Author Topic: What Adults Who Don’t Have ADHD Should Know About Adults Who Do  (Read 3460 times)

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rangerrebew

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What Adults Who Don’t Have ADHD Should Know About Adults Who Do

For starters, they're not rude, and they can be more sensitive than they seem.
By Jennifer Lea Reynolds, Contributor May 31, 2017, at 9:00 a.m.
   

Julia Breur, a licensed clinical psychotherapist in Boca Raton, Florida, says it's important to clarify and even correct many false beliefs surrounding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. "There are numerous myths and misconceptions about ADHD that are considered to be facts by those who do not appear to understand what ADHD exactly is," she says. If you're an adult who does not have ADHD, here are some things to keep in mind about other adults who do.

A person with ADHD can't just turn off behaviors the same way a neurotypical person, Breur says. While medication and psychotherapy can help manage symptoms, Breur notes others may still perceive such individuals as perpetually rude, irresponsible, insensitive or clumsy. People without the disorder often stick with these assumptions, thinking that all a person with ADHD has to do is simply try harder. Such thoughts are unfair, Breur adds, because "people with ADHD try hard their entire life."

https://health.usnews.com/health-care/patient-advice/articles/2017-05-31/what-adults-who-dont-have-adhd-should-know-about-adults-who-do

Offline Sanguine

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A couple of observations:

1. ADHD does exist, it occurs mostly in boys, and it is overdiagnosed and overused today.  Some of what is considered aberrant and ADHD behavior is simply that of bored and physically inactive children.
2.  Every one of us has learning and social difficulties, that we have to learn how to work with and minimize and/or use to our advantage.  Some of us have more difficulties in some areas than others. 
3.  The world does not adapt to us; we have to learn to adapt to the world.  Some of us are better at it than others.  So what?

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A couple of observations:

1. ADHD does exist, it occurs mostly in boys, and it is overdiagnosed and overused today.  Some of what is considered aberrant and ADHD behavior is simply that of bored and physically inactive children.
2.  Every one of us has learning and social difficulties, that we have to learn how to work with and minimize and/or use to our advantage.  Some of us have more difficulties in some areas than others. 
3.  The world does not adapt to us; we have to learn to adapt to the world.  Some of us are better at it than others.  So what?

Do you have ADHD?  Or know well an adult who does?

Offline Sanguine

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Do you have ADHD?  Or know well an adult who does?

Yes, I do.  Why do you ask?

Offline RoosGirl

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Bah, those kids just need to be spanked more.  :smokin:

Offline endicom

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Yes, I do.  Why do you ask?


I noticed the Tourette but not the ADHD.


Offline skeeter

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A couple of observations:

1. ADHD does exist, it occurs mostly in boys, and it is overdiagnosed and overused today.  Some of what is considered aberrant and ADHD behavior is simply that of bored and physically inactive children.
2.  Every one of us has learning and social difficulties, that we have to learn how to work with and minimize and/or use to our advantage.  Some of us have more difficulties in some areas than others. 
3.  The world does not adapt to us; we have to learn to adapt to the world.  Some of us are better at it than others.  So what?

I'm very close to someone exhibiting most of these symptoms. Its vexing to say the least.

I don't look at it so much as a defect as a personality type. But as a coping mechanism its useful to be able to name it rather than just struggle with its effects.

Oceander

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Yes, I do.  Why do you ask?

Welcome to the club.  I’ll give you a certificate when I get around to finishing the design.  ;^)

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A couple of observations:

1. ADHD does exist, it occurs mostly in boys, and it is overdiagnosed and overused today.  Some of what is considered aberrant and ADHD behavior is simply that of bored and physically inactive children.
2.  Every one of us has learning and social difficulties, that we have to learn how to work with and minimize and/or use to our advantage.  Some of us have more difficulties in some areas than others. 
3.  The world does not adapt to us; we have to learn to adapt to the world.  Some of us are better at it than others.  So what?

My 39yo son has ADHD ....and those here who don't believe this is a disease don't know what they are talking about...
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Offline Sanguine

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I noticed the Tourette but not the ADHD.


Since we're talking about my son, I'm not sure what you think you were noticing. 

Offline Sanguine

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Welcome to the club.  I’ll give you a certificate when I get around to finishing the design.  ;^)

 :beer:

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Welcome to the club.  I’ll give you a certificate when I get around to finishing the design.  ;^)

Be sure and make one for me, too.  @Sanguine isn't the only one.   :smokin:
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
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Offline endicom

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Since we're talking about my son, I'm not sure what you think you were noticing.


