Author Topic: The Jukebox from Hell (Read 72483 times)

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #275 on:** September 17, 2014, 10:49:56 am »

Another shock rock piece today. Here's Defneg with “You Moved to New York Because You Suck.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gna7Z67AVpE

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #276 on:** September 18, 2014, 09:11:47 pm »

Who rode the Ride of Paul Revere? According to this song, Muhammad Ali?!?!

Here's a rather regrettable piece of Bicentennial Fever memorabilia, Ali himself (who can't even seem to speak in rhythm very well) and a backing band with “I'm The Greatest (Ali's Bicentennial Freedom Song).” Float like a butterfly, sing like a beaver.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur64OrWCgm8

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #277 on:** September 22, 2014, 01:04:12 pm »

I'd venture to guess that more bad music is made in the name of Jesus than any other entity. Now, the actual musical talents of these three ladies is up for debate, but it's the cover of the album on which this cut appeared that earns this trio an entry in the Jukebox from Hell.

Here are The Faith Tones with their version of the hymn “Jesus Use Me.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RciSEvedXvs

240B · « **Reply #278 on:** September 22, 2014, 08:28:56 pm »

The title of the last post reminded me of South Park. The show did a spoof on Christian music with the 'joke' being that Christian Rock songs are just simple pop love songs with Jesus put in the place of a lover. A song called 'Jesus Use Me' would fit in to the South Park idea of Christian music.

No intent to be sacrilegious, however this is fairly strong. Anyone easily offended should not click. It was pretty funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU1taFr17QU

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #279 on:** September 22, 2014, 08:39:53 pm »

Quote from: 240B on September 22, 2014, 08:28:56 pm

The title of the last post reminded me of South Park. The show did a spoof on Christian music with the 'joke' being that Christian Rock songs are just simple pop love songs with Jesus put in the place of a lover. A song called 'Jesus Use Me' would fit in to the South Park idea of Christian music.

No intent to be sacrilegious, however this is fairly strong. Anyone easily offended should not click. It was pretty funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU1taFr17QU

No offense taken here! I have a lot of the same issues with modern Christian music; hence, even though I do quite a bit of it as a church musician, I almost never listen to it outside of church. There's a church in my town (not surprisingly, they also happen to be a King James Only church) that ONLY does hymns because of that very phenomenon, and although I won't go THAT far, I definitely prefer some of the older stuff that's a little bit deeper than a cookie sheet.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #280 on:** September 28, 2014, 06:14:37 pm »

Those of you of a certain vintage may recall the classic 1970s educational cartoon series Schoolhouse Rock! that aired on ABC.

First came multiplication, then grammar, a bicentennial-themed American history season, and finally science. All four seasons were hits. They couldn't go wrong, could they?

Well, actually, yes, they could. (There was the seven-episode Metric Marvels spin-off, but that aired on NBC instead.) This was the long-forgotten season 5. These two are Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips. It all starts with the naming: Chips is the computer, even though Scooter's last name is Computer. Four episodes were produced—which then prompted the end of the show.

Fortunately for the staff, they would get a mulligan. In 1990, they were given a chance at a second "fifth season," which would have a financial theme. That season was a success, and the previous four seasons would rerun for another ten years. Scooter and Chips were left out. (They also made a season 6 for direct-to-video, but sadly, that one was mostly environmentalist propaganda.)

Here is the first episode of the Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips series, an episode ABC held in such high regard that they lost the tape (one of the voice actors found a copy in his personal collection, which is the source of this copy).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drnpX6dtYfs

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #281 on:** October 01, 2014, 01:25:18 pm »

From the Ultra-Lounge album... here is a cover of The Who's "I Can See for Miles..." as covered by a big band and a lead SITAR. That's not a typo, I said a sitar. The artist is Big Jim Sullivan, recording under the alias Lord Sitar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySCDljCE9Qw

240B · « **Reply #282 on:** October 01, 2014, 09:44:25 pm »

That was, like, groovy man...

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #283 on:** October 02, 2014, 08:19:25 pm »

Quote from: 240B on October 01, 2014, 09:44:25 pm

That was, like, groovy man...

