Author Topic: SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 8, 2025 Edition  (Read 222 times)

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Offline John Semmens

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SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 8, 2025 Edition
« on: June 07, 2025, 04:25:26 am »
Pandemic School Aid Can't Be Canceled

Despite the fact that the Covid pandemic was officially declared over as of May of 2023 and the federal funds authorized in the American Rescue Plan Act had a "use by date" of December 31, 2024, Manhattan District Judge Edgardo Ramos ruled that Education Secretary Linda McMahon cannot recover the unused funds.

McMahon argued that "these funds were intended to aid schools impacted by the shutdowns imposed in 2020. The money was intended to support pandemic recovery efforts like constructing sneeze guards in classrooms, tutoring students being remotely educated, and assistance for homeless students. The schools have been open for the last two years, the useless sneeze guards have all been discarded, and all students can now be taught in the classrooms. The purpose for which the funds were authorized no longer exists."

Judge Ramos explained that "once federal monies are authorized they become an entitlement for the designated recipients to use however they think best. Just because the pandemic is over doesn't mean that these funds can be rescinded. Public instruction in the classrooms is far from adequate for all students. Supplemental tutoring might still be beneficial. New needs like gender-affirming education have arisen that could use the previously granted pandemic ameliorating funds. Schools must have the flexibility to redirect their efforts to other important missions."

New York Attorney General Letitia James hailed Judge Ramos' ruling, saying "it adds a much needed option for schools to adapt their instruction to changes in priorities over time. This is especially the case with the new Trump Administration's vociferous opposition to the schools' efforts to safely and efficiently assist children who are dissatisfied with the sex they were assigned at birth."

Musk/Trump Feud Opens Opportunity

On CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360," political commentator Van Jones urged President Donald Trump "to take this opportunity to win his feud with Musk by punishing all of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) employees Musk left behind. Trump may be top dog right now, but he's only got a few years left to affect public policy. The much richer and younger Musk has 40 years left. Trump needs to recognize that these DOGE employees are dangerous."

"You think Trump should prosecute them?" Cooper asked.

"Yes. He needs to learn from the Biden Administration's lawfare against him and ramp up a similar campaign against the relatively poorer young folks still working to find waste, fraud, and abuse inside the federal government. These youngsters can't afford the lawyers Trump could to help him avert a disastrous outcome when he was Biden's target. Trump could totally wreck their lives and send a strong message to Musk. Additionally, Trump could have Musk deported. I hear Russia has already offered Musk asylum. Getting Musk out of the country could neutralize Musk's long-term influence on the United States."

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt predicted that "there is no way that President Trump would do any of the things that Van Jones has advised. The President appreciates what Elon has done to help America recover from the horrible policies of the Democrats. He's not going to let a disagreement over the strategy for winning the battle to rescue the economy divert him from doing what's best for America. He is confident that the Big Beautiful Bill is the best first step we can take at this time. The economic boom it will stimulate will make many of the other cuts in spending that Elon and his DOGE team have recommended easier to achieve in subsequent legislation."

Dem Makes Case for More Immigrants

Rep. Becca Balint (D-Vt) made the strongest argument yet for why we need to increase immigration, saying "if we don't have avenues for people to come here legally we're not going to have anybody around to do the jobs Americans are not willing to do. One of the more distasteful things each of us has to do is wipe our asses. The same hand we eat with comes within a thin piece of toilet paper of contacting our own excrement. We are a rich enough country to not have to do this ourselves. In past times many of the elite members of society had slaves or servants to handle this task. We need a similar service for important individuals in our society like members of Congress, governors, and presidents. It will give the lower classes employment and reduce the filth that the well-off currently have to bother themselves with."

Vermont Republican Party Chairman Paul Dame called Rep. Balint's remarks "repugnant. Many of the immigrants in our state have had remarkable careers in high-tech fields, served as world-class physicians in Vermont hospitals, and are critical to our small business community, providing a wide array of goods and services that enrich our state."

In rebuttal, Balint pointed out "I wasn't talking about immigrants who are scientists, doctors or businessmen. I was talking about immigrants from what Trump called 'shit hole countries.' These are the kind of illiterate and unskilled folks we need to mow our lawns, make our beds, and wipe our butts. Americans won't take these jobs. The wages are too low--below what they can get from welfare benefits. So, unless we are going to ratchet down these freebies we aren't going to get them to do this or any other kind of work. Open borders are our only way out of this dilemma."

Cuomo Debates Rivals

Former Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) promised that if he is elected mayor of New York City he will "spend eight years in Washington leading the fight against Trump." While acknowledging that this campaign promise "might seem to be outside the normal scope of a mayor's job, vowing to fight Trump has been a key factor in the elections of other Democrats in New York. Democrats hate Trump more than anything. Two-thirds of the City's voters are registered Democrats. It's a winning platform."

Cuomo also dismissed the chances of his rivals, saying "the typical budgets and boroughs issues that Republicans want to focus on are irrelevant. Only 11% of the City's registered voters are Republicans. The budgets have been busted for decades and the boroughs are all rotten. Always have been. By switching from Democrat to Independent Mayor Adams has aligned himself with 21% of the registered voters. Jews would have to be crazy to vote for the Muslim."