Sorry, that was meant to be a joke about you.


Offline Sanguine

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My 39yo son has ADHD ....and those here who don't believe this is a disease don't know what they are talking about...

It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults. 

Offline Sanguine

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Sorry, that was meant to be a joke about you.

Hilarious, either way. 

Offline RoosGirl

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It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults.

This is along the lines of what I was thinking too.  Not a disease, just a different way of being that doesn't mesh so well with the lifestyles we generally have now.

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This is along the lines of what I was thinking too.  Not a disease, just a different way of being that doesn't mesh so well with the lifestyles we generally have now.

It also doesn't mesh well with the "Crush all opposition" attitude we're seeing a lot of lately.  Everything except wanting to hear the lamentations of their women. :whistle:
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Online mystery-ak

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It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults.

You are right..I don't think it was ever declared a *disease*.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and low IQ. He had Special Ed teachers all through school and I managed to keep him out of *contained* classrooms by re-enforcing every thing he did at school at home.

His pediatrician was the expert here in Central Il and thought that his bio mom drank while pregnant too..[she was 16yo]

It was a heavy road all through school but we did it...

He still cannot reason things out...for example..you take a day off from work you lose a day's pay...he just did that for the hundredth time last week because he was invited to a birthday party 9999hair out0000
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Offline Sanguine

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You are right..I don't think it was ever declared a *disease*.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and low IQ. He had Special Ed teachers all through school and I managed to keep him out of *contained* classrooms by re-enforcing every thing he did at school at home.

His pediatrician was the expert here in Central Il and thought that his bio mom drank while pregnant too..[she was 16yo]

It was a heavy road all through school but we did it...

He still cannot reason things out...for example..you take a day off from work you lose a day's pay...he just did that for the hundredth time last week because he was invited to a birthday party 9999hair out0000

Sounds like he is very blessed to have you. 

Online Cyber Liberty

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You are right..I don't think it was ever declared a *disease*.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and low IQ. He had Special Ed teachers all through school and I managed to keep him out of *contained* classrooms by re-enforcing every thing he did at school at home.

His pediatrician was the expert here in Central Il and thought that his bio mom drank while pregnant too..[she was 16yo]

It was a heavy road all through school but we did it...

He still cannot reason things out...for example..you take a day off from work you lose a day's pay...he just did that for the hundredth time last week because he was invited to a birthday party 9999hair out0000

That was how it was with my son.  Getting him though High School was a real slog, and he came to resent me for it.  He then went on to navigate a nuclear sub for a couple of hitches with the Navy, and has a son of his own.
For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. Sloe Joe Biteme 12/16
I will NOT comply.
 
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Offline GtHawk

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My 39yo son has ADHD ....and those here who don't believe this is a disease don't know what they are talking about...
My son also is ADHD and life was a challenge until he got into his latte teens early twenties, and now that he's 39 has a career and family(six years ago he thought he would be alone forever) our second grandchild from him will be born on Monday, we finally are past the day to day battles. It's especially hard when the kid with ADHD has a higher IQ then the people teaching them and the class work is boring boring boring!

Offline GtHawk

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It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults.
ADHD is now classified as a specific disability under federal civil rights law. ... The number of children being diagnosed with ADHD — a neurobiological disorder characterized by impulsivity, hyperactivity or inattentiveness — has soared over the last decade.Jul 26, 2016

Offline GtHawk

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You are right..I don't think it was ever declared a *disease*.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and low IQ. He had Special Ed teachers all through school and I managed to keep him out of *contained* classrooms by re-enforcing every thing he did at school at home.

His pediatrician was the expert here in Central Il and thought that his bio mom drank while pregnant too..[she was 16yo]

It was a heavy road all through school but we did it...

He still cannot reason things out...for example..you take a day off from work you lose a day's pay...he just did that for the hundredth time last week because he was invited to a birthday party 9999hair out0000
@mystery-ak
It was however classified a s disability

ADHD is one of the most researched and prevalent childhood brain disorders. ... ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is classified as a psychiatric disorder and the symptoms often continue through adolescence into adulthood.Jul 31, 2015

ADHD is now classified as a specific disability under federal civil rights law. ... The number of children being diagnosed with ADHD — a neurobiological disorder characterized by impulsivity, hyperactivity or inattentiveness — has soared over the last decade.Jul 26, 2016

Offline Sanguine

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ADHD is now classified as a specific disability under federal civil rights law. ... The number of children being diagnosed with ADHD — a neurobiological disorder characterized by impulsivity, hyperactivity or inattentiveness — has soared over the last decade.Jul 26, 2016

Yes, but I was talking about common sense and logic, not bureaucratic crap.

