Ridiculous News of the Day

[Applewood]

Police: Shots fired at men cutting grass in Armstrong County

Police said they investigated a report of someone firing shots at two landscapers as they cut grass in the area of 135 Hillview Lane around 11 a.m.
…
Police said investigators traced the gunshots to Joseph Michael Riederer, 31, who lives at the Hillview Lane address near where the landscapers had been working.

While at Riederer’s home, police said they saw marijuana plants and processed marijuana. A search warrant served at the residence later that day turned up 76 marijuana plants, processed marijuana, materials used to grow marijuana plants and three guns.

He faces drug and assault charges...

Excerpt.  More at:

https://triblive.com/local/valley-news-dispatch/police-man-shoots-at-men-cutting-grass-in-armstrong-county/

[mountaineer]

 That's a shame.   

[Sanguine]

He knows that "grass" is just a euphemism for marijuana, right?

[Applewood]

When Taco Bell runs out of tacos, who do you call? One person reportedly called the police

When a Louisiana Taco Bell allegedly ran out of tacos, a consumer called the city's police department to report the "travesty."

The Slidell Police Department took to its Facebook page Monday to share "another 'we can’t make this stuff up' story."

"Somebody called in to complain that the Taco Bell on Gause Boulevard ran out of both hard and soft taco shells," the post said. "While this is truly a travesty, the police can’t do anything about this."

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2019/06/04/taco-bell-runs-out-tacos-and-travesty-called-police/1347051001/

 

[mountaineer]

When Taco Bell runs out of tacos, who do you call? One person reportedly called the police

There was a elderly woman in the small town in which we used to live who regularly called 911 whenever she was out of cigarettes.

[roamer_1]

When Taco Bell runs out of tacos, who do you call?

Sorry... I'm a Taco John's kinds guy   

[corbe]

[Wingnut]

Okay. Now that's funny I don't care if you are a Kraut.

[berdie]

That actually made me ROFL.

[Bigun]

That actually made me ROFL.

Me to!

[jafo2010]

Hilarious!

[sneakypete]

There was a elderly woman in the small town in which we used to live who regularly called 911 whenever she was out of cigarettes.

@mountaineer

That's different. Chain smokers actually NEED cigarettes.

[sneakypete]

@corbe

Well,it is the truth. Germany sure participated on the D-Day festivities,and they were allies with Japan.

[jmyrlefuller]

Alabama man allegedly fed 'attack squirrel' methamphetamine to keep it aggressive

An "attack squirrel" housed in an Alabama apartment and fed methamphetamine by its owner to make sure it stayed aggressive was rescued Monday, officials said.

The squirrel was removed from the alleged drug den by investigators following a bust at an apartment in Athens, according to authorities.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/alabama-man-attack-squirrel-meth-aggressive

[Cyber Liberty]

"Attack Squirrel?" 

Sic 'em, Flooffy!

[sneakypete]

"Attack Squirrel?" 

Sic 'em, Flooffy!

@Cyber Liberty

Why is it I think the squirrel had more working brain cells than the speed freak?

[jmyrlefuller]

"Attack Squirrel?" 

Sic 'em, Flooffy!

Those squirrels from the Deep South can get gnarly...


Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

[thackney]

Alabama man allegedly fed 'attack squirrel' methamphetamine to keep it aggressive

An "attack squirrel" housed in an Alabama apartment and fed methamphetamine by its owner to make sure it stayed aggressive was rescued Monday, officials said.

The squirrel was removed from the alleged drug den by investigators following a bust at an apartment in Athens, according to authorities.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/alabama-man-attack-squirrel-meth-aggressive

Finally, we have learned what was the prequel to the squirrel grenade story:

http://thecryptmag.com/Online/38/SQUIRREL.HTM

[verga]

Those squirrels from the Deep South can get gnarly...


Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

Hey some of these little B@$T@RD$ that live here in Virginia can be pretty darn nasty as well.

[sneakypete]

Hey some of these little B@$T@RD$ that live here in Virginia can be pretty darn nasty as well.

@verga

I blame it on all the meth they find hidden.

[Applewood]

Florida sheriff's deputy detained a tortoise for blocking the road. He got away with a warning and a selfie

Florida law enforcement detained a slow-moving Florida native after the suspect refused to clear the road when asked.

The gopher tortoise was walking along Nocatee Parkway, north of St. Augustine, when St. Johns County Sheriff's Deputy L. Fontenot spotted it during a routine patrol.

When asked to clear the road, the suspect, identified as "Gopherus Genus," age unknown, continued its stroll.

Fontenot quickly detained the suspect. The St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said in a statement that the two had a "heartfelt conversation regarding this risky behavior" and the suspect was "released on his own recognizance.".

