Ryans can wait.... Back to the story at hand...,.,
Passing the last row of groceries, I hang a left. Passing seasonal, candies, luggage, travel ect. She's behind me in such a blurry huff of muttering anger, I don't know if she's questioning the marital status of my parents, the life choices that brought her here or both. But she's not happy and it sounds more and more like a car that wont start and less like a person talking to themself.
As we reach the book section I wheel the cart right over and start down an aisle. Now the Karen is really angry, "Where the f8ck are you going?! I'm looking for Tampons! If you're too stupid to find it, then maybe I should be talking to your manager!" I stop in front of the small children's section and grab a thin copy of what's basically toddler's first spelling book. A few letters playing with a small child on the cover, and a title about learning the first few letters of the alphabet.
Perfect.
Walking back to the red-faced Karen, I offer the book. I don't say anything, I just extend my arm, showing her the cover. Like most people would she takes the offered book, looks at it, looks at me and basically growls, "What the Fuc is this?! Are you F'ing stupid?! Where is your manager? You're absolutely awful!"
Her wailing has attracted at least two employees who seem to recognize the whiny wails of the retail-native Karen. One is on a small radio, calling who I assume is the manager while another is coming our way with that terror in their eyes that only an entitled middle aged woman with an attitude problem can cause.
With a smile I gesture to the book in her hands and say in my absolute best customer service voice, "Actually ma'am, I thought since you cant tell the bleep difference difference between a customer and an employee, you must not be able to read. So I figure this book can help." Karen. Was. LIVID. She proceeded to throw the book at me (literally and figuratively) and start screaming. I dodged the book as her howls of rage wound up, "How DARE you talk to me that way?! I want this man's manager right now! He needs to be fired!"