Ridiculous News of the Day

[sneakypete]

Famed opera singer David Daniels, husband arrested for felony sex assault
By Gabrielle Fonrouge
January 30, 2019
The perps (Daniels at right)

@mountaineer

Am I the only one that thinks those look like before and after photos of the same guy taken 20 years apart?

[Cyber Liberty]

@mountaineer

Am I the only one that thinks those look like before and after photos of the same guy taken 20 years apart?

The facial expressions of attitude are certainly the same....

[Sanguine]

@mountaineer

Am I the only one that thinks those look like before and after photos of the same guy taken 20 years apart?

LOL.  No, I thought that too.

[mountaineer]

I think the ears and noses are different enough to say it's not the same person. Clearly, the opera singer likes 'em young, though.

[Wingnut]

He looks like a gay harvey weinstein. 

[mountaineer]

Boy, 13, arrested after telling Siri he wanted to shoot up a school
By Natalie O'Neill
February 1, 2019 | 2:30pm | Updated


An Indiana middle schooler was busted for telling Siri he planned to open fire on a school — prompting the digital assistant to suggest possible ones nearby, police said in reports Friday.

The unnamed 13-year-old boy is accused of telling Siri, “I am going to shoot up a school,” the Valparaiso Police Department told the Northwest Indiana Times.

The voice-activated iPhone assistant then responded with recommendations for several schools in the Valparaiso area — an interaction the boy posted in a screenshot on social media, police told the paper. One of the kid’s friends saw the post and quickly called cops, according to police.  ... NY Post
 

[Cyber Liberty]

Boy, 13, arrested after telling Siri he wanted to shoot up a school
By Natalie O'Neill
February 1, 2019 | 2:30pm | Updated


An Indiana middle schooler was busted for telling Siri he planned to open fire on a school — prompting the digital assistant to suggest possible ones nearby, police said in reports Friday.

The unnamed 13-year-old boy is accused of telling Siri, “I am going to shoot up a school,” the Valparaiso Police Department told the Northwest Indiana Times.

The voice-activated iPhone assistant then responded with recommendations for several schools in the Valparaiso area — an interaction the boy posted in a screenshot on social media, police told the paper. One of the kid’s friends saw the post and quickly called cops, according to police.  ... NY Post
 

Digital Assistants can be helpful...sometimes.  I asked Alexa to recommend a Bordello, but she snubbed me, even though Nevada is right across the river.  I guess she never heard of Pahrump?

The system needs work.

[240B]

Man Wants to Sue Parents for Giving Birth to Him Without His Consent

OddityCentral
By Spooky
February 1st, 2019

A 27-year-old man from New Delhi, India, wants to take his parents to court for bringing him into this world without first asking for his consent.

Raphael Samuel is an anti-natalist, a person who believes that people should abstain from procreation because giving birth to sentient beings without asking for their consent is morally wrong. Samuel doesn’t have anything against children or life itself, he simply believes that a life form which has not given its consent to live should not be brought into the world and thus to be subject to the hardships of life. Because he considers himself a victim of life without “forced life”, the young Indian plans to take his parents to court.

(more)
https://www.odditycentral.com/news/man-wants-to-sue-parents-for-giving-birth-to-him-without-his-consent.html

[mountaineer]

Man catches fire after being tased outside restaurant
By Jon Rogers, The Sun
February 2, 2019 | 9:35pm

This is the shocking moment a man caught fire after he was tased outside a restaurant in Philadelphia.

Witness Pat Tackney, who filmed the incident, said he saw the man being confronted outside of Jim’s Steaks in the south of the US city.

Pat claims the man refused to leave the restaurant and was forcibly removed.

The video shows two men, thought to be security guards from the restaurant, use a stun gun on the unnamed man before his leg catches fire. ...

Sun via NY Post; video at link

[thackney]

Man catches fire after being tased outside restaurant
By Jon Rogers, The Sun
February 2, 2019 | 9:35pm

This is the shocking moment a man caught fire after he was tased outside a restaurant in Philadelphia.

Witness Pat Tackney, who filmed the incident, said he saw the man being confronted outside of Jim’s Steaks in the south of the US city.

Pat claims the man refused to leave the restaurant and was forcibly removed.

