Ridiculous News of the Day

[Cripplecreek]

I don't think I could handle a live toe. Much less a drunk one.

Try the Mojitoe

[EC]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

WACO, Texas (AP) - A Texas woman who police said packed a loaded pistol in her vagina has been sentenced to probation after she pleaded guilty to drug possession.

Ashley Cecilia Castaneda has been sentenced to 10 years on deferred probation for methamphetamine possession. The 33-year-old Waco woman also was fined $2,500.

Waco police say that when Castaneda was arrested in 2015, she told officers on her way to McLennan County Jail that she was packing a loaded handgun in her birth canal. Police Sgt. W. Patrick Swanton said a jail matron performed a cavity search and found the gun, right where Castaneda said she had hid it.

Castaneda's attorney, Seth Sutton, denied the story as impossible, but Swanton said the police department stood by it.

http://www.news9.com/story/35710497/woman-who-hid-gun-in-her-vagina-gets-probation-in-drug-case

There is no joke I could make that would be in good taste. Or even tolerable taste.

[Cripplecreek]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

Can we talk about the toe some more?

[Sanguine]

Gives a whole new meaning to "you don't want to go there".

[thackney]

Woman who hid gun in her vagina gets probation in drug case

S&W 629?  Ruger Super RedhHawk?

The important info has been left out of the story.

[bigheadfred]

 

[Smokin Joe]

S&W 629?  Ruger Super RedhHawk?

The important info has been left out of the story.

Boys Anti tank rifle?

[Cripplecreek]

Boys Anti tank rifle?

30 mm Gau?

[Smokin Joe]

30 mm Gau?

The Boys (Boyes, as I recall the spelling from my youth) was a .55 caliber rifle built to take on light armour. It was pretty much obsolete by 1942 as an anti-tank weapon.  I remember seeing ads for them with 100 or so rounds of ammo fairly cheap before the '68 GCA.



Some have been redone to shoot .50 BMG.

If you can carry it, it should be covered. The 30mm GAU is a tad large to pack around.

[Suppressed]

The Boys (Boyes, as I recall the spelling from my youth) . . .

It was "Boys"...named after the designer, Captain H.C. Boys.  I recall researching these when I was a wargamer in high school.  They were incredibly ineffective weapons for WWII tanks, except for lucky shots on the early tanks, practically doing more damage to the shooter than the target! 

[mountaineer]

Gives a whole new meaning to "you don't want to go there".

Just another reason I'm not a jail matron. Ewwww.

[Sanguine]

Just another reason I'm not a jail matron. Ewwww.

Well, that and a whole lot of other reasons!   

[berdie]

Well, that and a whole lot of other reasons!   

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

[bigheadfred]

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

No worries unless she was pregnant. She might be able to hold it and aim it. But someone else would have to pull the trigger.

[musiclady]

First I wonder about the logistics and how that could even happen. Then I wonder if the gun was loaded.

That was actually the first thing I thought of when I read this.

Loaded?  And what if it fired?

NOT a good plan, lady.......     

[verga]

Strangely enough, there was a guy here (Thursday) who was harassing people, peering in windows, acting weird, etc., downtown by the police station. The police, when they got there, said the guy told them he had gotten some bad meth and was looking for the good stuff. Asked them if they knew where the good stuff was. Wanted them to help in the search.

@bigheadfred When I read this the first time, I thought it said he was peeing in the windows. Whole different mental image.

[EC]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

[Sanguine]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

Cardiac contusion. 

[thackney]

A French fitness blogger has died from an exploding cream dispenser

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

The death of Rebecca Burger was announced by her family on social media, which they called a “domestic incident”.

According to the BBC, French media reported Ms Burger, 32, died of cardiac arrest after the accident - despite receiving medical treatment.

On Burger’s Instagram account, family members warned her fans of the dangers of the dispenser - warning that “thousands of defective devices” were in circulation.

More: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/a-french-fitness-blogger-has-died-from-an-exploding-cream-dispenser/news-story/147ef701fe2a71dd4e054d52c41d39a0

Sometimes the ridiculous is the universe itself.

After reading the article, I am amazed you didn't include some pictures.  For example:

[Old Warrior in Exile]

A FRENCH fitness and lifestyle blogger has been killed in a freak accident, after a whipped cream dispenser exploded and fatally struck her in the chest.

I have lived long enough to realize that there is no such thing as a coincidence and there are no freak accidents.

We all have it coming, I reckon.

Act accordingly.

[Cyber Liberty]

I have lived long enough to realize that there is no such thing as a coincidence and there are no freak accidents.

We all have it coming, I reckon.

Act accordingly.

I'm betting she was huffing the Nitrous in the whipped cream.

[EC]

Lawsuit: Florida contractor fakes death to dodge angry homeowners

SEMINOLE — For weeks, Glenn Holland, 67, crawled out of bed before the sun rose to look for a dead man.

The retiree and Vietnam veteran spent several weeks on stakeout in his Ford F-150. Under the cover of darkness, he waited outside the home of a man he was told had died in a car crash.

For weeks, neither the Corvette, Hummer or pick-up truck in the driveway moved.

Holland nearly gave up. He waited one last time. It was 4 a.m. on a Friday in March.

Four hours later, the deceased walked outside and jumped into the truck.

Adrenaline shot through Holland. His heart started pounding. His mind raced:

Could Marc Anthony Perez be alive?

He was. The contractor who Holland said ripped him off, then faked his own death to get out of paying him back for a botched renovation, who left Holland and his cancer-stricken wife with nowhere to live, was still among the living.

More: http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/lawsuit-florida-contractor-fakes-death-to-dodge-angry-homeowners/2328232

[Gefn]

There's a very not nice place for people who take advantage of veterans and people with cancer.

[Smokin Joe]

Human toe stolen from bar returned, with apology
by: Bob D Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk Updated: Jun 24, 2017
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/human-toe-stolen-from-bar-returned-with-apology/539609570

There’s good news afoot -- the toe stolen from the Downtown Hotel Sourdough Saloon in the Yukon has been returned to its rightful owner, along with a letter of apology.


“We’re happy as clams about it,” Sue Taylor told the Alaska Dispatch News.Taylor is a “toe captain” at the bar in Dawson City.

The mummified human toe that disappeared early Sunday is used as a bizarre garnish for the saloon’s signature drink, the Sourtoe Cocktail.

In a news release, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said ...

More at the link: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/human-toe-stolen-from-bar-returned-with-apology/539609570

[bigheadfred]

I am pleased in toto.