Good Men Are Hard To Find, So Why Are So Many Women Divorcing Them?

[Kamaji]

Good Men Are Hard To Find, So Why Are So Many Women Divorcing Them?

By: Anna Kaladish Reynolds
December 23, 2025

Divorcing a good man is not an act of bravery but an act of self-destruction that harms many others in the process.

There’s a big milestone coming up for a lot of families this year: first divorced Christmas.

It might be a challenging day of splitting kids between disparate family events. Or, perhaps, Mom and Dad will behave like adults and both show up to the same gathering in an effort to create some normalcy for their children, who, heretofore, might have had an intact family and simple celebrations.

For as long as there has been marriage, there have been some people who break their wedding vows. What makes this first divorced Christmas notable? Surprisingly, by their own admission, many women initiating these divorces have no good reason for calling it quits. Women in stable, functional households are taking the “brave” step of ending their marriages.

Our culture has already endured the craze of women divorcing their “narcissistic” husbands. As many people have already noted, if people with narcissistic personality disorder make up only 1 to 2 percent of the population, how is it possible that so many women around the age of 40 woke up one day to discover they’d been suffering under the tyranny of a narcissistic abuser? It was a bit suspect, but there were often theatrical accounts of “gaslighting” and sometimes a stated desire to protect the children.

The new loudmouth divorcees, however, make no pretense of protecting children or escaping great suffering. They just feel vaguely unfulfilled, listless, and uncertain. Some people in this situation might get a haircut, try a new hobby, or schedule a weekend away. But women online are convincing each other to end their marriages because they don’t feel deeply fulfilled by a mere mortal man who has, in many cases, remained faithful, contributed to raising children, provided a steady income, and been, in other words, a decent guy.

What’s the evidence that this is a social contagion? The uncanny similarities between these “brave” announcements. Online, you can find dozens of videos of women sitting in their cars (why are they always sitting in their cars?) proclaiming that the man whose life they are rending is “a good man.” Usually, they will say he is a “great dad.” Often, the women, some of whom do not currently have paid employment, have the gall to note that he is a “good provider.” Our culture is taking “no-fault divorce” to new heights! He’s done nothing wrong.

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Source:  https://thefederalist.com/2025/12/23/good-men-are-hard-to-find-so-why-are-so-many-women-divorcing-them/

[Hoodat]

@corbe

Your expertise is needed here.

[berdie]

A good friend told me when I married at an insanely young age...Marriage is like the ocean. The tide comes in and it's all happy, happy, happy.
The tide goes out...things aren't so good. But the tide will come back in again.

I found that to be true.

[bigheadfred]

Sounds like they ain't got the balls for it.

[Hoodat]

The decision to divorce without cause also robs her children of their inheritance by unnecessarily severing a household and often inflicting great financial hardship. If you thought running a household in this economy was tough, try two!

Spot on.  Money that I could have invested in my children's education and future went towards 'child' (i.e. ex-wife) support.  And I never could afford a three-bedroom anything where they could each have their own bedroom when they came to spend visitation with dad.

It was only after the younger turned 18 and ex-wife support ended that was I able to achieve any financial stability in my life.  Yet even then, the younger had an expectation that dad was now supposed to pay for his college, which as any parent can attest takes a decade and a half to save up for.  But in my case, I had handed all that savings over to mom one month at a time.

[Timber Rattler]

I've got as very close friend who's going through this same scenario with his wife.  They are both in early middle age (early 50s) and their two kids are now adults with kids of their own.  My friend is a good and decent guy, who is very successful in his scientific career, a good provider, but a bit boring in personality.  He has always treated his wife like a queen but over the past year or so, he noticed that she was becoming more and more withdrawn from him and increasingly grumpy and stand-offish.  Whenever he asked her what was wrong he could never get a straight answer.

Finally, earlier this year, she came out and told him that she was feeling unfulfilled in her marriage (after 30 years), was bored, and wanted something more that he could not give her.  So after a few weeks of hemming and hawing, she finally asked my friend for a separation (to figure things out).  Being the nice guy he is, my friend agreed, hoping that she would come to her senses, and even volunteered to move out and find his own apartment, which he did (I thought this was dumb!).

As it happened, it turns out that my friend's wife had been watching the same videos referenced in this article, with all of those spoiled women complaining about their own "boredom" with good husband and then doing the "brave thing" and walking away from their marriage "to find themselves" and "do what's best for me."

My friend and his wife are still separated and he's caught in a sort of limbo, hoping that she will come back to him.  But I don't see it happening and believe that divorce in inevitable at this point.

[libertybele]

My parents divorced when I was 13 ... Christmas and other holidays were never the same.  We always spent them with my mom and I saw my Dad for a few hours the day after the holidays or not at all.  It was difficult and heart breaking (I won't get into that).

Then I got married and had children.  Things changed -- our house our rules.  Both of my parents were invited over to our house during the holidays and birthdays so that they could spend it with their grandchildren. Yes, they had to act like adults.

It was one of our first years of marriage that I actually got to spend Christmas with my father!  So many years had passed, but that Christmas was special.   

[GtHawk]

A good friend told me when I married at an insanely young age...Marriage is like the ocean. The tide comes in and it's all happy, happy, happy.
The tide goes out...things aren't so good. But the tide will come back in again.

I found that to be true.

My wife an I married at nineteen, my parents were upset, it would never last they said….until we gave them a grandchild. My brother and sister married years after us and they both divorced their spouses, they chose poorly, not my brother and sister…their spouses.

[corbe]

[cato potatoe]

My sister fell into this trap, I’m afraid.  She had four children with her husband, and he was an excellent provider who spent a lot of effort raising them.  On a visit a couple of years ago I noticed they were in separate bedrooms; next thing I hear she is filing for divorce and trying to squeeze him for whatever money he inherited.  She hung around toxic women at her workplace.  Pretty obvious what happened there.

To answer the question, they divorce their husbands because they lack morals and are rewarded for being selfish.