Author Topic: The Adventures of Florida Man: a running thread (Read 166738 times)

bigheadfred · « **on:** February 25, 2017, 10:01:31 am »

A dog in Florida was accused this week of accidentally shooting a sleeping woman in the leg.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/02/24/florida-man-accuses-dog-shooting-girlfriend-in-leg.amp.html

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #1 on:** April 14, 2019, 01:03:14 pm »

The Adventures of Florida Man
A repository for all Florida Man stories.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2019, 01:05:01 pm »

(post inadvertently overwritten, will try to retrieve)

mountaineer · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2019, 03:54:20 pm »

Actual Esquire article:

Quote

The 90 Wildest Florida Man Headlines of 2019 (So Far)
Whatever insanity is happening in your state, Florida has done it with an alligator and possibly some amphetamines.
By Justin Kirkland
Apr 1, 2019 ...

Apparently, there's a new one every day. This is just March 30's:

Quote

Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin
By: Bob D'Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk
Updated: Mar 30, 2019 - 2:57 AM

... The victim told police she was in the backyard of a home when Dankner asked her to dress his mannequin, the television station reported. When the woman refused, Dankner allegedly blocked her path back into the house. ...

The victim told police Dankner hit her several times in the head with a wooden stool and stuffed dumplings into her mouth, causing her to have difficulty breathing, the television station reported. ...

verga · « **Reply #4 on:** April 15, 2019, 07:39:52 am »

mountaineer · « **Reply #5 on:** April 15, 2019, 07:51:18 am »

This morning's Florida Man story:

Quote

Florida Man Driving at 100 MPH Tells Cop 'The Car is a Ferrari and it Goes Fast,' Passenger Gets Him in More Trouble
By Jason Murdock On 4/15/19 at 5:35 AM EDT

A Florida man who told police he was speeding because his sports car â€œgoes fastâ€ was hit with a felony charge this weekend after a passenger in the vehicle claimed he had ignored the patrol car siren of an in-pursuit deputy, the local police department has said.

Gabriel Molina, age 29, of Miami, was behind the wheel of a 2016 Ferrari and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour (mph) while allegedly fleeing from Upper Keys police sergeant Robert Dosh on Sunday. ...

Newsweek

Sanguine · « **Reply #6 on:** April 15, 2019, 09:52:51 am »

I love Florida Man stories.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #7 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:00:48 am »

Quote from: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 09:52:51 am

I love Florida Man stories.

There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

Sanguine · « **Reply #8 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:02:49 am »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 10:00:48 am

There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #9 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:03:16 am »

Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta
Ben Padgett, 32, was arrested on April 7 for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.

According to an arrest report, police responded to a disturbance call at the restaurant and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities." He was not wearing a shirt.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html

thackney · « **Reply #10 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:17:08 am »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 10:03:16 am

...and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities....

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?

mountaineer · « **Reply #11 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:54:55 am »

Quote from: thackney on April 15, 2019, 10:17:08 am

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?

It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Sanguine · « **Reply #12 on:** April 15, 2019, 10:59:01 am »

Quote from: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 10:54:55 am

It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Isn't the lack of a shirt an extenuating circumstance?

goatprairie · « **Reply #13 on:** April 15, 2019, 11:10:15 am »

Is Florida Man doing the crazy stunts other Americans are unwilling to do to entertain the general American public?
I say it's time for other Americans to do their bit and perform the weird things Florida Man has been doing over and above what is called for by the average American.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #14 on:** April 15, 2019, 04:06:54 pm »

Florida man charged with shooting woman with a gun he filled with urine
An elderly man who squirted a woman with urine while she was walking her dog was arrested in Florida over the weekend â€” and heâ€™s not sorry.

Gulfport police reportedly picked up Joel Benjamin, 71, on Saturday after he used a squirt gun to soak a 50-year-old woman passing by his house.

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html

Ghost Bear · « **Reply #15 on:** April 15, 2019, 04:29:09 pm »

Bookmarking...

corbe · « **Reply #16 on:** April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 pm »

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

berdie · « **Reply #17 on:** April 15, 2019, 05:39:59 pm »

Quote from: corbe on April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 pm

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out.

corbe · « **Reply #18 on:** April 15, 2019, 06:11:11 pm »

You're probably absolutely correct @berdie

Sanguine · « **Reply #19 on:** April 15, 2019, 06:13:34 pm »

Quote from: berdie on April 15, 2019, 05:39:59 pm

Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out.

I sure hope not.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #20 on:** April 16, 2019, 06:47:34 am »

Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family's yard
Collier County deputies said Michael Burke was attempting to break into multiple homes in the 3100 hundred block of Barrett Avenue when a neighbor spotted him and called deputies.

Neighbors said Burke was scared off by dogs, but not scared enough to stop him from going into their backyard and relieving himself.

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard

(Au contraire... they literally scared the crap out of him.)

