am
There must be a hell of a story behind that knife being where it is.
I wonder if the guy who put it there, if he is still alive, will come forward and tell us the story of what happened?
That's a grampa story I would love to hear.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on January 10, 2020, 12:13:59 pm
There must be a hell of a story behind that knife being where it is.
I wonder if the guy who put it there, if he is still alive, will come forward and tell us the story of what happened?
That's a grampa story I would love to hear.

If you believe the Alligator Hunting reality shows, that is about the correct spot to kill an alligator.  Of course the professionals use a gun.  I am guessing illegal hunting, a rank amateur who opted on this animal without a gun, or mass quantities of alcohol were involved. 

In any case, if the perp were to come forward, I am guessing he'd get a visit from this local FL Game Warden.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 10, 2020, 02:09:54 pm
It was bound to happen.  *****rollingeyes*****
Quote
Florida man charged with threatening to kill Trump to avenge Soleimani
By Fox News
January 10, 2020 | 12:36am

A Florida security guard is accused of threatening to kill President Trump in retaliation for a U.S. airstrike that killed Iran’s top military general last Friday.

Chauncy Lump, 26, from the Fort Lauderdale area, faces federal charges of threatening to kill the president and remained jailed Thursday with bond set at $100,000, according to court documents filed Wednesday by the Secret Service.

Agent Lucas White wrote that shortly after Trump announced last week that a U.S. airstrike had killed Qassem Soleimani in Iraq in retaliation for plotting numerous terrorist attacks, Lump, under the name “BlackMan vs. America,” began live streaming a seven-minute video on Facebook.

During that video, agents say Lump made several threats against the president – who was staying at his Mar-a-Lago club, less than an hour away – while periodically displaying a loaded AK-47 semi-automatic rifle. ...  Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/01/10/florida-man-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-trump-to-avenge-soleimani/)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/chauncy-lump.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Chauncy
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 10, 2020, 02:56:16 pm
There must be a hell of a story behind that knife being where it is.
I wonder if the guy who put it there, if he is still alive, will come forward and tell us the story of what happened?
That's a grampa story I would love to hear.

@240B
They call him Amos Moses...  :beer:

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7GyLr7Cz2g#)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 10, 2020, 04:30:52 pm
It was bound to happen.  *****rollingeyes*****(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/chauncy-lump.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Chauncy

@mountaineer

I liked the fact that he was keeping it classy by having a towel wrapped around his head,and wearing a shower curtain.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 10, 2020, 04:35:31 pm
If you believe the Alligator Hunting reality shows, that is about the correct spot to kill an alligator.  Of course the professionals use a gun.  I am guessing illegal hunting, a rank amateur who opted on this animal without a gun, or mass quantities of alcohol were involved. 

In any case, if the perp were to come forward, I am guessing he'd get a visit from this local FL Game Warden.
Yep probably. Those shows say that the kill spot on a gator is the size of a quarter. You have to hit it just right or the bullet will glance off the thick rock-hard skull. That's why you see them frequently taking multiple shots. It's a small target. Some of them talk about killing a gator with a knife or machete in a tight spot, but they experienced experts and know exactly where to strike. And even the experts say it is a stupid thing to try. I reckon that alcohol was involved, along with some kind of a bet or a dare.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 10, 2020, 07:11:04 pm
Yep probably. Those shows say that the kill spot on a gator is the size of a quarter. You have to hit it just right or the bullet will glance off the thick rock-hard skull. That's why you see them frequently taking multiple shots. It's a small target. Some of them talk about killing a gator with a knife or machete in a tight spot, but they experienced experts and know exactly where to strike. And even the experts say it is a stupid thing to try. I reckon that alcohol was involved, along with some kind of a bet or a dare.
"I reckon that alcohol was involved"

Yuh think?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 10, 2020, 08:22:13 pm
"I reckon that alcohol was involved"

Yuh think?

@goatprairie  @240B

This is Florida Man. I am surprised he wasn't meth-powered,and jump in the water to beat the gator's ass before strangling him to death.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on January 10, 2020, 09:05:46 pm
@goatprairie  @240B

This is Florida Man. I am surprised he wasn't meth-powered,and jump in the water to beat the gator's ass before strangling him to death.




Well...it could have been both. @sneakypete  I don't know what Florida man does in a club before he goes hunting gators or what he does when he gets there, lol. :silly: Thank goodness!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 11, 2020, 02:20:03 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/cOdm0gD.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 11, 2020, 02:31:07 pm
(https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/576373143239045120-png__700.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 12, 2020, 05:32:51 am
(https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/576373143239045120-png__700.jpg)

Weird.

That matches exactly with the flight path the Ukranian commercial jet took.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 12, 2020, 03:21:04 pm
Florida Man Spits On 67-Year-Old for Wearing A MAGA Hat, Gets 90 Days Behind Bars (https://flagandcross.com/florida-man-spits-on-67-year-old-for-wearing-a-maga-hat-gets-90-days-behind-bars/?fbclid=IwAR2vRKVQMr4WrbDpvsWyA-3oFmBhQ2xmuHzn5RvygJd4CRx7HtObwmbfjVc)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 12, 2020, 03:33:20 pm
Florida Man Spits On 67-Year-Old for Wearing A MAGA Hat, Gets 90 Days Behind Bars (https://flagandcross.com/florida-man-spits-on-67-year-old-for-wearing-a-maga-hat-gets-90-days-behind-bars/?fbclid=IwAR2vRKVQMr4WrbDpvsWyA-3oFmBhQ2xmuHzn5RvygJd4CRx7HtObwmbfjVc)

@Lando Lincoln

Gee,I wonder why he didn't try knocking the hat off a healthy man his own age?

Ever notice these Dims always pick someone old and feeble,or a school kid,to attack?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 12, 2020, 03:44:12 pm
@Lando Lincoln

Gee,I wonder why he didn't try knocking the hat off a healthy man his own age?

Ever notice these Dims always pick someone old and feeble,or a school kid,to attack?

@sneakypete

Here's the video.  And notice - he spat from the safety of being behind a railing and table.  Coward.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=36&v=TlMDieRT8RY&feature=emb_logo#)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 12, 2020, 03:48:59 pm
@sneakypete

Here's the video.  And notice - he spat from the safety of being behind a railing and table.  Coward.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=36&v=TlMDieRT8RY&feature=emb_logo#)

@Lando Lincoln

I am WAAAY too old  and feeble to be playing THOSE reindeer games,but not sure how well a table and rail would protect him if he spit on me. I may be old and feeble,but MY definition of a fair fight is one *I* win.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 12, 2020, 05:03:59 pm
@Lando Lincoln

I am WAAAY too old  and feeble to be playing THOSE reindeer games,but not sure how well a table and rail would protect him if he spit on me. I may be old and feeble,but MY definition of a fair fight is one *I* win.

@sneakypete

More detail with pics.  The perp is a real a-hole, as is his wife apparently.

Vero Beach man sentenced to 90 days in jail after spitting on man wearing 'MAGA' hat, court rules (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/crime/indian-river-county/2020/01/09/vero-man-sentenced-90-days-jail-spitting-man-wearing-maga-hat/4420682002/[/url)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 12, 2020, 05:17:01 pm
How did man with no priors get 90 days in Vero Beach MAGA hat spitting case? | Opinion (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/opinion/columnists/laurence-reisman/2020/01/10/vero-beach-man-gets-90-days-jail-spit-guy-wearing-maga-hat/4427858002/)

Good opinion piece.  The older gentleman has had several surgeries on his neck for cancer.  At the time of the incident, he had 17 stitches from the most recent surgery. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 12, 2020, 05:51:12 pm
How did man with no priors get 90 days in Vero Beach MAGA hat spitting case? | Opinion (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/opinion/columnists/laurence-reisman/2020/01/10/vero-beach-man-gets-90-days-jail-spit-guy-wearing-maga-hat/4427858002/)

Good opinion piece.  The older gentleman has had several surgeries on his neck for cancer.  At the time of the incident, he had 17 stitches from the most recent surgery.

FTA:

Quote
"I don't even care that I'm going to jail; this is actually exciting," Ajple told deputies, according to an arrest affidavit. "Plus, I have more time on this earth than he does anyway; he probably feels so good about himself."

One has to be pretty stupid to say that, after getting read his Miranda rights. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on January 12, 2020, 06:16:53 pm
FTA:

One has to be pretty stupid to say that, after getting read his Miranda rights.

He is, after all, Florida Man.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 12, 2020, 07:41:22 pm
@sneakypete

More detail with pics.  The perp is a real a-hole, as is his wife apparently.

Vero Beach man sentenced to 90 days in jail after spitting on man wearing 'MAGA' hat, court rules
 (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/crime/indian-river-county/2020/01/09/vero-man-sentenced-90-days-jail-spitting-man-wearing-maga-hat/4420682002/[/url)

@Lando Lincoln

He must have been to get 90 days active for spitting on someone. That's almost unheard of.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 12, 2020, 07:45:11 pm
@sneakypete

More detail with pics.  The perp is a real a-hole, as is his wife apparently.

Vero Beach man sentenced to 90 days in jail after spitting on man wearing 'MAGA' hat, court rules
 (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/crime/indian-river-county/2020/01/09/vero-man-sentenced-90-days-jail-spitting-man-wearing-maga-hat/4420682002/[/url)
@Lando Lincoln

BTW,just HOW freaking stupid do you have to be to think Trump is a communist? No wonder that retard and his wife vote Dim.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 12, 2020, 07:46:34 pm
FTA:

One has to be pretty stupid to say that, after getting read his Miranda rights.

@Cyber Liberty

He even looks happy and is smiling smugly in his mug shots. Here is hoping someone in jail gives him an attitude adjustment while he is in there.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 05:46:26 pm
Florida Man arrested for hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars

Quote
That's right, a Florida Man, high on meth decided to climb a traffic light and go number two on passing cars. It took the police AND fire department to get him down and as Florida Man stories often end, he was arrested. More, including his epic mugshot here

https://www.huzlers.com/florida-man-arrested-for-hanging-on-traffic-light-and-shtting-on-cars-passing-underneath/ (https://www.huzlers.com/florida-man-arrested-for-hanging-on-traffic-light-and-shtting-on-cars-passing-underneath/)

(https://i0.wp.com/www.huzlers.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/you_doodle_pro_2018-08-13t04_04_17z.jpg?resize=696%2C455&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 14, 2020, 05:56:18 pm
@Lando Lincoln
BTW,just HOW freaking stupid do you have to be to think Trump is a communist?
You wouldn't believe the number of retarded Libs who think Hitler(National Socialist NAZI) was a Republican who supported Trump.
Bernie Sanders/Pow Wow Warren are National Socialists, not Trump or his supporters. However, facts and reality do not matter to Liberals. So it is useless to try to correct them with history. They don't care. Trump is a NAZI. Their mind is made up and reality only confuses them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 14, 2020, 06:49:29 pm
Florida Man arrested for hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars
Without  investigating further, I will guess  this meth head is, based on his photo, about  21 or so.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 06:55:56 pm
Florida Man arrested for hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars

Well, credit where it is due... That was a spectacular feat. You could sell tickets...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 14, 2020, 06:58:03 pm
Well, credit where it is due... That was a spectacular feat. You could sell tickets...
It's gonna take a lot of ______________(write in substance(s) of choice here) and maybe a few alligators to top that one...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 07:11:14 pm
It's gonna take a lot of ______________(write in substance(s) of choice here) and maybe a few alligators to top that one...

I wonder if he skinnyed out there butt nekkid or if he dropped his britches once out on the pole. That'd be one helluva peculiar talent...

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 14, 2020, 07:13:52 pm
I wonder if he skinnyed out there butt nekkid or if he dropped his britches once out on the pole. That'd be one helluva peculiar talent...
LOL! There are some things I just don't need to know...likely he's so skinny they just fell down...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 07:14:14 pm
I wonder if he skinnyed out there butt nekkid or if he dropped his britches once out on the pole. That'd be one helluva peculiar talent...

And, does the poop run up his back and drip off his head, like a Three-toed Sloth?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Victoria33 on January 14, 2020, 07:19:35 pm
Bkmk
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 07:24:39 pm
Bkmk

Sometimes you are a sick monkey, @Victoria33!  :happyhappy:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on January 14, 2020, 07:48:07 pm
Well, credit where it is due... That was a spectacular feat. You could sell tickets...
True story. I was in Toronto when the Jays won the series. One of the Stations went out after the game to do "Man on the Street" interviews. About 1/2 hour after the game they show a guy hanging from a light standard by his knees. Toronto police are among the most polite in the world. One of them is very politely asking the guy to come down. The guy very politely the cop no. After several more requests/ denials. The man says he is going to be sick. the cop takes three steps to the.  right and asked him to come down again. Damn funny on live television.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 07:52:29 pm
LOL! There are some things I just don't need to know...likely he's so skinny they just fell down...

I can't help it. I'm a hard wired process guy... There are efficiencies to be determined.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 07:54:14 pm
And, does the poop run up his back and drip off his head, like a Three-toed Sloth?

Well... There's a picture I didn't need in my head...
 :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 07:55:54 pm
Well... There's a picture I didn't need in my head...
 :silly:

It serves all you sick bastids right! :nono:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 07:56:32 pm
True story. I was in Toronto when the Jays won the series. One of the Stations went out after the game to do "Man on the Street" interviews. About 1/2 hour after the game they show a guy hanging from a light standard by his knees. Toronto police are among the most polite in the world. One of them is very politely asking the guy to come down. The guy very politely the cop no. After several more requests/ denials. The man says he is going to be sick. the cop takes three steps to the.  right and asked him to come down again. Damn funny on live television.

LOL! That English sense of propriety makes for the best dry humor.  happy77 :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 08:01:11 pm
It serves all you sick bastids right! :nono:

Well that position does resolve the aiming issue... With quite a bit of practice, I would suppose...

 :tongue2:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 08:02:24 pm
Well that position does resolve the aiming issue... With quite a bit of practice, I would suppose...

 :tongue2:

It's fortunate that stories like this lack critical details like that.  It lets us fill those in as needed!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 08:05:18 pm
It's fortunate that stories like this lack critical details like that.  It lets us fill those in as needed!

The mathematics and telemetry alone... Amazing. The guy must be a genius!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 14, 2020, 08:09:40 pm
The mathematics and telemetry alone... Amazing. The guy must be a genius!

Or he's crapping up his back.  One or the other.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 14, 2020, 08:10:59 pm
Or he's crapping up his back.  One or the other.

LOL! This thread made my whole day. :beer: :seeya:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on January 14, 2020, 09:13:36 pm
Without  investigating further, I will guess  this meth head is, based on his photo, about  21 or so.



It makes one wonder what he'll look like at 30....doesn't it? happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 15, 2020, 12:49:09 am
Without  investigating further, I will guess  this meth head is, based on his photo, about  21 or so.

No doubt. A woman my wife knows stopped by the other day. She isn't 50 yet and looks like she is over a 100. Rumor has it she has been breakiing bad for a long time.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 15, 2020, 03:26:56 am


It makes one wonder what he'll look like at 30....doesn't it? happy77

@berdie

 I don't think that is something that is likely to happen,as well as anything he is likely to worry about.

Of course,being a methhead,his body will be 100 years old due to wear and tear by the time he is 30,so I guess it all evens out.

Don't want to shock anyone,but speed freaks don't age well.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 15, 2020, 03:29:44 am
@berdie

 I don't think that is something that is likely to happen,as well as anything he is likely to worry about.

Of course,being a methhead,his body will be 100 years old due to wear and tear by the time he is 30,so I guess it all evens out.

Don't want to shock anyone,but speed freaks don't age well.
I have seen it. Daughters who look older than their mothers...and have fewer teeth.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 15, 2020, 03:31:45 am
I have seen it. Daughters who look older than their mothers...and have fewer teeth.

@Smokin Joe

 Well,it's hard to maintain health and weight when your whole body,including your brain,is humming like a tuning fork.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 15, 2020, 01:31:32 pm
Florida man accused of stealing golf balls, beating up elderly golfer

22-year-old Tyler Dearden was taking golf balls from a golfer's bucket at a club in Ocala, Florida.

News outlets say the golfer told him not to do that, and went to report him. An affidavit says that when he returned, Dearden came up to him and stated he wanted to apologize, but he punched him and knocked him to the ground. Dearden told deputies he was defending himself because the golfer threatened him by pointing a golf club at him.

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-golf-balls-beating-up-elderly-golfer (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-golf-balls-beating-up-elderly-golfer)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Victoria33 on January 15, 2020, 03:57:32 pm
Sometimes you are a sick monkey, @Victoria33!  :happyhappy:
@Cyber Liberty
@roamer_1
@sneakypete

Cyber, I was at a casino when I posted "bkmk" on this thread.  I was using my phone and wanted to come back to this thread later to tell you the time son was making a documentary film in Florida - due to what he did, he would qualify as "Florida Man" that day.

He was tied to the outside of a helicopter; helicopter flew low over an alligator filled swamp, son filmed the gators, but that is not all.

He was taken to an alligator "park", where people saw gators.  All people there told to be silent, make no noise.  Son approached large gator, had small film camera; gator opened his mouth, son put his head inside gator jaws and filmed his mouth.  Others there filmed son's head inside gator mouth.  Son is still alive with his own head, do not know condition of gator as this was years ago.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on January 15, 2020, 08:49:13 pm
@berdie

 I don't think that is something that is likely to happen,as well as anything he is likely to worry about.

Don't want to shock anyone,but speed freaks don't age well.



Of course you are right @sneakypete . :laugh: Sometimes I forget what world they live in. :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 15, 2020, 11:43:37 pm
Note to self: No morning sex if I plan on filming gators later.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 15, 2020, 11:45:24 pm
Note to self: No morning sex if I plan on filming gators later.

Yeah... It's a long, long run to where you are gonna find any gators. Better save your strength,  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 15, 2020, 11:45:54 pm
Ya'll know the difference between a pothead and a meth head. They will both steal your stuff. But a meth head will help you look for it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 15, 2020, 11:50:46 pm
Yeah... It's a long, long run to where you are gonna find any gators. Better save your strength,  :laugh:

They got jet airliners here.  Though I used the first person I hope people who plan on putting their head in a gator's mouth don't go to the show smelling like bait.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 16, 2020, 12:00:12 am
They got jet airliners here. 

They DO? Will wonders never cease?

Quote
Though I used the first person I hope people who plan on putting their head in a gator's mouth don't go to the show smelling like bait.

Not a good pastime for me. I smell like bacon frying any time it gets hot outside.  :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 16, 2020, 12:06:10 am
They DO? Will wonders never cease?

Not a good pastime for me. I smell like bacon frying any time it gets hot outside.  :shrug:

NOW I understand your insistence on pants.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 16, 2020, 12:15:41 am
NOW I understand your insistence on pants.  :laugh:

Hey. It ain't ME insisting on pants. That's everybody else.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 16, 2020, 12:20:11 am
Ya'll know the difference between a pothead and a meth head. They will both steal your stuff. But a meth head will help you look for it.

@bigheadfred

Some will even insist they help you look,and give you hell for moving too slowly.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 16, 2020, 12:22:41 am
Hey. It ain't ME insisting on pants. That's everybody else.

I was thinking the best way to smell like bacon frying is to do it nekked. Wear pants.

I don't know if any of those jet planes go to Florida. I've seen some take off. Always in the same direction. Southwest. So they must all be Southwest Airlines flights.  :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 16, 2020, 12:31:01 am
I was thinking the best way to smell like bacon frying is to do it nekked. Wear pants.

No, no, no! That's bass ackwards. The only time I DO insist on pants is when frying actual bacon, and when shoveling snow. The rest of the time, I need to be reminded. I am not up on all the fancy dress codes everybody has. Except the Mini-Mart.

No Shirt
No Shoes
No Service.

See? Nothing at all about pants, so I'm good. Not the same at the church for some reason  :shrug:

Quote
I don't know if any of those jet planes go to Florida. I've seen some take off. Always in the same direction. Southwest. So they must all be Southwest Airlines flights.  :shrug:

We got two. One to SLC, and one to Minneapolis. Been on both. Kicking and screaming. If God wanted me to fly I wouldn't have feet.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: PeteS in CA on January 16, 2020, 12:50:28 am
Florida man accused of stealing golf balls, beating up elderly golfer

22-year-old Tyler Dearden was taking golf balls from a golfer's bucket at a club in Ocala, Florida.

News outlets say the golfer told him not to do that, and went to report him. An affidavit says that when he returned, Dearden came up to him and stated he wanted to apologize, but he punched him and knocked him to the ground. Dearden told deputies he was defending himself because the golfer threatened him by pointing a golf club at him.

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-golf-balls-beating-up-elderly-golfer (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/florida-man-accused-of-stealing-golf-balls-beating-up-elderly-golfer)

Musta been one of those assault golf clubs, with a chainsaw bayonet attached!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 16, 2020, 01:04:57 am
Musta been one of those assault golf clubs, with a chainsaw bayonet attached!

Those shoot one 'round' at a time? I've heard of golf shots. But not golf shootings.

That chainsaw bayonet sounds handy. No more worries when you hit one into the trees.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 16, 2020, 01:10:27 am
Musta been one of those assault golf clubs, with a chainsaw bayonet attached!

You gotta think a guy is going to strenuously object if you try and grab his balls.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 16, 2020, 01:16:15 am
You gotta think a guy is going to strenuously object if you try and grab his balls.  :whistle:

Especially after some guy was sucking his toes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 16, 2020, 01:21:33 am
Especially after some guy was sucking his toes.

Yeah. That's altogether too personal...  **nononono*

I don't like that guy that stands 6" to close when talking...
How do you know where that is? It ain't in the manual...
But if a chick is standing too close, that's good.
Same line. Somehow you know.
Go figger.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 17, 2020, 01:22:14 pm
Florida woman or, at least, woman in Florida.
Quote
Woman caught on video doing bizarre strip tease in Miami airport
By Tamar Lapin
January 16, 2020 | 8:44pm

She volunteered for an airport strip search.

A woman could be seen on video slowly stripping naked while strolling through the baggage claim area at Miami International Airport.

The fully nude woman is then seen jumping on top of a cop car.

In the wild cellphone footage posted on Twitter, she belts out a song as she struts inside the airport.  ...
Full story and video (https://nypost.com/2020/01/16/woman-caught-on-video-doing-bizarre-strip-tease-in-miami-airport/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Victoria33 on January 17, 2020, 01:32:25 pm
@roamer_1

I don't know if you were a member at Free Republic.  My good friend, Johnny, name there was JRandomFreeper, had a pants problem and we members constantly ribbed him about that.

It was New Year's Eve and he went to a party at the house next door.  At the end of that party, he had no pants.  The next day, he found them, on the roof of that house.  He did not know how they got there.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 17, 2020, 01:48:34 pm
My husband says he gave up drinking hard liquor in college after an incident where he found himself trying to remove his pants over his head.  :thud:

I didn't know him then, and it's just as well.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 17, 2020, 02:16:47 pm
@roamer_1

I don't know if you were a member at Free Republic.  My good friend, Johnny, name there was JRandomFreeper, had a pants problem and we members constantly ribbed him about that.

