Dearest,
When looking at the enemy lines, we can often see General Trump, his stubby fingers silhouetted against the sunrise, issuing orders to his troops as he types on his iPhone. I wish there was a higher power to pray to for strength, as it is so tempting to shoot, but we are under orders not to do so, as he hurts them more than us.
#secondcivilwarletters
Dearest Sarah,
We attacked the enemy by surprise with bicycle locks, and they responded with military tactics and guns. Please start a change.org petition to outlaw them being so unfair.
#secondcivilwarletters