The video shows two men, thought to be security guards from the restaurant, use a stun gun on the unnamed man before his leg catches fire. ...

Sun via NY Post; video at link

Spilled a shot on his leg before they drug him outside?  Flamed up quick and back out quick.

[verga]

Spilled a shot on his leg before they drug him outside?  Flamed up quick and back out quick.

Wow, if this had gone a little more sideways, he could have been listed in the Obit 2019

[sneakypete]

Spilled a shot on his leg before they drug him outside?  Flamed up quick and back out quick.

@thackney

Is that really possible?

[roamer_1]

Spilled a shot on his leg before they drug him outside?  Flamed up quick and back out quick.

Something... Gasoline would have burned longer... Pretty yellow flame for alcohol... 

[Smokin Joe]

Something... Gasoline would have burned longer... Pretty yellow flame for alcohol... 

Must be rotgut. Strong rotgut, but rotgut. Should burn blue...

[Cyber Liberty]

@thackney

Is that really possible?

Bacardi Rum 151 will catch fire, as will Absinthe. 

[Smokin Joe]

Bacardi Rum 151 will catch fire, as will Absinthe.

Old grandad had a high proof (150, iirc) and some brandies will burn, too.

[sneakypete]

Bacardi Rum 151 will catch fire, as will Absinthe.

@Cyber Liberty

I know. So will a lot of whiskey. My question is "Will a taser ignite alcohol on clothing? It seems unlikely to me.

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty

I know. So will a lot of whiskey. My question is "Will a taser ignite alcohol on clothing? It seems unlikely to me.

I saw it on Mythbusters.  Yup.

[sneakypete]

I saw it on Mythbusters.  Yup.

@Cyber Liberty

Myth Busters is still on? What channel?

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty

Myth Busters is still on? What channel?

They rebooted with kids running experiments (with Jamie watching).  It's not nearly as good as it once was.  I guess Adam and Jamie did not like each other.  I saw the episode about the flaming Tasers several seasons back.

[thackney]

I saw it on Mythbusters.  Yup.

I think that was pepper spray.

https://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/fireball-stun-gun-minimyth

[Cyber Liberty]

I think that was pepper spray.

https://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/fireball-stun-gun-minimyth

Yes, it was.  I think they used an oil-based spray.  Water-based does not burn.

[sneakypete]

They rebooted with kids running experiments (with Jamie watching).  It's not nearly as good as it once was.  I guess Adam and Jamie did not like each other.  I saw the episode about the flaming Tasers several seasons back.

@Cyber Liberty

Jamie was the fruit with the french hat and stylish stache,right? I don't think he liked anybody but himself.

[Cyber Liberty]

@Cyber Liberty

Jamie was the fruit with the french hat and stylish stache,right? I don't think he liked anybody but himself.

I'm talking about the other guy. Must be Adam.

[mountaineer]

Scientology Goes After Planters Icon Mr. Peanut For Critiquing Its Super Bowl Ad
 By Emily Zanotti
February 5, 2019

Poor Mr. Peanut. This year's Super Bowl left something to be desired and the commercials were no exception. But when the well-known legume decided to become a Twitter critic of the Church of Scientology's creepy 30-second spot on Sunday, he found himself in more trouble than he anticipated.

Planters had its own commercial featuring Alex Rodriguez and Charlie Sheen, but the company's spokes-peanut also appeared on Twitter, and when Scientology aired its ad, Mr. Peanut responded directly.

    Watching the @Scientology ad like... pic.twitter.com/iCnkfmTS8l
    — Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut) February 4, 2019

Scientology doesn't take kindly to critics, and social media users were quick to point out in their responses to the tweet that Mr. Peanut better watch his back — and probably his front lawn, as Scientology is known to dispatch private investigators to hunt down dirt on detractors, whom they label as SPs or "suppressive persons" (or, in this case, "suppressive peanut"), in a process known to Scientologists as "Fair Game."  ...

It turns out, it wasn't far off the mark. Within minutes of Planters' tweet, prominent Scientologists, including some heavily involved in the Church's "Stand League," which operates as something of a "digital rapid response" operation, were tweeting that Planters was exhibiting "anti-religious bigotry."  ...