It was New Year's Eve and he went to a party at the house next door.  At the end of that party, he had no pants.  The next day, he found them, on the roof of that house.  He did not know how they got there.

I miss Johnny.... 8888crybaby
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 17, 2020, 05:04:39 pm
@roamer_1

I don't know if you were a member at Free Republic.  My good friend, Johnny, name there was JRandomFreeper, had a pants problem and we members constantly ribbed him about that.

Yes @Victoria33 ... I remember JRandomFreeper... RIP, friend.

Quote
It was New Year's Eve and he went to a party at the house next door.  At the end of that party, he had no pants.  The next day, he found them, on the roof of that house.  He did not know how they got there.

Believe it or not, that happens more often than folks might assume...  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 20, 2020, 10:25:30 pm
Florida man with Coors can spilled in truck told troopers, 'I don't drink'

Juan Gomez Gaitan was driving a rental truck toward Miami on Sunday. Troopers who pulled over Gaitan said he smelled like beer, and when they asked for the rental agreement, that's when he replied, "I don't drink." Inside the truck, troopers also found prescription pills that did not belong to him.

https://www.abc-7.com/story/41586257/florida-man-with-coors-can-spilled-in-truck-told-troopers-i-dont-drink (https://www.abc-7.com/story/41586257/florida-man-with-coors-can-spilled-in-truck-told-troopers-i-dont-drink)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 20, 2020, 10:49:58 pm
Florida man with Coors can spilled in truck told troopers, 'I don't drink'

Juan Gomez Gaitan was driving a rental truck toward Miami on Sunday. Troopers who pulled over Gaitan said he smelled like beer, and when they asked for the rental agreement, that's when he replied, "I don't drink." Inside the truck, troopers also found prescription pills that did not belong to him.

https://www.abc-7.com/story/41586257/florida-man-with-coors-can-spilled-in-truck-told-troopers-i-dont-drink (https://www.abc-7.com/story/41586257/florida-man-with-coors-can-spilled-in-truck-told-troopers-i-dont-drink)

Did he say he takes pills?  Inquiring minds and all...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 21, 2020, 07:03:35 pm
Florida Man does not have gills, alas.
Quote
Florida man on the lam hides under water, busted when he comes up for air
 Natalie Musumeci
January 21, 2020 | 10:52am

This was a “not so great escape.”

A wanted Florida man tried to evade arrest by hiding under water in a pond — but was swiftly busted by police when he was forced to come up for air, cops said.

Daniel Christopher Booth, 36, of MacClenny, Fla., had warrants out for his arrest from Baker County for selling methamphetamine, police said. ...
Full story at NY Post (https://nypost.com/2020/01/21/florida-man-on-the-lam-hides-under-water-busted-when-he-comes-up-for-air/)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/daniel-booth-73.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Curses, foiled again!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 21, 2020, 08:35:58 pm
I don't know why the guy didn't snatch one of those hollow reeds that are so prevalent on tv and in the movies.  We all know that when people jump into water to escape capture, there's always hollow reeds at close hand enabling the escapee to breathe through to avoid detection.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 21, 2020, 11:35:06 pm
I don't know why the guy didn't snatch one of those hollow reeds that are so prevalent on tv and in the movies.  We all know that when people jump into water to escape capture, there's always hollow reeds at close hand enabling the escapee to breathe through to avoid detection.
Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those things?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 22, 2020, 12:05:08 am
Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those things?
Yes, my last escape from the Big House me and another con had to share one for a few hours.
It took five or six escapes, captures, and escapes before we learned the right breathing techniques.
Right now, I'm still under water as I'm typing this response. Hopefully, the bloodhounds will go away after a few more hours.  22222frying pan
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 22, 2020, 12:07:49 am
Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those things?

Especially with your buddy trying to pee in it, unbeknownst... But to be fair, we were probably about eight at the time...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 22, 2020, 12:08:59 am
Especially with your buddy trying to pee in it, unbeknownst... But to be fair, we were probably about eight at the time...
All the reeds where I grew up were plugged, like the cross baffles in bamboo.  :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 22, 2020, 12:19:59 am
All the reeds where I grew up were plugged, like the cross baffles in bamboo.  :shrug:

Well no wonder you couldn't breath through em. If you get up this way, I will show you how with a cattail shoot. Just how to make it I mean... I haven't done it for real with anybody present since I was eight.

 888mouth
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 22, 2020, 12:39:48 am
Well no wonder you couldn't breath through em. If you get up this way, I will show you how with a cattail shoot. Just how to make it I mean... I haven't done it for real with anybody present since I was eight.

 888mouth
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 22, 2020, 12:42:31 am
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.

 *bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 22, 2020, 12:42:48 am
We didn't have cattails where I grew up, I reckon that's why it didn't work.

Also explains why it took so long for you to escape.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 22, 2020, 12:45:06 am
*bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!

@roamer_1   Doesn't really have to be a cattail. AFAIN,pretty much any reed will work,and so will bamboo.

However,regardless of what it is you want to try,it is a MUST to blow air through it before going underwater and trying to suck air through it. You don't want to grab one that was broken at the top,and full of spiders,for example.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 22, 2020, 12:48:35 am
@roamer_1   Doesn't really have to be a cattail. AFAIN,pretty much any reed will work,and so will bamboo.

However,regardless of what it is you want to try,it is a MUST to blow air through it before going underwater and trying to suck air through it. You don't want to grab one that was broken at the top,and full of spiders,for example.

Also has to be the right length. If it is too long you are breathing in the same air you breathe out.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 22, 2020, 02:39:33 am
*bouche*

I never heard of such a thing!
We had brackish tidewater swamps and marshes, but no cattails.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 22, 2020, 02:40:19 am
Also explains why it took so long for you to escape.
Got bogged down in the swamp mud....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 29, 2020, 01:27:25 pm
Florida man arrested for stealing drills, batteries to pay for his ankle monitor

John Wayne Parker Jr., 32, was arrested in December on an aggravated assault charge in Palatka, Florida. He was sentenced to wear an ankle monitor so that authorities could keep track of his movements. Then Parker, unable to keep up with the monitor's monthly fees, turned to petty crime.

The pattern of thefts began on January 20. Parker allegedly first burglarized a local store for $3,000 worth of cigarettes to sell by smashing the front window of a local Hitchcock's Market. Then drills, batteries and other sundry items disappeared from the back of a work truck at a local business.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302)

This almost qualifies for Ridiculous News of the Day.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 29, 2020, 01:30:10 pm
Florida Man Update: Easter Bunny brawler arrested again

Antoine McDonald, 21, drove his motorcycle through a stop sign and crashed into a carport, which collapsed and damaged a car before he fled the scene on Jan. 16, the Florida Highway Patrol said. They discovered McDonald, wearing the bunny costume, in the backseat, the report said. Deputies told McDonald to remove the costume before arresting him, but the 21-year-old maintained his innocence.

“I wasn’t in any crash. I’m the Orlando Easter bunny, Google it,” McDonald told deputies, according to the report.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrest-easter-bunny-viral (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrest-easter-bunny-viral)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 29, 2020, 02:12:21 pm
Florida man arrested for stealing drills, batteries to pay for his ankle monitor

John Wayne Parker Jr., 32, was arrested in December on an aggravated assault charge in Palatka, Florida. He was sentenced to wear an ankle monitor so that authorities could keep track of his movements. Then Parker, unable to keep up with the monitor's monthly fees, turned to petty crime.

The pattern of thefts began on January 20. Parker allegedly first burglarized a local store for $3,000 worth of cigarettes to sell by smashing the front window of a local Hitchcock's Market. Then drills, batteries and other sundry items disappeared from the back of a work truck at a local business.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-stealing-drills-batteries-pay-his-ankle-monitor-fee-1484302)

This almost qualifies for Ridiculous News of the Day.

@jmyrlefuller

Quote
According to the organization Equal Justice Under the Law, ankle monitors cost between $175 and $200 to set up. Daily fees can run anywhere between $5 to $20.

In this retards defense,that is a HELL of a lot of money for mouth-breathers like him to come up with. Chances are he doesn't even clear 20 bucks a day after living expenses when he works,which isn't often because he most likely doesn't have any skills beyond labor.

Putting a ankle bracklet on him and then charging him for wearing it is almost asking him to commit crimes to come up with the money. It's akin to shooting over a baited field.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 29, 2020, 03:09:27 pm
@jmyrlefuller

In this retards defense,that is a HELL of a lot of money for mouth-breathers like him to come up with. Chances are he doesn't even clear 20 bucks a day after living expenses when he works,which isn't often because he most likely doesn't have any skills beyond labor.

Putting a ankle bracklet on him and then charging him for wearing it is almost asking him to commit crimes to come up with the money. It's akin to shooting over a baited field.

Ankle bracelets are like traffic school for getting a ticket:  It's a racket.  There is no way it costs $5-20 to monitor a prisoner for a day.  It's automated.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 29, 2020, 04:38:44 pm
Ankle bracelets are like traffic school for getting a ticket:  It's a racket.  There is no way it costs $5-20 to monitor a prisoner for a day.  It's automated.

@Cyber Liberty

Exactly! Chances are the ankle bracelets were invented by someone with political connections that got them adopted by the court system,and it's been nothing but gravy money for them ever since. They probably only have 3 people in a room over a 24 hour period waiting for a light to flash or a buzzer to go off so they can call the cops. They probably don't get paid much more than 10 bucks an hour for a 8 hour shift. That makes for a lot of "gravy" for the judges/court system,as well as the relatives of the pols and judges that approved the system.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 29, 2020, 04:45:59 pm
@Cyber Liberty

Exactly! Chances are the ankle bracelets were invented by someone with political connections that got them adopted by the court system,and it's been nothing but gravy money for them ever since. They probably only have 3 people in a room over a 24 hour period waiting for a light to flash or a buzzer to go off so they can call the cops. They probably don't get paid much more than 10 bucks an hour for a 8 hour shift. That makes for a lot of "gravy" for the judges/court system,as well as the relatives of the pols and judges that approved the system.

It's the same business model for red-light cameras.  A private company provides the cameras to cities for free, and get a kickback for the revenue they generate for the cities.  It's a racket.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 30, 2020, 12:03:18 am
It's the same business model for red-light cameras.  A private company provides the cameras to cities for free, and get a kickback for the revenue they generate for the cities.  It's a racket.

Tennis, anyone?

I knew of a guy who did a nickel for burglary. Paroled out. They told him they were placing him on the lowest level of supervision. They actually had him on double secret. Filmed him breaking into a place and coming back out with a sackful of fun. He was out for 10 days. Right back in for another nickel.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 30, 2020, 12:47:33 am
Tennis, anyone?

I knew of a guy who did a nickel for burglary. Paroled out. They told him they were placing him on the lowest level of supervision. They actually had him on double secret. Filmed him breaking into a place and coming back out with a sackful of fun. He was out for 10 days. Right back in for another nickel.

@bigheadfred

Some people are such slow learners they probably need to be locked up for their own good.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on January 30, 2020, 12:06:39 pm
@bigheadfred

Some people are such slow learners they probably need to be locked up for their own good.
Hey, I thought you weren't going to say mean things about me on the forum anymore.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 30, 2020, 12:13:06 pm
Hey, I thought you weren't going to say mean things about me on the forum anymore.

@verga

Please accept my apologies. I didn't know you were watching.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on January 30, 2020, 12:17:56 pm
@verga

Please accept my apologies. I didn't know you were watching.

That'll teach you to keep the door to your basement closed.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on February 14, 2020, 07:25:16 pm
Florida Man Can't Bring Life-Size Cutout Of Trump To Dialysis Treatment (https://wsyr.iheart.com/content/2020-02-14-florida-man-cant-bring-life-size-cutout-of-trump-to-dialysis-treatment/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 16, 2020, 06:52:34 pm
Florida man's downward spiral leads to halfhearted bank robbery as a 'cry for help'

A 74-year-old Florida man whose halfhearted attempt at bank robbery was caused by depression after his wife's death will not spend any time in jail, it was announced Friday. Hawkins, unarmed, walked into a Wells Fargo branch in Boca Raton on Nov. 18 and demanded $1,100 from the teller. When she counted out $2,000, he told her it was too much and had her count out the right amount. He says he doesn't know why he asked for that amount.

He then left the bank and the moneybag got caught in some bushes, so he left it. It was never recovered.

“It was my way of, basically, a cry for help," Hawkins said.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/elderly-halfhearted-florida-bank-robber-jailed-68989299
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on February 16, 2020, 06:55:50 pm
How very sad!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on February 16, 2020, 07:18:44 pm
The Adventures of Florida Snakes (subcategory):
Quote
Mating snakes prompt closure of part of Florida park
Associated Press | Saturday, February 15, 2020 2:21 p.m.

LAKELAND, Fla. — A Florida city shut down a section of a lake Thursday after receiving reports of swarming snakes. Turns out, the slithery creatures were just celebrating Valentine’s Day a little early.

The Lakeland Parks & Recreation department wrote on its Facebook page that a group of non-venomous water snakes congregated to mate near a traffic roundabout. ...
Full story (https://triblive.com/news/world/mating-snakes-prompt-closure-of-part-of-florida-park/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 19, 2020, 01:24:21 am
Florida man arrested for ranting, raving and roaming around in a trailer park with his pants off

The perpetrator, a 30-year-old man from Jensen Beach, was not named in the news report. Yes, alcohol was involved.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2020/02/18/man-no-pants-rants-jensen-beach/4726482002/ (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2020/02/18/man-no-pants-rants-jensen-beach/4726482002/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on February 19, 2020, 01:58:48 am
Do they EVER!!! have their pants on when go ranting and raving?    22222frying pan
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 20, 2020, 03:17:31 am
Florida men botch a pharmacy robbery by leaving a trail of pill bottles to their hideout

The three men who held up a CVS Pharmacy on New Year’s Day (...) made off with a boatload of drugs in white garbage bags — more than 10,000 pills that contained the opioids hydrocodone and oxycodone, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. It had an estimated street value of about $320,000.

But as detectives investigated the area around the store, located at 30387 U.S. 19 N, they started noticing pill bottles, according to an arrest warrant. The robbers, it appeared, had emptied the bottles as they made their getaway, then tossed them out the window of their car.

Detectives started following the pill bottles like bread crumbs, eventually leading to a house at 1045 West Ave. There, they found the same White Chrysler 200 that had been recorded on surveillance camera fleeing the scene. White cotton and a pill bottle cap lay on the ground nearby.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/19/they-held-up-a-clearwater-cvs-then-a-trail-of-pill-bottles-led-police-to-their-door/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/19/they-held-up-a-clearwater-cvs-then-a-trail-of-pill-bottles-led-police-to-their-door/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 20, 2020, 04:52:19 am
Florida men botch a pharmacy robbery by leaving a trail of pill bottles to their hideout

The three men who held up a CVS Pharmacy on New Year’s Day (...) made off with a boatload of drugs in white garbage bags — more than 10,000 pills that contained the opioids hydrocodone and oxycodone, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. It had an estimated street value of about $320,000.

But as detectives investigated the area around the store, located at 30387 U.S. 19 N, they started noticing pill bottles, according to an arrest warrant. The robbers, it appeared, had emptied the bottles as they made their getaway, then tossed them out the window of their car.

Detectives started following the pill bottles like bread crumbs, eventually leading to a house at 1045 West Ave. There, they found the same White Chrysler 200 that had been recorded on surveillance camera fleeing the scene. White cotton and a pill bottle cap lay on the ground nearby.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/19/they-held-up-a-clearwater-cvs-then-a-trail-of-pill-bottles-led-police-to-their-door/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2020/02/19/they-held-up-a-clearwater-cvs-then-a-trail-of-pill-bottles-led-police-to-their-door/)

@jmyrlefuller

Some people just need to be in prison to protect them from themselves.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on February 21, 2020, 01:17:11 am
Florida man gets naked to escape DeLand store; ribeyes fall out of his pants

That'll Leave A Mark--A Short Story
 (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiyzJKMu-HnAhUlL30KHY6FCNwQFjAGegQIAhAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.news-journalonline.com%2Fnews%2F20200217%2Fflorida-man-gets-naked-to-escape-deland-store-ribeyes-fall-out-of-his-pants&usg=AOvVaw0GqBr67F93VIQMOj-3y1U8)
By Patricio G. Balona
Posted Feb 17, 2020 at 2:56 PM Updated Feb 17, 2020 at 3:27 PM

Witnesses reported to police that in an attempt to get away, the suspect wriggled out of his clothes and got naked as meat packs began to fall out of his pants.

A shoplifter trying to get away from a DeLand store stripped naked and steaks tumbled out of his pants, police said.

Police found a Stefan Short, 28, of DeLand, running out of the store in the buff, and when he refused to stop officers shot him with a Taser, a report states.
 
~snip~

Short was taken to the hospital after it was discovered that a Taser prong struck him in the genitals, a report states.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 21, 2020, 01:37:31 am
Florida man gets naked to escape DeLand store; ribeyes fall out of his pants

That'll Leave A Mark--A Short Story
 (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiyzJKMu-HnAhUlL30KHY6FCNwQFjAGegQIAhAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.news-journalonline.com%2Fnews%2F20200217%2Fflorida-man-gets-naked-to-escape-deland-store-ribeyes-fall-out-of-his-pants&usg=AOvVaw0GqBr67F93VIQMOj-3y1U8)
By Patricio G. Balona
Posted Feb 17, 2020 at 2:56 PM Updated Feb 17, 2020 at 3:27 PM

Witnesses reported to police that in an attempt to get away, the suspect wriggled out of his clothes and got naked as meat packs began to fall out of his pants.

A shoplifter trying to get away from a DeLand store stripped naked and steaks tumbled out of his pants, police said.

Police found a Stefan Short, 28, of DeLand, running out of the store in the buff, and when he refused to stop officers shot him with a Taser, a report states.
 
~snip~

Short was taken to the hospital after it was discovered that a Taser prong struck him in the genitals, a report states.

Hmmmm. Souds like something got 'shorted', all right...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 21, 2020, 01:47:58 am
Florida man gets naked to escape DeLand store; ribeyes fall out of his pants

That'll Leave A Mark--A Short Story
 (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiyzJKMu-HnAhUlL30KHY6FCNwQFjAGegQIAhAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.news-journalonline.com%2Fnews%2F20200217%2Fflorida-man-gets-naked-to-escape-deland-store-ribeyes-fall-out-of-his-pants&usg=AOvVaw0GqBr67F93VIQMOj-3y1U8)
By Patricio G. Balona
Posted Feb 17, 2020 at 2:56 PM Updated Feb 17, 2020 at 3:27 PM

~snip~

Short was taken to the hospital after it was discovered that a Taser prong struck him in the genitals, a report states.

@bigheadfred

That does it! Now his girlfried is going to have to taze  him in the nuggets every Friday night to get him excited.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 21, 2020, 01:54:39 am
@bigheadfred

That does it! Now his girlfried is going to have to taze  him in the nuggets every Friday night to get him excited.
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fk2prKnYnI#)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on February 21, 2020, 02:05:52 am
@bigheadfred

That does it! Now his girlfried is going to have to taze  him in the nuggets every Friday night to get him excited.

Not to be the grammar police but girlfried made me lol and think of Manfried Mann...

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpq35wyDi7I#)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 21, 2020, 02:13:10 am
Not to be the grammar police but girlfried made me lol and think of Manfried Mann...

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpq35wyDi7I#)

@bigheadfred

LOL! I didn't even spot that typo,much less do it on purpose. Now I wish I had so I could take credit for it,because you just KNOW that if Bubba does have a girlfriend,she is surely "fried".
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 26, 2020, 12:16:00 pm
Florida man walks into Denny's at 3 am, repeatedly offers to show his nether-regions to customers

They said no, and he was arrested. Later that day, he was arrested again stealing donuts from a convenience store, then tried to bribe the cop with said stolen donuts. It was part of a string of bizarre behavior for 24-year-old Allan Ibanez of Clearwater.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/lewd-offering-ihop-menu-042356 (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/lewd-offering-ihop-menu-042356)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 26, 2020, 02:38:42 pm
Florida man walks into Denny's at 3 am, repeatedly offers to show his nether-regions to customers

They said no, and he was arrested. Later that day, he was arrested again stealing donuts from a convenience store, then tried to bribe the cop with said stolen donuts. It was part of a string of bizarre behavior for 24-year-old Allan Ibanez of Clearwater.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/lewd-offering-ihop-menu-042356 (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/lewd-offering-ihop-menu-042356)

@jmyrlefuller

What kind of unfair world are we living in,where you can't bribe a cop with donuts?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 27, 2020, 01:46:18 am
The Adventures of Florida Woman
(https://i.imgur.com/rG3w6CV.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/nfVL53s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 27, 2020, 01:48:38 am
The Adventures of Florida Woman
(https://i.imgur.com/rG3w6CV.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/nfVL53s.jpg)

@240B

He was either VERY tiny,or that was one really big suitcase.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on February 27, 2020, 02:04:41 am
Not sure I'd be letting this one zip me up in a sleeping bag, let alone a suitcase.

(https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/FCd16zfqz1vEhTiIu2CiVo_rDEw=/415x553/top/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tronc.s3.amazonaws.com/public/NYTFKA4YPVHORG2RMTOHEOG7KU.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 27, 2020, 03:46:37 pm
Yikes.

I've tried to keep the stuff that involves murder or serious crimes out of this thread, but this is Goodbye Earl level stuff right there.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on February 27, 2020, 04:03:19 pm
Not sure I'd be letting this one zip me up in a sleeping bag, let alone a suitcase.

(https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/FCd16zfqz1vEhTiIu2CiVo_rDEw=/415x553/top/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tronc.s3.amazonaws.com/public/NYTFKA4YPVHORG2RMTOHEOG7KU.jpg)

Maybe the best media representation of this demographic, was the Breaking Bad episode when the Meth Head couple hijacks an ATM.

(https://cdn3.whatculture.com/images/2014/10/10-Breaking-Bad-rs.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 27, 2020, 07:15:41 pm
Maybe the best media representation of this demographic, was the Breaking Bad episode when the Meth Head couple hijacks an ATM.

(https://cdn3.whatculture.com/images/2014/10/10-Breaking-Bad-rs.jpg)

@catfish1957

Breaking Bad is without question one of the most creative and best tv programs ever broadcast. IIRC,at least one year it aired it had more viewers than the Super Bowl,and that was every week.

