90 Year Old Mom Needs Social Security to Survive
On the campaign trail this week the Democrat nominee for vice-president Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz told the story of "a 90 year-old woman who wouldn't be able to feed herself if it weren't for the Social Security check she receives each month. This is the kind of person that the Democratic Party is fighting for. I'm proud to say that she's my Mom."
The Republican nominee for vice-president Ohio Sen. JD Vance questioned "whether Gov. Walz's mother is really in dire circumstances. I read that her son's income from his salary as governor plus his pensions and annuities is around $300,000 a year. It seems that he could afford to supplement her Social Security pension so she wouldn't have to worry where her next meal is coming from."
Walz retorted "unlike Mr. Vance I've never been part of the privileged elite. I didn't go to Yale. I am not a money-grubbing capitalist profiteer price gouging needy consumers like my Mom. I've always been a hard-working public servant. First as a public school teacher, then a member of Congress, and now as the governor of the great state of Minnesota. Since every penny I've earned came from the public treasury I'm not a proper target for the kind of income redistribution he suggests. Besides, my Mom doesn't want to burden me. She values her independence. Look, the government has trillions of dollars and can get more simply by raising taxes. Heck, it can even print money. It could easily cover my Mom's needs without my help."
"On a more basic level, the notion that people ought to be compensated based upon the value of their contributions to society is inherently inequitable. Just because a person can do more doesn't mean he should be able to receive more than a fair share. Each person's share should be based on need. A democratically elected government is the only institution qualified to determine need. Justice requires that it take from those who have more than they need and reallocate it to those who have less than they need. This is the fundamental transformation of America that President Obama promised and that President Kamala Harris and I will deliver."
In related news, the Cato Institute's 2024 Fiscal Report Card on the Governors was just released. Governors receiving an A are those who have cut taxes and spending the most, whereas governors receiving an F have increased taxes and spending the most. Minnesota Governor Tim Walz received an F.
Dem Gov Praises Biden/Harris Administration
Even though he was rejected for the Democrat vice-presidential nomination in favor of self-admitted "knucklehead" Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro appeared on CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360" to support the Harris/Walz ticket. Cooper opened the discussion by saying "in two venues this week the Vice-President has been asked how her administration would differ from that of President Biden. On 'The View' she said 'nothing comes to mind.' On Fox News she said 'I'm not Joe Biden.' Do you believe she is different than the Biden administration?"
"I don't see any reason why she should be different," Shapiro replied. "Look, the Biden term has been a great success. Just the other day former President Bill Clinton pointed out that the 11 million new migrants that have entered our country since Biden took office are a great addition to our population. President Biden encouraged them to come by promising to take care of them. Now that they're here they will have the babies American citizens won't have. They will cast the ballots needed to ensure that progressive government will prevail."
"The cost of living has gotten higher, but it has been worth it," the Governor insisted. "Rising food costs are one of the most effective weapons for fighting the obesity epidemic. Inability to pay for what it costs to overeat is a more certain deterrent than pure willpower. Higher prices for gasoline and automobiles will discourage wasteful travel in personal vehicles. The air is cleaner and the extra walking necessary to reach bus stops and rail stations provides healthy exercise that will also reduce obesity."
"The advances on the LGBTQ bill of rights has liberated thousands from the prison of their assigned at birth gender," he added. "In the long run this could lead to significant savings by eliminating duplicate restrooms, locker rooms, and athletic teams. By encouraging more same sex marriages and the sterilizing transsexual surgeries means that fewer abortions will be necessary. So, in sum, I think Vice-President Harris should embrace the greatness of the Biden Presidency and promise to finish the job, rather than try to feign some phony disagreement."
In related news, Juanita Broaddrick--the woman who accused Clinton of raping her--said "Harris' decision to employ the degenerate former president to campaign for her undermines her claim to be a defender of women."
Harris Dismisses Plagiarism Complaint
The revelation that Kamala Harris' 2009 book Smart on Crime: A Career Prosecutor's Plan to Make Us Safer contained significant sections of writing stolen from other authors was dismissed by the Vice-President as "much ado about nothing. First, I did not write that book. It was written for me by Joan O'C. Hamilton. Since I didn't even read it I don't see how I can be blamed for any of its contents."
"Second, politicians stealing the words of others has become so common that it has earned 'easement' status," she asserted. "This means that trespassing on the property of others that has gone on for years becomes a right under the law--kind of like the migrants who have been illegally crossing our borders for so long that it is now their right to do so. Why should I be held to a higher standard than they are?"
"Finally, there are only so many words in the English language, anyone who talks as much as I do is bound to repeat what someone else has previously said," she added. "Rather than get all huffy about it we ought to consider the repetition of the same thoughts as a vindication of their merit. So, in essence we should consider my book a repository of wisdom. Maybe I will benefit from it if I ever have time to read it."
