Author Topic: Today's Toons 6/1/26 (Read 516 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** **Today** at 12:04:42 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

If Iran would just look at how well Germany and Japan are doing, they'd surrender to the US today and start cranking out quality automobiles for us.

The Sandy Fire in Simi Valley was assaulted by water cannons fired from airplanes Thursday as 17,000 residents were evacuated but only one home destroyed; The blaze is now 30% contained. Luckily the reservoirs were kept full this time because we have enough homeowners running for mayor.

Byron Allen rented the air time from CBS to host Comics Unleashed starting on Tuesday. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was costing CBS $40 million per year. Only Terri Schiavo was on life support longer than The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Daily Variety reports that Christopher Nolan's upcoming blockbuster movie Odyssey cast a black actress as Helen of Troy and a trans-gender as Achilles. It never ends. As long as we're re-writing history, I just saw an inspirational photo of Neil Armstrong planting the Confederate flag on the Moon.

President Trump gave a commencement address Wednesday to the graduates of the U.S. Coast Guard Academy. This past year the Coast Guard sank 50 cocaine speedboats in the Caribbean. The lost cocaine and high gas prices have delivered a double blow to the cost attending the Academy Awards.

House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries called on black college football players in the SEC to boycott this fall to protest congressional re-districting in Dixie. This week blacks at Yale, Columbia and NYU have separate graduation ceremonies. Today, Prince would sing Tonight We're Gonna Party Like it's 1959.

The National Security Council met in the White House Situation Room with President Trump to survey the current combat situation and weigh all their options. They see that the enemy has suffered significant losses but they remain intransigently defiant. And that's just the Democrats and re-districting.

If we don't overthrow the Iranian regime they're going to enrich uranium again. Taking Iran's word is like believing the stripper really likes you.

After tonight's primary in Texas, if Trump kills off any more RINOs Uganda is going to try him in the World Court for poaching.

Stephen Colbert hosted his last show Thursday with Robert de Niro and Paul McCartney wishing him a fond farewell. It climaxed an entire month of teary-eyed goodbyes on the show. Colbert's been off the air four days and already he's accepted a new job working for Kimberly-Clark as a Kleenex tester.

President Trump headlined a Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington Cemetery where he honored those killed in action. Speaking of combat, just two days earlier, Trump had been shot at and missed for the 4th time in 2 years. The Secret Service just gave him a new code name – Donald Duck!

President Trump rejected Iran's latest peace proposal that would give Iran control of the Strait of Hormuz and surrender no enriched uranium. They also demanded billions in frozen Iranian cash. Not to be outdone, the Seattle Seahawks just demanded the Lombardi Trophy for losing the Super Bowl.

Senator Bernie Sanders gave a rousing speech for Maine Democrat Senate candidate Graham Platner Monday. I can now say I've lived long enough to see a Jew who was born during World War II campaign for a guy with a swastika tattooed on his chest. Only Hogan's Heroes was lighter on the Nazis.

Sacramento Councilwoman and Laotian Mai Vang turned her back on the U.S. flag and refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance at a meeting Friday. There's more. The bad news is she's running for Congress in the Democrat primary, and the worse news is, she may be too moderate to win in California.

Hollywood actors called for a boycott of CBS for canceling Stephen Colbert. He hosted a show on a Michigan public access channel the day after his Late Show was canceled. He was so successful in re-creating the magic of his network show that the public access channel has already lost $10 million.

UCLA is boiling over this week amid Mideast tensions. Last week at a UCLA campus fair, I saw a Muslim kid in a booth selling copies of the entire Quran on one DVD. I asked him to burn me a copy, and that's when the trouble started.

The new $250 bill with Trump's portrait on it can't go into circulation until he's dead. Trump has finally figured out a way to get Democrats to stop shooting at him.

Jill Biden told CBS she thought Joe was having a stroke during his last presidential debate. She's nuts. Hey, I thought Joe debated just as well as Abe Lincoln, if you dug him up right now.

Duluth Trading Company Jeans began advertising on Fox News this week. They're made in Minnesota and come in two sizes, Large and Somali.

Jill Biden now says she thought Joe was having a stroke during the 2024 debate with Trump. I guess that's why she took him to a Waffle House and a campaign rally afterwards. Jill is a doctor, after all.

-- Argus Hamilton