An Obituary to Common Sense printed in the London Times
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with
us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated valuable lessons like:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can
earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge)
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they
themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became
pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your
own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a
huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death; He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
-by his parents, Truth and Trust, - I Know My Rights,
-by his wife, Discretion, - I Want It Now,
-by his daughter, Responsibility, - Someone Else Is To Blame,
-and by his son, Reason - I'm A Victim,
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember
him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing...
