Today's Toons 7/1/24

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:



In Case You Missed It Dept.:

President Biden won the pre-debate coin toss and, out of habit, pocketed the coin.

Donald Trump told Wisconsin if President Biden is alert and sharp during next week's debate it'll be because he did a pile of cocaine just beforehand. Somebody get a screenwriter on this right away. Donald the Outlaw and Joe Blow is the best movie title since Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Donald Trump's judge in the hush money trial Judge Juan Merchan altered his gag order two days before the debate. He left in place a ban on Trump commenting about the judge or the DA. I think it's very Democratic to gag and muffle Trump in the debate until he and Biden sound equally intelligible.

President Biden is spending ten days in Camp David debate rehearsing in a studio set up to look like Thursday's venue. He'll be totally rested and ready. Joe also has 16 men with him on standby at Camp David, 8 for the debate coaching and 8 in case he needs an organ donation before the big night.

Fox News predicts the sparks will fly once the candidates begin pushing their favorite topics in tonight's debate. Trump will hammer away at illegal immigration, urban crime and runaway inflation. Joe Biden is almost sure to ask how many Pearl Harbors and 9/11s does it take to equal one January 6th.

CNN prime time hosts Jake Tapper and Dana Bash will moderate tonight's presidential debate between Trump and Biden inside CNN's original headquarters in Atlanta. To make it fair, the debate commission laid out strict conditions. For instance, there will be no live audience and one live candidate.

Saw the debate tonight. Looking forward to the next one between Trump and Hillary.

During tonight's debate Joe Biden lost his train of thought. There were no survivors.

Joe Biden's performance tonight was the first evidence that Boeing also manufactures presidential campaigns.

Democrats are asking Hillary to make it look like an accident.

Trump indicted in Georgia for beating up an old man in public.

The National Weather Service reported that dozens of high temperature records were broken by the heat wave that descended on the Eastern Seaboard this week. It raises hopes for Democrats. It is so hot back east that President Biden could unfreeze for 90 minutes and have a great debate Thursday.

President Biden left Italy Friday and headed for L.A. to attend a huge-dollar fundraiser for his presidential campaign headlined by Hollywood Democratic stars including Martin Sheen. The actor in his own way is a pioneer. In 1979, Martin Sheen was in Apocalypse Now, and today we all are.

The good news is, Hamas no longer throws gay people off tall buildings now that there are no longer any tall buildings in Gaza.

President Biden saw the poll numbers and lost his temper today and placed America on Double Secret Affirmative Action.

LA City Council bans traffic signs that read No U-Turn saying they are homophobic. Wait till they see the signs that read Wrong Way: Do Not Enter.

President Biden at the G-7 repeated his vow to help Ukraine defeat Russia and usher Ukraine into NATO. If you thought Social Security was a bad deal for the next two generations, just wait until a president ignites a nuclear war on his deathbed. The good news is, your student loans will be forgiven.

CBS News in Los Angeles showed dramatic video Monday of a flash mob looting an Auto Zone store in South Central L.A., stealing everything inside. The mob was armed and their faces covered up. Auto Zone announced they will re-locate its South Central Los Angeles store to a safer location, in Gaza.

Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman was in a car wreck Sunday which landed him and his wife in the hospital. His conservative comments have irked his fellow Democrats lately. They're hoping he hit his head on the windshield hard enough to re-join the party and vote the Progressive line.

President Biden enjoyed a star-studded Beverly Hills fundraiser Saturday. However at the end, Joe stood up and froze for ten seconds before Barack Obama came out onstage and led him off. At the after party, Joe walked over and thanked President Obama, who replied, I'm Denzel Washington!

Donald Trump's ex-lawyer, tormentor and prosecution witness Michael Cohen declared Friday that he's running for Congress. I'm not so sure if he'd fit in on Capitol Hill. Michael Cohen is a certified thief, liar, convicted perjurer and back-stabber, so he may be overqualified to serve in Congress.

CBS News reported that Donald Trump's promise in a Las Vegas speech to eliminate federal taxes on tips was catching on like wildfire in Nevada's service industry. Let the bidding begin. Democrats countered by making money spent on recreational drugs tax deductible, listed under Snacks.

The Los Angeles City Council voted Friday to remove traffic signs that read No U-Turn in gay neighborhoods because gay residents complained they are homophobic. I don't get it. And if they consider No U-Turn signs homophobic, wait until they see the ones that read Wrong Way: Do Not Enter.

-- Argus Hamilton

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie.   

[scottfreitas]

Monday morning July 1st thank-yous, Pookie! ;D

As the post-debate ramifications continue:




Because most people who watched the debate saw THIS:





Because the truth about FJB spreads mouth to mouth, told in the words of ordinary people like THIS:





Inflation still has no end in sight. It is continuing, "SOMEHOW" always highest in all the categories the US government does not use to measure inflation: food prices, energy prices, etc

And YES, it was 100% under DEMONCRAT Presidents that food, energy, etc were removed from the Inflation Pricing Index. No GOP President ever removed or redefined anything concerning inflation, I checked...

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

[Jimino]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie.   

You're welcome, Polly Ticks!

[pookie18]

Monday morning July 1st thank-yous, Pookie! ;D

As the post-debate ramifications continue:




Because most people who watched the debate saw THIS:





Because the truth about FJB spreads mouth to mouth, told in the words of ordinary people like THIS:





Inflation still has no end in sight. It is continuing, "SOMEHOW" always highest in all the categories the US government does not use to measure inflation: food prices, energy prices, etc

And YES, it was 100% under DEMONCRAT Presidents that food, energy, etc were removed from the Inflation Pricing Index. No GOP President ever removed or redefined anything concerning inflation, I checked...

My pleasure & thanks, Scott!

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Smokin Joe!

[pookie18]

Ciao Pookie, thanks for the toons!

Mornin' & my pleasure, as ever, Jimino!

[Cyber Liberty]

Thank goodness it's Monday!!!  Thanks for the Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!

[pookie18]

Thank goodness it's Monday!!!  Thanks for the Toons and Argus Extras, Pookie!!!!

You're welcome, CL!

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!

G'day, Ricebug!