Is Monogamy Over? Inside Love’s Sharing Economy

[jmyrlefuller]

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/is-monogamy-over-inside-love-s-sharing-economy

by Michelle Ruiz
April 5, 2022

In a national survey conducted by data analytics firm YouGov in 2020, only 56 percent cited complete monogamy as their ideal relationship style, a 5 percent drop from 2016. An estimated 23 percent of respondents said their relationships were already non-monogamous, echoing breakthrough 2017 research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, which found that more than one in five single Americans in their study had tried consensual non-monogamy. “You could go to the grocery store, close your eyes, point at someone, and as long as there’s at least five people in that grocery store, one of them is probably engaged in non-monogamy,” says one of the study’s authors, Amy Moors, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. At a minimum, the CNM community is “as large as the LGBTQ population in the United States,” Kimberly Rhoten, a founding member of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, tells me.

Nor is aspiring to monogamy any longer the societal default: When asked about their relationship ideal, from completely open to completely monogamous, the number of people who replied “I don’t know” more than doubled in the 2020 YouGov study, leaping from 5 percent in 2016 to 12 percent. “More people are starting to question,” says Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at New York University, who researches non-monogamy. “There are a couple of cultural shifts that are really making monogamy—complete, strict, lifelong monogamy—a very difficult thing to pull off.”

(excerpt)

[jmyrlefuller]

We've gone from "there's someone for everyone" to "you will share a wife and like it."

[GtHawk]

I remember when monogamy was supposed to be over in the 60’s……70’s……80’s etc. There will always be be those that live outside ‘most’ peoples societal norms.

[The_Reader_David]

The article was from 2022.  Just this morning over on Bari Weiss's Substack, The Free Press, Suzy Weiss was opining that polyamory and "ethical non-monogagy" are on their way out as cultural trends.

[roamer_1]

The article was from 2022.  Just this morning over on Bari Weiss's Substack, The Free Press, Suzy Weiss was opining that polyamory and "ethical non-monogagy" are on their way out as cultural trends.

Of course that's true. It lives (and has only lived) in the woke under 30s and a few old feminists with their cats.

[Wingnut]

I like Mahogany, a good hard wood.

[berdie]

Cheating has been going on for decades. So what else is new?

[DefiantMassRINO]

Love triangles make for great murder porn.

[corbe]

    It's hard enough to take care of ONE Woman (Robin), which will be my last.  I remember cheating on my 2 wives, I had much more Energy back then.

[The_Reader_David]

Cheating has been going on for decades millennia. So what else is new?

There, fixed that.

[Hoodat]

I like Mahogany, a good hard wood.

@Wingnut

Are you any relation to Emily Litella?

[Smokin Joe]

Let me put it this way.

I have known many folks who had 'open' marriages. They made no pretense of monogamy, including multiple simultaneous partners, and claimed they were fine with that.

Not one of those marriages lasted.

Not one.

What works, works, what does not, does not.

Ultimately, there is little more emotionally and financially impoverishing than divorce, and that isn't even talking about the effect on any kids caught up in it.

[Hoodat]

Marriage is a covenant with G-d.  Adultery is one of the big Ten.

[Smokin Joe]

Marriage is a covenant with G-d.  Adultery is one of the big Ten.

While some might succumb to that lascivious temptation, the only way to have a truly happy and successful marriage is to first find someone equally determined to be your other half, commit fully, and keep the vow to the exclusion of all others.  Mrs. Joe and I lived that, with great success.