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #21 on:** April 16, 2019, 07:47:56 am »

Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #22 on:** April 16, 2019, 07:49:47 am »

Quote from: corbe on April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 pm

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

Of course, that would be both beautiful and crazy all at the same time.

(Whoops, did I say that out loud?).

I'm going to hide now.

Sanguine · « **Reply #23 on:** April 16, 2019, 09:19:38 am »

Quote from: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 07:47:56 am

Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

I don't Google, but I Ixquiked mine and got: "Florida Man Arrested For Beating Drag Queen With Tiki Torch While Dressed as Member of KKK, Now Running For Mayor"

Lando Lincoln · « **Reply #24 on:** April 16, 2019, 10:03:33 am »

Oops! Florida man mistakenly swiped laxatives, not opioids: report

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #25 on:** April 17, 2019, 06:44:08 am »

Florida man arrested after being filmed wrestling fake alligator at mall

Gianny Sosa-Hernandez was charged with criminal mischief after damaging the display alligator at The Falls Shopping Center in Miami-Dade County, according to the Miami-Dade Police Department.

In the video, Sosa-Hernandez, 18, is seen removing his sweatshirt and running to the side of the display. He then jumps over the barrier, throwing the fake alligator off a rock and into the display's pond. Sosa-Hernandez picks up the alligator before performing a wrestling move on it that police identified as an R.K.O, a move popularized by WWE wrestler Randy Orton. He then pretends to pin the gator.

Police said the manager of the mall confirmed that the alligator, which was valued at $3,690, was damaged from the March 30 incident.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-teenager-arrested-filmed-wrestling-fake-alligator-mall/story?id=62429533

sneakypete · « **Reply #26 on:** April 17, 2019, 09:57:46 am »

Quote from: corbe on April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 pm

I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.

GrouchoTex · « **Reply #27 on:** April 17, 2019, 03:08:28 pm »

Quote from: sneakypete on April 17, 2019, 09:57:46 am

@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.

LOL, none that I know, that's for sure.

andy58-in-nh · « **Reply #28 on:** April 17, 2019, 03:31:18 pm »

Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated: 12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. â€” Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday.

"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.

As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.

Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.

Plaster faces battery charges.

sneakypete · « **Reply #29 on:** April 17, 2019, 07:26:39 pm »

Quote from: andy58-in-nh on April 17, 2019, 03:31:18 pm

Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, ...

John Plaster Jr??????

Hmmm,wonder if his daddy is from Mn?

goatprairie · « **Reply #30 on:** April 17, 2019, 11:21:41 pm »

Quote from: andy58-in-nh on April 17, 2019, 03:31:18 pm

Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated: 12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. â€” Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday.

"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.

As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.

Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.

Plaster faces battery charges.

It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually blow over.

Sanguine · « **Reply #31 on:** April 17, 2019, 11:34:52 pm »

Quote from: goatprairie on April 17, 2019, 11:21:41 pm

It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually blow over.

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #32 on:** April 18, 2019, 07:16:59 am »

Florida man, 80, captures huge alligator
An 80-year-old Florida man took matters into his own hands when a huge alligator walked into his backyard Tuesday afternoon.

Ed Chapman, from Miami-Dade County, tried to catch the 6-and-a-half-foot gator himself before he had to call in backup from police and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, local outlet 7News reported.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/huge-alligator-80-year-old-florida-man

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #33 on:** April 18, 2019, 07:19:40 am »

Florida man attacks neighbors with frying pan, lamp pole, deputies say
51-year-old Gerald Lee Thornton Jr. had been evicted from his home and got into a fight with his neighbors in the 11000 block of Edison Avenue on Friday night.

One of the neighbors told deputies that Thornton chased him with a frying pan and hit him in the left side, according to a complaint affidavit. The man took the frying pan from Thornton and punched Thornton multiple times in the head.

Thornton got up and hit a second man in the back of the head with a lamp pole, according to the affidavit.

https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article229268284.html

Bigun · « **Reply #34 on:** April 18, 2019, 10:01:42 am »

Florida man gets his ass beat by a grandma with a baseball bat!

Florida great-grandma fends off 300-pound burglar with a baseball bat: cops

sneakypete · « **Reply #35 on:** April 18, 2019, 11:00:44 am »

Sic,'em,Granny!

I will only add you need to get a couple of your grandsons to come stay with you for a while in case he tries to get his homies to come after you. I'd really hate to read that you get hurt over this.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #36 on:** April 19, 2019, 08:09:03 pm »

Florida man pretends to be cop, pulls over actual cop, gets arrested
Matthew Joseph Erris, from Pasco County, Florida, clearly wanted to give the impression that he was a police officer. On the top of his Chevy Trailblazer was a police light bar and there were even red and blue lights on the vehicleâ€™s grill.

