@Wingnut
The next time you grab a coffeee stirrer out of the box at work or church just remember that ~54% of men and~ 33% of women do not wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
My company fixed that for me. They gradually laid off everybody I worked with, until eventually I became the last person in my lab. I have a one-cup coffee brewer with individually sealed coffee pods (Senseo), My refrigerator is filled with 1/2 liter water bottles and food from home, and a machine gun to keep everybody away. OK, that last part was a lie, but it's true my personality keeps them away.
My boss mails me my performance reviews.