Shameless was another I couldn't wait to watch. It is on it's final season now,and I am glad it is ending. Frank has already done so much there is nothing left for him to do to shock you into laughter,and now it is just mostly disgusting now that Debbie has taken over as the Chief Sociopath. The only reason I even watch this season is to see how the rest of them end up.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Sighlass on February 28, 2020, 12:36:09 pm
Hospital worker charged with sucking toes of patient

https://newschannel9.com/news/offbeat/hospital-worker-charged-with-sucking-toes-of-patient
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on February 28, 2020, 06:08:31 pm
Hospital worker charged with sucking toes of patient

https://newschannel9.com/news/offbeat/hospital-worker-charged-with-sucking-toes-of-patient
Bob Beckel works in a hospital now?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Bigun on February 28, 2020, 06:11:40 pm
Bob Beckel works in a hospital now?

Maybe it's Dick Morris.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on February 28, 2020, 06:22:52 pm
A Florida woman story...
Marijuana in bra leads to bigger bust
https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/ (https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 28, 2020, 06:30:00 pm
A Florida woman story...
Marijuana in bra leads to bigger bust
https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/ (https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/)
har har har
The real story is the comedian funny guy who wrote the headline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on February 28, 2020, 06:32:10 pm
har har har
The real story is the comedian funny guy who wrote the headline.

Gonna miss those headlines when pot gets legal everywhere....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on February 28, 2020, 06:44:53 pm
A Florida woman story...
Marijuana in bra leads to bigger bust
https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/ (https://www.mypanhandle.com/news/jcso-marijuana-in-bra-leads-to-bigger-bust/)
There are so many stories in the news and on tv, Live Pd etc. where the cops stop a car for a minor violation (tail light out, etc.) I'm beginning to suspect every time I see a car, usually older model, with a tail light out, multiple dents, dirty, etc. that they are druggies. Also drivers who commit traffic violations (speeding, not using turn signals, inattentive driving, etc.) Obviously, a driver, ceteris paribus,  affected by drugs or alcohol is more likely to commit a traffic offense.
So, are druggies more likely to take poorer care of their vehicles and be poorer drivers in general than non-druggies?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 28, 2020, 06:50:06 pm

So, are druggies more likely to take poorer care of their vehicles and be poorer drivers in general than non-druggies?

@goatprairie

Well,heavy drug users have "more important" things to spend their money on than flashy cars,and generally speaking,they are high when driving.

Ain't no mystery involved in this.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on February 28, 2020, 06:55:25 pm
@goatprairie

Well,heavy drug users have "more important" things to spend their money on than flashy cars,and generally speaking,they are high when driving.

Ain't no mystery involved in this.
Yes, but you might think if they've got the dough to spend/waste on drugs, they'd be a little more cautious about taking care of their vehicle and not driving like an idiot so as not to attract the fuzz. From watching a lot of LivePd (the wife's favorite program) that would be a wrong assumption.
Apparently, many druggies think they can drive like maniacs, leave their car in a poor state, and nobody important i.e. the police will notice.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 28, 2020, 07:02:02 pm
Never will understand why in the world someone with 10lbs of cocaine in his car would speed. Are you insane? Are you stupid?
Oddly enough, going too slow is just as dangerous as speeding, because it is abnormal driving and will attract attention.
Just put the cruise control on the speed limit and relax. That should be all there is to it. But it never is with a lot of those guys.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 28, 2020, 07:03:50 pm
Yes, but you might think if they've got the dough to spend/waste on drugs, they'd be a little more cautious about taking care of their vehicle and not driving like an idiot so as not to attract the fuzz. From watching a lot of LivePd (the wife's favorite program) that would be a wrong assumption.
Apparently, many druggies think they can drive like maniacs, leave their car in a poor state, and nobody important i.e. the police will notice.

@goatprairie

You are missing the point. ALL these people think about 24/7 is getting high. Even sex comes in second place. They are literally slaves to their addictions just like gamblers or alcoholics. NOTHING matters but the next high.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on February 28, 2020, 07:19:22 pm
@goatprairie

You are missing the point. ALL these people think about 24/7 is getting high. Even sex comes in second place. They are literally slaves to their addictions just like gamblers or alcoholics. NOTHING matters but the next high.
"that would be a wrong assumption."
Read my previous posting.  You are correct, and I've admitted that would be an error to think they would not screw up. Druggies by nature don't think logically, or they wouldn't be druggies. At least the ones who constantly get caught.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 28, 2020, 07:30:38 pm
Yes, but you might think if they've got the dough to spend/waste on drugs, they'd be a little more cautious about taking care of their vehicle and not driving like an idiot so as not to attract the fuzz. From watching a lot of LivePd (the wife's favorite program) that would be a wrong assumption.
Apparently, many druggies think they can drive like maniacs, leave their car in a poor state, and nobody important i.e. the police will notice.
You have to remember that with anyone who is addicted or displaying such behaviour, the first and last love is the substance or substances in question. As such, all else becomes a mere means to an end. With heavy drinkers, as a rule, vehicles are in rough shape as well. They become oblivious to anything from the odor of pot in the vehicle to the accumulation of empty cans and bottles. The vehicle, so long as it moves, tends to be neglected, with minor maintenance relegated to stuff that 'will be gotten around to, someday'. In the meantime, what money is available goes to their first love.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 28, 2020, 07:36:43 pm
Psychologists say that many criminals have no sense of the future. Their brains have some defect to where they can only think in the present tense. Now, is all they know. Like an animal. It is not that they ignore the consequences of their actions, because consequences simply never occurs to them.

When you think of famous criminals like Bonnie and Clyde, or Dillinger, or even bank robbers today, standing toe to toe with the Police firing automatic weapons. It would be normal to think about how brave those criminals must have been. In reality they weren't brave at all. They simply could not comprehend mentally that they could die. With many criminals it is not about 'bravery' as we think of it; it is more about a mental defect which governs their behavior.

This inability to process future events or consequences helps give them strength during the crime. However that same characteristic is usually what gets them caught.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on February 28, 2020, 07:38:09 pm
You have to remember that with anyone who is addicted or displaying such behaviour, the first and last love is the substance or substances in question. As such, all else becomes a mere means to an end. With heavy drinkers, as a rule, vehicles are in rough shape as well. They become oblivious to anything from the odor of pot in the vehicle to the accumulation of empty cans and bottles. The vehicle, so long as it moves, tends to be neglected, with minor maintenance relegated to stuff that 'will be gotten around to, someday'. In the meantime, what money is available goes to their first love.
So you're agreeing with me that the sight of a shoddy-looking car possibly speeding or doing some other traffic violation would support the assumption the driver is likely to be a druggie?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on February 28, 2020, 08:12:05 pm
Never will understand why in the world someone with 10lbs of cocaine in his car would speed. Are you insane? Are you stupid?
Oddly enough, going too slow is just as dangerous as speeding, because it is abnormal driving and will attract attention.
Just put the cruise control on the speed limit and relax. That should be all there is to it. But it never is with a lot of those guys.

"Act natural."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 28, 2020, 08:19:25 pm
So you're agreeing with me that the sight of a shoddy-looking car possibly speeding or doing some other traffic violation would support the assumption the driver is likely to be a druggie?
While many 'druggie cars' will exhibit those characteristics, those characteristics don't necessarily mean the person is a druggie (marijuana odor excepted). There is a possibility they can't afford, do not have the know-how to DIY, or otherwise are unable to do much to fix the vehicle. Not everyone living out of their cars is a junkie.

With that disclaimer in mind, the likelihood that the person behind the wheel or owner has a substance abuse problem is higher than with a nice new shiny vehicle, or even a well kept older one. Addicts are primarily concerned with their addiction, to the detriment of all (and I mean ALL) else.

Police routinely pull over drivers who are driving at night with their headlights off (easy to do in a well lit town). I was informed that one driver in four doing that will be DUI. They go where the odds of a bust are best.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on February 28, 2020, 08:36:36 pm
So you're agreeing with me that the sight of a shoddy-looking car possibly speeding or doing some other traffic violation would support the assumption the driver is likely to be a druggie?

Nah... My truck is 40 years old, if I had to tell you a color, it'd be calico, which suggests three colors, which is more or less true at this time, but somewhat subject to change.The locks don't work, and don't need to. The key ain't worked right in 30 years  you have to turn it on and push a button.

And I drive it like a rented mule - Not likely to pay a lot of mind to speed limits, other than in town, and around schools especially....

All the criteria you present - And I am mostly sober as a judge... I mean, I ain't been lit in decades, though I will have a beer or two upon occasion.

A typical hillbilly truck for a typical hillbilly. Not too concerned about appearances... In fact, I avoid the appearance of wealth with studious purpose. It ain't that all that pretty crap don't matter to me, in fact, it offends me. I LIKE that all y'all would call it a piece of crap.

But in the mean time, where it counts under the hood, that truck is pretty likely to pull yours in half. Mechanically, it is all about performance, and in pristine condition.

So careful judging books by their covers and all...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on February 28, 2020, 08:46:11 pm
Nah... My truck is 40 years old, if I had to tell you a color, it'd be calico, which suggests three colors, which is more or less true at this time, but somewhat subject to change.The locks don't work, and don't need to. The key ain't worked right in 30 years  you have to turn it on and push a button.

And I drive it like a rented mule - Not likely to pay a lot of mind to speed limits, other than in town, and around schools especially....

All the criteria you present - And I am mostly sober as a judge... I mean, I ain't been lit in decades, though I will have a beer or two upon occasion.

A typical hillbilly truck for a typical hillbilly. Not too concerned about appearances... In fact, I avoid the appearance of wealth with studious purpose. It ain't that all that pretty crap don't matter to me, in fact, it offends me. I LIKE that all y'all would call it a piece of crap.

But in the mean time, where it counts under the hood, that truck is pretty likely to pull yours in half. Mechanically, it is all about performance, and in pristine condition.

So careful judging books by their covers and all...
https://youtu.be/9I51JXpcLwk
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 28, 2020, 08:59:07 pm
Nah... My truck is 40 years old, if I had to tell you a color, it'd be calico, which suggests three colors, which is more or less true at this time, but somewhat subject to change.The locks don't work, and don't need to. The key ain't worked right in 30 years  you have to turn it on and push a button.

And I drive it like a rented mule - Not likely to pay a lot of mind to speed limits, other than in town, and around schools especially....

All the criteria you present - And I am mostly sober as a judge... I mean, I ain't been lit in decades, though I will have a beer or two upon occasion.

A typical hillbilly truck for a typical hillbilly. Not too concerned about appearances... In fact, I avoid the appearance of wealth with studious purpose. It ain't that all that pretty crap don't matter to me, in fact, it offends me. I LIKE that all y'all would call it a piece of crap.

But in the mean time, where it counts under the hood, that truck is pretty likely to pull yours in half. Mechanically, it is all about performance, and in pristine condition.

So careful judging books by their covers and all...
My bad. I was ignoring Farm/ranch/work trucks, which often get a few dings and may have a light out or some such, just from hard use. As a rule, even on cars that look like demolition derby refugees, I make sure the mechanicals work and the lights all function, preferably with the appropriate lenses in place (or some suitable substitution).
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 28, 2020, 09:44:40 pm
"Act natural."
But don't overdo it. I met a guy that went to prison for smuggling meth across the border. He got pulled over in Arizona. He got pulled over for speeding and did the whole 'act natural' song and dance for the Cop. Then he told me something I've never forgotten.

He said everything was going great. The Cop told him what to do and the approximate costs, and he laughed. He laughed. He said that's what busted him. Everything was fine until he laughed. The Cop changed immediately. Nobody laughs. Nobody thinks getting a ticket is 'funny'. And he wound up in prison.

He was trying so hard to act natural and nonchalant that he went too far. And it got the Officer's attention. He should have been at least a little pissed about it. He should have lied about how fast he was going. That's all hindsight now.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on February 28, 2020, 09:59:28 pm
https://youtu.be/9I51JXpcLwk

QFT   :beer: happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on February 28, 2020, 10:21:48 pm
My bad. I was ignoring Farm/ranch/work trucks, which often get a few dings and may have a light out or some such, just from hard use. As a rule, even on cars that look like demolition derby refugees, I make sure the mechanicals work and the lights all function, preferably with the appropriate lenses in place (or some suitable substitution).

It's all good Joe... But that ain't no farm truck. It's a mountain truck, built around a 203/205 doubler transfer case... Pretty honest 450/500 horses running that... Trying to get a 5 spd w/overdrive weaseled in there, which will make it a dream on the highway... Other than the lift and the 35x13.50 swampers you'd never know what you're in for...  Think rat-rod, but 4wd :whistle:

Pretty typical mountain sh*tbox...  happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on February 28, 2020, 11:51:30 pm
It's all good Joe... But that ain't no farm truck. It's a mountain truck, built around a 203/205 doubler transfer case... Pretty honest 450/500 horses running that... Trying to get a 5 spd w/overdrive weaseled in there, which will make it a dream on the highway... Other than the lift and the 35x13.50 swampers you'd never know what you're in for...  Think rat-rod, but 4wd :whistle:

Pretty typical mountain sh*tbox...  happy77
:beer:

Don't really need rock climbing pickups here in the 'flats'. Just enough to bust drifts and get out of the mud.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on March 01, 2020, 01:10:58 pm
OMG!!!!

A new thread is needed for the Adventures of a NY Woman.

Yesterday AOC got in a Tweet dust up  with Ted Cruz concerning Pence's qualification to handle the Cornovirus task force.

The woman actually cited being runner up at a Science Fair to demonstarte her scientific accumen cred. 

This is the funniest damned thing I have seen in months.  Responses to her Tweet are golden.

The intelligence of Ted Cruz vs. AOC.    Talk about extremes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on March 02, 2020, 12:35:09 pm
...In fact, I avoid the appearance of wealth with studious purpose. It ain't that all that pretty crap don't matter to me, in fact, it offends me. I LIKE that all y'all would call it a piece of crap....

 :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 02, 2020, 01:04:41 pm

The woman actually cited being runner up at a Science Fair to demonstarte her scientific accumen cred. 
A high school science fair, at that. I wonder if she made a model volcano.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on March 02, 2020, 02:22:56 pm
A high school science fair, at that. I wonder if she made a model volcano.

@mountaineer

Most likely with a boyfriend or 17.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on March 11, 2020, 11:29:24 pm
Florida man stands naked in his driveway, throws rocks at passing cars

Brevard County Deputies were called to a Port St. John neighborhood Tuesday and found Duy Khanh, 34, standing nude in the driveway of his home (...) throwing rocks and hitting cars. Khanh is being charged with the exposure of sexual organs, jail records show.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/11/florida-man-stands-naked-in-his-driveway-throws-rocks-at-passing-cars-deputies-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/11/florida-man-stands-naked-in-his-driveway-throws-rocks-at-passing-cars-deputies-say/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on March 11, 2020, 11:39:15 pm
Florida man stands naked in his driveway, throws rocks at passing cars

Brevard County Deputies were called to a Port St. John neighborhood Tuesday and found Duy Khanh, 34, standing nude in the driveway of his home (...) throwing rocks and hitting cars. Khanh is being charged with the exposure of sexual organs, jail records show.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/11/florida-man-stands-naked-in-his-driveway-throws-rocks-at-passing-cars-deputies-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/11/florida-man-stands-naked-in-his-driveway-throws-rocks-at-passing-cars-deputies-say/)

How pedestrian.   :laugh: :police:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on March 12, 2020, 08:06:43 pm
How pedestrian.   :laugh: :police:

True.
He'll have to up his game to make a dent in the Florida craziness.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on March 12, 2020, 10:35:00 pm
True.
He'll have to up his game to make a dent in the Florida craziness.
That's what I was thinking. Pretty tame considering past Florida man acts. Maybe if he was sticking his head down a gator's mouth while throwing the rocks, it would rate a higher number. I give it a five on a scoring system of one to ten.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on March 24, 2020, 01:53:39 am
Florida man with coronavirus says hydroxychloroquine saved his life

Giardinieri said he contacted an infectious disease doctor about the drug.

“He gave me all the reasons why I would probably not want to try it because there are no trials, there’s no testing, it was not something that was approved,” said Giardinieri.

“And I said, ‘Look, I don’t know if I’m going to make it until the morning,’ because at that point I really thought I was coming to the end because I couldn’t breathe anymore,” Giardinieri continued.

“He agreed and authorized the use of it and 30 minutes later the nurse gave it to me.”

After about an hour on an IV with the medicine, Giardinieri said, it felt like his heart was beating out of his chest and, about two hours later, he had another episode where he couldn’t breathe.

He says he was given Benadryl and some other drugs and that when he woke up around 4:45 a.m., it was “like nothing ever happened.”

https://nypost.com/2020/03/22/florida-man-with-coronavirus-says-drug-touted-by-trump-saved-his-life/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on April 02, 2020, 01:36:04 am
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3df3604b031b7fe1e5eb647043e9bab85fd509626640044953d51b215774c1d2.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on April 02, 2020, 03:41:57 pm
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3df3604b031b7fe1e5eb647043e9bab85fd509626640044953d51b215774c1d2.png)
@corbe Has Obama ever denied it? If not then it must be 100% true.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on April 02, 2020, 04:14:19 pm
   I am unaware if obummer ever addressed the allegations @verga
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on April 19, 2020, 11:51:39 am
Florida Man Encases Self in Concrete at Governor's mansion in Tallehassee
Man apparently protesting prison conditions

A Florida man encased himself in concrete outside the Governorl's Mansion in the state
capital apparently to protest prison conditions related to Coronavirus.

A Tallahassee police spokesman says 28 year old Jordan Mazurek put PVC pipes horizontally into two 55-gallon plastic drums filled with concrete, with some sort of mechanism that locked his arms in place.

He was first spotted about 6 am Friday outside the fence surrounding the mansion and was eventually freed about 10:30 am.

The Tallahassee Democrat reported that one of Mazurek's drums was painted with the words, "Stop the massacre."  The other read, "Free the prisoners now.

https://www.wptu.com/news/state/florida-man-encases-self-in-concrete-governors-mansion-in-tallahassee (https://www.wptu.com/news/state/florida-man-encases-self-in-concrete-governors-mansion-in-tallahassee)


Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on April 19, 2020, 01:48:36 pm
Florida Man Encases Self in Concrete at Governor's mansionTallehassee
Man apparently protesting prison conditions

A Florida man encased himself in concrete outside the Governorl's Mansion in the state
capital apparently to protest prison conditions related to Coronavirus.

A Tallahassee police spokesman says 28 year old Jordan Mazurek put PVC pipes horizontally into two 55-gallon plastic drums filled with concrete, with some sort of mechanism that locked his arms in place.

He was first spotted about 6 am Friday outside the fence surrounding the mansion and was eventually freed about 10:30 am.

The Tallahassee Democrat reported that one of Mazurek's drums was painted with the words, "Stop the massacre."  The other read, "Free the prisoners now.

https://www.wptu.com/news/state/florida-man-encases-self-in-concrete-governors-mansion-in-tallahassee (https://www.wptu.com/news/state/florida-man-encases-self-in-concrete-governors-mansion-in-tallahassee)

Hope there is film a few hours later of how the next bathroom break went.   :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on April 19, 2020, 03:20:11 pm
Hope there is film a few hours later of how the next bathroom break went.   :silly:

Only if it involves a fire hose.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 19, 2020, 03:54:33 pm
Hope there is film a few hours later of how the next bathroom break went.   :silly:
Should have left him there for a week. Let his fellow lunatics get him out earlier.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 28, 2020, 08:45:09 pm
Florida man leaves welcome mat reading "Come back with a warrant." The police honor his wishes and find fentanyl.

https://www.news-journalonline.com/news/20200427/flagler-deputies-serve-warrant-at-house-with-come-back-with-warrant-doormat (https://www.news-journalonline.com/news/20200427/flagler-deputies-serve-warrant-at-house-with-come-back-with-warrant-doormat)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: libertybele on April 28, 2020, 09:19:27 pm
Florida man calls 911 to ask deputies to get him ice cream from his own freezer

CHARLOTTE COUNTY, Fla. — The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office arrested a man for calling 911 and misusing it.

The Sheriff’s Office said Michael James Gables called 911, and when deputies arrived, he requested they take the twenty-dollar bill he had on the couch and buy him liquor.

Gables made another call to 911 this time; it was a request to get him ice cream from his freezer because he could not get out of the recliner..........

https://www.fox4now.com/news/local-news/florida-man-calls-911-to-ask-deputies-to-get-him-ice-cream-from-his-own-freezer (https://www.fox4now.com/news/local-news/florida-man-calls-911-to-ask-deputies-to-get-him-ice-cream-from-his-own-freezer)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 28, 2020, 10:12:58 pm
Florida man calls 911 to ask deputies to get him ice cream from his own freezer

CHARLOTTE COUNTY, Fla. — The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office arrested a man for calling 911 and misusing it.

The Sheriff’s Office said Michael James Gables called 911, and when deputies arrived, he requested they take the twenty-dollar bill he had on the couch and buy him liquor.

Gables made another call to 911 this time; it was a request to get him ice cream from his freezer because he could not get out of the recliner..........

https://www.fox4now.com/news/local-news/florida-man-calls-911-to-ask-deputies-to-get-him-ice-cream-from-his-own-freezer (https://www.fox4now.com/news/local-news/florida-man-calls-911-to-ask-deputies-to-get-him-ice-cream-from-his-own-freezer)
That's how to get a guest spot on My 600 Pound Life...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: libertybele on April 28, 2020, 10:15:30 pm
That's how to get a guest spot on My 600 Pound Life...

 :yowsa:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on April 28, 2020, 10:28:27 pm
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/719zXs59czL._AC_SL1000_.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 28, 2020, 10:51:35 pm
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/719zXs59czL._AC_SL1000_.jpg)

Non slip?  Good!  I'd hate to think there was a risk of the cops not getting home safely.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on April 29, 2020, 12:10:13 am
I just called 911.
Need a beer from the fridge.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 13, 2020, 11:49:56 am
Say it with flowers.
Quote
Florida woman arrested for beating husband with Mother’s Day flowers
By Kenneth Garger
May 13, 2020 | 1:54am

A Florida woman was arrested for allegedly beating her husband with a bouquet of Mother’s Day flowers, a report said.

Sandra Kay Webb, 32, flipped out early Monday morning after learning her husband bought the flowers that were given to her by her children, The Smoking Gun reported, citing police.

The arrangement angered Webb, according to an arrest affidavit.

The mother chucked the flowers at her husband while he was in bed and then hit him with them, the report says. ...
Full story at NY Post (https://nypost.com/2020/05/13/florida-woman-arrested-for-beating-husband-with-mothers-day-flowers/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 13, 2020, 01:24:05 pm
...Thorny situation.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on May 13, 2020, 02:58:39 pm
...Thorny situation.

Beaten by A Floral Arrangment  and reported on the Smoking Gun.

Bet he's glad it wasn't the other way around....  :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 18, 2020, 09:58:07 pm
Been a while since we heard from this guy...
Florida Man Arrested For Whipping It Out In Front Of Woman Trying To Drink Coffee

(https://bustedcoverage.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2020/05/Florida-Man-Jousua-Echezarreta-was-arrested-for-exposing-himself.png?w=226)

https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/ (https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/)

But wait... there's another Florida man airing out his, well, you know what!

