Author Topic: Today's Toons 1/12/26 (Read 809 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** January 12, 2026, 06:54:57 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The FBI launched a probe into how Minnesota's Medicaid claims for autism jumped 13,000% in 5 years while autism providers spiked in Somali communities. The scammers cast a wide net. This must be why my spam folder is full of e-mails from autistic Somali children promising to make me rich.

Trump phoned Iran's Ayatollah today to say he's curious and wants to know what size tracksuit he usually wears.

All over the world, Venezuelans are dancing in the streets. Well, all but two of them.

Turns out it was easier to find Maduro in Venezuela than it is to find a kid in a Somali daycare center.

The Department of Energy stalled construction on the giant wind farms now being built off the Eastern Seaboard, to help save the whales. It's caught Hollywood's imagination. For its next deep sea animated movie adventure, Disney's making a movie about a transgender whale called Maybe Dick.

Trump overthrew Venezuela for importing tons of cocaine into the US and he's threatening to do the same to Columbia. It's a clear message to everyone in Hollywood...stock up.

I hope Secretary of State Marco Rubio is resting up. Within a week he's the new president of Venezuela the governor of Cuba and the Shah of Iran.

Minnesota lawmakers mulling an assisted suicide law. It allows you to either die by a physician-administered morphine drip or by walking into a pedestrian crosswalk wearing an ICE cap. So, you have the choice of dying by IV or SUV.

I'm happy to say that next week I'm going on a USO tour. I'll be entertaining US troops stationed in Venezuela, Cuba, Greenland, Minneapolis and Iran.

I hate to leave the Comedy Store for two weeks in February, but I just picked up a road gig as the interim Shah of Iran.

Hot off the ESPN sports wire: The Kansas City Chiefs have just offered President Trump a position with the team as Offensive Coordinator.

Don't let anybody tell you your dreams are impossible...a former McDonald's worker just liberated Venezuela. The American dream is alive and well.

It was Socrates who first diagnosed the symptoms of TDS around 440 BC. He said, "When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers."

Gov. Tim Walz calling for civil war now over ICE enforcing federal immigration law. Just be yourself is the worst advice you can give some people.

-- Argus Hamilton