If you think that one's groovy, wait 'til you hear this one.

Mel Tormé, the “Velvet Fog,” a man perhaps best known today for writing “The Christmas Song” (or “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire (Merry Christmas to You),” or some combination of titles thereof), was a big singer in the 1940s and 1950s, until rock-and-roll killed his career. Tormé held a grudge against it for the rest of his life, calling it at one point “three-chord manure.”

That didn't stop him from cutting a couple of rock and roll tracks later in his career. However, in good fashion, he (probably intentionally) butchered them. By this point, Tormé had developed a bit of a career renaissance as a swinging jazz singer. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Flo and Eddie themselves actually were amused by this cut, given their flair for the experimental.

Here is the Velvet Fog himself with his version of The Turtles' “Happy Together.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs5feooZtkw

(The other recording he made was of “Sunshine Superman” by Donovan.)

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #284 on:** October 08, 2014, 06:05:48 am »

Standard WARNING: NSFW disclaimer.

In the early 1980s, outlaw country musician David Allan Coe penned the albums Nothing Sacred and Underground Album, containing "among the most racist, misogynist, homophobic and obscene songs recorded by a popular songwriter," and released them independently by mail order. Among the treasures on these works are a song personally insulting Jimmy Buffett (after Buffett had accused Coe of plagiarism some time before), several sexually explicit tunes, a tune I can only refer to here as “N. F.,” and this.

First off, for the younger ones in the crowd, an explanation: Anita Bryant was one of the first mainstream celebrities to take on the homosexual agenda head-on. At the time, she was a singer, model and spokeswoman for the Florida Citrus Commission. In 1977 Bryant spearheaded a campaign to repeal a law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, believing it to be a backdoor for pedophiles and gay recruiters. While her campaign was successful, the resulting backlash was intense and furious. The homosexual lobbyists destroyed her career, her marriage (which in turn destroyed her credibility among many on the far right—but of course, same-sex marriage doesn't affect your marriage, right?) and her reputation. The lobby organized a boycott of oranges to protest the Florida Citrus Commission's employment of Bryant. By 1997, Bryant was bankrupt. Below is a picture of Bryant getting assaulted with a pie to the face.

Nevertheless, the repeal stood until the late 2000s, when the current zeitgeist toward gay rights started gaining full steam. (Ironically, even after the boycott had no further reason to be sustained, orange juice sales have been falling.)

Back to the music, this song initially starts off as an insult toward Bryant and a defense of gay rights, before veering off squarely into the territory of “backhanded compliment.” Ladies and gentlemen, from the album Nothing Sacred, I present David Allan Coe with “(expletive) Aneta Bryant.” (sic)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gin7s5qMG8

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #285 on:** October 17, 2014, 06:57:13 am »

My father once compared this record to a cat dying. I happen to agree.

Here's Neil Young with “After the Gold Rush.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e3m_T-NMOs

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #286 on:** October 20, 2014, 08:06:26 pm »

The author of this entry in the Jukebox from Hell, singer-songwriter James Blunt, recently came out apologizing for having this song force-fed onto the British and American public. He insists now that he was being over-the-top and not serious when he wrote it, but because it was marketed to the “adult contemporary” market (i.e., women), people took it seriously. See the story here.

Here's a song that was EVERYWHERE in 2005 (see my previous statements on the 2000s being a terrible decade for music). It's called “You're Beautiful.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oofSnsGkops

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #287 on:** October 27, 2014, 03:13:32 pm »

Author: unknown. Here's a classic 1-minute stop-motion commercial for Levi's with a guy who's trying a LITTLE too hard on his drawl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBYgbeT6ciI

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #288 on:** November 07, 2014, 02:41:35 pm »

Say no to drugs, or else you might get a visit from Devastatin' Dave, the Turntable Slave. Here's his signature tune, the ZIP ZAP RAP.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clg9AziTfI4

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #289 on:** November 13, 2014, 08:46:23 pm »

A guilty pleasure: I listen to the Bee Gees. They're more than just disco. They had a tremendous amount of talent and a very diverse body of work that doesn't get respected enough because of their association with disco (and Barry's falsetto/long blond hair combo probably didn't help).