More at:

https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/23/us/florida-tortoise-detained-trnd/index.html

[corbe]

WICHITA FALLS, Texas – Wichita Falls police banned a woman from Walmart after she reportedly ate half of a cake and refused to pay for the uneaten half, according to the Wichita Falls Times Record News.

Police responded to a theft call June 25 at the Walmart; they were told a woman entered the store, ate half of a cake and refused to pay for the other half when asked.

According to the Times Record News, the woman was banned from the store by police for the theft.

This is not the first time a Wichita Falls Walmart has been forced to ban a customer this year.

In January, a woman was banned from a Wichita Falls Walmart for reportedly drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around on an electric shopping cart.

[corbe]

[roamer_1]

In January, a woman was banned from a Wichita Falls Walmart for reportedly drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around on an electric shopping cart.

Hmm... Sounds like a good candidate for the Redneck Olympic Games. A twist on a PBR in a koozie and riding on a garden tractor... Which happens all the time... 

[mountaineer]

In January, a woman was banned from a Wichita Falls Walmart for reportedly drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around on an electric shopping cart.

In my defense, at least I didn't take a wineglass from the housewares department.

[sneakypete]

In my defense, at least I didn't take a wineglass from the housewares department.

@mountaineer

Ahhhh,nothing says "sophisticated palate" quite like Wal-Mart wine!

You realize,of course,that it is now only a matter of time before someone starts posting "Walmartian videos"?

[roamer_1]

In my defense, at least I didn't take a wineglass from the housewares department.

Your mamma raised you right.
 

[Free Vulcan]

Guy Checks A Single Can Of Beer After Airline Told Him He Couldn’t Board With It



Millions of passengers are constantly annoyed by airlines’ policies, and the rules are getting more absurd and unreasonable. They overcharge tickets, overbook flights, and are often inconsiderate towards their passengers.

Sometimes, an act of defiance is necessary to shake up authorities because these actions show them that it’s unacceptable to mistreat their clients. That’s probably what this passenger had in mind when he created a scene at a Melbourne airport.

http://justsomething.co/guy-checks-a-single-can-of-beer-after-airline-told-him-he-couldnt-board-with-it/?fbclid=IwAR0jx1JD2faKSeiqrNapISWZUEJ2nqJUMngFmH22S_bvFWB2JWVgZ35XA0U

[catfish1957]

Guy Checks A Single Can Of Beer After Airline Told Him He Couldn’t Board With It

Sounds like something I'd do.   I do swear it wasn't me though.

[roamer_1]

Guy Checks A Single Can Of Beer After Airline Told Him He Couldn’t Board With It
That’s probably what this passenger had in mind when he created a scene at a Melbourne airport.

LOL!
I was thinking...
Either American redneck, Irish, or Ozzie...

[mountaineer]

Serial toilet clogger sentenced to 150 days in jail, 3 years of probation
Diana Dombrowski

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - A 26-year-old Wisconsin man was sentenced Monday to three years of probation for clogging women's toilets in Deland Park and at his place of work.

Patrick D. Beeman  was originally charged with 12 misdemeanors of criminal damage to property, but seven of the charges were dismissed in early June.

As conditions of probation, Beeman will have to serve 150 days in jail, pay more than $5,500 in restitution, not be allowed to possess or consumer alcohol or any controlled substances, and complete 100 hours of community service.  ...

According to a criminal complaint, officers found a toilet in the women's bathroom at Deland Community Center clogged by a plastic bottle last March. Water was overflowing from the toilet.

Officers had checked the restrooms the previous evening and the toilets were not damaged. Officers reviewed 10 similar incidents beginning in April 2017 where toilets were clogged. The city determined each incident caused about $200 in damage, the complaint said.  ...

USA Today via MSN

[mountaineer]

Mom: United put teen son on the wrong international flight
Associated Press | Tuesday, July 2, 2019 7:53 a.m.

RALEIGH, N.C. — A North Carolina woman says United Airlines put her teenage son on the wrong international flight, nearly sending him to Germany instead of Sweden.

Christer Berg tells WRAL-TV that her 14-year-old son was traveling alone to visit his grandparents and realized something was wrong as the plane prepared for takeoff. She says her son texted her from the runway that it was odd a flight to Sweden was filled with so many people who spoke German.  ...

More

Seems to me Mom is at least as culpable. The flight number and destination are clearly indicated at the gate. 

[Sanguine]

More

Seems to me Mom is at least as culpable. The flight number and destination are clearly indicated at the gate. 

And, the 14 year old should have some awareness.

[Cyber Liberty]

And, the 14 year old should have some awareness.

He was sharp enough to notice the other passengers were speaking the "wrong" language.

[TomSea]

Woman trying to shoot someone in road rage incident ends up shooting husband in head: Sheriff

    By     emily shapiro  Jul 9, 2019

 A woman was allegedly trying to shoot someone in a road rage incident in Alabama when she ended up shooting her husband instead, authorities said.

