Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't
Prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting
Attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to
The stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? "She
Responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
You were a young boy, and frankly, you've been
A big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
Manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
You're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
Amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
The room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney? "She
Again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
Youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
Can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
One of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
Wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
Him."The defence attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very
Quiet voice, said;
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
To the electric chair."
