So how then would you suggest stopping it? If nobody reports it, how would anybody be able to take the necessary action. I don't want to use the word "blame" here, but seriously, what do you want?
@dfwgator I didn't say I put up with it forever. It came to an end because I got angry instead of intimidated at being cornered once too often and blocked from moving with the guy's body. He stopped because he didn't want a certain part of his anatomy kicked up around his neck, which is what I told him would happen. Or I would have tried my damndest to scratch out an eye or take some flesh off his face, had things become violent. He wanted a quick, easy way to get off with a scared female who would keep quiet. He didn't want trouble.
A woman I had confided in ended up telling my male boss what happened, and he was appalled. He kept saying to me, "Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe you didn't tell me."
Honestly I don't know why I didn't, because he was a great boss who was genuinely protective of women ---a quality that's
mouthed by some conservative men. I did have the feeling that HR might somehow get the idea I was a troublemaker, because the guy who was after me could talk his way out of anything.
Women tend to shift part of the blame onto themselves, even though it makes no sense to do so. And it sure as hell doesn't help matters when people react with, "It takes two to tango", as though sexual harassment is a dinner date. That's just stupid, no matter how you look at it.
See, I had a supportive boss I could have gone to, like I said, and I got angry at the harasser. But other women's circumstances aren't the same. If I had been very young, or if it had been my boss backing me against the wall, I don't know how I would have reacted. Maybe the same, or maybe not. At the time I needed that job. Walking away from a job is easy only for armchair pontificators who are removed from the situation.
You really want to know how to help? Stop doing what you're doing. When a woman comes out with a story of being harassed, stop knee jerking that oh, well, it's partially her fault because she didn't speak up. I don't mean that we shouldn't let the legal process play out or that we should assume that every man is guilty---I know there are women who fabricate charges. I'm saying stop blaming women when some pig harasses them, because even though you don't want to use the word, that's what you're doing.
Remember how some of y'all reacted when Gretchen Carlson opened up about her harassment? She was asked in an interview, "Why didn't you come forward sooner?" Her reply---"Look at the response now. That's why."