Offline Smokin Joe

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My 39yo son has ADHD ....and those here who don't believe this is a disease don't know what they are talking about...
Oh, it's real enough. I worked with a directional driller who had it, and got pretty good at steering him back on topic. He was off his meds, they were 1000 miles away and the doctors wouldn't give him more until those ran out. It was a bit like chasing ricochet rabbit in a discussion, but just a little patience and you found out the guy was excellent at his profession (one of the best I have worked with).

Edited to add: That said, I have serious doubts that it is as prominent as educators and others stuffing kids wholesale into the category would have us believe. One of the problems with being bright as a kid is that you get easily bored. At that point, it takes self-discipline, and a lot of it, to sit still when in captivity (classroom, meeting, what have you), and for those who don't really have the disorder, that is a learned behaviour. If those kids are medicated into submission inappropriately, they will lack the skills they should have developed when they were young when they get older.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2018, 08:57:42 pm by Smokin Joe »
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Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline goodwithagun

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Bah, those kids just need to be spanked more.  :smokin:

Lol! An Advanced Placement public school teacher once told me that my son just needed more discipline. I told her that I couldn’t spank the autism out of him anymore than I could slap the ignorance out of her. Although that didn’t phase her, finding out that at 7 his IQ was higher than hers really was a nasty kick in her ego.
I stand with Roosgirl.

Offline goodwithagun

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It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults.

Omg, who has the black and white slow clapping guy .gif? You hit the nail on the head my friend!
I stand with Roosgirl.

Offline RoosGirl

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Lol! An Advanced Placement public school teacher once told me that my son just needed more discipline. I told her that I couldn’t spank the autism out of him anymore than I could slap the ignorance out of her. Although that didn’t phase her, finding out that at 7 his IQ was higher than hers really was a nasty kick in her ego.

LOL  That's awesome.

Offline goodwithagun

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LOL  That's awesome.

She’s a Nathaniel Hawthorne “expert” and was none too pleased to discover that she’d been incorrectly pronouncing Sophia’s name, thanks to my son pointing it out  :silly:
I stand with Roosgirl.

Offline Sanguine

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Omg, who has the black and white slow clapping guy .gif? You hit the nail on the head my friend!

LOL, thank you!  I happen to be very familiar with ADHD. 

Offline Smokin Joe

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It's a tough one.  I don't believe it's a disease.  I think it's a fairly normal condition that in a much more dangerous and less regulated world that we live in, it was very much a positive.  The ADHD kids were the ones who discovered new lands, killed the leopards trying to eat the band, and took care of the bad guys.  It becomes a problem when little kids have to sit in a desk 7 hours a day and do detail work.  Same with adults.
It is one of he weird paradoxes of modern society. Not one of those who made major advancements in virtually any field is what we would all call "normal". Some passion, some driving force, the ability to integrate concepts drawn from thought across the spectrum, led to the discoveries (and a few accidents along the way) and the ongoing desire to do something out of the normal scope of most people's existence.

Yet the current educational system, for the most part is centered on some statistical "normal" and either pushing those who can't cope up to it or holding those who'd run roughshod over such a paltry standard back.

That McEducation will turn out McPeople, at a predictable standard of mediocrity, but mediocrity isn't what makes people or countries great. It's what happens when participation trophies take the place of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline Sanguine

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@Smokin Joe

Quote
Named from the phrase "the tall poppy gets cut down," an aphorism used in much of The Commonwealth of Nations to describe resentment of those whose accomplishments elevate them in prominence above their erstwhile peers. Tall Poppy Syndrome is in play when a character or characters act to achieve parity with another character who is presented or perceived as somehow "better", not by improving themselves but by bringing the other guy down to their level.



http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TallPoppySyndrome

Offline Hoodat

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Don't know anything about ADHD, but I have a lifetime of experience with ADD.
If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.     -Dwight Eisenhower-

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Offline Hoodat

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Lol! An Advanced Placement public school teacher once told me that my son just needed more discipline. I told her that I couldn’t spank the autism out of him anymore than I could slap the ignorance out of her. Although that didn’t phase her, finding out that at 7 his IQ was higher than hers really was a nasty kick in her ego.

@goodwithagun

Keep praying.  Pray every day over your son.  Pray that God's destiny for your child will be realized.  Pray for God to make the crooked places straight, and to mend the connections to restore him to what God intended.  Acknowledge His unlimited love.  Declare him a God of healing and restoration.