Daily Wire

There's anti-religious bigotry, and then there's anti-oppressive fascistic cult bigotry.

[TomSea]

Robbers in clown masks had machetes, so grandma beat them with a scooter, Texas cops say
By Matthew Martinez    February 07, 2019

The robbers in clown masks had the element of surprise, but the Texas couple they threatened fought back, police say.

Two men wearing clown masks and wielding machetes pulled up alongside a couple sitting in their truck in their driveway in Texas City just before 2:30 a.m. on Feb. 1, according to a police report obtained by KPRC.

Texas City is a town of nearly 50,000 residents that sits along Galveston Bay near the Gulf Coast.

Read more here: https://www.star-telegram.com/news/state/texas/article225912220.html#storylink=cpy

The scooter I gather is one of those little scooters you see kids playing on, toy scooter.  If one reads the story, it's pretty ridiculous.   What a couple of goof balls and good for the couple that defended themselves.

[240B]

Man Batters Girlfriend With A Burrito

The Smoking Gun
FEBRUARY 12, 2019

FEBRUARY 12--For the second time in as many weeks, a Florida Man has been arrested for battering a  woman with a burrito, according to court records.

Police charge that Peter Elacqua, 41, got into an argument with his girlfriend Friday in their Port Richey residence.

After Elacqua allegedly shoved the woman into a chair in their bedroom, he “threw his burrito at the Victim,” striking her in the face with the food item.

When a sheriff’s deputy arrived at the home in response to a 911 call, the woman had “the contents of the burrito dispersed across her face, neck, and left chest/shoulder area.”

(more)
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/another-burrito-battery-803261

Lamest 'domestic abuse' case I've heard of. So I guess all the movies with people getting a pie in the face was really assault and battery? What about all the times a woman throws a drink in a man's face? He lost his temper and let off steam by throwing a burrito.  Imagine all the things he could have done which would have been much worse.

What a weird country America is becoming.

[mountaineer]

Unless the burrito was about 200 degrees and loaded with hot peppers, I'm sure she's okay. 

[bigheadfred]

 

[Wingnut]

Is that what they are calling it these post Bezos days. A burreto.

[Cyber Liberty]

Is that what they are calling it these post Bezos days. A burreto.

I hope, in the name of all things Holy, we're never treated to "Burrito Pics."

[mountaineer]

I hope, in the name of all things Holy, we're never treated to "Burrito Pics."

Uh oh, what did Carlos Danger call little Carlito?

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

Man Batters Girlfriend With A Burrito

The Smoking Gun
FEBRUARY 12, 2019

FEBRUARY 12--For the second time in as many weeks, a Florida Man has been arrested for battering a  woman with a burrito, according to court records.

If it was any other state, I think everyone would just assume that it was the same guy getting busted twice.

[verga]

Some of my students were talking today in class and they said just for fun google "Florida man", They did and about 20 stories came up with that as the first words of the opening sentence, followed by either "detained" or "arrested for" each one was more ridiculous than the one before. There was one story about one Fl resident that engaged in "beasteality" with his neighbors pony.

[mountaineer]

A dead man heads to a runoff election. 

Voters keep late Edmond mayor on ballot for general election, select new Norman mayor
By Josh Wallace
Published: Wed, February 13, 2019 1:04 AM


A deceased man is headed to the general election for Edmond mayor after voters on Tuesday gave late Mayor Charles Lamb enough votes for a top-two finish with former Mayor Dan O’Neil.

O’Neil garnered 3,492 votes, or 55.91 percent of the vote with all precincts reporting, while Lamb took 2,038 votes, or 32.63 percent.  ...

O'Neil and Lamb will be on the ballot in the April 2 general election.  ...

O’Neil said he will reach out to the community in the coming weeks to explain how he would govern if elected, saying there would not be much difference between him and Lamb.   Full story

Except for the breathing thingey, of course.

[thackney]

...O’Neil garnered 3,492 votes, or 55.91 percent of the vote with all precincts reporting...

I thought a majority vote eliminated the need for a run-off.  Dead man should already be the mayor.

[InHeavenThereIsNoBeer]

They gave blacks the right to vote, next thing you know blacks are getting elected.

They gave women the right to vote, next thing you know women are getting elected.