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 18, 2020, 10:30:59 pm
Poor Florida man (and woman) must have been suffering terribly during this lock-down due to not  having anybody to play with.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on May 19, 2020, 12:10:44 am
Been a while since we heard from this guy...
Florida Man Arrested For Whipping It Out In Front Of Woman Trying To Drink Coffee

(https://bustedcoverage.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2020/05/Florida-Man-Jousua-Echezarreta-was-arrested-for-exposing-himself.png?w=226)

https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/ (https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/)

But wait... there's another Florida man airing out his, well, you know what!

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/)

Just channeling his inner great great great grandfather.....

(https://img1.etsystatic.com/114/0/7206507/il_340x270.1067408667_81h1.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on May 19, 2020, 09:05:50 am
Been a while since we heard from this guy...
Florida Man Arrested For Whipping It Out In Front Of Woman Trying To Drink Coffee

(https://bustedcoverage.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2020/05/Florida-Man-Jousua-Echezarreta-was-arrested-for-exposing-himself.png?w=226)

https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/ (https://bustedcoverage.com/2020/05/18/florida-man-arrested-for-whipping-it-out-in-front-of-woman-trying-to-drink-coffee/)

But wait... there's another Florida man airing out his, well, you know what!

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/05/18/florida-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-claims-he-needed-to-air-out-deputies-say/)
[/quote
Whew, those eyeballs.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on May 19, 2020, 10:29:01 am

Whew, those eyeballs.

I know right? From the look on his face, you might think that the lady took some sort of violent exception to his public display. I've seen that look before, and that's usually what it's about.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on May 22, 2020, 10:08:16 pm

Florida Wo-man Rules the Roost
(https://i.imgur.com/PsCkynR.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 22, 2020, 10:17:48 pm
Florida Wo-man Rules the Roost
(https://i.imgur.com/PsCkynR.jpg)

The story about the missile attack is from 2014, but still funny:

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-crystal-metheny-20140611-post.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-crystal-metheny-20140611-post.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on May 22, 2020, 10:38:21 pm

The story about the missile attack is from 2014, but still funny:

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-crystal-metheny-20140611-post.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-crystal-metheny-20140611-post.html)

@Cyber Liberty

Wait! What!
You are on vacation. What the hell?
Didn't expect to hear from you until Monday.
What are you doing? Go get some dinner. Play the tables.
Have a good time.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 22, 2020, 10:43:04 pm
@Cyber Liberty

Wait! What!
You are on vacation. What the hell?
Didn't expect to hear from you until Monday.
What are you doing? Go get some dinner. Play the tables.
Have a good time.

The Hotel ain't open yet, maybe by the end of the month.  I just called them to ask, and they said they could open the Hotel legally, but did not want to without the Casino.  Makes sense.  Besides, I'd have taken the 'Puter with me anyway.  Gotta keep an eye on youse guys.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on May 22, 2020, 11:11:56 pm
The Hotel ain't open yet, maybe by the end of the month.  I just called them to ask, and they said they could open the Hotel legally, but did not want to without the Casino.  Makes sense.  Besides, I'd have taken the 'Puter with me anyway.  Gotta keep an eye on youse guys.
888blackhat *look* :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 22, 2020, 11:15:44 pm
888blackhat *look* :silly:

 :hattip:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on May 22, 2020, 11:31:46 pm
You?
You, gonna keep an eye on me?
Bacha ma culo...goomba
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 22, 2020, 11:38:59 pm
You?
You, gonna keep an eye on me?
Bacha ma culo...goomba

Can't help it.  It's my yob.   :2popcorn:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on June 09, 2020, 01:31:30 am
#FloridaMan strips naked at flea market, steals car, breaks into home, rips out mailbox, kisses old lady, gets arrested

Meet 23-year-old Lahorace Pickett Jr.

Lahorace is an Escambia County man who went on a crime spree last week, and in less than an hour, he got naked at a flea market, stole a car, broke into a home, and ripped someone’s mailbox out of the ground.

And on Wednesday, Lahorace was jailed on more than two dozen counts on charges ranging from burglary and indecent exposure to aggravated assault and battery.

According to News Channel 5, “it all began at T&W Flea Market on North T Street at 11:17 a.m. Witnesses told deputies Pickett jumped onto a coin machine and started punching and kicking it.

People inside the diner said Pickett then got on the ground, exposed his penis, and started screaming. One customer said Pickett jumped on his shoulders. Pickett is also accused of going behind the counter and touching and striking a worker.

The arrest reports say Pickett left the diner, took his clothes off in the parking lot, and got into someone’s car naked. Deputies arrived and found a pair of blue shorts and plaid boxers on the ground. They said they also found a backpack with a gun inside.

At 11:34 a.m., a 71-year-old woman who lives a few blocks away on North R Street told deputies Pickett drove up in the stolen car and confronted her outside. She says he grabbed her hair, tried to kiss her, and then picked up a piece of concrete and threatened to kill her.

Pickett is then accused of breaking into an RV on the property. A man who lives in the RV tried to confront him, but Pickett picked up a brick and threw it at him, the victim said.

When deputies arrived, they say Pickett tried to run. They caught him in the bed of a truck.

Deputies say Pickett had a backpack that contained his wallet and ID, a martial arts throwing star, handgun ammunition, and a bag of synthetic marijuana, also known as spice.

After Pickett was in custody, deputies responded to a third location on West Blount Street at 11:59 a.m.

A man told deputies he saw Pickett earlier in the day rip his neighbor’s mailbox out of the ground. Another witness said he saw Pickett break through the front door. A woman who lives there was at work at the time of the burglary but later came home and found her TV broken. The woman said nothing was stolen.

Jail records show Pickett lists the home on North R Street as his home address. However, the arrest report lists Pickett as homeless.

Pickett has a criminal history that includes convictions on robbery and battery charges.”

https://96krock.com/2020/06/08/floridaman-strips-naked-at-flea-market-steals-car-gets-arrested/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 09, 2020, 01:41:27 am
Lahorace: Oy, what a day I've had!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on June 09, 2020, 02:16:24 am
Lahorace: Oy, what a day I've had!
LOL  I hope he stays in Florida.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 30, 2020, 11:24:50 am
Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend, police say
Man told officers he needed to meet his girlfriend in California
Erin Dobrzyn
Published: June 22, 2020, 4:28 pm

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. – A Florida man is behind bars after he attempted to steal an airplane at the New Smyrna Beach Municipal Airport so he could fly to California to meet his girlfriend while carrying nearly 500 grams of marijuana, according to the New Smyrna Beach Police Department. ...

According to a report, the man asked the flight instructor how he could fly a plane.

By the time officers reached the tarmac, the man was sitting in the right seat of the aircraft. When officers approached him, he again asked if they knew how to fly the plane. The man then jumped from the emergency exit window of the plane and was detained by officers. ... Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/06/22/florida-man-carrying-nearly-500-grams-of-weed-tries-to-steal-plane-to-meet-girlfriend-police-say/)
(https://www.clickorlando.com/resizer/GYlBETpTnMnDAVW8yP6kv6lA-5s=/1600x900/smart/filters:format(jpeg):strip_exif(true):strip_icc(true):no_upscale(true):quality(65)/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/gmg/NSU6MADLLNHD3DCLCS6ELF2ERA.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on June 30, 2020, 01:08:10 pm
Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend, police say


Sure it wasn't 400-450 grams?   :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 30, 2020, 01:22:23 pm
Sure it wasn't 400-450 grams?   :silly:

Just under 500gm.  Would have been easier if they just said "a Pound."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on June 30, 2020, 01:46:16 pm
Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend, police say
Man told officers he needed to meet his girlfriend in California
Erin Dobrzyn
Published: June 22, 2020, 4:28 pm

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. – A Florida man is behind bars after he attempted to steal an airplane at the New Smyrna Beach Municipal Airport so he could fly to California to meet his girlfriend while carrying nearly 500 grams of marijuana, according to the New Smyrna Beach Police Department. ...

According to a report, the man asked the flight instructor how he could fly a plane.

By the time officers reached the tarmac, the man was sitting in the right seat of the aircraft. When officers approached him, he again asked if they knew how to fly the plane. The man then jumped from the emergency exit window of the plane and was detained by officers. ... Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/06/22/florida-man-carrying-nearly-500-grams-of-weed-tries-to-steal-plane-to-meet-girlfriend-police-say/)
(https://www.clickorlando.com/resizer/GYlBETpTnMnDAVW8yP6kv6lA-5s=/1600x900/smart/filters:format(jpeg):strip_exif(true):strip_icc(true):no_upscale(true):quality(65)/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/gmg/NSU6MADLLNHD3DCLCS6ELF2ERA.png)
"Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend"

They wrote that like there's something wrong with doing what he did.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 30, 2020, 01:58:31 pm
"Florida man carrying nearly 500 grams of weed tries to steal plane to meet girlfriend"

They wrote that like there's something wrong with doing what he did.

He's lucky he got caught.  Odds approach 100% that he would have crashed the plane trying to land it.  He may have seen an instructor do it, but it's bloody difficult to try to do it without any kind of training.  When I was a kid some guy tried stealing a plane after having an introductory lesson, and they found pieces of him all wrapped around an oak tree about 1/2 mile short of the runway.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on July 16, 2020, 06:57:54 pm
Walmart Mask/Gun Incident: Florida Man Draws on Shopper Who Confronted Him About Wearing a Mask [VIDEO]
by Dan Zimmerman
Jul 16, 2020
Quote
Is there a more volatile mix than two Florida Men in a Walmart? It doesn’t seem so. Then throw in a confrontation over wearing a mask — or the lack thereof — and things can (and sometimes do) escalate quickly.

It’s just a matter of time before one of these mask-related disputes results in a shot being fired.

From the AP:
Quote
    An unmasked man pulled a gun on a masked shopper and threatened to kill him during an apparent confrontation over masks at a Florida Walmart store, sheriff’s officials said.

    The Royal Palm Beach store’s security video shows the unmasked man pushing an older man in a wheelchair through the store on Saturday afternoon, the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said in a Facebook post. Sheriff’s officials said they have identified the man, who is cooperating with detectives. They have not released his name.

    The man in the wheelchair pulled a red neckerchief over his mouth in the store.

    The video shows a shopper wearing a mask approach the pair and exchange words. That’s when the unmasked man gives the shopper the middle finger before pulling a handgun from his waistband, the sheriff’s office said.  ...
More, and video, at The Truth About Guns (https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/walmart-mask-gun-confrontation-florida-man-draws-on-shopper-who-confronted-him-about-wearing-a-mask-video/) (which is a pro-2A site).
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on July 30, 2020, 06:53:24 pm
Florida man opens fire in hotel lobby because a mother and son weren't social distancing, police say
July 30, 2020
The Blaze
Quote
A Florida man fired a gun inside a Miami Beach hotel after he became angry that a mother and son weren't social distancing, police said.

The shooting happened Monday night at the Crystal Beach Suites Hotel on Collins Avenue. Douglas Marks reportedly entered the lobby of the beachfront hotel and noticed a mother and son sitting on a couch.

"You all aren't social distancing," Marks told the mother and son, according to the police report. Marks then told them, "You all need to leave."   ...

Marks then pulled out a firearm and fired several shots. An anonymous male witness said he shielded the mother and son during the shooting, and claimed there were "like six" shots fired.

Police say the shooter "continued to scream commands to social distance while holding the firearm and subsequently fired several shots."  ...
Full story (https://www.theblaze.com/news/florida-man-miami-hotel-lobby-social-distancing)

No one was injured.

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on August 02, 2020, 06:14:21 pm
https://twitter.com/hashtag/BecauseFlorida?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1289647775441760256%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.weaselzippers.us%2F&src=hashtag_click (https://twitter.com/hashtag/BecauseFlorida?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1289647775441760256%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.weaselzippers.us%2F&src=hashtag_click)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 07, 2020, 12:47:27 pm
 Florida man spits on boy in restaurant, says ‘you now have coronavirus’
By Kenneth Garger
August 7, 2020 | 2:17am
Quote
An intoxicated Florida man allegedly spat on a child’s face and told the boy “You now have coronavirus,” according to a report.

The disturbing encounter took place last Sunday night at Ricky T’s restaurant in Treasure Island, Fox 13 news reported. ...

“Victim stated that (Copenhaver) was in such close proximity that spit particles from (Copenhaver’s) mouth landed in his face,” an officer wrote in the police report. ...
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/08/covid-spitter-1.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Was that wrong?
Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/08/07/florida-man-spits-on-boy-and-says-you-now-have-coronavirus/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 07, 2020, 01:30:49 pm
Florida man spits on boy in restaurant, says ‘you now have coronavirus’
By Kenneth Garger
August 7, 2020 | 2:17am (https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/08/covid-spitter-1.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Was that wrong?
Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/08/07/florida-man-spits-on-boy-and-says-you-now-have-coronavirus/)

@mountaineer

I am tempted to say "He should be arrested for felony assault!",but the plain truth is he should be hanged in public with a sign around his neck reading "This is what happens to adults that purposely harm children!",and left swinging until the birds have picked his bones clean.

I know it's not what is GOING to happen,but I do sincerely wish it were. If it were MY child,you would already be reading his obit.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on August 07, 2020, 04:42:11 pm
@mountaineer

I am tempted to say "He should be arrested for felony assault!",but the plain truth is he should be hanged in public with a sign around his neck reading "This is what happens to adults that purposely harm children!",and left swinging until the birds have picked his bones clean.

I know it's not what is GOING to happen,but I do sincerely wish it were. If it were MY child,you would already be reading his obit.
Do you think his parents were brother and sister, or just first cousins?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 07, 2020, 06:25:54 pm
Do you think his parents were brother and sister, or just first cousins?

@verga

I honestly can't think too much about it without wanting to break stuff and hurt people.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 07, 2020, 08:44:32 pm
@mountaineer

I am tempted to say "He should be arrested for felony assault!",but the plain truth is he should be hanged in public with a sign around his neck reading "This is what happens to adults that purposely harm children!",and left swinging until the birds have picked his bones clean.

I know it's not what is GOING to happen,but I do sincerely wish it were. If it were MY child,you would already be reading his obit.
Pete, as civility breaks down in this country, that becomes an increasing possibility. Besides, you don't know what other pathogens this jerk may have had.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on August 07, 2020, 08:49:26 pm
Pete, as civility breaks down in this country, that becomes an increasing possibility. Besides, you don't know what other pathogens this jerk may have had.

How he has managed to keep his front teeth from being knocked out is the real mystery.  Rotted and falling out from Meth not withstanding.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on August 08, 2020, 01:31:59 am
How he has managed to keep his front teeth from being knocked out is the real mystery.  Rotted and falling out from Meth not withstanding.

Wrong question.

Does he take his front teeth out now because it is such a pain in the ass to get a new set, at your expense, every time.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 21, 2020, 06:33:46 am
#FloridaMan strips naked at flea market, steals car, breaks into home, rips out mailbox, kisses old lady, gets arrested

@dancer

I havta ask. Did the old lady bail him out?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 21, 2020, 10:55:21 pm
Quote
Florida Man Who Traveled To Vancouver To Meet Teen Girl Had Cache of Disturbing Items In Hotel Room
September 20, 2020

TACOMA, Wash. – A 39-year-old New Port Ritchey, Florida, man is in federal custody tonight charged with production of child pornography and enticement of a minor. Samuel Aaron Leonard was arrested July 2, in Vancouver, Washington, just outside the home of the 14‑year-old girl he had spent months enticing online for sexual abuse. Leonard allegedly communicated with the girl on a number of social media platforms and represented to the girl that he was 20 years old. ...

 When the officer, posing as the girl, revealed that the girl’s guardian had taken the phone Leonard had sent to her, Leonard said he would get her a new one. Police surveilled Leonard as he took a newly purchased phone, hid it in a package, and tossed the package over the fence to the girl’s backyard. Leonard was arrested shortly afterwards.

A search of Leonard’s hotel room revealed that he had a firearm and ammunition, four folding survival knives, a survival axe, and a number of items used to restrain someone, such as ten sets of flex cuffs and two sets of metal handcuffs, as well as duct tape and electrical tape. He also had various sex toys and lubricants. ...
(https://breaking911.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/S160569752-696x392.jpg)

Breaking 911 (https://breaking911.com/florida-man-who-traveled-to-vancouver-to-meet-teen-girl-had-cache-of-disturbing-items-in-hotel-room/)

Florida Man not content to do his mischief, debauchery and foolishness in his home state anymore!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 22, 2020, 12:12:39 am
Let's hope Washington hits him up with some industrial-sized sentences,but given that it's one of the nations left coast states,chances are he will get probation.

Which might be why he is doing his preying in Washington instead of Florida? Florida catches you doin't this stuff,they hammer you.

BTW,WHY are no federal charges beating him over the head? "Interstate sex trade as well as interstate
sexual talks with a minor,etc,etc,etc? Isn't it even a federal offense to use the post office or a phone line to do this stuff with/to a minor?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on September 27, 2020, 08:27:44 pm
Do you think his parents were brother and sister, or just first cousins?
(https://i.imgur.com/DOfaMwb.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: christian on October 27, 2020, 10:45:23 am
Was that naked man running crime spree Hunter or Joe, and is this a clue as to how he will govern should he win the election.  I expect Joe will extend far beyond this little spree. 22222frying pan :silly: Joe isn't hiding in the bunker after all !
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 27, 2020, 03:58:15 pm
Where has Florida Man been the last few weeks,in rehab?

I was beginning to get worried he had kissed the wrong alligator.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 27, 2020, 07:38:36 pm
Florida Man in ‘Garbage Bag Suit’ Set Garbage Trucks On Fire, Causing Millions in Damage
October 26, 2020
Quote
Pompano Beach, FLA. — Broward Sheriff’s Office Violent Crimes detectives are looking for a man, dressed in black, who set fire to several garbage trucks.

At approximately 2:12 a.m. Sunday, Oct. 18, an unknown male subject wearing a black garbage bag type suit and goggles entered the Waste Pro facility located at 3101 N.W. 16th Ter. in Pompano Beach. After the male forced entry, by torching the gate, to gain access into the compound he walked toward the rear of the property alongside the garbage trucks with what appeared to be a gas canister.

Surveillance video of the incident shows the subject walk to the rear of the property and light a garbage truck on fire. He then proceeded to walk back toward the front gate lighting several other garage trucks on fire before opening a door to the building, placing a clear bottle of liquid on the floor and lighting the liquid causing the building to catch fire. The suspect is then seen leaving the compound through the gate and then fled in a black sedan.  ...
(https://breaking911.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/maxresdefault-11-696x392.jpg)
More at Breaking 911 (https://breaking911.com/florida-man-in-garbage-bag-suit-set-garbage-trucks-on-fire-causing-millions-in-damage/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on October 29, 2020, 06:53:18 am
Where has Florida Man been the last few weeks,in rehab?

I was beginning to get worried he had kissed the wrong alligator.
Nah, he's in Covid lockdown.  Imagine the release of all that pent-up energy once lockdown is removed.  :yowsa:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on October 29, 2020, 06:54:26 am
Florida Man in ‘Garbage Bag Suit’ Set Garbage Trucks On Fire, Causing Millions in Damage
October 26, 2020More at Breaking 911 (https://breaking911.com/florida-man-in-garbage-bag-suit-set-garbage-trucks-on-fire-causing-millions-in-damage/)
OOPS.  Looks like Florida man found a work-around on lockdown.   :yowsa:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 29, 2020, 07:33:22 am
Nah, he's in Covid lockdown.  Imagine the release of all that pent-up energy once lockdown is removed.  :yowsa:

@dancer

Yee,HAW!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 29, 2020, 07:35:20 am
OOPS.  Looks like Florida man found a work-around on lockdown.   :yowsa:

@dancer

Anybody who has ever lived in a city can tell you setting fire to trash trucks has to be THE stupidest thing you can do.

It won't take long for health issues to get out of control with no garbage pickups.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 31, 2020, 02:18:56 pm
What the heck, they're Florida men, too, so I'll post the story in this category:
Quote
‘Bad Boys 4 Life.’ Cops lived Miami lifestyle, secretly protected cocaine load, feds say
David Ovalle
Fri, October 30, 2020, 6:03 AM EDT

On social media, Miami-Dade police officers Roderick Flowers and Keith Edwards preened with their badges, donned thick gold jewelry and smoked cigars.

They also took a liking to “Bad Boys,” the police action-movie franchise set in Miami. On Instagram, Flowers even used the name “Mike Lowrey,” the character played by actor Will Smith. Around last Halloween, Edwards posted a photo of the two dressed like the fictional detectives with the caption: “We ride together. We die together. Bad Boys 4 Life.”

Federal authorities say they may now go to prison together.

Flowers appeared in federal court on Friday afternoon, one day after authorities arrested the two on allegations they agreed to act as muscle for a cocaine-trafficking operation set up by undercover agents. Also charged: a Miami money laundering suspect named Manuel Carlos Hernandez — who boasted Flowers was on his payroll, according to court documents. ...
Miami Herald via Yahoo News (https://news.yahoo.com/bad-boys-4-life-cops-100354818.html)

(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/4wTp5B8E0Bygm4MZYj.xQg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTUzOS43ODk0NzM2ODQyMTA1/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/jZTFjGHJ0PkE.K6yOul3zw--~B/aD02NDE7dz0xMTQwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/miami_herald_mcclatchy_975/6fd6394b5d9d2c800c306f01494f6c3a)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on October 31, 2020, 03:18:25 pm
Florida Man in ‘Garbage Bag Suit’ Set Garbage Trucks On Fire, Causing Millions in Damage
October 26, 2020More at Breaking 911 (https://breaking911.com/florida-man-in-garbage-bag-suit-set-garbage-trucks-on-fire-causing-millions-in-damage/)
No question in my mind, that is an ex-employee who was terminated.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 01, 2020, 12:29:13 am

Those wusses were working as "muscle"?

Seriously?

The typical 12 year old girl carries more muscle than either of those wusses.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 09, 2020, 01:05:07 am
A good Florida Man story:

Florida man becomes first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman

Chris Nikic became the first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman Triathalon.

The organization posted on Facebook that the "defining moment in IRONMAN history" is an accomplishment that just proves that anything is possible.

Nikic swam 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles and ran 26.2 miles to complete the event in Florida.

https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85 (https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on November 09, 2020, 01:10:15 am
A good Florida Man story:

Florida man becomes first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman

Chris Nikic became the first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman Triathalon.

The organization posted on Facebook that the "defining moment in IRONMAN history" is an accomplishment that just proves that anything is possible.

