Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019  (Read 11266 times)

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Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2019, 06:02:02 PM »
Spock and McCoy together again in a new sitcom.

Featuring: Harold Ramis and Dave Thomas

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« Last Edit: February 21, 2019, 06:02:34 PM by Machiavelli »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2019, 01:39:43 PM »
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

The man pays the boy and hopes he's seen the last of him.

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "It's dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy: "$750."

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost."

"I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "It's dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that crap again."



Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2019, 11:17:13 AM »
One day Pinocchio came to Geppetto with a problem.

“Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?”

“Have you tried sandpaper?” Geppetto asked.

Pinocchio hadn’t, so he went to try it.

Pinocchio saw Geppetto a few weeks later.

“How did the problem work out with your girlfriend?” Geppetto asked.

Pinocchio replied. “Who needs a girlfriend?”

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2019, 01:49:24 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2019, 01:52:26 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2019, 01:53:43 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2019, 01:58:40 PM »
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break’?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a ‘Nazi.’
He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a ‘doughnut eating Gestapo.’
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Obama in ‘08 .’

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline verga

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #32 on: March 09, 2019, 02:09:08 PM »
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break’?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a ‘Nazi.’
He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a ‘doughnut eating Gestapo.’
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Obama in ‘08 .’

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #33 on: March 17, 2019, 03:10:56 PM »



Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

“Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”.

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?”

“That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery”

“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”

“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout, and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim, did he at least go quickly?”

“Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.”
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2019, 06:21:45 PM »
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #36 on: March 23, 2019, 11:45:00 AM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline verga

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2019, 05:54:27 AM »
A teacher was discussing WWII with her class. One ofthe studetrns said his granfatehr was in the Airforce during the war and would be glad to tell the class about it.
On the big day the old veteran comes in and begins to tell nthe clas some stories.
Well you see one day we were in a real dog fight. There were Fokker to the left and right, there were fokkers above and below. There were Fokkers every where.
The teacher interupted to tell the class that a Fokker was a type of German fither plane.
The old man added. Yeah and some of those fokkers were flying Messerschmitts as well.
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline EasyAce

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #38 on: March 28, 2019, 06:07:42 PM »

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #39 on: March 28, 2019, 06:20:05 PM »
The 10 Dumbest Cities in America

Nick Johnson
YouTube
March 28, 2019

Quote
In order to rank the dumbest cities in America, we had to look at which cities have the highest high school dropout rates as well as which cities have low college graduation rates.

This is a pretty good indication of where people live who don't have educational backgrounds.

Additionally, we measured how many libraries are in each city, as a ratio versus number of places to party.

More

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For entertainment purposes only. I wouldn't take this seriously.

10. Las Vegas, NV
9. Phoenix, AZ
8. Los Angeles, CA
7. Hartford, CT
6. San Antonio, TX
5. Dallas, TX
4. El Paso, TX
3. Santa Ana, CA
2. Detroit, MI
1. Fresno, CA
« Last Edit: March 28, 2019, 06:25:07 PM by Machiavelli »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #40 on: March 30, 2019, 12:44:24 PM »
Grandma and grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.  The son said "I don't think you should take one they're very strong and very expensive".  "How much?" asked Grandpa.  "$10 a pill" answered the son.  "I don't care" replied Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under your pillow".  Later the next morning the son found $110 under his pillow.  He called Grandpa and said "I told you each pill was $10 not $110".  "I know" said Grandpa.  "The hundred is from Grandma."

"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Once-Ler

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This is what the LORD Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.  Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #42 on: April 09, 2019, 08:27:12 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #43 on: April 12, 2019, 10:39:46 AM »
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #44 on: April 14, 2019, 08:34:18 AM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #45 on: April 20, 2019, 09:31:22 AM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump

Offline Machiavelli

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Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #47 on: April 30, 2019, 05:31:21 PM »
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.

Offline Machiavelli

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #48 on: May 03, 2019, 11:03:16 PM »

Offline Right_in_Virginia

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Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2019
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2019, 01:27:31 PM »
"January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again."  --  President Donald J. Trump


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