Democrats
2024 Man of the Year: Doug Emhoff
Washington Free Beacon Staff
December 27, 2024
At first we felt a little sorry for you, Doug. We had naturally assumed you'd been pressed into service by the Democratic Party, that your "marriage" to Kamala Harris—several months before launching her U.S. Senate campaign—was arranged via some internal Craigslist for politically ambitious bachelorettes eager to liberate themselves from the Sugar Daddy lifestyle. When Joe Biden dropped out of the race and you were too busy to take your wife's call because you were "messing around" with your "gay friends" after "SoulCycle class" in West Hollywood, we weren't the least bit surprised. We couldn't have been more wrong.
The Doug Emhoff we have gotten to know over the course of the 2024 presidential campaign is nothing like the effeminate beta-cuck trophy beard we'd long assumed you to be. You weren't a simping "wife guy," after all. You didn't "redefine masculinity," you rekindled it. You embodied it like a man. We'd always wondered why your first marriage failed, and we were happy to learn there was a perfectly reasonable explanation. You were horny, so you banged the nanny. You got her pregnant, of course, because condoms are for cowards. You also hired a "trophy secretary" named Katya at your hotshot law firm, and she was so "talented" it made all your partners jealous. Eventually some angsty feminists complained that Katya was "unqualified" and sued the firm for sex discrimination, but you refused to apologize for being a dude.
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https://freebeacon.com/men-of-the-year/2024-man-of-the-year-doug-emhoff/
