The GOP used to feature national conventions worth watching for at least a few moments of eloquence among the rhetorical pomp and circumstance.
And what do we have to look forward to this year?
- Pat Buchanan, inveighing darkly against the pernicious influence of Israeli agents trying to derail a new America First foreign policy?
- Ben Carson, rubbing his large hands together while slyly mumbling his admiration of the Don's smaller ones?
- Newt Gingrich, explaining why as a serial adulterer, he is best suited to testify as to Mr. Trump's qualifications for the job he now seeks?
- Sarah Palin, her vocal intonations achieving frequencies that might actually cause celebratory balloons to prematurely pop in the rafters above, telling America how totally awesome it's gonna be to have The Donald as the kind of President who will kick ass and take names, you betcha!
- Sean Hannity, announcing the next president of the United States in a Noo Yawk accent-less voice that he hopes will make him the next Press Secretary of the United States.
- Mike Tyson, bulging out of his suit, punching the air and giving a gap-toothed grin, while backstage, Trump's handlers sweatily pray that he doesn't drop a prime-time F- bomb, or else threaten to kill anyone (else).
And all of this before the Trojan horse's ass himself appears before the faux Doric columns and a giant brass Trump logo in the background, quite possibly accompanied by pole dancers.
I can't wait.
The mob has basically hijacked the Republican Party, and
Donald Trump-Capone is now in charge. Nobody has any idea of what he will say or how the crowd will react to his ignorant utterances. Sloganeering and name-calling only goes so far.
I'll bet many of the regular attendees will be holding their breaths hoping he doesn't say too many stupid things. It'll either resemble a barroom fight scene or a mausoleum.