Nikic swam 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles and ran 26.2 miles to complete the event in Florida.

https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85 (https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85)

That's freaking awesome, @jmyrlefuller!  The best story on this whole thread!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 09, 2020, 01:31:50 am
What a nice story, j.myrle. Thanks for posting.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on November 09, 2020, 01:42:07 am
Sooo..Floridians aren't as retarded as we are led to believe?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on November 09, 2020, 12:54:23 pm
A good Florida Man story:

Florida man becomes first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman

Chris Nikic became the first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman Triathalon.

The organization posted on Facebook that the "defining moment in IRONMAN history" is an accomplishment that just proves that anything is possible.

Nikic swam 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles and ran 26.2 miles to complete the event in Florida.

https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85 (https://www.11alive.com/article/life/heartwarming/florida-man-becomes-first-person-with-down-syndrome-to-complete-an-ironman/51-c5e531a4-7fb1-4e7a-98e2-c2d5c4d4cd85)
I have competed in Sprint Tri's, and was training for a Half Iron about 7 years ago, until I was sidelined with a leg injury. This is amazing.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 20, 2020, 02:49:48 pm
Other angry Democrat heard from, this time a Florida woman:
Quote
Lantana woman threatened to 'shoot' Florida governor, senators, deputies say
Karen Jones, 55, admits to making Twitter post but says it was 'joke'
By: Peter Burke
Posted at 10:45 AM, Nov 16, 2020
and last updated 5:51 PM, Nov 16, 2020

LANTANA, Fla. — A Lantana woman is accused of threatening to shoot Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis and Florida's two Republican senators.

Karen Jones, 55, faces three counts of written threats to kill or do bodily harm.

According to a Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office probable cause affidavit, Jones wrote on Twitter that DeSantis, Sen. Marco Rubio and Sen. Rick Scott were "looting" her state and that she was going to "shoot them."  ...
Full story (https://www.wptv.com/news/region-c-palm-beach-county/lantana/lantana-woman-threatened-to-shoot-florida-governor-senators-deputies-say)

WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Quote
  ...Jones, a registered Democrat, was responding to a Washington Post reporter who had shared an article about proposed “anti-mob” legislation that would expand Florida’s stand-your-ground law.

When questioned by authorities, Jones admitted to writing the post but claimed it was a “joke,” according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

Jones is a freelance journalist who has contributed to several online publications. On Twitter, she had many friendly exchanges with Portland-based antifa writer, Robert Evans. They were both writers at Cracked. Evans gained national prominence over the summer for his coverage of the Portland protests and riots despite espousing views in support of terrorism against police.

Jones appeared to share that in common with Evans.

On July 10, Jones posted on Facebook: “#ACAB. There, I said it, and I’ll say this, too: THERE ARE NO GOOD COPS.”

Jones' Twitter account, now suspended, listed her pronouns and support for BLM and transgender issues.
She lists herself as a short fiction editor at Scribd and a copy editor at The Modern Rogue on her LinkedIn page. Her Facebook is still active and filled with anti-police, anti-Trump and pro-BLM posts. ...
The Post-Millennial (https://thepostmillennial.com/imma-shoot-them-journalist-arrested-over-threat-to-kill-republicans)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 20, 2020, 03:18:12 pm
I'm guessing she will never do THAT again.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on November 20, 2020, 04:56:36 pm
Other angry Democrat heard from, this time a Florida woman:Full story (https://www.wptv.com/news/region-c-palm-beach-county/lantana/lantana-woman-threatened-to-shoot-florida-governor-senators-deputies-say)
Of course her name is Karen, the only think that would make it better is if she had spelled it Caren.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 22, 2020, 07:53:19 pm
Florida man wrestles gator to save dog
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on November 22, 2020, 08:02:18 pm
Florida man wrestles gator to save dog
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/)

All of us who live near the gulf coast, know better to let our pets unleashed near the water.  Good for the guy, but that size of gator is pretty manageable.  I've caught them that big on my fishing line, landed 'em, and let them go.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 22, 2020, 11:19:14 pm
Florida man wrestles gator to save dog
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/)

@jmyrlefuller

I like the fact that he didn't even lose his cigar.

He should change his name to "Joe Cool".
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on November 24, 2020, 01:20:18 pm
Florida man wrestles gator to save dog
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/)

Good stuff. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on November 24, 2020, 01:24:23 pm
Florida man wrestles gator to save dog
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/11/21/florida-man-wrestles-gator-to-save-dog/)

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ac/be/b8/acbeb8630b4e7d7c5ded2a03597ca178.jpg)

Well done.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 16, 2020, 02:30:26 pm
Quote
A thief’s burglary attempt backfired when the window of the Florida home he was trying to climb through abruptly crashed down on his neck, killing him, police said.

The freak incident unfolded Saturday when the convicted felon with facial tattoos and piercings, 32-year-old Jonathan Hernandez, attempted to break into a residence in Lehigh Acres, the Lee County Sheriff’s Office said.

“When Hernandez was trying to work his way through the window, it unexpectedly closed on top of him, pinning him and keeping him suspended in the air,” Lt. Russell Park, a spokesman for the sheriff’s office, said Monday.

Hernandez was dead by the time deputies arrived, according to Park.  ...
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/12/jonathan-hernandez.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Late Florida man J. Hernandez

Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/12/15/would-be-florida-burglar-dies-after-window-slams-down-on-him/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on December 16, 2020, 03:05:12 pm
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/12/jonathan-hernandez.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Late Florida man J. Hernandez

Full story (https://nypost.com/2020/12/15/would-be-florida-burglar-dies-after-window-slams-down-on-him/)

Is that show 1000 Ways to Die still on? 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on December 16, 2020, 06:43:51 pm
Well this brings to mind a friend of my father back in Chicago. He lived in a remodeled brick building and had a gas station right across the street...

As it turns out, the remodel of his house was generally good (I remember this house from my yoot), with the exception that, because of a split-level re-design, the window in his bathroom was pretty much even with the floor. That was not optimal, but it was in the bathroom, so his wife just hung a long floor-length curtain at normal height and left the curtain closed.

Well, it was winter, and a howler outside, dumping down snow, and below freezing when he got done at the shop and battled the wind and cold on his short walk home. And since his wife had not yet returned, he wandered upstairs to the bathroom to shower in preparation for dinnertime.

Getting out of the shower, he slipped on the wet tile and went down... Soon discovering himself deposited in a snow bank, having blown right out the window and to the ground below. Wet and naked as a jaybird, he realized his dangerous predicament... The door was locked, and the window he had fallen from was on the second floor.

Then it came to him... The big picture window in the living room had not yet had the latch and locks installed - And if he could reach it, he could gain access. As luck would have it, the keys to his tow truck were left in the cab, so off he went streaking across the street to sit in the ice-cold cab and start up the truck.

Everything went fine from there... The truck started fine, and lights a-blaring, he took a run at the drifts below the living room window, and on the first go, got the truck close enough to attempt access from the hood of the truck into the picture window.

But alas, while the window opened fine, while he was crawling through, the window came down across his middle, and having nothing to stand upon to give his legs leverage...  :shrug:

There he was.

A passing motorist noticed his bare ass in the glow of the tow truck lights and called the cops. As they were arriving, with red and blues flashing, and the tow truck flashing, to the bemusement of the small group of cops, His wife arrived home that very moment.

That is not the sort of thing one will ever live down. And his only luck was in the fact that youtube was far, far from being created yet.

I have a particular fondness for folks trapped by windows ever since...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on December 17, 2020, 11:07:32 am
@roamer_1

That's hysterical!  Can't stop laughing!   :silly: :silly: :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on December 17, 2020, 02:29:46 pm
@roamer_1

That's hysterical!  Can't stop laughing!   :silly: :silly: :silly:

 happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 17, 2020, 04:11:41 pm
@roamer_1 I read your story to Mr. M, and he laughed greatly. He said it reminded him of a bit Jackie Vernon did about a guy named Sid Sakowitz, who got his head stuck in the AutoMat door while eating a piece of apple pie, because he didn't know you were supposed to take the pie out first.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on December 17, 2020, 04:22:51 pm
@roamer_1 I read your story to Mr. M, and he laughed greatly. He said it reminded him of a bit Jackie Vernon did about a guy named Sid Sakowitz, who got his head stuck in the AutoMat door while eating a piece of apple pie, because he didn't know you were supposed to take the pie out first.

LOL!  :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on December 17, 2020, 06:51:18 pm
Well this brings to mind a friend of my father back in Chicago. He lived in a remodeled brick building and had a gas station right across the street...

As it turns out, the remodel of his house was generally good (I remember this house from my yoot), with the exception that, because of a split-level re-design, the window in his bathroom was pretty much even with the floor. That was not optimal, but it was in the bathroom, so his wife just hung a long floor-length curtain at normal height and left the curtain closed.

Well, it was winter, and a howler outside, dumping down snow, and below freezing when he got done at the shop and battled the wind and cold on his short walk home. And since his wife had not yet returned, he wandered upstairs to the bathroom to shower in preparation for dinnertime.

Getting out of the shower, he slipped on the wet tile and went down... Soon discovering himself deposited in a snow bank, having blown right out the window and to the ground below. Wet and naked as a jaybird, he realized his dangerous predicament... The door was locked, and the window he had fallen from was on the second floor.

Then it came to him... The big picture window in the living room had not yet had the latch and locks installed - And if he could reach it, he could gain access. As luck would have it, the keys to his tow truck were left in the cab, so off he went streaking across the street to sit in the ice-cold cab and start up the truck.

Everything went fine from there... The truck started fine, and lights a-blaring, he took a run at the drifts below the living room window, and on the first go, got the truck close enough to attempt access from the hood of the truck into the picture window.

But alas, while the window opened fine, while he was crawling through, the window came down across his middle, and having nothing to stand upon to give his legs leverage...  :shrug:

There he was.

A passing motorist noticed his bare ass in the glow of the tow truck lights and called the cops. As they were arriving, with red and blues flashing, and the tow truck flashing, to the bemusement of the small group of cops, His wife arrived home that very moment.

That is not the sort of thing one will ever live down. And his only luck was in the fact that youtube was far, far from being created yet.

I have a particular fondness for folks trapped by windows ever since...
"Getting out of the shower, he slipped on the wet tile and went down... Soon discovering himself deposited in a snow bank, having blown right out the window and to the ground below"

Let me get this right.....he steps out of the shower, slips on the floor, gets blown out of a window, and ends up in a snowbank.
How does this happen? Blown out of the window how? If he slipped and was on the floor, how does he get blown out of a window?  What could blow him out of that window? The wind? Why would he leave the window open while  taking a shower in very cold weather? But two windows would have to be open to blow him out. Two open windows in a bathroom? I've got a very large bathroom, but it only has one window.
If he was naked and the window was closed, wouldn't he have been severely cut by broken glass?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on December 17, 2020, 07:14:41 pm
"Getting out of the shower, he slipped on the wet tile and went down... Soon discovering himself deposited in a snow bank, having blown right out the window and to the ground below"

Let me get this right.....he steps out of the shower, slips on the floor, gets blown out of a window, and ends up in a snowbank.
How does this happen? Blown out of the window how? If he slipped and was on the floor, how does he get blown out of a window?  What could blow him out of that window? The wind? Why would he leave the window open while  taking a shower in very cold weather? But two windows would have to be open to blow him out. Two open windows in a bathroom? I've got a very large bathroom, but it only has one window.
If he was naked and the window was closed, wouldn't he have been severely cut by broken glass?

Because the remodel left the window at floor level, when he slipped he slid right out through the window... I don't know if he got cut up. Incidentally, the window eventually got fixed - for whatever reason, he didn't brick it up he cut it up taller, framed in a bump out, and reinstalled the window at standard height. That's how I remember that window.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 25, 2020, 09:53:04 pm
Florida Man busy fixing holiday dinner for the family. Florida woman to the rescue!
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EqHTrXpXAAE5KtB?format=jpg&name=900x900)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on December 26, 2020, 12:05:31 am
Florida Man busy fixing holiday dinner for the family. Florida woman to the rescue!
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EqHTrXpXAAE5KtB?format=jpg&name=900x900)

@mountaineer

And,as you can tell from the photo,she is a novice meth head. The pros look like extras from a set of The Walking Dead.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 26, 2020, 12:15:58 am
I didn't know Walmart had sushi. What kind of wine goes with that (and cinnamon rolls), I wonder?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on December 26, 2020, 12:22:04 am
I didn't know Walmart had sushi. What kind of wine goes with that (and cinnamon rolls), I wonder?
I don't know of anyone I'd want to be behind in the checkout line after they've been on that diet...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 26, 2020, 03:24:32 am
Florida men (and women) save 20 golden retriever puppers from becoming Chinese food

Twenty rescued golden retrievers met their forever families Sunday. The dogs had a long journey all the way from China, where they were saved from a meat market.

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2020/12/22/dogs-rescued-meat-market-china-south-florida-home/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on December 26, 2020, 09:43:47 am
@mountaineer

And,as you can tell from the photo,she is a novice meth head. The pros look like extras from a set of The Walking Dead.
So true!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on December 26, 2020, 02:14:32 pm
@mountaineer

And,as you can tell from the photo,she is a novice meth head. The pros look like extras from a set of The Walking Dead.

Wine, sushi, and cinnabons?  Sounds more like the side effects of a cannabis edible overdose.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 26, 2020, 03:04:28 pm
I saw that story about the Golden Retrievers. Hard to believe anyone would eat them. I guess I just assumed (without any evidence) the Chinese would stick to stray dogs and mongrels, not purebreds!  **nononono*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on January 07, 2021, 12:18:46 pm
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/snidely-whiplash-bust-908743 (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/snidely-whiplash-bust-908743)

A routine robbery, but an epic mugshot:

(http://www.thesmokinggun.com/sites/default/files/assets/tylercribbs21.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on January 07, 2021, 01:47:09 pm
I have a feeling he went on a multi-day bender and woke up with that lovely facial enhancement, not remembering a thing about getting it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 07, 2021, 03:55:26 pm
I saw that story about the Golden Retrievers. Hard to believe anyone would eat them. I guess I just assumed (without any evidence) the Chinese would stick to stray dogs and mongrels, not purebreds!  **nononono*

@mountaineer

There ARE no stray dogs in China.

Guess why this is so.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 07, 2021, 05:31:50 pm
@mountaineer

There ARE no stray dogs in China.

Guess why this is so.
Simple enough. There are 1001 ways to wok your dog there.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 08, 2021, 03:52:00 am
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/snidely-whiplash-bust-908743 (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/snidely-whiplash-bust-908743)

A routine robbery, but an epic mugshot:

(http://www.thesmokinggun.com/sites/default/files/assets/tylercribbs21.jpg)
How low is your IQ when you do something like that? You're announcing to anyone who sees you "hi, I'm a complete idiot."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on January 08, 2021, 04:11:12 am
Simple enough. There are 1001 ways to wok your dog there.

@Smokin Joe
Hey, I lol'd!   888high58888
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Reason10 on January 28, 2021, 02:49:39 pm
There is a place in Kissimmee called Gatorland Zoo. It has gator feeding shows (where the feeder chains himself to the wall and holds chicken breasts up for alligators to actually jump up to get them, as if this were Sea World. (The chain is in case the gator grabs his hand. Keeps the gator from pulling the rest of him in the water.) And there are signs along all of the walkways warning tourists not to lean over the side because alligators are able to jump. And yes there are gator wrestling shows. In these shows, a guy pulls a six foot gator out of the water and messes with it. Both the guy and the gator have brains the size of a lima bean.

What confuses me is the fact that the snack bar sells fried gator tail. Is that for the acts that screw up? They wind up on the menu?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Reason10 on January 28, 2021, 02:52:39 pm
Polk County Sheriff Grady
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQF2SFz0A0I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQF2SFz0A0I)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 28, 2021, 03:36:55 pm
Polk County Sheriff Grady
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQF2SFz0A0I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQF2SFz0A0I)

Joe Arpaio was like that in Maricopa County, AZ.  "If you have a gun and can legally carry, please do.  We do not have a requirement for a permit to carry."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 28, 2021, 03:37:28 pm
Welcome to TBR, @Reason10!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Bigun on January 28, 2021, 04:24:16 pm
Simple enough. There are 1001 ways to wok your dog there.

I saw a video of one occurrence and it took me years to erase the memory.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 28, 2021, 07:14:32 pm
There is a place in Kissimmee called Gatorland Zoo. It has gator feeding shows (where the feeder chains himself to the wall and holds chicken breasts up for alligators to actually jump up to get them, as if this were Sea World. (The chain is in case the gator grabs his hand. Keeps the gator from pulling the rest of him in the water.) And there are signs along all of the walkways warning tourists not to lean over the side because alligators are able to jump. And yes there are gator wrestling shows. In these shows, a guy pulls a six foot gator out of the water and messes with it. Both the guy and the gator have brains the size of a lima bean.

What confuses me is the fact that the snack bar sells fried gator tail. Is that for the acts that screw up? They wind up on the menu?

@Reason10

I disagree. The gator is obviously brighter. He or she gets a rare meal with fresh blood if it wins. All the guy gets is a painful death by gator.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on January 28, 2021, 07:50:00 pm
@Reason10

I disagree. The gator is obviously brighter. He or she gets a rare meal with fresh blood if it wins. All the guy gets is a painful death by gator.
Went to one of those in FL. Native American showed us his left hand missing index finger.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 28, 2021, 07:51:35 pm
Went to one of those in FL. Native American showed us his left hand missing index finger.

I think "Gator Wrestling" was outlawed years ago...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 28, 2021, 11:34:09 pm
BTW,Trump is a Florida Man now.

Just sayin...........
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on February 11, 2021, 06:52:33 pm
February 10, 2021   
Miami man pleads guilty to using Covid loan for Lamborghini

A South Florida man has pleaded guilty to fraudulently obtaining $3.9 million in federal coronavirus loans and using some of the money to buy a Lamborghini Huracan.

David Hines, of Miami, rubbed his forehead in apparent shame as he pleaded guilty to federal charges including bank fraud at a hearing Wednesday held via videoconference because of COVID-19 restrictions. He will be sentenced in April.

As part of the plea, Hines acknowledged receiving $3.9 million in federal government loans on behalf of different companies he managed, fraudulently claiming they would be used to pay employees impacted by the pandemic. Instead, he used the proceeds to go on a spending spree that included shelling out $318,000 on a Lamborghini sportscar as well as running up bills at a jewelry store and a luxury Miami Beach hotel. ... WSVN (https://wsvn.com/news/local/miami-man-pleads-guilty-to-using-covid-loan-for-lamborghini/amp/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on February 11, 2021, 07:52:19 pm
February 10, 2021   
Miami man pleads guilty to using Covid loan for Lamborghini

A South Florida man has pleaded guilty to fraudulently obtaining $3.9 million in federal coronavirus loans and using some of the money to buy a Lamborghini Huracan.

David Hines, of Miami, rubbed his forehead in apparent shame as he pleaded guilty to federal charges including bank fraud at a hearing Wednesday held via videoconference because of COVID-19 restrictions. He will be sentenced in April.

As part of the plea, Hines acknowledged receiving $3.9 million in federal government loans on behalf of different companies he managed, fraudulently claiming they would be used to pay employees impacted by the pandemic. Instead, he used the proceeds to go on a spending spree that included shelling out $318,000 on a Lamborghini sportscar as well as running up bills at a jewelry store and a luxury Miami Beach hotel. ... WSVN (https://wsvn.com/news/local/miami-man-pleads-guilty-to-using-covid-loan-for-lamborghini/amp/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter)
I seriously doubt that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Reason10 on March 03, 2021, 01:58:14 pm

This has GOT to be the original FLORIDA MAN.

(https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p180x540/155019162_10218365965956495_191595292445962778_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&ccb=3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=_371GTzdJlsAX-sIwG5&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&tp=6&oh=6ec316c53879ffcbe060e125c8015525&oe=6067098D)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on March 03, 2021, 06:31:29 pm
This has GOT to be the original FLORIDA MAN.

(https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p180x540/155019162_10218365965956495_191595292445962778_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&ccb=3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=_371GTzdJlsAX-sIwG5&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&tp=6&oh=6ec316c53879ffcbe060e125c8015525&oe=6067098D)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTGtASjOwdKbBsd-JUex_NWNNl_ZIabPT03xw&usqp=CAU)THIS!! is the original Florida rabbit...er...man.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on March 10, 2021, 05:42:29 am
Florida man pulls out ‘Dank Gummies’ instead of ID after nearly hitting gas pump, deputies say

Deputies said they were called to a gas station on Pine Ridge Road in Naples shortly before midnight on March 1 because witnesses said a suspicious man had nearly hit a gas pump and appeared to be under the influence.

Records show Demecio Lopez saw the deputy and immediately asked for help calling AAA because his car wouldn’t start, even though the keys were not in the ignition at the time.

Lopez said he didn’t have the keys to the vehicle but then rummaged through his pockets and pulled out the keys, according to the report.

The deputy then asked Lopez for his driver’s license so he started rifling through his pockets again and this time pulled out a small green package labeled “Dank Gummies” with “cannabis-infused” written on it as well, records show.

The deputy asked if Lopez just pulled out THC gummies and Lopez claimed it was normal candy but when he was asked to hand over the package, the deputy saw that it was labeled as containing 500 mg of THC, according to authorities.

Deputies said Lopez also had a package of “Medicated Nerds ropes” that contained 400 mg of THC per rope.

Lopez claimed his girlfriend had a medical marijuana card due to a cancer diagnosis, according to the affidavit.

At that point, records show Lopez was taken into custody and a small baggie of cocaine was found on his person in addition to the THC-infused candies.

He’s facing charges of possession of cocaine and possession of a controlled substance.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2021/03/09/florida-man-pulls-out-dank-gummies-instead-of-id-after-nearly-hitting-gas-pump-deputies-say/#//
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 15, 2021, 06:02:02 pm
Cops Pop Florida Man After He Lies About The Bulge In His Pants
by Joe Kinsey
6 days ago   updated 6 days ago   

Florida man Michael Phillips, 20, had the perfect response when the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office asked him about the hard bulge in his pants as the 5-0 investigated a possible stolen car that he was riding in. “That’s my dick,” Phillips told police, according to a report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The cops did some further digging and found that Phillips had a Glock 23 with 22 rounds shoved down there with his dick. As TSG notes, that Glock checks in at a respectable 7.36 inches.

Phillips told cops the gun is “for protection,” and he appeared to be ready to protect himself as he had another clip loaded with 23 rounds in case things got crazy as he cruised around with 18-year-old Kyleigh Lynn Bartley, 19, who was arrested for grand theft auto. ... Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/cops-pop-florida-man-after-he-lies-about-the-bulge-in-his-pants/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 16, 2021, 10:49:27 pm
I hate to be the one to bring these stories to your attention, but here goes:
Quote
Florida Man Caught Publicly Jerking with Gherkin in His Behind, Say Police
Breitbart Texas
15 Mar 2021

A Tampa Bay area man was arrested for allegedly masturbating on private property with an “uneaten pickle” inserted in his rectum on Sunday afternoon.