Do it.  It works.  it worked for my son.  Every day is a new miracle for my wife and I.
If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.     -Dwight Eisenhower-

"The [U.S.] Constitution is a limitation on the government, not on private individuals ... it does not prescribe the conduct of private individuals, only the conduct of the government ... it is not a charter for government power, but a charter of the citizen's protection against the government."     -Ayn Rand-

Offline Smokin Joe

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@Sanguine
'
Time was when a teacher was proud of students who surpassed them. Not so much any more.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline thackney

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Don't know anything about ADHD, but I have a lifetime of experience with ADD.

ADD is an old term, now out of date, for the disorder we call ADHD

https://childmind.org/ask-an-expert-qa/what-is-the-difference-between-add-and-adhd/
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Do you have ADHD?  Or know well an adult who does?
A psychiatrist tried to diagnose me with ADHD as a kid. A different one suspected Asperger's as a teen. Judging by what I have read about both, I still don't think either diagnosis was correct.
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Offline Restored

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Although you cannot discipline the autism out, even Aspies know about consequences. I certainly did. I got enough azz beatings from peers that I learned what not to do. But it is definitely a "choose your battles" scenario. I am just thankful we didn't have computers, tablets and such that people use to "shut down" autistic kids. I was forced to assimilate and adapt.
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Offline Hoodat

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ADD is an old term, now out of date, for the disorder we call ADHD

https://childmind.org/ask-an-expert-qa/what-is-the-difference-between-add-and-adhd/

But I'm not hyperactive.  Not at all.  I simply have a propensity for diving into a 120,000 row / 200 column spreadsheet for nine hours straight.  It is an unfair advantage I have over my peers at work.

Sure, it has it's downside too.  When it's time for my wife and I to leave the house to run some errand, I always find a million things to do before walking out the door.
If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.     -Dwight Eisenhower-

"The [U.S.] Constitution is a limitation on the government, not on private individuals ... it does not prescribe the conduct of private individuals, only the conduct of the government ... it is not a charter for government power, but a charter of the citizen's protection against the government."     -Ayn Rand-

Offline thackney

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But I'm not hyperactive.  Not at all.  I simply have a propensity for diving into a 120,000 row / 200 column spreadsheet for nine hours straight.  It is an unfair advantage I have over my peers at work.

Sure, it has it's downside too.  When it's time for my wife and I to leave the house to run some errand, I always find a million things to do before walking out the door.

Quote
The newest way of thinking about ADHD is actually to get rid of types altogether and just think about which symptoms present prominently. We still use the same clusters of symptoms (inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive), we just don’t consider them separate types. There are also adjustments to reflect new research on how ADHD symptoms present in adolescence or adulthood.

The bottom line is that the diagnosis of ADHD can still apply even if a child doesn’t have hyperactive or impulsive behaviors.
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Offline Smokin Joe

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But I'm not hyperactive.  Not at all.  I simply have a propensity for diving into a 120,000 row / 200 column spreadsheet for nine hours straight.  It is an unfair advantage I have over my peers at work.

Sure, it has it's downside too.  When it's time for my wife and I to leave the house to run some errand, I always find a million things to do before walking out the door.
But you have turned what is considered a disadvantage by those who think everyone should be the same into an advantage. It is like an experience I had working with a guy who was a bit OCD in a warehouse. Everything was in its place, the place was clean, and a joy to work in.
What the people who want to define normal as a statistical point everyone should conform to ignore is that in a different context, such alleged disorders become valuable talents/abilities.
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline Sanguine

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But you have turned what is considered a disadvantage by those who think everyone should be the same into an advantage. It is like an experience I had working with a guy who was a bit OCD in a warehouse. Everything was in its place, the place was clean, and a joy to work in.
What the people who want to define normal as a statistical point everyone should conform to ignore is that in a different context, such alleged disorders become valuable talents/abilities.

And, that is the key - the world does not conform to us, we have to figure how best to adapt to the world.

Offline goodwithagun

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Although you cannot discipline the autism out, even Aspies know about consequences. I certainly did. I got enough azz beatings from peers that I learned what not to do. But it is definitely a "choose your battles" scenario. I am just thankful we didn't have computers, tablets and such that people use to "shut down" autistic kids. I was forced to assimilate and adapt.

Thank God we have early diagnosis and therapies to help those on the high functioning end of the spectrum. I know that some can adapt and overcome, but my heart breaks for those who cannot and are in situations without support systems to help them through.
I stand with Roosgirl.