Both Mamdani and Adams pointed out that Cuomo is currently under investigation by the US Department of Justice for ordering senior citizen nursing homes to admit patients infected with covid. "This was a reckless decision," Mamdani charged. "In 2020 it was well known that the elderly were especially vulnerable to covid. Thousands died who might otherwise have lived if infected persons were not sent there." Adams pointed out that "at that time Cuomo said he would never send his elderly mother to a place where infected oldsters were being housed. He knew the danger, but forced others to bear it."

Cuomo asserted that "I only did what any loving son would've done for his Mom. If the children of the folks who died in the nursing homes would've cared for their parents at home they might have saved their lives. I shouldn't be blamed for their lack of action to save their parents like I saved my Mom."

Abortion Pill Deceit

A peer-reviewed study by Charlotte Lozier Institute reviewed nearly 30,000 visits to emergency rooms by women who had undergone either a surgical or chemical abortion and found that 80% of these visits were falsely recorded as miscarriages.

Those who recommend chemical abortions routinely advise women who require immediate medical assistance to lie at the emergency room. The fear is that if the true cause of the emergency were reported it would negatively impact the sale of these abortion pills. In fact, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists usually advise medical personnel to not ask women if their urgent health condition is the result of chemical abortion on the grounds that the woman could face prosecution in some states.

Needing immediate medical care after a chemical abortion occurs about 9% of the time. A common problem is that not all parts of the baby and placenta are successfully expelled from the pregnant woman's body. These parts need additional medical intervention to prevent potentially life-threating infections. Dr. James Studnicki, one of the study's authors, called the deception "a public health crisis."

Planned Parenthood spokesperson Adora Slaughter characterized the study and its conclusions as "exaggerated. Over 90% of chemical abortions go as promised. The fetus is killed and ejected from the pregnant person's body. As far as medical interventions go, a 90% success rate is far above average. By way of contrast, the highly touted and very expensive 'warp speed' covid vaccines have a 90% failure rate. Yet, these drugs are still available and widely recommended by numerous public health experts."

More Dems Suffer from Poor Mental Health

According to political analyst Nate Silver, "the problem Democrats are having attracting male voters is that they are too mentally healthy to vote for Democrats. The Cooperative Election Study survey showed that 40% of Generation Z males consider their mental health to be "very good" or "excellent." In contrast, only 20% of Generation Z females say theirs is "very good" or "excellent."

The same survey found that 51% of conservatives say their mental health is excellent. Only 20% of liberals say the same. When asked whether they have "poor mental health" 45% of liberals said yes. Only 19% of conservatives said yes.

Silver concluded that "young men view Democrats as neurotic, risk-averse, sticklers for the rules, always up in everyone's business. Which also explains why young females are more likely to vote for Democrats. It is the Party most closely aligned with the idea that the government ought to be running everyone's lives as much as possible. Young men would rather be left alone than bombarded with political messages condemning their sexism, privilege, and selfishness for wanting the opportunity to compete and reap the rewards of their own efforts."

Joy Behar, one of the co-hosts of ABC's "The View" advised Democrats that "rather than investing money or effort to win the votes of men we should be teaching them to not be such sexists. They need to get out of the way so women, gay men, and trans people can have their turn to make the rules for our society." The in-studio audience vociferously applauded these goals.

Silver went on to predict that "the current front runners for the 2028 Democrat presidential nomination--Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY), former Vice-President Kamala Harris, Gov. Gavin Newsom (Calif), and former Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg--are not likely to get very many of these mentally healthy young men to vote for them."

US Attorney Resigns in Protest

Ben Schrader, Chief of the Criminal Division of the US Attorney's Office for the Middle District of Tennessee, resigned in protest after a federal grand jury indicted Kilmar Abrego Garcia for transporting undocumented migrants within the United States during the years 2016 through 2025.

"This prosecution is wrong on so many levels," Schrader complained. "When US District Judge James Boasberg ordered President Trump to retrieve this man he had deported to El Salvador the Judge's intent was that he would be set free, not be indicted and prosecuted. It's just more contempt of court from Trump."

"Worse still, Mr. Abrego Garcia's alleged 'crime' was essentially running a carpool for fellow undocumented immigrants," Schrader argued. "Our government has long supported the environmental benefits of ride-sharing. Why should this man be punished for doing what our government has been urging every citizen to do whenever possible? President Biden didn't think he should. He ordered the ICE agents who first apprehended Abrego Garcia in Tennessee driving a vehicle packed with immigrants to 'let him go.' It is unconstitutional double jeopardy for him to be be tried after this earlier presidential exoneration."

Attorney General Pam Bondi thanked Mr. Schrader "for saving us the trouble of firing him. If President Biden had wanted to grant Mr. Abrego Garcia a pardon he needed to do more than just say 'let him go.' He signed thousands of pardons, but not one of them has Abrego Garcia's name on it. Since he has never faced a trial for trafficking illegals there is no double jeopardy. Mr. Schrader's ignorance of the meaning of double jeopardy is enough to disqualify him as a lawyer. He should surrender his law license."