Near the end of their disco heyday, one of the pieces they wrote and recorded was “Tragedy.” It was a tragic song.

Then some time in the 1990s some English group named Steps made it all…happy.

Here are Steps with a bizarrely inappropriate rendition of “Tragedy.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYPM1p5iZfA

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #290 on:** November 24, 2014, 08:04:22 pm »

(sarcasm)
Another wonderful example of songwriting brilliance…
(/sarcasm) from Canada comes Kim Mitchell with “Go for Soda.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXnTbmPxv5g

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #291 on:** December 03, 2014, 09:15:55 pm »

The 1989 sitcom Family Matters unwittingly leashed popular culture's first ever black nerd on the American public. His name was Steve Urkel, and although he was originally only meant to be a one-off character in the first season, he eventually became so popular that by the end of the show's run it revolved entirely around him.

The show got increasingly bizarre in its later years, but today's entry in the Jukebox from Hell was from the still-benign early years of the show. Mix 90s pop with nerdiness and you get this piece.

Here's Jaleel White (whose career still hasn't recovered from playing Urkel), in character as Steve Urkel, doing “The Urkel Dance.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTeOcVelYi0

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #292 on:** December 03, 2014, 09:24:16 pm »

Because I feel like it and haven't been posting daily as of late, here's another one.

I don't know who originally wrote this song. But there's not much of a plot. It's badgers, an inexplicable mushroom, and the singers panic when a snake comes by (even though badgers have been known to kick snakes', well, back ends, if you know what I mean).

Here's “Badger Badger Badger.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #293 on:** December 09, 2014, 08:21:34 pm »

Christopher Lee, age 92. Metal. Christmas carols. You do the math.

Literally from Hell, I present a sampler of Lee's metal Christmas releases.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TnFIDKyX50

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #294 on:** December 14, 2014, 01:56:36 pm »

ABBA originally spoke Swedish. Then they, for the most part, mastered English. Then they went and recorded an album in Spanish.

For a little dissonance, I present ABBA with their version of “Knowing Me, Knowing You;” “Conociendome, Conociendote.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdsei0_JXD0

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #295 on:** December 15, 2014, 09:16:21 am »

Submitting without comment. Here's Ottawan with “D.I.S.C.O.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmS4po8hIeo

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #296 on:** January 01, 2015, 09:04:06 am »

This next entry is from the Village People.

The Village People were the creation of two French record producers, one of whom was gay and the other one who saw the value of "pink money" (the group's name comes from Greenwich Village, the infamous New York City bohemian grove). Likewise most of the members are also gay, with the exception of the lead singer. Their original and most famous singer was Victor Willis, who wrote most of the group's hits with numerous double-entendres. With Willis at the helm, and at the height of the disco era, the Village People were smash hits.

Then around 1980, disco died and Willis quit; from there, the band went totally off the rails. This piece is indicative of their work: gone are the subtleties of Willis's songwriting and in its place is something ridiculously over-the-top. Side note: the writer of this piece, Bruce Vilanch, was also responsible for a number of major TV flops, including The Brady Bunch Hour and The Star Wars Holiday Special, both of which have been previously played here.

Here are the Village People with “Sex over the Phone.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hYtUYiuzkw

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #297 on:** January 16, 2015, 06:18:16 pm »

Believe it or not, this was a top 40 hit. Peaking at #18 in August 1977, here is Meri Wilson with “Telephone Man.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s8lf5VG8F4

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #298 on:** January 23, 2015, 11:52:08 am »

What do you get when you cross a toneless rendition of Hank Williams' classic “Kaw-liga” with the bass line of Michael Jackson's “Billie Jean?”

This piece. Here are The Residents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZeEx-OM4W8

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #299 on:** March 04, 2015, 09:59:42 pm »

Submitted without further comment: Roger Clinton (yes, Bill's brother) with “Mustang Sally.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIpfbZbS3bw&t=65