The alleged road rage altercation took place at about 6:45 p.m. Saturday on a highway in Dodge City and carried over to a home in Bremen, according to the Cullman County Sheriff's Office.

Erica Cole was trying to shoot an unidentified person, according to the sheriff's office, but instead a bullet struck her husband, Nicholas Cole, in the head.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/woman-shoot-road-rage-incident-ends-shooting-husband/story?id=64213597

[sneakypete]

@TomSea

 

Erica Cole was trying to shoot an unidentified person, according to the sheriff's office, but instead a bullet struck her husband, Nicholas Cole, in the head.

Don't ya just HATE it when that happens?

[TomSea]

https://mobile.twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1148647463093448704

BREAKING: Multiple people stabbed by naked man in downtown Seattle; suspect in custody - KOMO

One tweet said it happened at a Nordstrom's dept. store.

[Bigun]

I think this one fits here as well!


Bill Clinton claims he ‘knows nothing’ about Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex crimes

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/bill-clinton-claims-he-knows-nothing-about-jeffrey-epsteins-alleged-sex-crimes-2019-07-09

[berdie]

I think this one fits here as well!


Bill Clinton claims he ‘knows nothing’ about Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex crimes

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/bill-clinton-claims-he-knows-nothing-about-jeffrey-epsteins-alleged-sex-crimes-2019-07-09

It absolutely belongs here.  "I did not sleep with that woman" comes to mind.

[sneakypete]

I think this one fits here as well!


Bill Clinton claims he ‘knows nothing’ about Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex crimes

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/bill-clinton-claims-he-knows-nothing-about-jeffrey-epsteins-alleged-sex-crimes-2019-07-09

@Bigun

"Ah did not have sex with that woman,Monica Lewinsky."

[Smokin Joe]

@Bigun

"Ah did not have sex with that woman,Monica Lewinsky."

I watched that presser. He was doing the finger pointing thing when he said "I did not have sex with that woman." (Pointing at Helen Thomas), then after that little pause, he said "Monica Lewinsky", which came off as a non-sequitur more than a denial of having sex with her.

[sneakypete]

I watched that presser. He was doing the finger pointing thing when he said "I did not have sex with that woman." (Pointing at Helen Thomas), then after that little pause, he said "Monica Lewinsky", which came off as a non-sequitur more than a denial of having sex with her.

@Smokin Joe

Didn't really matter. It was Bubba Bill,and everybody knew it was both a joke and a lie.

Remember the "Hit all depends on whut the meaning of the word "is" is.",with a big smile?

[Sanguine]

Dixon woman drove car with 2 kids inside inflatable pool on roof, police say

Updated 27 minutes ago

DIXON, Ill. (WLS) -- A woman in Dixon Illinois has been charged with child endangerment after police said she was driving a car with a pool on the roof with two children inside.

Police received a complaint at about 3:07 p.m. Tuesday and found a white Audi driving west on IL Route 2 west of Palmyra Road with a blue inflatable pool with two children inside on top of the car.

After conducting a traffic stop, police said the driver, 49-year-old Jennifer Yeager, told them that she drove into town to inflate the pool at a friend's house and had her two daughters ride inside the empty pool to hold it down on the drive home...

https://abc7chicago.com/dixon-woman-drove-car-with-2-kids-in-pool-on-roof-police-say/5387140/

It makes perfect sense.   

[sneakypete]

 

It makes perfect sense.   

@Sanguine

That's funny,in a truly sick,distorted way.

I had to check to see she wasn't from Florida.

[mountaineer]

Loud fart gives away suspect's hiding spot, leads to arrest
Posted Jul 09 2019 04:34PM CDT
Updated Jul 09 2019 06:23PM CDT

CLAY COUNTY, Mo. (FOX 9) - When tracking down a suspect, law enforcement might use a K-9 to track down a scent.

This was not necessary for a recent arrest in Missouri.

According to the Clay County Sheriff's Office, over the weekend, Liberty police were searching for a person who a felony warrant for arrest. The person was wanted for possession of a controlled substance.

The suspect hid to avoid police, but apparently let out a fart so loudly, it gave up their hiding spot.

"We’ve gotta give props to Liberty PD for using their senses to sniff him out!" read a Facebook comment from the Clay County Sheriff's Office.
source

[Applewood]

@mountaineer

That is hilarious.  LOL

[roamer_1]

The suspect hid to avoid police, but apparently let out a fart so loudly, it gave up their hiding spot.

I hate it when that happens. 
Nervous flatulence.
It's a thing.
How I suffer.
Poor guy.

[thackney]

Dixon woman drove car with 2 kids inside inflatable pool on roof, police say

[Sanguine]

 

[berdie]

In my mind I hear the conversation that might have taken place..

O.K. kids, get in the pool so we can get it home....and hold on tight.

O.K. Mom!!