Who didn't see this one coming?

[Cyber Liberty]

I thought a majority vote eliminated the need for a run-off.  Dead man should already be the mayor.

It's not a run-off, it's a General Election.  The rules say the top two go to the General.  One is dead, and if he wins the General, the City Counsel will replace him.  If he were disqualified by virtue of being dead, there would still be a General Election in April, but with the dead guy replaced with the third-place finisher.

The dead guy, by the way, did not get the 55%.  He came in second with 33%.

[mountaineer]

The dead guy, by the way, did not get the 55%.  He came in second with 33%.

He served as mayor before his death (presumably before his death, anyway  ), and the voters didn't want him back in office.

[Cyber Liberty]

He served as mayor before his death (presumably before his death, anyway  ), and the voters didn't want him back in office.

That's what it looks like to me, too.  I'd give him about zero probability of winning the General, dead or alive.

[mountaineer]

That's what it looks like to me, too.  I'd give him about zero probability of winning the General, dead or alive.

Don't rule out the sympathy vote. 

[Smokin Joe]

They gave blacks the right to vote, next thing you know blacks are getting elected.

They gave women the right to vote, next thing you know women are getting elected.

Who didn't see this one coming?

Beautiful! 

[jmyrlefuller]

"Honey, if you want to get me some flowers this Valentine's Day, could you get me some tulips?"
"What's that, sweetheart? Turnips??? Well, OK, if that's what you want!"

https://www.wivb.com/news/kentucky-man-mistakenly-gets-wife-turnips-instead-of-tulips-for-valentine-s-day/1787996641

[mountaineer]

I prefer parsnips, but that's just me.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

"Honey, if you want to get me some flowers this Valentine's Day, could you get me some tulips?"
"What's that, sweetheart? Turnips??? Well, OK, if that's what you want!"

https://www.wivb.com/news/kentucky-man-mistakenly-gets-wife-turnips-instead-of-tulips-for-valentine-s-day/1787996641

w
At least she didn't turn up her nose at the gift once they got to the root of the problem.

[Machiavelli]

Man punches his lawyer in the face after being sentenced to 45 years in prison

Cory Shaffer
cleveland.com
February 20, 2019

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- A Warrensville Heights man shocked a courtroom full of spectators Tuesday when he sucker-punched his own defense attorney after a judge sentenced him to 45 years in prison, witnesses told cleveland.com.

Cuyahoga County sheriff’s deputies took down David Chislton after the 42-year-old struck lawyer Aaron Brockler in the face with both of his handcuffed fists, the witnesses said. Chislton spurred an hours-long police standoff in 2017 when he pistol-whipped his girlfriend and set his apartment complex on fire.

Brockler was visibly shaken up but seemed to be in good spirits as deputies and Cleveland EMTs wheeled him out of Common Pleas Court Judge Nancy Margaret Russo’s courtroom on a stretcher.

More


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDDEsHa0A5k

?

[Applewood]

What a guy!   Pistol whips his girlfriend, sets his apartment complex on fire, then sucker punches his own attorney. 

Think the guy has some anger management issues?

[240B]

What a guy!   Pistol whips his girlfriend, sets his apartment complex on fire, then sucker punches his own attorney. 

Think the guy has some anger management issues?

You just described the majority of guys in prison. He'll fit right in.
Likely he would have punched anyone. His attorney just happened to be the closest person to him.
Accepts no responsibility for his own behavior. It's all da man keepin' him down.
He prolly should have been there years ago.

[Cyber Liberty]

You just described the majority of guys in prison. He'll fit right in.
Likely he would have punched anyone. His attorney just happened to be the closest person to him.
Accepts no responsibility for his own behavior. It's all da man keepin' him down.
He prolly should have been there years ago.

I'm sure the pistol-whipped GF agrees with you.

[mountaineer]

MARYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — A Tennessee man was jailed on felony charges after appearing to dip his testicles into a container of salsa that a customer had ordered online.

The delivery driver allegedly recorded it and posted a video online, saying "This is what you get when you give an 89 cents tip for an almost 30-minute drive."

News outlets report that the passenger, 31-year-old Howard Matthew Webb, was arrested last week and charged with adulteration of food. ...  Rest of story


The spicy perp.