Author Topic: Pope Apologizes For Catholic Church's Carbon Emissions From Burning Heretics At Stak  (Read 762 times)

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Offline rangerrebew

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Pope Apologizes For Catholic Church's Carbon Emissions From Burning Heretics At Stake
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Sep 20, 2018 · BabylonBee.com
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VATICAN CITY - The Pope has apologized for the Catholic Church's past acitivites burning heretics at the stake centuries ago, admitting that the practice was a carbon-emission-heavy activity that did not reflect good stewardship of the earth.

"It's clear now that the Catholic Church made missteps centuries ago, by not finding a carbon-neutral way to dispose of heretics," he said in a special address. "I am filled with regret when I think of the large carbon footprint left behind by the Reformers and other heretics previous Popes tortured and incinerated."

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The Pope confirmed that going forward, the Catholic Church will be purchasing carbon credits to offset the footprint of any heretics they decide to burn at the stake, as well as any documents they decide to torch before investigators get too close.

https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-apologizes-for-catholic-churchs-carbon-emissions-from-burning-heretics-at-stake?rc_uuid=bca42a3d-56a8-4125-ae52-17d737979f77
The unity of government which constitutes you one people is also now dear to you. It is justly so, for it is a main pillar in the edifice of your real independence, the support of your tranquility at home, your peace abroad; of your safety; of your prosperity; of that very liberty which you so highly prize. But as it is easy to foresee that, from different causes and from different quarters, much pains will be taken, many artifices employed to weaken in your minds the conviction of this truth.  George Washington - Farewell Address

Offline rangerrebew

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 :laughingdog: :mauslaff: Not too far from the truth!
The unity of government which constitutes you one people is also now dear to you. It is justly so, for it is a main pillar in the edifice of your real independence, the support of your tranquility at home, your peace abroad; of your safety; of your prosperity; of that very liberty which you so highly prize. But as it is easy to foresee that, from different causes and from different quarters, much pains will be taken, many artifices employed to weaken in your minds the conviction of this truth.  George Washington - Farewell Address

Offline Smokin Joe

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So, are they going to change the signals from the Curia when the next Pope is selected?
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline DefiantMassRINO

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"Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it’s entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." - Alan Simpson, Frontline Video Interview