Oldsmar Police in Pinellas County, Florida, accuse Eric L. Detiege, 47, of lying in the yard of a townhouse while pleasuring himself with one hand and a pickle in the other, according to an arrest complaint originally published by the Smoking Gun. The man faces a charge of Exposure of Sexual Organs, a misdemeanor in Florida. Detiege is reportedly being held in custody on a $150 bond.  ...
Rest of story at Brietbart (https://www.breitbart.com/border/2021/03/15/florida-man-caught-publicly-jerking-with-gherkin-in-his-behind-say-police/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3Q-TVM0kcIlp8kpofjiX4kAlaWt1pNOxXe4Tzn7BWFye-cMrTGjJRTPgU)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: berdie on March 19, 2021, 08:05:06 pm
I've been worried about Florida man during the Vid...looks like it was warranted.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on March 20, 2021, 05:32:08 pm
Eric L. Detiege,  full of intrigue
Used a gerkin while a jerkin.
When the cops took him away
he paused to say
he was just wanted to tickle
his gerbil with a pickle.


Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on March 20, 2021, 06:41:52 pm
Eric L. Detiege,  full of intrigue
Used a gerkin while a jerkin.
When the cops took him away
he paused to say
he was just wanted to tickle
his gerbil with a pickle.

That would have been no better with pictures.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on March 20, 2021, 06:41:54 pm
I've been worried about Florida man during the Vid...looks like it was warranted.

@berdie

If there is one thing you do NOT have to worry about,it is the survival of Florida Man. They are insanely tough. Can take enough drugs to paralyze a pack of gorillas,and wash it down with whiskey made from creek water run-off from a city,and wake up two days later wanting a snort and a drink.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 20, 2021, 08:04:56 pm
Florida man in motorized scooter exposes himself to shoppers at Walmart, police say
by Joseph Erickson
Friday, March 19th 2021
MyCBS4 (https://mycbs4.com/news/local/florida-man-in-motorized-scooter-exposes-himself-to-shoppers-at-walmart)

CHIEFLAND, Fla. — An 80-year-old man has been arrested for flashing shoppers at Walmart while riding in a motorized scooter.

Several witnesses told police that 80-year-old Hoyt Neeley had a hole in pants and exposed himself to shoppers while touching himself, police say. Victims had reported similar behavior from a man matching Neeley's description at the same Walmart in the past, but his identity was never confirmed. ...

(https://mycbs4.com/resources/media/378136f0-5994-4545-820b-06a48aeee09b-medium16x9_HoytNeeley.png?1616169461378)
Was that wrong?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on March 20, 2021, 09:56:58 pm
Florida man in motorized scooter exposes himself to shoppers at Walmart, police say
by Joseph Erickson
Friday, March 19th 2021
MyCBS4 (https://mycbs4.com/news/local/florida-man-in-motorized-scooter-exposes-himself-to-shoppers-at-walmart)

CHIEFLAND, Fla. — An 80-year-old man has been arrested for flashing shoppers at Walmart while riding in a motorized scooter.

Several witnesses told police that 80-year-old Hoyt Neeley had a hole in pants and exposed himself to shoppers while touching himself, police say. Victims had reported similar behavior from a man matching Neeley's description at the same Walmart in the past, but his identity was never confirmed. ...

(https://mycbs4.com/resources/media/378136f0-5994-4545-820b-06a48aeee09b-medium16x9_HoytNeeley.png?1616169461378)
Was that wrong?

Soooo...someone finally took a look at his face instead.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on March 21, 2021, 01:31:55 am
Soooo...someone finally took a look at his face instead.

And it's good they weren't near the Sporting Goods section.  That face is begging for a properly placed 9-Iron.  Yah.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on March 21, 2021, 01:50:16 am

Speaking from a loony Liberal point of view, his penis doesn't matter.
The most important thing is, 'Was he wearing a Mask!!'
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on March 21, 2021, 06:15:33 am
Speaking from a loony Liberal point of view, his penis doesn't matter.
The most important thing is, 'Was he wearing a Mask!!'

No shirt no shoes... Don't say nothing about pants...
So wear the mask and forget the pants.
I wonder how that would work out.  :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on March 21, 2021, 01:19:12 pm


CHIEFLAND, Fla. — An 80-year-old man has been arrested for flashing shoppers at Walmart while riding in a motorized scooter.



(https://mycbs4.com/resources/media/378136f0-5994-4545-820b-06a48aeee09b-medium16x9_HoytNeeley.png?1616169461378)
Was that wrong?

Only if they didn't sanitized that scooter.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on March 22, 2021, 12:56:11 pm
No shirt no shoes... Don't say nothing about pants...
So wear the mask and forget the pants.
I wonder how that would work out.  :shrug:
Years ago in Buffalo, near one of the colleges (I will not say which one) They had a sign that said "Men must be wearing pants at al times". I asekd the bartender what prompted that? He told me I wouldn't believe him if he told me.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on March 22, 2021, 02:34:30 pm
Years ago in Buffalo, near one of the colleges (I will not say which one) They had a sign that said "Men must be wearing pants at al times". I asekd the bartender what prompted that? He told me I wouldn't believe him if he told me.

It was a gag we played for a while. Never exactly indecorously... The point was made in more and ever more ridiculous boxers. But it was a fun thing to point out.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 06, 2021, 06:10:10 pm
Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/naked-florida-woman-goes-nuts-destroys-an-outback-steakhouse-gets-blasted-by-a-taser/)

(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/Tina-Kindred-Outback-video.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 06, 2021, 06:13:57 pm
Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/naked-florida-woman-goes-nuts-destroys-an-outback-steakhouse-gets-blasted-by-a-taser/)

(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/Tina-Kindred-Outback-video.png)

*SIGH* Sounds like just my kind... I wonder if @corbe has an ex living in FL...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: DB on June 06, 2021, 06:35:45 pm
She wasn't "naked"...

She was wearing shoes...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 06, 2021, 07:28:10 pm
Naked Florida Woman Goes Nuts, Destroys An Outback Steakhouse, Gets Blasted By A Taser
by Joe Kinsey
about 14 hours ago     updated about 2 hours ago   

Typically when a Florida Man or Florida Woman go nuts, they don’t get naked and tear up an Outback Steakhouse, but that’s exactly what a 53-year-old woman is accused of doing (it’s on video, she destroys a wall of liquor), according to the Ocala News. Police say Tina Kindred got naked at a restaurant called Mojo Grill and started banging on tables and windows. She then decided to start flipping tables and eventually tried to get into a customer’s car before fleeing to an Outback Steakhouse.

That’s where she was completely naked, on top of the bar and launching liquor bottles like she’s Aroldis Chapman coming out of the Yankees bullpen.  ...  More at Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/naked-florida-woman-goes-nuts-destroys-an-outback-steakhouse-gets-blasted-by-a-taser/)

(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/Tina-Kindred-Outback-video.png)

Friend of yours, @corbe?

(link to NSFW video at article)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 06, 2021, 08:34:51 pm
   I categorically deny that I have made this woman's acquaintance. @roamer_1 @Cyber Liberty She does sound like a lot of fun, though.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 06, 2021, 08:39:44 pm
   I categorically deny that I have made this woman's acquaintance. @roamer_1 @Cyber Liberty She does sound like a lot of fun, though.

Yeah...  :laugh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2700em-JQ

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 06, 2021, 09:05:39 pm
*SIGH* Sounds like just my kind... I wonder if @corbe has an ex living in FL...

@roamer_1 @corbe

I dunno,but if that look in her eyes doesn't scare you or Corbe,you are bolder men than I!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 06, 2021, 09:11:36 pm
@roamer_1 @corbe

I dunno,but if that look in her eyes doesn't scare you or Corbe,you are bolder men than I!

@sneakypete
I have the unfortunate instinct to be drawn to that... And usually redheaded too. And I know better.
Though mine would probably be wearing sh*tkickers and would still have a knife hidden away somewhere to poke at me with...  :shrug:

They're all a little crazy... Mine just in a particular way...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 06, 2021, 09:55:42 pm
   I don't remember looking into their eyes when they are nekid @sneakypete  Glad to have you back.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on June 06, 2021, 10:40:32 pm
Friend of yours, @corbe?

(link to NSFW video at article)

There are better ways of conveying to managment poor service.   :cool:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 06, 2021, 11:29:39 pm
There are better ways of conveying to managment poor service.   :cool:

Not from where I sit.  She was built better than I expected.  She does have that "overly attatched girlfriend" look.

(http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/500c2c8d8655366a6bb1642f875a6099)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 06, 2021, 11:46:49 pm
   Dated a few of those @Cyber Liberty It was certainly difficult, especially during the inevitable 'split'.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2021, 12:11:46 am
   I don't remember looking into their eyes when they are nekid @sneakypete  Glad to have you back.

@corbe  With those wimmins,once you spot the eyes,you then focus on the teeth and the hands. You don't want to get your throat chewed out,and you don't want to get shot or cut.

IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 07, 2021, 12:17:30 am
IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.

That's because their man, their daddy, their brothers (all eight of em), and their cousins, all got their backs. Not to mention Grandad that is respected in four counties, and Grandma, who knows everybody at every church and social in town, and her uncles that own the feedstore, the mechanic shop and the hardware store...

You can only mess with that gal so much, and after that, your whole life will come down on you, guaranteed.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2021, 12:20:23 am
That's because their man, their daddy, their brothers (all eight of em), and their cousins, all got their backs. Not to mention Grandad that is respected in four counties, and Grandma, who knows everybody at every church and social in town, and her uncles that own the feedstore, the mechanic shop and the hardware store...

You can only mess with that gal so much, and after that, your whole life will come down on you, guaranteed.

@roamer_1

And there it is!

The only thing you forgot to mention is her male relatives are just as afraid of her as you are because she will go after them too,if they piss her off.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 07, 2021, 12:26:40 am
   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2021, 12:34:00 am
   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete

@corbe

Not sure,but I THINK it was about the same time I stopped washing down my LSD with moonshine. That was a confusing time for me for some reason.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 07, 2021, 01:18:55 am
@roamer_1

And there it is!

The only thing you forgot to mention is her male relatives are just as afraid of her as you are because she will go after them too,if they piss her off.

@sneakypete

There are considerations...
Folks often conflate redneck and Southern... But I'll tell you what, this here sentiment works just the same for cowgirls and hilljillies out west, sure enough.

(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/05/ed/63/05ed631be6e312226a41a1a3e81ce945--southern-charm-southern-belle.jpg)

To save your eyeballs, that says "Southern Girls'... And then sommore sh*t I can't see...
Just a minute. I have my glasses here somewhere....
Ah, yas!

'Southern Girls... When you hear them say, "Ah, hell no!" You'd better run!

And that's a fact.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 07, 2021, 01:20:28 am
   When did 'I'm too old for this $hit' kick in for yall?
   Asking for a Friend?   @roamer_1 @sneakypete

My first 'date' as a divorced 50 something... And I ain't changed my mind about that yet.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 07, 2021, 10:05:44 pm
@corbe  With those wimmins,once you spot the eyes,you then focus on the teeth and the hands. You don't want to get your throat chewed out,and you don't want to get shot or cut.

IMNSHO,people pay too much attention to redneck men,who are mostly harmless unless pushed. Not so with redneck wimmins. May be the most dangerous creatures in the universe,and totally fearless.
:amen: We have had some redneck  fathers and mothers come into the school over the years. The men will call you an A$$hole, the women will want to rip out your liver by route of your throat. We have had to threaten 2-3 of them with restraining orders over the years.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 07, 2021, 11:52:22 pm
:amen: We have had some redneck  fathers and mothers come into the school over the years. The men will call you an A$$hole, the women will want to rip out your liver by route of your throat. We have had to threaten 2-3 of them with restraining orders over the years.

FYI. Up there where you are, for some reason there is a distinction between redneck and country. Everywhere else it's the same thing. Jussayin.

Though I have drug a principal or two over his desk in my time  happy77 ... No restraining orders though.. mostly because they know I know where they live.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 08, 2021, 12:13:26 pm
FYI. Up there where you are, for some reason there is a distinction between redneck and country. Everywhere else it's the same thing. Jussayin.

Though I have drug a principal or two over his desk in my time  happy77 ... No restraining orders though.. mostly because they know I know where they live.  :laugh:
There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: thackney on June 08, 2021, 12:15:38 pm
There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.

Not around these parts.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on June 08, 2021, 01:40:32 pm
There is a HUGE difference between Redneck and Country. Some of the difference has to do with alcohol, not the quantity consumed, but the time of day you begin to consume it. You can also add the number of tattoos and ex spouses as well.

nope. That's a north east thing only. Everywhere else that'd likely be called trailer trash or something like it.

Redneck is not a pejorative outside of your neck of the woods. Just letting you know, as when you spit the word redneck folks might be offended.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on August 03, 2021, 06:38:33 am

"Florida man, 76, jailed for performing botched CASTRATION on a man he met on eunuch fetish website

July 31, 2021"

https://hienalouca.com/2021/07/31/florida-man-76-jailed-for-performing-botched-castration-on-a-man-he-met-on-eunuch-fetish-website/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on August 03, 2021, 11:31:31 am
"Florida man, 76, jailed for performing botched CASTRATION on a man he met on eunuch fetish website

July 31, 2021"

https://hienalouca.com/2021/07/31/florida-man-76-jailed-for-performing-botched-castration-on-a-man-he-met-on-eunuch-fetish-website/


Well, that took balls!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 03, 2021, 12:59:46 pm
Quote
eunuch fetish website
What a world.  **nononono*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 03, 2021, 02:19:07 pm

...... eunuch fetish website

@dancer

I like to think I am not easily surprised,but this one managed it. It had never even occurred to me there would ever be such a thing.

Have these people never heard of hospitals?

The good news here is that pervert won't be passing THOSE genes down.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 03, 2021, 02:19:53 pm

Well, that took balls!

@Kamaji

Nice summation!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on August 03, 2021, 02:33:22 pm

Well, that took balls!

 :silly: :beer:

Nice.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 03, 2021, 02:38:52 pm
@dancer

I like to think I am not easily surprised,but this one managed it. It had never even occurred to me there would ever be such a thing.

Have these people never heard of hospitals?

The good news here is that pervert won't be passing THOSE genes down.
What I don't understand is three hours?
Anyone ever been to a calf branding knows that can be done in about 30 seconds.

That said, there are some sick puppies out there. :terror:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on August 03, 2021, 02:52:39 pm
What a world.  **nononono*

Obama's kind of site,
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 03, 2021, 03:16:24 pm
What I don't understand is three hours?
 

@Smokin Joe

He was having fun,and didn't want it to end.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 03, 2021, 03:26:42 pm
@Smokin Joe

He was having fun,and didn't want it to end.
There are some sick puppies out there. **nononono*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: dancer on August 15, 2021, 07:08:31 am

Well, that took balls!

Sure did!  LOL
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 08, 2021, 01:10:26 pm
Once again, Florida Woman steps up to the plate and hits a homer. Well, woman visiting Florida, anyway. Is there something in the water?
Quote
Naked woman, 28, drives golf cart into Florida standoff scene with armed suspect: reports
Dom Calicchio
Tue, September 7, 2021, 11:58 PM

A tense standoff between Florida authorities and an armed suspect became even more dangerous over the weekend when a naked 28-year-old woman suddenly drove into the crime scene on a golf cart, according to reports.

The woman, identified as Jessica Smith, from Boston, had "a distinct odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her person, and she was completely nude," an affidavit of the incident said, according to FOX 13 of Tampa Bay.

At the time, police in Dunedin had several Pinellas County sheriff’s office vehicles parked around the crime scene, the station reported. Smith allegedly drove past the law enforcement vehicles and into the area where authorities were confronting an armed 18-year-old suspect in what turned out to be a six-hour standoff, the report said.

Smith allegedly ignored officers’ demands that she leave the area, then later refused to get out of the golf cart when officers approached to arrest her. Sheriff’s deputies then pulled her from the cart and handcuffed her, the report said. ...
Yahoo News (https://www.yahoo.com/news/naked-woman-28-drives-golf-035800180.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on September 12, 2021, 06:34:30 pm
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/639557be70783eb45e11943edef77b7f584afee438361b9eca6fb132cbb1fcdd.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on September 12, 2021, 06:38:00 pm
Once again, Florida Woman steps up to the plate and hits a homer. Well, woman visiting Florida, anyway. Is there something in the water? Yahoo News (https://www.yahoo.com/news/naked-woman-28-drives-golf-035800180.html)

Miz. Smith:

(https://am23.mediaite.com/lc/cnt/uploads/2021/09/Jessica-Elisabeth-Smith-appears-in-a-mugshot.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on September 12, 2021, 08:04:07 pm
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/639557be70783eb45e11943edef77b7f584afee438361b9eca6fb132cbb1fcdd.jpg)
maybe he shat himself and she remembered how Mitt Romney dealt with a similar situation?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on September 13, 2021, 06:58:06 pm
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/639557be70783eb45e11943edef77b7f584afee438361b9eca6fb132cbb1fcdd.jpg)
One of the women in our dog rescue group posted a picture of one of her kids who had climbed into one of the dog crates. Dept of CPS were knockings on her door less than 24 hours later. Fortunately her husband one of the county Deputy Sheriffs, and about 80 of us testified that her kid climbed in there on their own.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 13, 2021, 09:55:10 pm
One of the women in our dog rescue group posted a picture of one of her kids who had climbed into one of the dog crates. Dept of CPS were knockings on her door less than 24 hours later. Fortunately her husband one of the county Deputy Sheriffs, and about 80 of us testified that her kid climbed in there on their own.

@verga

All they had to do was ask the kid,but it seems like there is nothing these days as uncommon as common sense.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 13, 2021, 10:13:30 pm
@verga

All they had to do was ask the kid,but it seems like there is nothing these days as uncommon as common sense.
That is the one time they will maintain the kid lied, supposedly because they were afraid of their parents.

If they accuse you, you are guilty, just ask them, and they can and will twist everything to make it look that way.

These people dodged a bullet hat rarely misses.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on February 23, 2022, 07:06:34 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aGzEBdz_460s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 24, 2022, 01:39:47 am
Good to see that Florida Man is back.

I was afraid he had been killed or put into prison.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on February 24, 2022, 05:57:37 am
Good to see that Florida Man is back.

I was afraid he had been killed or put into prison.
I thought he just move to DC by way of Delaware.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on February 24, 2022, 04:49:23 pm
I thought he just move to DC by way of Delaware.

@GtHawk

That is actually an insult to Florida Man,who isn't TRYING to hurt anyone,but just trying to have a good time.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on March 03, 2022, 01:16:36 am
It's the Murder Turtles.

Florida man threatened to destroy town with army of turtles: police

Quote
A self-proclaimed “saint” was arrested in a coastal Florida town Sunday after screaming obscenities and threatening to unleash an army of turtles, an arrest affidavit reportedly said.

Authorities received multiple calls about a man who was disturbing the peace at several businesses in Indialantic, a town about 75 miles southeast of Orlando, the affidavit said. The suspect, later identified as 61-year-old Thomas Devaney Lane, was calling himself “the saint” and allegedly said his army of turtles would “destroy everyone,” WKMG reported.

Lane accompanied a responding officer back to police headquarters where he pounded on the walls and glass before leaving the station, police said. Officers later found him in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven where he allegedly cursed out customers and called 911, Orlando's Fox 35 reported.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-threatening-to-destroy-town-with-army-of-turtles-police
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: DB on March 03, 2022, 01:18:07 am
You laugh now... Wait until you're knee deep in turtles...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 03, 2022, 02:39:40 am
You laugh now... Wait until you're knee deep in turtles...
I hope they aren't snapping turtles.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on March 03, 2022, 02:58:53 am
It's the Murder Turtles.

Florida man threatened to destroy town with army of turtles: police

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-threatening-to-destroy-town-with-army-of-turtles-police

@Cyber Liberty


Well,the good news is that even a crippled-up old geezer like me could run away from them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on March 03, 2022, 04:57:55 pm
@Cyber Liberty


Well,the good news is that even a crippled-up old geezer like me could run away from them.
@sneaky pete Sure yeah I would normally agree with you, but what if they were Teenage mutant ninja murder turtles? They are stealthy.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on March 03, 2022, 07:05:41 pm
@sneaky pete Sure yeah I would normally agree with you, but what if they were Teenage mutant ninja murder turtles? They are stealthy.

@verga

Not only am I also stealthy,but I carry a 44.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on March 06, 2022, 03:17:28 am
   Since @Texas Robin broke it I'm only carrying 13.97 cm.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on March 08, 2022, 02:02:16 am
Florida man gets naked, takes a dump on his neighbor's glass table.
https://www.fox13news.com/news/naked-florida-man-caught-on-camera-defecating-on-neighbors-porch-deputies-say
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: andy58-in-nh on March 08, 2022, 02:06:45 am
Florida man gets naked, takes a dump on his neighbor's glass table.
https://www.fox13news.com/news/naked-florida-man-caught-on-camera-defecating-on-neighbors-porch-deputies-say (https://www.fox13news.com/news/naked-florida-man-caught-on-camera-defecating-on-neighbors-porch-deputies-say)

The police certainly have a clear case against him.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on March 08, 2022, 02:07:58 am
The police certainly have a clear case against him.


:silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on March 08, 2022, 02:11:45 am
Is it just me,or is Florida Man slacking off?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on March 08, 2022, 02:24:53 am
Is it just me,or is Florida Man slacking off?


Too much competition from Bidet.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on March 08, 2022, 02:40:37 am
Guy goes to his psychologist wearing nothing but Saran Wrap.
Doc takes one look and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 30, 2022, 02:56:09 pm
Florida man arrested for allegedly burning Dallas lawyer alive in 2016
By Selim Algar   
April 28, 2022 2:29pm

A Florida man was arrested Wednesday for allegedly brutally burning a prominent Texas lawyer to death in 2016 — a case that became one of the Lone Star State’s highest-profile unsolved mysteries.

Steven Benton Aubrey, 61, beat attorney Ira Tobolowsky, 68, then doused him with gasoline and lit him on fire because he represented his mother in a bitter court case against him, cops charged.

Authorities said the longtime suspect was arrested for the crime which shook Dallas and will be extradited to Texas to face a capital murder charge.

Tobolowsky was representing Aubrey’s mother in an ugly dispute with her son over her late husband’s estate. ... NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/04/28/florida-man-arrested-for-allegedly-burning-dallas-lawyer-alive/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: DB on April 30, 2022, 03:18:48 pm
Florida man arrested for allegedly burning Dallas lawyer alive in 2016
By Selim Algar   
April 28, 2022 2:29pm

A Florida man was arrested Wednesday for allegedly brutally burning a prominent Texas lawyer to death in 2016 — a case that became one of the Lone Star State’s highest-profile unsolved mysteries.

Steven Benton Aubrey, 61, beat attorney Ira Tobolowsky, 68, then doused him with gasoline and lit him on fire because he represented his mother in a bitter court case against him, cops charged.

