Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread---2021 (Read 364455 times)

Hoodat · « **Reply #152 on:** March 12, 2021, 10:48:20 pm »

Quote from: corbe on March 12, 2021, 10:33:01 pm

LMAO! That's hysterical!

corbe · « **Reply #153 on:** March 12, 2021, 10:54:16 pm »

Smokin Joe · « **Reply #154 on:** March 12, 2021, 10:55:15 pm »

Quote from: corbe on March 12, 2021, 10:54:16 pm

Is golf racist? (most of the balls are white)

asking for a friend...

corbe · « **Reply #155 on:** March 12, 2021, 10:57:56 pm »

Hoodat · « **Reply #156 on:** March 12, 2021, 10:58:23 pm »

Racist AND sexist.

Smokin Joe · « **Reply #157 on:** March 12, 2021, 11:13:31 pm »

Quote from: Hoodat on March 12, 2021, 10:58:23 pm

Racist AND sexist.

IDK, Women can have putters, too.

corbe · « **Reply #158 on:** March 12, 2021, 11:13:48 pm »

240B · « **Reply #159 on:** March 13, 2021, 12:43:39 am »

Quote from: corbe on March 12, 2021, 11:13:48 pm

Dated a small petite woman once, 30+.
Her idea of sexy was to go into 'little girl' mode.
I went with it. It was ... different. But it kind of creeped me out.
Wasn't sure how to react. Made me feel like a pedophile.
But yes indeed, when she got pissed, she got super-duper pissed.
Way out of proportion for the situation.

Same with small people in general of either sex.
Some kind of defense mechanism.
When they get pissed, they tend to overreact.

corbe · « **Reply #160 on:** March 13, 2021, 11:25:39 am »

corbe · « **Reply #161 on:** March 13, 2021, 11:50:03 am »

Gefn · « **Reply #162 on:** March 13, 2021, 11:55:21 am »

Quote from: corbe on March 12, 2021, 11:13:48 pm

Um. Iâ€™m five feet tall and as my best friend here always said â€œThe best things in life come in small packagesâ€

@corbe

P.S. chipmunks are so cute imho.

corbe · « **Reply #163 on:** March 13, 2021, 12:12:54 pm »

@corbe

Well,yeah,in times past. The good news was I always knew what to do about it.

corbe · « **Reply #164 on:** March 13, 2021, 12:13:52 pm »

Good Morning @Gefn hope that you have a lovely weekend.

Gefn · « **Reply #165 on:** March 13, 2021, 12:40:30 pm »

Quote from: corbe on March 13, 2021, 12:13:52 pm

Good Morning @Gefn hope that you have a lovely weekend.

Iâ€™m leaving now to have brunch with my mom @corbe.
The sun is out, itâ€™s in the 50s, itâ€™s a beautiful day.

I hope you have one too. â¤ï¸

Smokin Joe · « **Reply #166 on:** March 13, 2021, 06:38:36 pm »

Quote from: corbe on March 13, 2021, 12:12:54 pm

Oh, Hell Yeah.

DCPatriot · « **Reply #167 on:** March 13, 2021, 07:19:33 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #168 on:** March 13, 2021, 09:46:25 pm »

I see Bernie,but who is the fat guy with him?

DCPatriot · « **Reply #169 on:** March 14, 2021, 10:02:43 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #170 on:** March 15, 2021, 08:53:32 pm »

Quote

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In hell.

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."
"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"

"Wait, I have to spend a day in hell?!" says the politician. "Those are the rules," replies St Peter, clicking his fingers and, WOOMPH, the guy disappears.

He awakens, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he's in hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass? This can't be right.

"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite. And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" the politician asks.

"Well, I'm satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to hell!" "Wait, this is hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering?" he asks.

satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit misrepresented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside."

Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbor!" says satan, answering his unasked question.

So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as satan signs autographs and cheerily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started.

And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying on important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him.

Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked. As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging bread sticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear. And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After hours of passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a happy sleep.

He is woken up by St Peter.

"So, that was hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then," says St Peter. "You can make your choice. It's hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on."

"Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer hell," says the politician. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" says St Peter and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulfurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other.

"What's this??", he cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???"

"Ah", says satan.

"You see, yesterday, we were campaigning.

"But today, you voted."

corbe · « **Reply #171 on:** March 18, 2021, 06:07:39 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #172 on:** March 21, 2021, 10:35:32 am »

catfish1957 · « **Reply #173 on:** March 21, 2021, 10:40:24 am »

Quote from: corbe on March 21, 2021, 10:35:32 am

Some things can not be "unseen"

corbe · « **Reply #174 on:** March 21, 2021, 10:53:19 am »

corbe · « **Reply #175 on:** March 21, 2021, 11:09:33 am »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #176 on:** March 21, 2021, 07:05:46 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #177 on:** March 21, 2021, 07:09:12 pm »

240B · « **Reply #178 on:** March 21, 2021, 07:54:09 pm »

There comes a time in every celebrity's life when no amount of money or plastic surgery can cover up decades of cocaine, alcohol, and whores.

corbe · « **Reply #179 on:** March 21, 2021, 08:02:25 pm »

verga · « **Reply #180 on:** March 22, 2021, 11:00:17 am »

Quote from: corbe on March 21, 2021, 08:02:25 pm

Hey Keith, Betty White is still around.

corbe · « **Reply #181 on:** March 23, 2021, 11:15:38 am »

AF1 now equipped with Handicap Pass

corbe · « **Reply #182 on:** March 23, 2021, 01:12:00 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #183 on:** March 23, 2021, 01:40:30 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #184 on:** March 23, 2021, 08:04:05 pm »

uglybiker · « **Reply #185 on:** March 25, 2021, 06:50:01 am »

Q. Who's the most popular guy at a nudist camp?

A. He's the guy carrying a cup of coffee in each hand.......

And a dozen donuts!

corbe · « **Reply #186 on:** March 25, 2021, 09:46:48 am »

Thought of you, my Friend @sneakypete

corbe · « **Reply #187 on:** March 25, 2021, 10:39:28 am »

corbe · « **Reply #188 on:** March 25, 2021, 01:57:21 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #189 on:** March 26, 2021, 11:03:09 am »

corbe · « **Reply #190 on:** March 26, 2021, 12:17:13 pm »

DCPatriot · « **Reply #191 on:** March 27, 2021, 09:00:03 am »

corbe · « **Reply #192 on:** March 27, 2021, 12:48:22 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #193 on:** March 27, 2021, 12:56:04 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #194 on:** March 27, 2021, 01:09:12 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #195 on:** March 27, 2021, 02:44:01 pm »

240B · « **Reply #196 on:** March 27, 2021, 04:27:29 pm »

Right_in_Virginia · « **Reply #197 on:** March 27, 2021, 05:41:52 pm »

corbe · « **Reply #198 on:** March 28, 2021, 11:05:18 am »

corbe · « **Reply #199 on:** March 29, 2021, 08:06:12 pm »