Democrats Say 'Heil Platner!'
Kurt Schlichter
With the recusal of ancient Governor Janet Mills—she was just too normal to compete in today's slippery-slope-to-totalitarianism Donkey Party—Maine’s Democrats are about to nominate a guy who generates more punchlines than a Don Rickles roast. He’s really got it all. He’s stupid, offensive, a spoiled rich kid, a commie, and so much more. His schtick is that he’s just a working-class oysterman, a stubble-bearded blue-collar guy who’s going to give all those billionaires who are oppressing Mainers what for. But when anybody thinks of him, they’re thinking of him as Herr Oberstoysterfuhrer.
You know, the guy with the Nazi tattoo.
Let’s understand that it’s not just a Nazi tattoo. It’s a Nazi tattoo, squared. The swastika was not enough for this guy. He had to take it to the next level. He had to go get the Totenkopf, which is the symbol of the guys who ran the concentration camps, ground into his pecs. He didn’t just get a pin from one of their caps and keep it in a drawer. It’s not on a T-shirt. He lay back and endured considerable physical pain to have somebody etch it into his skin forever. And again, it’s not enough for him to be showing solidarity with the Nazis as he goose-steps across the stage. He’s got to show solidarity with the specific Nazis who specifically murdered the Jews specifically. But see, that’s on-brand, because he doesn’t like the Jews very much. And Jews, don’t you feel special, because he doesn’t seem to like anybody. Thank you, Internet, where nothing ever dies. That's how we know how he feels about blacks, gays, Christians, women who say “No,”and Mainers. Summing it up, he’s not a fan.
But hey, maybe we’re being a little hard on him. To be sure, he’s got some excuses about why it’s not his fault that he was running around with a Nazi tattoo for most of his adult life. After all, who among us hasn't spent a couple of decades with a symbol of genocidal mass murder imprinted just underneath his right nipple? Well, all of us, but let’s hear Himmler out. He claims he had no idea what it was. Sure, for decades he had no idea what the thing he paid money for some guy to grind into he flesh was. When he saw "Schindler’s List," whose happy ending ruined it for him, he must have thought it looked cool and failed to connect the dots.
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https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2026/05/07/democrats-say-heil-platner-n2675639