On Tuesday night, he got so into character that he flashed his fake police lights at a car in front, signally for them to pull over. But he chose the wrong person to pull over, WFLA reported. The occupant of the car in front was a real-life police detective, working undercover. He promptly called 911 and alerted other officers, who caught up with Erris a short time later.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pretends-be-cop-pulls-over-cop-pretending-be-civilian-gets-1401043

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #37 on:** April 19, 2019, 09:38:18 pm »

Florida man misspells â€˜â€˜schoolâ€™â€™â€”painting a school parking lot
A road crew in Florida should get an "F'' for spelling.

A motorist on Thursday spotted the error, realizing that workers in Doral had made a mistake when painting the word "school" at a pedestrian crossing in the road.

Instead of S-C-H-O-O-L, it was spelled S-C-O-H-O-L.

https://www.wivb.com/news/national/oh-florida-road-crew-misspells-school-on-crosswalk/1938783514

InHeavenThereIsNoBeer · « **Reply #38 on:** April 19, 2019, 09:46:16 pm »

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought

Sanguine · « **Reply #39 on:** April 19, 2019, 09:51:40 pm »

Quote from: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on April 19, 2019, 09:46:16 pm

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought

Some of those are really good:

Quote

...#21 Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on strangerâ€™s property

#22 Florida man caught abusing young alligator, putting cigarette in its mouth

#23 Florida man arrested after traffic crash found with â€˜fake urine,â€™ says itâ€™s for â€˜role playâ€™ with spouse

#24 Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911

#25 Florida man tried to bring replica grenade launcher on plane, TSA says

#26 Florida man uses fake ID, steals $41K in dental implants, $10K for French bulldog

#27 Florida man denies syringes found in rectum are his

#28 Florida man threatens to kill man â€˜with kindness,â€™ uses machete named â€˜Kindnessâ€™

#29 Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen

#30 Florida man escapes alligator by punching it in the face while searching for golf balls...

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #40 on:** April 22, 2019, 07:00:39 am »

Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct
Jack Dylan Evans, 44, was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly yelling at a female staffer at the Down The Hatch bar in Pinellas Park about his intentions to have sex with her. Later, Evans continued his disorderly behavior by groping the buttocks of the female fingerprint technician at Pinellas County jail who was processing him, according to a police report.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-gropes-fingerprint-technician-after-being-arrested-disorderly-1402352

mountaineer · « **Reply #41 on:** April 22, 2019, 09:29:38 am »

Quote from: jmyrlefuller on April 22, 2019, 07:00:39 am

Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct

When ya just gots ta have it.

Cyber Liberty · « **Reply #42 on:** April 22, 2019, 09:57:03 am »

goatprairie · « **Reply #43 on:** April 22, 2019, 12:21:11 pm »

I have to believe there's a reality tv series with the Florida Man theme.

Sanguine · « **Reply #44 on:** April 23, 2019, 10:39:36 am »

Quote

Florida man in Easter bunny costume caught in viral brawl reveals who he is, why he hopped into action

A costumed stranger fighting for justice removed his mask Monday -- but it wasn't Bruce Wayne revealing he's Batman or Peter Parker confessing he's Spider-Man.

It turns out the person seen in an Easter bunny outfit brawling with two others this weekend in a viral video has a familiar identity: Florida man.

...â€œOnly in Florida. only in Orlando you see a bunny fighting. Youâ€™ve got to pull your phone out,â€ the promoter told FOX35....

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained

With video.

jmyrlefuller · « **Reply #45 on:** April 24, 2019, 06:21:52 pm »

Florida man, 72, stabbed nephew for hogging bathroom
Authorities say a 72-year-old Florida man repeatedly stabbed his nephew because he was taking too long in the bathroom.

Volusia County Sheriff's deputies and DeLand police arrived Tuesday to find the 29-year-old victim with wounds in his stomach and back. Investigators said the victim lives in his vehicle in his father's driveway and that his father allows him to use the bathroom.

https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-stabbed-nephew-for-hogging-bathroom-509024511.html

Free Vulcan · « **Reply #46 on:** April 28, 2019, 01:35:12 pm »

Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriffâ€™s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.

https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1

goatprairie · « **Reply #47 on:** April 28, 2019, 03:48:39 pm »

Quote from: Free Vulcan on April 28, 2019, 01:35:12 pm

Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriffâ€™s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.

https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1

I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?

Sanguine · « **Reply #48 on:** April 28, 2019, 05:33:41 pm »

Quote from: goatprairie on April 28, 2019, 03:48:39 pm

I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?

EdJames · « **Reply #49 on:** April 28, 2019, 06:40:48 pm »

Florida man contracts flesh-eating bacteria while fishing in Gulf of Mexico

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121

A Florida man out fishing off the coast of Palm Harbor in the Gulf of Mexico contracted an infection with flesh-eating bacteria last Saturday.

WFTS reported Ozona, Florida, native Mike Walton is being treated for flesh-eating disease known as necrotizing fasciitis.

Walton was stuck by a fish hook on Saturday. By the next day, his hand had grown swollen and black blisters had grown. He was rushed to the burn unit once at the Tampa General Hospital. Luckily, they were able to save his life and his arm, which risked amputation.