"Only a Handful of Apartment Complexes"
During an interview of Republican vice-presidential nominee Sen. JD Vance on ABC, the takeover of apartments in Aurora, Colorado by violent armed criminal gangs from Venezuela was brushed off by Martha Raddatz as "affecting only a handful of apartment complexes. Considering that 11 million new immigrants have entered the country since President Biden took office this seems a tolerably small increase in crime and nothing to get hysterical about."
Vance interjected "do you hear yourself? Only a handful of apartment complexes were taken over by Venezuelan gangs and Donald Trump is the problem and not Kamala Harris' open border? Just the other day while he was campaigning for Harris former President Bill Clinton admitted that letting unvetted immigrants swarm into our country was responsible for the murder of Laken Riley. Real people are being subjected to crimes that never would've occurred if the superior border security policies of the prior Trump Administration had merely been continued when the Biden/Harris ticket took office in January 2021."
Afterwards Raddatz suggested that "our big mistake was to put Vance on live TV. This allowed him to make unedited comments that undermined the narrative we were hoping to convey to our viewers. I think we need to be more disciplined and NEVER permit anyone such transparent access to our audience. Every interview involving any political figure must only be aired on tape. That way we could edit the content and prevent the type of misinformation that Vance was able to communicate to millions of people."
In related news, violent Venezuelan gangs have also set up operations in Dallas (Tx), El Paso (Tx), Houston (Tx), San Antonio (Tx), Chicago (Il), New York City, Athens (Ga), Miami (Fl), Stamford (Ct), and Prarie du Chien (Wi). Raddatz would likely point out that "this is only a small fraction of America's cities." In total, more than 38,000 illegal aliens known to have been convicted or charged with homicide, kidnapping and sexual assault have been left free to roam about the country by the Biden Administration.
Harris Offers Freebies for Black Votes
In a desperate bid to win back the votes of Black men defecting to Trump, Vice-President Kamala Harris is now offering "special incentives that may be of interest to our Black brothers. First, I'm going to legalize weed at the national level. This will prevent any state from arresting anyone for possessing or using marijuana. Second, I'm going to give forgivable loans--that means you don't have to pay the money back--to Black men so you can start businesses of your own."
One potential target of her pandering asked "so she's saying that I can get $20,000 to start a weed smoking business and not have to payback the loan? How is that legal? I thought the Supreme Court already ruled that racial discrimination when giving government benefits are not legal."
A spokesperson for the Harris/Walz campaign explained that "a different part of the Democratic platform includes an expansion of the Supreme Court. President Harris will appoint and a Democrat majority Senate will affirm a sufficient number of new Justices to the Court to reverse the earlier ruling on racial discrimination. Since Blacks have been at a disadvantage under the laws of this country for over 400 years we need to balance that out with 400 years of preferential treatment. It's called reparations."
In related news, when someone at a recent Harris rally shouted "Jesus is the Lord," Harris immediately responded saying "you are at the wrong rally." Both she and the crowd roared with laughter--once again showing her campaign to be one of joy and unity.
Christians Lack Empathy on Abortion
In an effort to woo Christian women to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket, "The View" co-host Whoopi Goldberg asserted that "it seems to me that Christian opposition to the reproductive right of a woman to seek to abort her unwanted child shows a lack of the empathy Jesus wants us to show for our fellow humans. No one is insisting that Christians abort their own children. All we are asking is that they respect the right of others to exercise this option."
Frequent viewer of "The View" and author of the book Toxic Empathy, Allie Beth Stuckey said "Goldberg's pitch is a perfect example of what I call 'toxic empathy.' This is urging sympathy for someone about to do a bad thing. The vast majority of abortions are not performed for sound medical reasons, but for the convenience of the woman or the man who impregnated her. Sure, parenthood is a demanding role for a person. You have created a new life and will need to care for this person until he or she is an adult. This is a challenge, but it is not a tragedy that warrants the death of the undesired offspring."
"What about demonstrating some empathy for the innocent individual that each abortion kills?" Stuckey asked. "Scientists have confirmed that a fetus can feel pain as early as eight weeks after conception. The various methods of disposing of these unwanted children are violent and gruesome--crushing skulls and tearing off limbs in an effort to extract the child from the womb. Why don't the advocates for abortion have empathy for the victims of these horrific fates?"
Goldberg said "we don't know for sure whether these babies suffer pain during an abortion, but even if they do, it is mercifully brief--only a few seconds before they're dead. Compare that to the decades of burden on the reluctant mother who may lash out at the child she didn't want. Isn't a swift death preferable to years of abuse or neglect? I think most women would agree and confidently cast their ballots for Democrats all down the ballot."
In related news, Adam Smith-Connor, a British army veteran, was found guilty of praying silently near an abortion clinic in England. "All I did was pray to God, in the privacy of my own mind, and yet I stand convicted as a criminal?" Smith Connor complained. The Court explained "he admitted that he was thinking anti-abortion thoughts while he was near an abortion clinic. This is a violation of the law."