Authorities said the longtime suspect was arrested for the crime which shook Dallas and will be extradited to Texas to face a capital murder charge.

Tobolowsky was representing Aubrey’s mother in an ugly dispute with her son over her late husband’s estate. ... NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/04/28/florida-man-arrested-for-allegedly-burning-dallas-lawyer-alive/)

That's rare, a lawyer with actual skin in the game...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 30, 2022, 04:12:02 pm
That's rare, a lawyer with actual skin in the game...

Too bad he didn't get to keep it.  :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 12, 2022, 11:26:49 pm
Some Ukrainian-Floridians want to participate in the whole "Florida man" adventure.
Quote
Ukrainian family facing hate crimes charges in attack that left gay man blind in Pompano Beach, Florida
By B911 -
May 12, 2022

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – The Broward State Attorney’s Office filed hate crime charges on Tuesday against three individuals accused of severely beating a man based on his sexual orientation.

The victim, 31, of Pompano Beach, was severely beaten during an incident that occurred in the city on or about August 6, 2021. He has been permanently blinded and sustained other serious injuries as a result of the incident.

The suspects are Ukrainians Inna Makarenko, 44; Yevhen Makarenko, 43; and Oleh Makarenko, 21.

A fourth person, Vladyslav Makarenko, was transferred from Alabama to the Broward County jail system on Monday. Prosecutors are reviewing the case against him and formal charges have not been filed at this time. ...
Breaking911 (https://breaking911.com/ukrainian-family-facing-hate-crimes-charges-in-attack-that-left-gay-man-blind-in-pompano-beach-florida/)

(https://breaking911.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/cbsn-fusion-prosecutors-3-face-hate-crimes-charges-in-attack-on-gay-man-thumbnail-960217-640x360-1-696x365.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mystery-ak on May 30, 2022, 09:01:07 pm
18-Year-Old Florida Man Arrested for Posting Photo With Guns With Caption ‘Hey Siri, Directions to the Nearest School’
By Cassandra Fairbanks
Published May 30, 2022 at 1:15pm

An 18-year-old Florida man has been arrested for “threatening to conduct a mass shooting or act of terrorism.”

Corey Anderson, 18, of Lutz, had posted images of himself with what appeared to be a handgun, a rifle, and a tactical style vest — along with the caption “Hey Siri, directions to the nearest school.”

He was arrested at his home on Sunday after someone called in a tip to law enforcement.

After further investigation, detectives from the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office determined the handgun and rifle were “airsoft guns,” according to a press release.

“This type of threat is unacceptable. This man intentionally instilled fear into our community as a sick joke, but be warned, this is no laughing matter,” said Sheriff Chad Chronister in a statement. “We will do everything within our power to apprehend, and pursue charges on those who make school-based threats.”

“Protecting students is our greatest priority. We take school threats very seriously, if you see something suspicious, please contact us immediately,” Chronister added.

The teenager’s bond was set at $7,500 and he was no longer listed in custody as of Monday.

more
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2022/05/18-year-old-florida-man-arrested-posting-photo-guns-caption-hey-siri-directions-nearest-school/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 30, 2022, 10:01:23 pm
Clearly, "Florida Man" worthy.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on June 06, 2022, 01:28:42 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aLvVRKv_700b.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 06, 2022, 04:49:54 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aLvVRKv_700b.jpg)
Some days it has to be qa real toss up if articles like this go in "Florida Man" or Ridiculous news of the day".
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 06, 2022, 05:37:37 pm
Some days it has to be qa real toss up if articles like this go in "Florida Man" or Ridiculous news of the day".

@verga

It's a good "fit" for both,so it doesn't matter.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 06, 2022, 06:30:08 pm
Some days it has to be qa real toss up if articles like this go in "Florida Man" or Ridiculous news of the day".

I would not consider it to be spam if you were to post something on both threads....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 09, 2022, 02:14:45 am
(https://www.sofmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/image-3-3.jpg)

                  I hope this Florida Man is Running.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on June 10, 2022, 01:48:07 am
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/ay9Z4VY_460s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 10, 2022, 06:49:34 am
Florida man arrested for allegedly burning Dallas lawyer alive in 2016
By Selim Algar   
April 28, 2022 2:29pm

A Florida man was arrested Wednesday for allegedly brutally burning a prominent Texas lawyer to death in 2016 — a case that became one of the Lone Star State’s highest-profile unsolved mysteries.

Steven Benton Aubrey, 61, beat attorney Ira Tobolowsky, 68, then doused him with gasoline and lit him on fire because he represented his mother in a bitter court case against him, cops charged.

Authorities said the longtime suspect was arrested for the crime which shook Dallas and will be extradited to Texas to face a capital murder charge.

Tobolowsky was representing Aubrey’s mother in an ugly dispute with her son over her late husband’s estate. ... NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/04/28/florida-man-arrested-for-allegedly-burning-dallas-lawyer-alive/)
Idiot did it bass-ackwards, you light the attorney on fire and then you beat the fire out.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 10, 2022, 05:33:15 pm
Idiot did it bass-ackwards, you light the attorney on fire and then you beat the fire out.
I wonder if he will use the "Your honor, some people just need killin." defense.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 10, 2022, 07:37:34 pm
I wonder if he will use the "Your honor, some people just need killin." defense.
:pondering: Risky, the jury may agree and give him the :reaper: penalty.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 11, 2022, 01:36:03 pm
Quote
Florida woman, 48, on trial for murdering her former NBA executive husband, 65, 'scrolled through DATING APP while he lay on the ground bleeding to death': She originally said he had a heart attack before claiming he stabbed himself

    Danielle Redlick, 48, is accused of fatally stabbing then 65-year-old husband Michael on January 12, 2019. The two had been married 15 years
    An attorney alleged in court Thursday that Michael, a former NBA executive, was found in a pool of his own blood on the family's kitchen
    Redlick was surrounded by blood-soaked towels, a mop, cleaning product and a bucket of water that had turned pink
    Opening statements Thursday gave the jurors a choice as attorneys for Danielle Redlick said that she acted in self-defense
    Danielle has already rejected a plea deal to admit to manslaughter and face 10 years in prison. If convicted of murder, she would serve life in prison

By Stephen M. Lepore For Dailymail.Com
Published: 23:37 EDT, 10 June 2022 | Updated: 02:40 EDT, 11 June 2022

A Florida woman standing trial for allegedly murdering her husband is accused of going through Tinder while he bled to death on the floor.

Danielle Redlick, 48, is accused of fatally stabbing then 65-year-old husband Michael on January 12, 2019. The two had been married 15 years, according to The Daily Beast.

Assistant State Attorney Sean Wiggins alleged in court Thursday that Michael, a former NBA executive, was found in a pool of his own blood on the family's kitchen floor surrounded by blood-soaked towels, a mop, cleaning product and a bucket of water that had turned pink.  ...
Daily Mail (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10905925/Florida-woman-scrolled-dating-app-husband-lay-ground-bleeding-death.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on June 11, 2022, 03:35:08 pm
Daily Mail (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10905925/Florida-woman-scrolled-dating-app-husband-lay-ground-bleeding-death.html)
A Florida woman standing trial for allegedly murdering her husband is accused of going through Tinder while he bled to death on the floor.

Somebody help me out here. Is scrolling through tinder going to be considered a separate crime? If she is convicted will the sentences be concurrent or consecutive?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on June 11, 2022, 07:08:03 pm
A Florida woman standing trial for allegedly murdering her husband is accused of going through Tinder while he bled to death on the floor.

Somebody help me out here. Is scrolling through tinder going to be considered a separate crime? If she is convicted will the sentences be concurrent or consecutive?
Go back through her history. Maybe there are other victims...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 12, 2022, 12:47:54 am
Go back through her history. Maybe there are other victims...
No it's crazier than that, the victim met her while he was dating her mother, and after her mother died they grew close and married. Interesting stuff in the article.

A friend told an arrest affidavit for Danielle that Michael and his wife briefly lived in separate homes but he moved back in just a month before the stabbing.

Michael supposedly joked to the friend that Danielle 'is crazy but as long as I hide the steak knives everything will be fine.'
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on June 12, 2022, 04:21:39 pm
    I can relate.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on June 26, 2022, 05:58:43 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a8190VQ_460s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 01, 2022, 10:55:19 am
Florida man says ‘spirits’ told him to set boss’s future home on fire

By Patrick Reilly
July 1, 2022

A Florida man was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly he was caught on camera setting his boss’s future home on fire because “spirits” told him to.

Thanh Ha, 54, was caught on multiple surveillance cameras approaching a home under construction in St. Petersburg on his bicycle just before noon on May 3. He locked the bike to a stop sign before entering the home, trying to cover his face with his clothing, according to arrest documents obtained by WFLA.

About five minutes later, Ha was taped running outside of the home, unlocking the bike and speeding away.

Prospective buyers of the home identified Ha as one of their employees, according to documents.

Police said that Ha admitted to starting the fire not because he was upset with his employer, but “because ‘spirits’ told him to,” officers wrote.

*  *  *

Source:  https://nypost.com/2022/07/01/florida-man-thanh-ha-sets-his-bosss-home-on-fire/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on July 01, 2022, 07:41:52 pm
Florida man says ‘spirits’ told him to set boss’s future home on fire

By Patrick Reilly
July 1, 2022

A Florida man was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly he was caught on camera setting his boss’s future home on fire because “spirits” told him to.

Thanh Ha, 54, was caught on multiple surveillance cameras approaching a home under construction in St. Petersburg on his bicycle just before noon on May 3. He locked the bike to a stop sign before entering the home, trying to cover his face with his clothing, according to arrest documents obtained by WFLA.

About five minutes later, Ha was taped running outside of the home, unlocking the bike and speeding away.

Prospective buyers of the home identified Ha as one of their employees, according to documents.

Police said that Ha admitted to starting the fire not because he was upset with his employer, but “because ‘spirits’ told him to,” officers wrote.

*  *  *

Source:  https://nypost.com/2022/07/01/florida-man-thanh-ha-sets-his-bosss-home-on-fire/
Which spirits, rum, vodka, whiskey or fruit of the vine?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on July 01, 2022, 08:33:38 pm
Which spirits, rum, vodka, whiskey or fruit of the vine?

I'm thinking Absinthe.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 08, 2022, 12:31:40 pm
Florida man loses pants while being chased by cops in hours-long manhunt

By Patrick Reilly
July 8, 2022

A suspect lost his pants while he was being chased by Florida police but kept the manhunt up for hours longer completely in the nude, cops said.

Police responded to a home in Branford on July 2 to a residence where 50-year-old Jesse Lamb, of Gainesville, was reportedly refusing to leave, according to the Suwannee County Sheriff’s Office.

While cops were on their way, they learned that Lamb had an active warrant out for failing to appear in court in 2021 for driving with a suspended license.

When cops arrived at the residence, they spotted Lamb sprinting from the back of the residence towards the Suwannee River in nothing but a pair of shorts. Deputies chased him until he jumped in the river and began swimming towards a floating dock, which he hid under.

Officers demanded that Lamb come out from below the dock, he did, but swam away again, according to the sheriff’s office.

*  *  *

Source:  https://nypost.com/2022/07/08/florida-man-jesse-lamb-flees-nude-from-police-in-hours-long-manhunt/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 08, 2022, 12:56:04 pm
To protect and swerve: Drunk and slurring Florida cop is caught driving his police cruiser in full uniform with an open beer while nearly five times the legal limit

By TOM BROWN FOR MAILONLINE
8 July 2022

A Florida office has been caught drunk on the job after his colleagues found him swerving down the high street.

Oscar Mayorga, 25, of the Apopka Police Department had to be pulled over when a local resident saw the police cruiser running stop signs and called the cops.

Fellow officers arrived and asked Mayorga to roll down the window, catching a whiff of booze when he complied.

Slurring his speech, Mayorga told the officers he was on his way to work, despite the fact that he'd already started his shift.

At first, he said he'd taken three benadryl, medication used to treat allergies and insomnia, two hours ago.

But he'd forgotten about the open beer can in the center cup holder which the other officers spotted.

*  *  *

Source:  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10994407/To-protect-swerve-Drunk-Florida-cop-caught-driving-nearly-five-times-legal-limit.html
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 08, 2022, 02:57:06 pm
Naked Florida man climbs onto big rig, throws highway into chaos

By Selim Algar
July 7, 2022

It was full monty Frogger.

A nude man threw a Florida commute into chaos last week after he scampered across several highway lanes and hopped on the bed of a semi-trailer, according to a report.

Startled Sarasota drivers stopped to observe the mayhem on Interstate 75 at about 4 p.m. on June 30 and posted footage of the incident to social media.

(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/07/naked-man-highway-sarasota-2.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=623)

*  *  *

Source:  https://nypost.com/2022/07/07/naked-florida-man-climbs-onto-big-rig-on-busy-highway/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 08, 2022, 02:57:20 pm
A bumper crop of Florida Man escapades!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on July 08, 2022, 03:08:52 pm
Nude? He was wearing socks and shoes!  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 08, 2022, 03:16:12 pm
Nude? He was wearing socks and shoes!  :whistle:

You're right!!

:silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on July 08, 2022, 03:29:13 pm
Nude? He was wearing socks and shoes!  :whistle:

Have you ever stepped on hot Florida pavement in the summer?   333cleo 333cleo 333cleo 333cleo
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on July 08, 2022, 03:35:02 pm
No shirt
No shoes
No service...

They never say anything about pants.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on July 11, 2022, 06:59:03 pm
(http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/when-you-see-Florida-man-memes.jpeg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on July 30, 2022, 07:43:33 pm
Florida man arrested after throwing glass eye at doctor and nurse, police say

LARGO, Florida – A Florida man is accused of using his glass eye to assault a doctor and a nurse over the weekend.

Police first arrested 54-year-old Edward Michael Dorsey around 10:45 a.m. Sunday morning, October 30th on suspicion of domestic battery, according to WTSP.

Before taking him to the Pinellas County jail for processing, however, officers stopped at Largo Medical Center to have him evaluated. While inside the emergency room, Dorsey allegedly pulled out his glass eye and hurled it at a doctor and nurse.

More:  https://www.fox6now.com/news/florida-man-arrested-after-throwing-glass-eye-at-doctor-and-nurse-police-say
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on July 30, 2022, 08:03:31 pm
Florida man arrested after throwing glass eye at doctor and nurse, police say

LARGO, Florida – A Florida man is accused of using his glass eye to assault a doctor and a nurse over the weekend.

Police first arrested 54-year-old Edward Michael Dorsey around 10:45 a.m. Sunday morning, October 30th on suspicion of domestic battery, according to WTSP.

Before taking him to the Pinellas County jail for processing, however, officers stopped at Largo Medical Center to have him evaluated. While inside the emergency room, Dorsey allegedly pulled out his glass eye and hurled it at a doctor and nurse.

More:  https://www.fox6now.com/news/florida-man-arrested-after-throwing-glass-eye-at-doctor-and-nurse-police-say
He's just keeping an eye out for them...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on July 30, 2022, 08:04:41 pm
"Don't be eyeballing me boy"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on July 30, 2022, 08:16:19 pm
Florida man arrested after throwing glass eye at doctor and nurse, police say

LARGO, Florida – A Florida man is accused of using his glass eye to assault a doctor and a nurse over the weekend.

Police first arrested 54-year-old Edward Michael Dorsey around 10:45 a.m. Sunday morning, October 30th on suspicion of domestic battery, according to WTSP.

Before taking him to the Pinellas County jail for processing, however, officers stopped at Largo Medical Center to have him evaluated. While inside the emergency room, Dorsey allegedly pulled out his glass eye and hurled it at a doctor and nurse.

More:  https://www.fox6now.com/news/florida-man-arrested-after-throwing-glass-eye-at-doctor-and-nurse-police-say
Just couldn't se eye to eye.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 12, 2022, 08:23:31 pm
Florida Man Arrested For Putting On A Helmet & Charging Headfirst Into A 9-Year-Old At A Youth Football Practice
by Sean Joseph
 about 2 hours ago   

Youth football is a wild game these days. Not so much the play on the field, but all of the adults surrounding the game have lost their minds.

Anything can happen at anytime. A Florida man proved that last month at a youth football practice when he took out some anger on a 9-year-old.

The man is said to have put on a helmet and charged headfirst at a 9-year-old boy. After hitting the boy in the chest the man pushed the kid to the ground.

David Alan Taylor, 41, was arrested last month in Pensacola. Police say that his son was taking part in a one-on-one tackling drill with another player. He became upset when his son was overpowered by the other child and started crying.

According to witnesses that’s when Taylor decided to take matters into his own hands.  ...
(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/youth-football-arrest.jpg)
Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/florida-man-arrested-for-putting-on-a-helmet-charging-headfirst-into-a-9-year-old-at-a-youth-football-practice/?fbclid=IwAR19b44-3-9gCZqI5m10HCr5ZMgYEeHjTPZywjv_yRwRvyWV6tE0RdHKiwE)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: corbe on October 12, 2022, 10:53:48 pm
   I'm torn between two dynamically opposed theories on why I don't like this Thread.

   (1) It's unfair to Floridians

   (2) Yet, it's the only place I can keep up on what @Wingnut is capable of
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 12, 2022, 11:19:20 pm
Florida Man Arrested For Putting On A Helmet & Charging Headfirst Into A 9-Year-Old At A Youth Football Practice
by Sean Joseph
 about 2 hours ago   

Youth football is a wild game these days. Not so much the play on the field, but all of the adults surrounding the game have lost their minds.

Anything can happen at anytime. A Florida man proved that last month at a youth football practice when he took out some anger on a 9-year-old.

The man is said to have put on a helmet and charged headfirst at a 9-year-old boy. After hitting the boy in the chest the man pushed the kid to the ground.

David Alan Taylor, 41, was arrested last month in Pensacola. Police say that his son was taking part in a one-on-one tackling drill with another player. He became upset when his son was overpowered by the other child and started crying.

According to witnesses that’s when Taylor decided to take matters into his own hands.  ...
(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/youth-football-arrest.jpg)
Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/florida-man-arrested-for-putting-on-a-helmet-charging-headfirst-into-a-9-year-old-at-a-youth-football-practice/?fbclid=IwAR19b44-3-9gCZqI5m10HCr5ZMgYEeHjTPZywjv_yRwRvyWV6tE0RdHKiwE)
When I was growing up and playing sports in the fifties and sixties, it was rare to see any grownup watching his kid play.
I played city rec baseball for three years. You rarely saw any adults watching. Of course the games were always played in the early afternoon when most dads were working. Then again my parents had little to no interest in what I did as far as athletics. They only cared that you didn't get into trouble.
It was only the Boomer generation parents who were expected to go watch their kids play.
I remember going to a basketball game some decades ago with my sister, her husband, and his brother and wife to watch my niece play a freshman game. My sister, her husband, and her in-laws made asses out of themselves shouting at the refs the whole game whenever a call didn't go for my niece's team. The kicker of course is that my sister was pretty much an ignoramus about basketball.
I liked the sign I saw at a city youth baseball game in Texas watching my younger brother play many decades ago.  The sign said that anybody in the stands shouting at the umpires would be removed from the premises. The crowd was fairly quiet during the game simply clapping and cheering when their team did good.
All gyms and athletic fields where kids play should have that rule.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on October 13, 2022, 12:49:36 am
Florida Man Arrested For Putting On A Helmet & Charging Headfirst Into A 9-Year-Old At A Youth Football Practice
by Sean Joseph
 about 2 hours ago   

Youth football is a wild game these days. Not so much the play on the field, but all of the adults surrounding the game have lost their minds.

Anything can happen at anytime. A Florida man proved that last month at a youth football practice when he took out some anger on a 9-year-old.

The man is said to have put on a helmet and charged headfirst at a 9-year-old boy. After hitting the boy in the chest the man pushed the kid to the ground.

David Alan Taylor, 41, was arrested last month in Pensacola. Police say that his son was taking part in a one-on-one tackling drill with another player. He became upset when his son was overpowered by the other child and started crying.

According to witnesses that’s when Taylor decided to take matters into his own hands.  ...
(https://www.outkick.com/wp-content/uploads/youth-football-arrest.jpg)
Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/florida-man-arrested-for-putting-on-a-helmet-charging-headfirst-into-a-9-year-old-at-a-youth-football-practice/?fbclid=IwAR19b44-3-9gCZqI5m10HCr5ZMgYEeHjTPZywjv_yRwRvyWV6tE0RdHKiwE)
I was never sports/ athletically minded. My parents never pushed me to be involved in little league. I remember going to se my neighbor play and so many (not all) of the parents acting like idiots. I asked my father about it when I got home. He told me little league was invented for the parents so they could feel better about their own lack of athletic ability. I nev er forgot that and it was over 50 years ago.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 13, 2022, 02:05:01 am
I was never sports/ athletically minded. My parents never pushed me to be involved in little league. I remember going to se my neighbor play and so many (not all) of the parents acting like idiots. I asked my father about it when I got home. He told me little league was invented for the parents so they could feel better about their own lack of athletic ability. I nev er forgot that and it was over 50 years ago.
I had a good friend (who unfortunately died earlier this year) who invested a lot of time and emotion watching his only boy play sports.
His kid was not a bad player in basketball and baseball, but he was no superstar.
When his kid was a senior in high school he had a chance to start on the school basketball team. But since he sat on the bench early in the season my friend encouraged him to quit.
One of the starters got injured, and my friend's kid would have been a starter. But he quit with help from my friend.
My friend thought his kid was a superstar who was being wronged by the coach. I didn't have the guts to tell my friend that his kid wasn't nearly as good as he thought he was.
I guess that kind of dad thinking is behind many parents going berserk watching their kids play. They think their kid is a lot better than he actually is. As someone who helped coach grade school basketball for four years, I know that to be a fact.
And I remember reading the words of a person who ran a top flight basketball camp for some of the nation's best high school basketball players. The guy had to laugh at the parents of players who were big fish in small ponds but outclassed when playing against the nation's best players. They simply couldn't grasp that their kid wasn't nearly as good as they thought he was. They'd ask the guy who ran the camps why their kid simply couldn't do as well as he did back home. The guy had to tell them the truth about their kid, and many simply couldn't accept it.
I don't know what the solution is to parents who go crazy watching their kids play ball. I wouldn't want to prevent parents from watching their children play. Many children want their parents to watch them play.
I didn't give a rip when I played because nobody else had their parents watching them.
But examples like the Florida guy are too common. Something should be done.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on November 03, 2022, 07:14:42 pm
Florida man arrested for allegedly wandering around car dealership with rifle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu8wssjb3CA&ab_channel=cdent


According to a news release from Naples Police Department, on Friday just after 4 p.m., officers received a 911 call about a person walking around the Naples Jaguar dealership with a rifle and a camouflage tarp. NPD later identified the person as Micah Weiss Bennett. Bennett allegedly approached multiple employees as well as customers while having a rifle in his hand, which led to “mass panic at the dealership.” NPD said both employees and customers ran from the area in fear for their lives.

