Last Week Was a Keg of Lib Tears and It's Time to Party Down
Kurt Schlichter
I have never understood people who say that you shouldn’t celebrate utterly defeating your opponents; that sounds like loser talk to me. And defeating our opponents is what we’ve done in the last week. We've used them, abused them, and generally treated them like a straight white cisgender Christian male from Dallas in the Harvard Womyn's Studies Department. This calls for a celebration. You should be partying. You should be clinking glasses. And you should be throwing their defeats back into their ugly, scrunched faces. Raise a toast of liberal tears and beer-bong it like an SEC linebacker at a kegger.
Last week was just beautiful. Remember, when we went into it, we were being told by all the smart people of smartness that the Democrats’ masterstroke in further gerrymandering the states was going to win them a bunch of new seats and consign us to House oblivion. They started it, initiating the g-wars by trying to erase Republicans in New York State, but they didn’t figure on us finishing it. And finishing it, we did by hammering a stake through the heart of their communist dreams. Now that the House is in play, with the new and fair districts, Republicans are going to make all the ridiculous Hakeem “Maximum Warfare” Jeffries curtain-measuring of the last few weeks a waste of time. We won in the Supreme Court on the Voting Rights Act. We won on the Virginia gerrymander. We won with Southern red states from Florida to Tennessee, immediately redistricting to eliminate the race-based blue seats. We also saw the pothead author of the Virginia gerrymander get her house searched as a prelude to getting indicted, got great economic news, plus we bombed those seventh-century semihumans again. And, as a cherry on top, we watched a reality television star humiliate a couple of half-wit communists in the Los Angeles mayoral debate.
It's been a welcome change from the last few months, where we couldn't seem to catch a break. But now we've owned the libs across the board, and they’re really sad, which makes it so much better when you make fun of them. But some are angry, and they’re threatening to defy the courts, secede, or even launch a violent revolution. That last one is Hassan Piker’s idea. I don’t see that dog-tormenting rich kid suiting up and locking and loading – that's for the dummies, like the genius who rushed the White House Correspondents Dinner – but if he did, I know about 20 million right-wingers with gun safes full of 5.56mm freedom who would be totally down with that. Yeah, roll those dice, tough guys. You Democrats have a bad track record of starting a civil war when Virginia doesn’t get its way.
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https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2026/05/11/last-week-was-a-keg-of-lib-tears-and-its-time-to-party-down-n2675814
