Today's Toons 2/4/19

[pookie18]

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
President Trump tossed an olive branch to the House, offering to open the government for three weeks in return for down payment wall funding while they negotiate the final deal, but he got no response. Trump is finding it very difficult to negotiate with Pelosi. It's like talking to a wall. 
 
President Trump agreed to delay his State of the Union speech until after the shutdown ends. This speech is a tradition we inherited from England in the King's address to Parliament. And from France, we've inherited the tradition of half the country always wanting to behead the King.
 
The U.S. refused to recognize Venezuelan dictator Nicholas Maduro as head of the government after his ouster by the parliament as the country plunged into economic chaos. Socialism always leaves the people on the streets asking one question. How many calories are there in a horse?
 
ABC News retracted its story that the drum-banging Native American protestor Nathan Philips is a Vietnam vet as was claimed after his face-off with school kids on the Mall. It's a huge issue. Fellow Native American Elizabeth Warren leaped to his defense, insisting he is 1/1024th Vietnam vet.
 
Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez spoke to a climate forum in Washington where she declared that the world will end in twelve years. She's a socialist who wants to slap a seventy percent income tax on people. All I can say is, if Venezuela can make it work, why can't we? 
 
Politico reports furloughed federal workers have been offered free mental health counseling by psychologists in Washington. The workers do need help. Most of them are Democrats, and with nothing else to do, it looks like all eight hundred thousand of them have decided to run for president.
 
California Senator Kamala Harris was the leader of the first poll of Democratic candidates on Monday. So let me be the first of many to say it. Kamala Harris sexually assaulted me at a house party many years ago, I don't remember any of the details but you have to believe me or you're sexist.
 
West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin gave an interview Sunday in which he disclosed his plans to run for president of the United States next year, and he'll have no trouble standing out. Joe Manchin is easily distinguishable from the other forty-six Democratic candidates. He's the Democrat.
 
Aero Mexico announced Tuesday it will be offering airline ticket price discounts to customers in proportion to the Mexican DNA they can show to the ticket agent. Along the same line, tribal casinos announced they'll be offering restaurant discounts to customers pro-rated on the percentage of their Indian blood they can prove. For instance, Elizabeth Warren would pay an extra ten percent.
 
House Democrats tried to rein in new Members who sleep in their offices and make news with social media. They're making their mark fast. Socialist Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been in Congress for only six weeks and already her portrait is on Venezuelan government bonds.
 
Venezuela teetered on the edge of chaos as Nicholas Maduro refused to step down as president as the U.S., Britain and Canada recognized his rival. The country is certainly no ad for a socialist economy. If you toilet-paper someone's house in Venezuela, it's a wedding present.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 

(Thank you, Reagan_Fanatic)

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie!

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie!

You're welcome, Polly Ticks!

[verga]

Nice Job Pookie

[pookie18]

Nice Job Pookie

Thanks, Verga!

[240B]

In military terms, 29 armed troops would constitute a platoon of soldiers.
Mueller sent a platoon of armed agents to question a 66 year old "suspect" and his 67 year old wife.
Obviously, Mueller expected them to resist with automatic weapons.
You know, because that's what they are famous for doing.
These are deadly, dangerous people. Make sure everyone is locked and loaded and has body armor on.
Then Mueller decided to put CNN in danger by putting them in the middle of the crossfire.

[pookie18]

In military terms, 29 armed troops would constitute a platoon of soldiers.
Mueller sent a platoon of armed agents to question a 66 year old "suspect" and his 67 year old wife.
Obviously, Mueller expected them to resist with automatic weapons.
You know, because that's what they are famous for doing.
These are deadly, dangerous people. Make sure everyone is locked and loaded and has body armor on.
Then Mueller decided to put CNN in danger by putting them in the middle of the crossfire.

Move on! Nothing to see there!

[uglybiker]

Well gee whiz! Now ol' Koogly-eyes Cortez says we've got 12 years.
Things are looking up!

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

My pleasure, Smokin Joe!

[240B]

OK troops. We're going in to arrest Roger Stone, an extremely dangerous man. I'm going to need every armed agent we have. I've also called in the National Guard for backup support. Prepare for a real fight, a fire fight! Bring the grenades, bazookas, and any other heavy ordinance you can muster.

Roger Stone yells, "Come and get me coppers!! Say hello to my little friend!!"

[pookie18]

OK troops. We're going in to arrest Roger Stone, an extremely dangerous man. I'm going to need every armed agent we have. I've also called in the National Guard for backup support. Prepare for a real fight, a fire fight! Bring the grenades, bazookas, and any other heavy ordinance you can muster.

Roger Stone yells, "Come and get me coppers!! Say hello to my little friend!!"

Make that my little friends...

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!!!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!!!

G'day, Ricebug!