The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread

[mountaineer]

Was that wrong?

Florida Man Arrested After Allegedly Slapping A Woman With A Slice Of Pizza
by Sean Joseph
March 22, 2023, 2:04 pm   

A Florida man was arrested last week after he allegedly slapped a woman in the face with a slice of pizza. The man slapped the woman during an argument that started after she spanked a child.

Officers from the Marion County Sheriff’s Office showed up to the home of 39-year-old Ortelio Lazaro Alfonso on Friday after receiving a 911 hang-up call. When they arrived a woman told them an argument had taken place after she disciplined a child in the home by striking his “bottom area.”

The spanking didn’t sit well with Alfonso. The argument escalated to the point that he allegedly slapped the woman in the face with a slice of pizza. Everyone knows you combat spankings with pizza slaps.

Police found pizza sauce on the woman’s shirt, as well as on her collar and on the back of her shirt. In addition to the sauce, “remnants of pizza” were reportedly found in the woman’s hair and around her ear. Deputies also found pizza sauce on the walls and the ceiling in the kitchen. ...

Outkick

[Wingnut]

Was that wrong?Outkick

Ney York or Detroit style pizza?  Since it was FL prolly Little Caesar's.

[mountaineer]

That Detroit style pizza probably could hurt a person.

[Kamaji]

Florida Man seems to be behaving himself as of late.

[Cyber Liberty]

Florida Man seems to be behaving himself as of late.

He moved back to California.

[mountaineer]

Naah, Florida Man is alive and well.

Florida man arrested after wife hit with flying chicken wings
Steve Owen , Assistant News Director
Published: April 11, 2023 at 10:19 AM
Updated: April 11, 2023 at 2:38 PM

WILDWOOD, Fla. – A Florida man has been arrested after police say he threw chicken wings at his wife during an argument.

Police said they responded to a disturbance call at a home in Wildwood on Sunday night. ... According to the suspect’s arrest report, the victim told police that, “the defendant and her had been arguing over the defendant having a ‘lover’”.

The victim said, “the defendant threw the wings at her, with some hitting her on her shoulder and under her chin,” the report stated.

Officers at the scene said they saw chicken wing sauce on the victim’s chin, neck and shoulder....

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2023/04/11/florida-man-arrested-after-wife-hit-with-flying-chicken-wings/

[mountaineer]

Shirtless Florida man found climbing tree ‘like Tarzan’ after police chase
by: Rachel Tucker   
Posted: Apr 13, 2023 / 10:42 AM EDT   
Updated: Apr 13, 2023 / 12:05 PM EDT   

PORT ORANGE, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida man was found hiding in a tree on Tuesday, two hours after allegedly fleeing Port Orange police.

Jonathan Kiser, 33, was accused of speeding away from police during an attempted traffic stop, according to a Facebook post from the Port Orange Police Department.

Police used stop sticks to damage the Nissan Maxima’s tires. A Volusia County Sheriff’s Office aerial unit found the vehicle in a backyard, where Kiser and his passenger, Kaitlyn McCartney, 31 abandoned it. McCartney was arrested nearby, according to Port Orange police. She was charged with resisting without violence, possession of paraphernalia, and a probation violation. ...

Body camera video showed officers telling Kiser to come down from the tree and warning him not to run away, or they would send the K-9 Drako after him. Kiser moved down toward the end of the branch, appearing to “run away in the tree,” as one officer described it over his radio.

“He’s literally in a tree right now, trying to climb it like Tarzan,” an officer said shortly before Kiser was caught on camera failing to swing from one branch to the other. ...

https://www.wfla.com/news/shirtless-florida-man-found-climbing-tree-like-tarzan-after-police-chase/

[Smokin Joe]

See? a small ray of 'normalcy' breaks through the gloom...

[Wingnut]

Here is a good one that happened near me today>

Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office

  ·
BOAT ADVISORY!

The OCSO and the Coast Guard are aware of a thirty foot sailboat stuck up against the Destin Bridge, so please refrain from calling
9-1-1 in regards to the situation, which is being handled by Florida Fish and Wildlife.

Thanks in advance!



Now the back story.  The Sail boat broke free from its mooring and got stuck when the mast hit the bridge.  If you look close there is a BIDEN flag at the to of the mast.  It seems an enterprising passer by stopped on the bridge and attached the flag.     The boat sank under the weight of the biden flag.

[Smokin Joe]

Pity, it looked like a nice boat (except for the flag).

[sneakypete]

Naah, Florida Man is alive and well.https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2023/04/11/florida-man-arrested-after-wife-hit-with-flying-chicken-wings/

@mountaineer   Is that assault with parts of a dead chicken?

[libertybele]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

[roamer_1]

Doesn't look like jet skis require registration to operate on FL roads. 

[GtHawk]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

But is it really Florida Man material if someone puts a jet ski body on a motorcycle? Where's the injury, drunkenness, you know the STUPID! Seems like Florida Man needs to get it in gear, they're getting as boring as Blythe, CA.

[roamer_1]

But is it really Florida Man material if someone puts a jet ski body on a motorcycle? Where's the injury, drunkenness, you know the STUPID! Seems like Florida Man needs to get it in gear, they're getting as boring as Blythe, CA.

Well, his hat's on backwards, and he's driving a jet ski down the road... I think that qualifies as 'fixin to'. 

[Smokin Joe]

Well, his hat's on backwards, and he's driving a jet ski down the road... I think that qualifies as 'fixin to'. 

Only if he has a cooler on that thing...or a pint in his pocket.

[sneakypete]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

@libertybele

You had me going for a minute,there.

I was looking at the photo and asking myself,how the HELL did he get a jet ski to drive on a highway,and then I noticed the rear tire.

[Smokin Joe]

@libertybele

You had me going for a minute,there.

I was looking at the photo and asking myself,how the HELL did he get a jet ski to drive on a highway,and then I noticed the rear tire.

Many years ago, some guy from Texas had taken a drag boat (racing drag, not a canoe in disguise) and made a tag-axled 5 wheel 'trike' (because it was unstable with only three wheels) out of it. He was driving it down Main Street in Sturgis when I saw it.

[Cyber Liberty]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

@libertybele

This post on this thread is one of many reasons we wanted you back so badly on TBR.

[libertybele]

@libertybele

This post on this thread is one of many reasons we wanted you back so badly on TBR.

Hey, I'm back!!!   

[sneakypete]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

[sneakypete]

ONLY IN FLORIDA: Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Coral

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – It’s a spectacle among those like the Florida panther and invasive Burmese pythons that you’ll only find in the country’s southernmost state: Florida Man. 

It’s a certain title that has become known all around the globe. Florida Man is so well known, there’s even a TV show dedicated to the careful craft.

Over the weekend, a Florida man was spotted out in Cape Coral doing what he does best: capturing people’s attention.

A man traveling through the city noticed a motorcycle like he’s never seen before.

It has wheels and a handlebar, but the body of the bike was that of a jet ski. .............

https://abc-7.com/news/entertainment/2023/04/18/only-in-florida-man-spotted-riding-jet-ski-motorcycle-in-cape-coral/amp/

[goatprairie]

I wonder if any of the geniuses in tv or the movies have thought about creating a tv series or movie about "Florida Man...... And His Escapades"? Of course, there would have to be a Florida Woman for a love interest angle.

[240B]

[Cyber Liberty]

He'll never get over it, to the day he dies.