When officers arrived at the dealership, they noticed Bennett driving away in his truck, so they conducted a traffic stop and took him into custody, NPD said.

https://www.wftv.com/news/trending/florida-man-arrested-allegedly-wandering-around-car-dealership-with-rifle/OY4VYNIXERFL7LEB7B3GKQOZGY/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 06, 2022, 10:28:22 pm
Florida man busted for public sex with dog, wrecking church nativity scene
By Selim Algar   
December 6, 2022 4:06pm
Quote
A Florida man went on a deranged rampage in which he had sex with dog in front of horrified families — and then destroyed a church nativity while trying to escape from the angry onlookers, police said.

Chad Mason, 36, allegedly began his sick crime spree while walking a friend’s labradoodle Friday in a quiet neighborhood in Clearwater, police said.

At one point, he began fornicating with the animal in full view of several spectators — including a child, according to Fox 13.

An adult confronted him during the act and he ran toward nearby Northwood Presbyterian Church, where he toppled a Christmas nativity scene and smashed several potted plants that had been put out for display. ...
NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/12/06/florida-man-busted-for-public-sex-with-dog-wrecking-church-nativity-scene/)
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/12/chad-mason-featured.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)
Was that wrong?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on December 07, 2022, 12:58:10 pm
Florida man busted for public sex with dog, wrecking church nativity scene
By Selim Algar   
December 6, 2022 4:06pm NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/12/06/florida-man-busted-for-public-sex-with-dog-wrecking-church-nativity-scene/)
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/12/chad-mason-featured.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)
Was that wrong?
Shoot is @$$
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on December 07, 2022, 04:13:47 pm
Shoot is @$$
Gender shift him!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on December 07, 2022, 04:51:02 pm
Gender shift him!

With a dull pocket knife.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: rangerrebew on December 13, 2022, 04:10:50 pm
Florida Man Had Sex With Dog In Public, Destroyed Church Nativity Display During Crime Spree, Police Say

Holly Matkin
December 11, 2022
Clearwater, FL – An Orlando man was arrested Sunday for allegedly having sex with a dog in front of a child and multiple adults, then wrecking a church nativity display and attempting to steal a vehicle.

Clearwater police responded to an apartment complex located in the 2600-block of McMullen Booth Road at approximately 4:30 p.m. on Dec. 4 after 36-year-old Chad Mason allegedly began having sex with a goldendoodle outside the building while taking it out for a walk, WTVT reported.

The incident was witnessed by multiple adults and a child who is less than 16 years old, according to police.

When he was confronted by one of the witnesses, Mason took off running and started to “wreak havoc in the surrounding areas,” according to court documents.

https://policetribune.com/florida-man-had-sex-with-dog-in-public-destroyed-church-nativity-display-during-crime-spree-police-say/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: rangerrebew on December 13, 2022, 04:17:33 pm
If this had happened in NYC or San Fransicko, the guy would already be walking the streets. :headbang:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on December 14, 2022, 01:02:36 am
If this had happened in NYC or San Fransicko, the guy would already be walking the streets. :headbang:

@rangerrebew

He IS out and walking the streets.

Seems as he didn't even get a psychiatric hold and interview before being released.

Am I the only one hoping he picks a Doberman next?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on December 14, 2022, 12:59:09 pm
@rangerrebew

He IS out and walking the streets.

Seems as he didn't even get a psychiatric hold and interview before being released.

Am I the only one hoping he picks a Doberman next?
@sneakypete Dobie, Pitti, Rottie. I would be good with any of them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on January 16, 2023, 12:20:25 pm
Florida man celebrates Jaguars' improbable comeback win at local Waffle House. Film at 11.

https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2023/01/15/jaguars-quarterback-trevor-lawrence-celebrates-epic-comeback-win-at-waffle-house/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 16, 2023, 04:37:09 pm
Florida man celebrates Jaguars' improbable comeback win at local Waffle House. Film at 11.

https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2023/01/15/jaguars-quarterback-trevor-lawrence-celebrates-epic-comeback-win-at-waffle-house/

No brawl?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: ChemEngrMBA on January 20, 2023, 02:10:52 pm
Florida man busted for public sex with dog, wrecking church nativity scene
By Selim Algar   
December 6, 2022 4:06pm NY Post (https://nypost.com/2022/12/06/florida-man-busted-for-public-sex-with-dog-wrecking-church-nativity-scene/)
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/12/chad-mason-featured.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)
Was that wrong?

Democrats need to get behind this bestiality crap and add a new letter to their long list of mental illnesses/perversions.
If men can stick their schlongs up other men's asses, why not animals?  What's it to you?
In the privacy of their own sheds, and all that....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 20, 2023, 08:12:00 pm
Florida man celebrates Jaguars' improbable comeback win at local Waffle House. Film at 11.

https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2023/01/15/jaguars-quarterback-trevor-lawrence-celebrates-epic-comeback-win-at-waffle-house/

@Wingnut

I don't get the outrage.

What's wrong with a Waffle House?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 21, 2023, 06:49:43 am
Democrats need to get behind this bestiality crap and add a new letter to their long list of mental illnesses/perversions.
If men can stick their schlongs up other men's asses, why not animals?  What's it to you?
In the privacy of their own sheds, and all that....
They already have a 'B' in that alphabet soup, and 'Be' is the chemical symbol for Beryllium...  I'd bet it isn't just guys messing around with critters, either.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on January 21, 2023, 04:13:24 pm
They already have a 'B' in that alphabet soup, and 'Be' is the chemical symbol for Beryllium...  I'd bet it isn't just guys messing around with critters, either.

I don't know which disturbs me more.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 21, 2023, 10:57:43 pm
I don't know which disturbs me more.
I am reminded Trump made animal abuse a Felony...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on January 30, 2023, 12:37:13 am
(https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/1430648443933020170-png__700.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 30, 2023, 02:48:55 am
(https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/1430648443933020170-png__700.jpg)
I would have had my butt spanked for that. Bone and cartilage (if that) would be all that was left...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: verga on January 30, 2023, 05:48:43 pm
(https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/1430648443933020170-png__700.jpg)
That is a sine, there is a very special p[lace in hell for people like that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on January 31, 2023, 07:29:54 am
That is a sine, there is a very special p[lace in hell for people like that.
My Dad would have spanked me.
"Something died that you could eat. Respect it enough to not waste any of it."
That respect carries on to this day, especially if I am hunting or fishing.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on January 31, 2023, 09:08:16 am
My Dad would have spanked me.
"Something died that you could eat. Respect it enough to not waste any of it."
That respect carries on to this day, especially if I am hunting or fishing.

YEP. Use it all.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 13, 2023, 10:51:27 pm
Quote
Naked Florida man walking down busy street tells police he's from a 'different earth'
by GARY DETMAN | WPEC StaffMon, March 13th 2023, 2:00 PM EDT

PALM BEACH, Fla. (WPEC) — A man accused of walking down the street naked in Palm Beach, Fla. told police he's from a "different earth."

Police arrested 44-year-old Jason Smith on charges of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.

The ordeal began when an employee from Taboo called the police on Wednesday to say a naked man had just walked past the restaurant on Worth Avenue, in view of a number of customers. When police arrived, bystanders quickly pointed out the man to officers.

Smith told police he didn't know where he left his clothes. Police said he refused to give his name or date of birth.  ...

According to the arrest report, Smith told police he resided on a different earth, He later told police he lived in West Palm Beach. ...
https://thenationaldesk.com/news/from-the-desk/naked-florida-man-walking-down-busy-street-tells-police-hes-from-a-different-earth-taboo-nightclub-jason-smith-nude-dude-palm-beach-county-jail-eww-gross

I'm not familiar enough with W. Palm Beach to know whether it truly is a different earth, or just a different city.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on March 14, 2023, 01:47:38 pm
Quote
When police arrived, bystanders quickly pointed out the man to officers.

They figured he wasn't out collecting for the Red Cross.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: DB on March 16, 2023, 04:28:57 am
https://thenationaldesk.com/news/from-the-desk/naked-florida-man-walking-down-busy-street-tells-police-hes-from-a-different-earth-taboo-nightclub-jason-smith-nude-dude-palm-beach-county-jail-eww-gross

I'm not familiar enough with W. Palm Beach to know whether it truly is a different earth, or just a different city.

How can they assume he was a "man"? "Women" can have ding dongs these days according to the experts...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 22, 2023, 11:05:04 pm
Was that wrong?
Quote
Florida Man Arrested After Allegedly Slapping A Woman With A Slice Of Pizza
by Sean Joseph
March 22, 2023, 2:04 pm   

A Florida man was arrested last week after he allegedly slapped a woman in the face with a slice of pizza. The man slapped the woman during an argument that started after she spanked a child.

Officers from the Marion County Sheriff’s Office showed up to the home of 39-year-old Ortelio Lazaro Alfonso on Friday after receiving a 911 hang-up call. When they arrived a woman told them an argument had taken place after she disciplined a child in the home by striking his “bottom area.”

The spanking didn’t sit well with Alfonso. The argument escalated to the point that he allegedly slapped the woman in the face with a slice of pizza. Everyone knows you combat spankings with pizza slaps.

Police found pizza sauce on the woman’s shirt, as well as on her collar and on the back of her shirt. In addition to the sauce, “remnants of pizza” were reportedly found in the woman’s hair and around her ear. Deputies also found pizza sauce on the walls and the ceiling in the kitchen. ...
Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/florida-man-arrested-after-allegedly-slapping-a-woman-with-a-slice-of-pizza/?fbclid=IwAR1R2UnPnSr6xPIgkSHNwvxYAUXFaKFKTtnTeS9wYGDc0NCCO7fYdPHjvvM)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on March 22, 2023, 11:08:12 pm
Was that wrong?Outkick (https://www.outkick.com/florida-man-arrested-after-allegedly-slapping-a-woman-with-a-slice-of-pizza/?fbclid=IwAR1R2UnPnSr6xPIgkSHNwvxYAUXFaKFKTtnTeS9wYGDc0NCCO7fYdPHjvvM)

Ney York or Detroit style pizza?  Since it was FL prolly Little Caesar's.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on March 22, 2023, 11:10:42 pm
That Detroit style pizza probably could hurt a person.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Kamaji on April 13, 2023, 02:21:02 pm
Florida Man seems to be behaving himself as of late.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 13, 2023, 05:31:33 pm
Florida Man seems to be behaving himself as of late.

He moved back to California.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 13, 2023, 07:20:01 pm
Naah, Florida Man is alive and well.
Quote
Florida man arrested after wife hit with flying chicken wings
Steve Owen , Assistant News Director
Published: April 11, 2023 at 10:19 AM
Updated: April 11, 2023 at 2:38 PM

WILDWOOD, Fla. – A Florida man has been arrested after police say he threw chicken wings at his wife during an argument.

Police said they responded to a disturbance call at a home in Wildwood on Sunday night. ... According to the suspect’s arrest report, the victim told police that, “the defendant and her had been arguing over the defendant having a ‘lover’”.

The victim said, “the defendant threw the wings at her, with some hitting her on her shoulder and under her chin,” the report stated.

Officers at the scene said they saw chicken wing sauce on the victim’s chin, neck and shoulder....
https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2023/04/11/florida-man-arrested-after-wife-hit-with-flying-chicken-wings/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 13, 2023, 07:21:39 pm
Quote
Shirtless Florida man found climbing tree ‘like Tarzan’ after police chase
by: Rachel Tucker   
Posted: Apr 13, 2023 / 10:42 AM EDT   
Updated: Apr 13, 2023 / 12:05 PM EDT   

PORT ORANGE, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida man was found hiding in a tree on Tuesday, two hours after allegedly fleeing Port Orange police.

Jonathan Kiser, 33, was accused of speeding away from police during an attempted traffic stop, according to a Facebook post from the Port Orange Police Department.

Police used stop sticks to damage the Nissan Maxima’s tires. A Volusia County Sheriff’s Office aerial unit found the vehicle in a backyard, where Kiser and his passenger, Kaitlyn McCartney, 31 abandoned it. McCartney was arrested nearby, according to Port Orange police. She was charged with resisting without violence, possession of paraphernalia, and a probation violation. ...

Body camera video showed officers telling Kiser to come down from the tree and warning him not to run away, or they would send the K-9 Drako after him. Kiser moved down toward the end of the branch, appearing to “run away in the tree,” as one officer described it over his radio.

“He’s literally in a tree right now, trying to climb it like Tarzan,” an officer said shortly before Kiser was caught on camera failing to swing from one branch to the other. ...
https://www.wfla.com/news/shirtless-florida-man-found-climbing-tree-like-tarzan-after-police-chase/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 13, 2023, 07:26:31 pm
See? a small ray of 'normalcy' breaks through the gloom...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on April 13, 2023, 07:36:53 pm
Here is a good one that happened near me today>

Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office

  ·
BOAT ADVISORY!

The OCSO and the Coast Guard are aware of a thirty foot sailboat stuck up against the Destin Bridge, so please refrain from calling
9-1-1 in regards to the situation, which is being handled by Florida Fish and Wildlife.

Thanks in advance!

(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/341176293_187978450762331_6584601227711848765_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=vkbgQLd_pJQAX_Vy8wi&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AfAQJHfQ0HF1q1WEptpbRJtOuEAjljtBzTpQUszkgaHhWQ&oe=643E3F3E)

Now the back story.  The Sail boat broke free from its mooring and got stuck when the mast hit the bridge.  If you look close there is a BIDEN flag at the to of the mast.  It seems an enterprising passer by stopped on the bridge and attached the flag.   :beer:  The boat sank under the weight of the biden flag.

(https://scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/341145820_638879308039098_8687804268329769093_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=dbeb18&_nc_ohc=lFK3nUk_h68AX_ZiWV3&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-2.xx&oh=00_AfCpDgREz5E5tGdGWWJdSlbUcBCS2-14FWX61L5W5ZbEkg&oe=643D01B1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 13, 2023, 07:39:11 pm
Pity, it looked like a nice boat (except for the flag).
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 14, 2023, 12:07:15 am
Naah, Florida Man is alive and well.https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2023/04/11/florida-man-arrested-after-wife-hit-with-flying-chicken-wings/

@mountaineer   Is that assault with parts of a dead chicken?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: libertybele on April 19, 2023, 12:56:21 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on April 19, 2023, 01:04:08 am
Doesn't look like jet skis require registration to operate on FL roads.  :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on April 19, 2023, 01:16:42 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/
But is it really Florida Man material if someone puts a jet ski body on a motorcycle? Where's the injury, drunkenness, you know the STUPID! Seems like Florida Man needs to get it in gear, they're getting as boring as Blythe, CA.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on April 19, 2023, 01:24:24 am
But is it really Florida Man material if someone puts a jet ski body on a motorcycle? Where's the injury, drunkenness, you know the STUPID! Seems like Florida Man needs to get it in gear, they're getting as boring as Blythe, CA.

Well, his hat's on backwards, and he's driving a jet ski down the road... I think that qualifies as 'fixin to'.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 19, 2023, 01:38:11 am
Well, his hat's on backwards, and he's driving a jet ski down the road... I think that qualifies as 'fixin to'.  :laugh:
Only if he has a cooler on that thing...or a pint in his pocket.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 19, 2023, 01:43:34 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

@libertybele

You had me going for a minute,there.

I was looking at the photo and asking myself,how the HELL did he get a jet ski to drive on a highway,and then I noticed the rear tire.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on April 19, 2023, 01:48:36 am
@libertybele

You had me going for a minute,there.

I was looking at the photo and asking myself,how the HELL did he get a jet ski to drive on a highway,and then I noticed the rear tire.
Many years ago, some guy from Texas had taken a drag boat (racing drag, not a canoe in disguise) and made a tag-axled 5 wheel 'trike' (because it was unstable with only three wheels) out of it. He was driving it down Main Street in Sturgis when I saw it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 19, 2023, 01:57:01 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral


@libertybele

This post on this thread is one of many reasons we wanted you back so badly on TBR. :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: libertybele on April 19, 2023, 01:14:07 pm
@libertybele

This post on this thread is one of many reasons we wanted you back so badly on TBR. :beer:

Hey, I'm back!!!   :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 20, 2023, 12:48:31 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 20, 2023, 12:49:10 am
ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 21, 2023, 05:25:27 pm
I wonder if any of the geniuses in tv or the movies have thought about creating a tv series or movie about "Florida Man...... And His Escapades"? Of course, there would have to be a Florida Woman for a love interest angle.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on May 13, 2023, 10:15:56 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aQEm1BK_460s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 13, 2023, 10:46:56 pm
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aQEm1BK_460s.jpg)

He'll never get over it, to the day he dies.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 21, 2023, 08:40:52 pm
 Florida woman caught with 7 lobster tails in pants

https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/crime/2014/06/12/florida-woman-caught-lobster-tails-pants/15794155007/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 14, 2023, 10:24:48 pm
Florida man performs surgery on a dog. The dog didn't make it. Turns out, he wasn't even a veterinarian.

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2023/08/14/florida-man-posed-as-veterinarian-performed-surgery-on-pregnant-dog-who-died-authorities-say/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 14, 2023, 10:25:42 pm
Florida man throws cheeseburger at wife

https://97x.com/florida-man-arrested-after-throwing-cheeseburger-at-wife/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 14, 2023, 10:26:39 pm
Florida woman caught with 7 lobster tails in pants
Hey, I'm not from Florida. And there were only five.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on August 15, 2023, 12:34:19 pm
Florida woman caught with 7 lobster tails in pants

https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/crime/2014/06/12/florida-woman-caught-lobster-tails-pants/15794155007/
lol
I thought this one sounded familiar.  It happened back in 2014 just after The FL State "Criminoles" GB stole some crab legs.  FL peeps like their seafood.

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on August 15, 2023, 05:55:38 pm
Florida woman caught with 7 lobster tails in pants

https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/crime/2014/06/12/florida-woman-caught-lobster-tails-pants/15794155007/
I was expecting more from Florida woman. I was expecting maybe stuffing baby gators down her pants or something. If it were live lobsters, maybe I'd get a little more interested.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on August 15, 2023, 06:48:06 pm
Sheesh! A chick with a lobster in her pants, and... NOTHING.

You guys are slipping...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: bigheadfred on August 15, 2023, 07:05:23 pm
Sheesh! A chick with a lobster in her pants, and... NOTHING.

You guys are slipping...

I don't know @roamer_1 I heard the lobsters in Florida are nothing compared to the crabs in Tijuana. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: roamer_1 on August 15, 2023, 08:42:22 pm
I don't know @roamer_1 I heard the lobsters in Florida are nothing compared to the crabs in Tijuana.

Nice @bigheadfred ... But we can do better...

"Is that a lobster in your pocket, or is your name Dylan Mulvaney?"

"something... something... crawdad hole"

Geez... Even Wings got nothing.

Frank Cannon coulda picked low fruit off of that for days.
*SMH*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: Wingnut on August 16, 2023, 01:44:39 pm
Nice @bigheadfred ... But we can do better...

"Is that a lobster in your pocket, or is your name Dylan Mulvaney?"

"something... something... crawdad hole"

Geez... Even Wings got nothing.



She did things I just couldn't fathom and I could tell by her mug shot... she was fishing for trouble.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on September 16, 2023, 09:44:41 pm
Don't mess with Texas Florida
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aeQyvdB_460s.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on September 16, 2023, 10:12:50 pm
Florida man throws cheeseburger at wife

https://97x.com/florida-man-arrested-after-throwing-cheeseburger-at-wife/
My wife throws cheeseburgers at me. Because I tell her to. Fortunately, my mouth is big enough to swallow a burger in one gulp.  ****drummer
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: 240B on October 09, 2023, 06:49:24 am
(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a1PnooP_460s.jpg)
Oddly enough, not the first time this has happened.
Several instances of people breaking into burger joints and making a meal.
Usually it is ex-employees.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 20, 2023, 10:47:14 pm
I just assumed this one had been posted already.
Quote
Florida man arrested for pooping on dead possum during rush hour traffic
 Alex Oliveira
Published Nov. 19, 2023, 3:36 p.m. ET
New York Post (https://nypost.com/2023/11/19/news/florida-man-arrested-for-pooping-on-dead-possum-during-rush-hour-traffic/)

A Florida man was arrested after allegedly defecating on a dead possum in the middle of rush-hour traffic, according to police.

Rudy Wilcox, 45, was picked up by Clearwater police on Wednesday around 5:30 p.m. after he was seen dropping-trow in the middle of the Belcher Road and Willow Tree Trail intersection then laying a log on the doubly-unfortunate possum “in full view of the motoring public.”

“The def. was observed defecating on a deceased possum with his pants lowered and his anal region exposed,” a Pinellas County affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun read.

In addition to pooping on the possum within sight of motorists, he was also allegedly witnessed in action by a police officer with the Clearwater Police Department. ...

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: mountaineer on December 31, 2023, 01:45:04 pm
Florida woman threatens to kill ex-boyfriend, new girlfriend if they didn't have Christmas threesome with her: Sheriff
Paul Sacca
December 30, 2023
Quote
A Florida woman demanded that her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend have a threesome with her, and threatened to kill the new couple if they didn't have sex with her, according to police.

Cynthia Ann Ray, 38, was arrested on Monday and charged with a count of aggravated stalking and one count of sending written threats to kill, court documents say.

Deputies with the Lake County Sheriff's Office received a "criminal mischief" complaint around 8:30 p.m. on Christmas Day, and were dispatched to a residence in Groveland, Florida.

Ray's ex-boyfriend reportedly informed police officers that his ex-girlfriend had been harassing him and his new girlfriend. ...

The former boyfriend said he received menacing messages from his ex-girlfriend threatening to kill him and his current beau unless the new couple had threesome sex with her, according to the Lake County Sheriff's Office.  ...
The Blaze (https://www.theblaze.com/news/florida-woman-murder-threesome-arrested)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: catfish1957 on December 31, 2023, 05:47:43 pm
Florida woman threatens to kill ex-boyfriend, new girlfriend if they didn't have Christmas threesome with her: Sheriff
Paul Sacca
December 30, 2023The Blaze (https://www.theblaze.com/news/florida-woman-murder-threesome-arrested)

I'll save everyone a click, and from the visuals, this is not Penthouse Forum stuff.....    :thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: GtHawk on December 31, 2023, 06:51:15 pm
I'll save everyone a click, and from the visuals, this is not Penthouse Forum stuff.....    :thud:
More like cover of DYKE magazine  *bouche*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: goatprairie on January 01, 2024, 02:49:00 am
More like cover of DYKE magazine  *bouche*
Crystal Meth Weekly.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread
Post by: sneakypete on January 01, 2024, 05:51:41 pm
Crystal Meth Weekly.

@goatprairie

Those goobers HAVE to be subscribers to a video feed because you just know they are shaking too badly to read print.