Did the Kotex Mafia move the needle for Biden?

[Wingnut]

Think about it.   Suburban Karen's might be a force to recon with. I have seen them.

[Wingnut]

I met a Karen today. A Biden supporter.  As most of you know I am a smartass by nature  and my wife often jokes that I'm paid well to tell people where they can stick it and make them happy to hear it. But these skills are lost on the Wild Karen.  I was shopping today and was dressed in unnatural Florida attire. Instead of flip-flops, shorts and a fishing shirt I had on a button down shirt and dress pants when the mating call of the wild Karen.  "Ex-CUSE me?!"
I turn around to see a specimen of at least forty years trying desperately to be mistaken for her own daughter in, what I can only assume, was a pair of yoga pants, furry boots, a shirt that was strategically unbuttoned and a huge pair of sunglasses acting as a solar panel for her 'Let me speak to your manager' haircut.

[Wingnut]

What was the issue?

You.

[Wingnut]

So anyway.   IF LA will shut the F up I will continue...

 I pushed my cart further away and swept my arm where I was standing, and said, "Sorry. Didn't know I was blocking you." But, alas, this story would not have made it here if that was all she needed. No, Karen did not want to graze the products I was blocking from her view.  Nope, she had used her cosmic powers on me without my realizing, you see. Because now I was no longer shopping for dinner. I had been granted employment. And Karen was not pleased at my performance so far, "No. I need you to help me find the Kotex pads".  I decide to assume she's perhaps dazzled in bright lights without her solar panel glasses guarding her beady eyes, so I smile and politely say, "I'm sorry. I don't work here."

[Wingnut]

Her eyes narrow, now looking like the shining black of a shark, and the games have now begun, "You're wearing a uniform, don't give me that (EXPLETIVE DELETED)!    My eyebrow rises and in my head I hear the ringside bell. Ok, Karen. Game on.
So in my best I-really-don't give a f*ck  voice and smile I say, "What was it you needed help finding, ma'am?"  I see the flinch. I said ma'am and she didn't like it. Don't show weakness now, we've only started. But in the same condescending tone she wails, "I need pads. Now show me to it."  Okay.  She must be a bleeder.  Hard to believe but what the hell.  Menopause waits for no women...

[Wingnut]

I nod and pushed my bascart along as I head to the rear of the store. She doesn't look pleased that I'm bringing the buggy, but if she says anything she does so under her breath and I know soon enough she'll have plenty to complain about. So I savor the moment where the only sound is the slap-slap of her boots ricocheting off the floor and on the heels of her feet inside.
I walk several aisles. After a dozen she starts to huff and puff and I can hear the faintest grumbling about why it was "so hidden away" and "why did she have to walk so far" ect. Not directed at me, but I'm not deaf so I can hear her childish tantrums just fine. Thank God she cant see the evil smile on my face. 

If anyone is following along to this point... I was so wanting to tell the Ryans Steakhouse story.  But having been able to say Kotex is enough of a movement for tonight.

[Wingnut]

Now, I know that there is a lot of embellishment that occurs on this group and I am aware that a small number of things are perhaps sheer fabrication, but I have a story to tell that is the absolute truth. Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me.

A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner...  But I digress...Back to My Kotex Karen story

[Wingnut]

Ryans can wait....   Back to the story at hand...,.,

Passing the last row of groceries, I hang a left. Passing seasonal, candies, luggage, travel ect. She's behind me in such a blurry huff of muttering anger, I don't know if she's questioning the marital status of my parents, the life choices that brought her here or both. But she's not happy and it sounds more and more like a car that wont start and less like a person talking to themself.
As we reach the book section I wheel the cart right over and start down an aisle. Now the Karen is really angry, "Where the f8ck are you going?! I'm looking for Tampons! If you're too stupid to find it, then maybe I should be talking to your manager!" I stop in front of the small children's section and grab a thin copy of what's basically toddler's first spelling book. A few letters playing with a small child on the cover, and a title about learning the first few letters of the alphabet.
Perfect.
Walking back to the red-faced Karen, I offer the book. I don't say anything, I just extend my arm, showing her the cover. Like most people would she takes the offered book, looks at it, looks at me and basically growls, "What the Fuc  is this?! Are you F'ing stupid?! Where is your manager? You're absolutely awful!"
Her wailing has attracted at least two employees who seem to recognize the whiny wails of the retail-native Karen. One is on a small radio, calling who I assume is the manager while another is coming our way with that terror in their eyes that only an entitled middle aged woman with an attitude problem can cause.
With a smile I gesture to the book in her hands and say in my absolute best customer service voice, "Actually ma'am, I thought since you cant tell the bleep difference difference between a customer and an employee, you must not be able to read. So I figure this book can help."  Karen. Was. LIVID. She proceeded to throw the book at me (literally and figuratively) and start screaming. I dodged the book as her howls of rage wound up, "How DARE you talk to me that way?! I want this man's manager right now! He needs to be fired!"

[Cyber Liberty]

Ah!  I now see the relevance of the Title!  And, @Wingnut, thanks for leaving the Steakhouse story aside....

[catfish1957]

Ah!  I now see the relevance of the Title!  And, @Wingnut, thanks for leaving the Steakhouse story aside....

The Ryan's Steakhouse story is about the funniest damn thing I have ever read on-line.  I think the story put them out of business.   

[Wingnut]

Epolog!

Oh no. She still didn't get the point. Maybe I should have started with an easier book? Dr Seuss? Maybe something on tape?
She hasn't slowed down, is cussing like a rabid honey badger high on PcP, and somewhere in that string of expletives were words that vaguely made a caveman type sense. Short phrases mostly. The employee is trying desperately to put out the fire that is Karen, her face is so red I swear smoke is coming from that horrible dye job, and the distant employee on the walkie is obviously begging for a manager or a priest.
I step back, away from any flailing pieces, and just wait politely. Taking a second to text my wife that I was held up, and to expect a good story when I got home. Her response, because she knows me, "What did you do now?"
I love that woman.

[Cyber Liberty]

Epolog!

Oh no. She still didn't get the point. Maybe I should have started with an easier book? Dr Seuss? Maybe something on tape?
She hasn't slowed down, is cussing like a rabid honey badger high on PcP, and somewhere in that string of expletives were words that vaguely made a caveman type sense. Short phrases mostly. The employee is trying desperately to put out the fire that is Karen, her face is so red I swear smoke is coming from that horrible dye job, and the distant employee on the walkie is obviously begging for a manager or a priest.
I step back, away from any flailing pieces, and just wait politely. Taking a second to text my wife that I was held up, and to expect a good story when I got home. Her response, because she knows me, "What did you do now?"
I love that woman.

It seems I am a wife...I've been asking you the same question.

[Wingnut]

It seems I am a wife...I've been asking you the same question.

  

[Cyber Liberty]