Every Mammal On Earth Including Humans Takes 12 Seconds To Poop

[mirraflake]

Following up on the booger article yesterday


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4449712/From-cats-humans-mammals-poop-12-seconds.html

Whether wild or domestic, hunter or hunted, 10lbs or 10,000, there’s one thing all mammals have in common – the time they take to poop.
According to a new study, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to relieve themselves, and apply about the same amount of pressure to do so, regardless of size differences.
Researchers investigating the hydrodynamics of defecation found that mammals, from cats to elephants (and even humans), rely on a layer of mucus to carry fecal matter quickly through the large intestine ‘like a sled sliding through a chute.’

[GtHawk]

Oh Yeah? Even if they got's the diarrhea or constipitations?

[geronl]

I know people who can spend an hour in there.

[andy58-in-nh]

That must have been some fun field research.

[240B]

Nonsense. I can't imagine why this was written, or why anyone would choose to publish it, but it is total nonsense just on the face of it. It certainly doesn't apply to me. And the last time I checked, I'm still a member of the every mammal on Earth club.

[roamer_1]

Researchers investigating the hydrodynamics of defecation found that mammals, from cats to elephants (and even humans), rely on a layer of mucus to carry fecal matter quickly through the large intestine ‘like a sled sliding through a chute.’

The author is blissfully unaware of the consequences inherent in a high cheese diet.

[Ghost Bear]

That must have been some fun field research.

I was thinking it must have been a really sh!tty job.   

[Ghost Bear]

What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds. 

[EC]

If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

[Wingnut]

Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?

[skeeter]

Thank heavens I've never had a boss who seemed aware of this.

[240B]

What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds. 

Ok
So we are to believe that this researcher is a modern day Noah, and miraculously had access to "every mammal on Earth" long enough to study how long it takes them to poop. Did he measure a platypus, and a blue whale?

I've heard of people with too much time on their hands, but this is a whole new level.

[Cripplecreek]

I have nothing of value to ad here.

[Ghost Bear]

Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?

Quoting the article, "like a sled sliding through a chute."  Now, imagine a luge...   

[Ghost Bear]

If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

Technically to balance out it wouldn't have to be one mammal doing it in microseconds, just a whole lot of mammals doing it in 11 seconds...

[Cripplecreek]

Quoting the article, "like a sled sliding through a chute."  Now, imagine a luge...   

Unhg

[geronl]

I think this study is a pile of crap!

[Wingnut]

I have nothing of value to ad here.

You have the right to remain Silent....... but Deadly....

[endicom]

Enough of this eliminationist rhetoric.

[r9etb]

If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

Somebody with an armor-plated toilet....  hopefully one with really good splash guards.

[geronl]

We all know this machine could suck it out in a fraction of a second.

[Wingnut]

Somebody with an armor-plated toilet....  hopefully one with really good splash guards.

Blast zone safety guide:

[r9etb]

Blast zone safety guide:

 

[goodwithagun]

I'll go ahead and "drop" this here:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

[Wingnut]

A quide for the MOAB of poop

[Polly Ticks]

I'll go ahead and "drop" this here:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

Well, that was disturbing.

I'm just going to cross-reference with @pookie18 's toons from this morning, while we're being grossed out.



Yeah, definitely lactose intolerant.

[mirraflake]

Tomorrow morning everyone will be "one thousand one, one thousand two..."

[mirraflake]

Jon Lovitz  on Prairie Doggin it..

I will never look at Prairie dogs the same ever again. Ingenious though.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNxtPl7SaDQ

[rodamala]

Thank heavens I've never had a boss who seemed aware of this.

@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.

[anubias]

If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

 

[Smokin Joe]

Did you know The Eskimos were the first people to have ICBM's?   I wonder if that slowed down the 12 sec average or sped it up?

No.no. no. That was Icy BMs, not ICBMs. Sheesh!

[geronl]

These bits are all a waste product

[Gefn]

What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds. 

With my diverticulitis I'm lucky if I spend five minutes..... I usually can read half a magazine during that time... and it's every three to four days.

I WISH I could do a 12 second poop.

Now the bird that keeps getting my car on the other hand.....

[Gefn]

@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.

 @rodamala 's  back! Huzzah!!!!

[mirraflake]

My 3 dogs this morning  averaged 11-13 seconds. I was at 14 seconds but that was counting one thousand one one thousand two so it might be off a bit.

[Smokin Joe]

My 3 dogs this morning  averaged 11-13 seconds. I was at 14 seconds but that was counting one thousand one one thousand two so it might be off a bit.

Dude, that's more information than we really needed. I'm just amazed some coprophile out there has found a niche doing this sort of research in the first place.

As for me, I'll be done by the end of the chapter. That's why there are two bathrooms.

Besides, no one in their right mind wants to be in a hurry to be next.

[skeeter]

@skeeter

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
That's why I shit, while on company time.

Succinctly put.

[Suppressed]

What everyone is missing in the snippet quoted is the all-important word, average.

So yeah, sometimes more, sometimes less, but on average, 12 seconds. 

The question then becomes, which average?  Arithmetic mean? Harmonic Mean? Geometric Mean?  Median?  Mode?  etc.

I'm wondering whether the mode might be far higher!

[rangerrebew]

I can't even get all my reading material ready in 12 seconds.   Anyway, to do such meaningless research would indicate the experimenter was a liberal and had some government money to waste.  Get it, waste?

[Polly Ticks]

Besides, no one in their right mind wants to be in a hurry to be next.

[roamer_1]

[geronl]

The question then becomes, which average?  Arithmetic mean? Harmonic Mean? Geometric Mean?  Median?  Mode?  etc.

I'm wondering whether the mode might be far higher!

Poop Allah Mode?

[geronl]

Such useful stuff...

[Smokin Joe]

Uh, No sparks or open flames! Sheesh! 

[r9etb]

Uh, No sparks or open flames! Sheesh! 

So I guess now we know how you got your screen name.....   

[Smokin Joe]

So I guess now we know how you got your screen name.....   

Nah. That goes back to my days as a firefighter.

[uglybiker]

Oh Yeah? Even if they got's the diarrhea or constipitations?

What if they've got a magazine?

[Cripplecreek]

What if they've got a magazine?

Damn slow readers skewing the results they is.

[Joe Wooten]

If the average is 12 seconds ... Who's pooping in microseconds to balance out my hour?

The poor sap who drank the water in Juarez.........

[240B]

one thousand one
one thousand two
That's it. I just shat myself.
maybe he's right. I have to go